《Nerds in Dungeonia!》Chapter 28
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I was in shock. I tried to speak, but only muddled blathering came out.
“Nothing to say?” Minerva stared down her nose at me, triumph a light veneer over her unbridled hate. “And you were such a smooth talker earlier.” She motioned with her hand. “Bring the others up here, as well.”
Jenn and Topher came from their hiding places, escorted by more leather-clad soldiers. “Hey, watch it!” bellowed Topher. “Police brutality! I’ll sue you all, you racists.”
I didn’t see Kevin - he must have eluded them. I turned back to Minerva, who was lingering on the satisfaction of having me over a barrel. Maybe she hadn’t noticed Kevin’s absence. Time to play for distraction. “You attacked us while we were talking down the goblins?” I spewed the words like fire, making my fist with the rose petals tremble in semi-faux rage.
“The exact details are unimportant,” she dismissed me with her tone. “You were seen escorting a goblin to meet with other goblins - more than enough for an arrest. The courts can decide your final fate.”
I didn’t like that word ‘final’. And how did she know we were escorting him? Was she following us? Or used some sort of magic? And why didn’t she mention the series of misunderstandings we left Woodsedge with?
“Besides,” she added, glancing sideways at the char that was Yik. “He was going to take that deal to kill you. His response was in Goblin - he didn’t want you to know what they were talking about. Of course, I assume you actually know Goblin, or at least have access to magic that lets you understand it?”
Best not to answer and change the subject. “So you followed us, listened in on our conversation and waited to act? I’m sorry, but if it’s really so bad for us to even be talking to these goblins, why wouldn’t you intercede at some point before then? And if you were paying attention the whole time, then you know I started off hidden from the large group - who’s to say we weren’t waiting to attack them ourselves?”
“You can take up your case to the courts,” she said. “But no one’s going to be lenient on you for fear of being branded a goblin sympathizer themselves.” Menace filled her eyes. “Especially not after you claimed to be with the AUTC. That was the last nail in your coffin. If there was a chance that you might’ve talked your way out of your goblin association, it would be squashed by that.”
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“Shall we bind them, Captain?” asked one of her lackeys. They had longbows and shortswords - scouts, probably. By the book, scouts were very good at perception checks. Kevin might not stay hidden long….
“Hold off on that,” she said, “but keep your bows ready.” She walked up to me, just more than arms’ length away. “Well, Jack, I’ll give you a choice,” she said, quietly enough to not be overheard.
This should be interesting. “Yes?”
“We both know the sentence for goblin sympathizers is death.”
“I didn’t, actually.”
She looked somewhat shocked at that, but recovered quickly. “Interesting. Well, now that you know, I’ll cut you a deal.”
“…Really?” I was more than a little incredulous.
“Give me a little information, and I’ll give you a chance to escape.”
“…Ah,” I said.
“…’Ah’? Is that a yes?”
I shook my head. “It’s a definitive no,” I said, loudly enough to be heard by everyone. “Or rather, assuming you’d actually believe me and not beat me, I’d be happy to provide whatever information you’d like, but I wouldn’t take your offer to escape. Not at face value. I saw the look you gave me when you appeared - you hate me. Absolutely abhor me, for some reason. And I saw you have your men beat a guy half to death just because he was caught in a fire, so forgive me if I doubt your goodwill. I honestly think you want us to try to run away just so you can have an excuse to shoot us down. …Ah, that look tells me I’m right. So isn’t this interesting? I believe you when you say we’d be sentenced to death for this, but that’s a conundrum - if we’re going to die anyway, why make sure it’s now? Assurance? Vendetta? Or is there something you’re not telling me?”
“She didn’t mention anything about our escapades in Woodsedge,” said Jenn. I intensified my stare into Minerva’s eyes to make sure she stayed focused on me. I might’ve come off as a bit crazy, but it worked. “And she waited until she had enough to ensure we’d be convicted - I’m guessing we caught someone’s attention, and they want us for something. She was trying to be sure she could eliminate us without raising too many questions.”
“Sounds plausible,” I said. “Anything else you’d like to tell me, Captain?”
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She was breathing with slow intensity to keep her rage under control. “Don’t try to paint me as the villain.” She gave me a burning look, but softened it with smugness. “I suppose you know that four of your fellows from America are dead?”
My blood ran cold. “…What?”
“You didn’t?” she smiled. “And yet, you passed their corpses outside of Woodsedge. I’d have liked to discuss that with you, but I suppose it can’t be helped.” She walked back to her troops. “Bind these four - tightly. I don’t want any circulation getting to their hands, understood?”
One of the scouts suddenly went pale. “Four, Captain?”
Minerva’s eyes widened. She spun to Jenn and Topher, who gave her innocent smiles. “Oh, you stupid, backwater arrow fodder. I told you—“
Kevin appeared from behind her, dagger at her throat. “Hello, Captain,” he said. “Tell your men to stand down.”
“Oh, Keebler,” she said, which, despite everything, caused me to snicker. “Nice of you to join us.”
“Good to be here.” Crimson beaded on the blade as he pressed it gently into her neck. “Now let us go.”
Minerva didn’t say anything. She just seemed to focus. The scouts warily looked to her, hands tensed on their weapons.
Without warning, Kevin dropped his dagger and let go of her, backing off in pain. Minerva had grown hundreds of sharp spines all around her body - the Alter Self spell. I didn’t see her cast it, so she must have done so earlier. Crafty. Also, disgusting looking.
“Get them!” she screamed, not wasting any words. Spinning around, she pulled out an orb from a pouch. “Through crystals of light!”
A bright flash of rainbow burst straight into Kevin’s face. He floundered, covering his eyes with one hand and swingingly madly with a freshly drawn dagger in the other.
Time to go for broke. I pulled the rose petals to my mouth as my magical limb struggled to get through to my soul - it seemed the murky shell had somehow condensed since I last cast a spell. I powered through as I blew the petals into the air. “For night is dreamless!” I yelled with the same breath.
Two scouts fell to the ground - I must’ve rolled well. Off where Topher and Jenn were, a violent storm of sneezing erupted. A quick glance showed that Jenn had unleashed a cloud of the black powder we’d gotten from the goblins. Topher, meanwhile, had ripped the bows from two terrified scouts and snapped the shafts simultaneously over his knee.
The last bits of twilight were fading fast. “Start running!” I yelled to Jenn and Topher. “I’ll help Keebler!” I charged.
“Don’t let them escape!” screamed Minerva. She backed a few paces to put both me and Kevin in her sight. “Through crystals of light!”
Amplified by the growing gloom of night, the colors hit me like a truck. “Argh, again?” bemoaned Kevin, who had just been recovering from the first blast. I kept running with arms out wide - I had experience fighting when I couldn’t see. It was going to hurt, though.
I caught Minerva in the crook of my arm, and bear hugged her - quills and all. A hundred points of pain blanketed my body, but I pushed through it, dragging her to the ground. “Kevin! I’ve got her pinned! Help me grab the orb from her!”
“Get off me! Sleaze! Insect! Who’s Kevin?” She shook violently underneath me, pricking me constantly. I shoved an elbow just south of her throat and used the other hand to search along her arm to the orb.
A third and fourth hand made it to the frenzy, and seconds later Kevin called, “I… got it!”
“You… You…. Get them off of me!”
I rolled away, vision slowly coming back. I readied myself for an attack from the scouts. None came.
“Throw the orb!” I called to Kevin. “Make her choose between it and us!”
“Already done!” said Kevin. I felt him grab my hand. “It’s too dark for you, right? C’mon!” And we were off.
“What are you doing?” Minerva called to her troops. “After them!”
“Sorry, Ma’am!” said one, strained. “But Cheme and Yersley have gone berserk! We’re trying to keep ‘em off!”
Berserk? Jenn must’ve cast Command without me noticing. Kevin and I kept going through the woods, me trusting his sight to get us through the darkness. I could feel my clothes and armor stick to my skin with blood. The sounds of sneezing, fighting, and Minerva’s frantic orders faded into the night.
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