"So, umm, how do we explain this exactly?"

"I... have no idea." I answer. We just got to Eryk's house. It took some time since I don't remember the exact spot, and the upper class people in the central district have been avoiding us, so we can't ask for directions, not that anyone would know his house by name probably, now that I think about it.

It took us long enough to find our way here that John and Eryk just got to the orphanage too, despite the much longer walk. Then the door before us opens, Irene looking down at us with mild distaste. I wonder if that will change when I live here?

"What?" she asks flatly. I can't even blame her. We just showed up, standing on their doorstep, alone. No Eryk, no John, just us. Do I tell her about Eryk is adopting me? No no, there's no way she would believe me saying something like that out of nowhere!

"The doctor told me to come here and wait for Eryk. John went with him." I add on, to explain why he isn't with us anymore.

"Hmm..." her expressions remains neutral for some time as she thinks. She must be weighing whether or not she can believe what I'm saying. But even if she isn't sure, it wouldn't really hurt to just let me wait for a bit, would it? Is she really that opposed to me staying here? Won't that cause problems after Eryk adopts me? While I suddenly start worrying over that, Irene just keeps staring down at me with her piercing gaze.

"What about her? Why is she here?" she suddenly asks, gesturing to Emily.

"Umm?" I look back and forth between Emily and Irene. "She's... with me?"

"Mmm." She still sounds displeased.

"Huh?" I spin around, looking north.

"What's is it?" Emily asks.

"Something's wrong." Eryk is leaving the orphanage. It's been like twenty five ticks, not even enough time to hold much of a conversation. We couldn't even convince Irene to let us into the house in that time. I spin back around and bow. "I'm very sorry, Irene. We won't be staying here right now." I turn back. "We're going to meet Eryk." I grab Emily's hand, pulling her with me as we leave his house behind.

"She's still bowing," I hear Irene sigh from behind, but push it from my mind. Did something go wrong with the adoption? The next thing I know, my feet are speeding up. Did Mister Fredricson refuse? But he only seems to care about money, and he could have charged Eryk a lot, right? By now, we're running. Could it be he demanded more than Eryk was carrying, so he has to get more? He is moving fast, his shoulders tense and angry as Chisa follows overhead.

We have to go all the way up through the central district before we reach East Main Street. I'm panting, all my muscles sore, my injuries burning, all my terrible feelings from today clawing at the back of my mind. I keep pulling Emily along as I rush. I don't know if the problem is a big one or a small one. For all I know, Mister Fredricson had the whole contract ready and waiting, and Eryk just signed, but he just didn't like the price.

But this terrible feeling pushing its way up past the bubbles of joy, keeps me running, even as my breath goes ragged. A little after the ninth bell, it's busy with everyone coming in for the night. We dash between carts and crowds on the packed Main Street, quickly approaching the central market.

Then we hit the plaza. Eryk is right near the north side. I stop, doubling over as I fight to catch my breath. But I can't stop, I kick off again after just a few gasps, running right toward him as he enters from the north side.

Then we break from the crowd and he's there, John at his side. It's hard to breathe as I stand, panting and drenched in sweat under the late summer sun. I stare, somewhat blurry eyed from fatigue.

Eryk is staring back at me, no trace of his usual demeanor. I can read his expression plainly. Conflicted, pained, and angry. And I know he can read mine, my question written all across my face. He doesn't need to know how I know, he doesn't even ask.

He just walks up, puts a hand on my head, and says, "Sorry."

The word makes something inside me crack.

We stand there for a long time. People walk past, long shadows rolling over as they look on from the sides. Eventually, I bring my breathing under control.

"Aria... he said no."

"What do you mean?"

"He wouldn't let me adopt you."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

We keep standing there. I still don't feel it at all. Maybe I'm in shock? All my thoughts before... What about the servants? The battles? Work? Emily? None of it matters now, because it isn't happening.

"That man is evil." John actually speaks up from the side.

"What happened?" I ask flatly. I still don't feel anything.

John looks away and Eryk answers. "He said he would consider it for three gold coins."

"How much is that?"

"Thirty million barr," Eryk says.

At the rate Eryk pays me, "That's twenty five years of my pay."

"He couldn't even just say no, that man..." Eryk's teeth grit so hard that I can see all the muscles in his jaw, his whole face twisted in pain.

"Oh."

.

.

.

"Aria?" Eryk is looking at me weird.

"Yeah?"

"..." He opens his mouth a little, but can't seem to say anything.

"You... don't look sad," John says.

"Oh. I don't know. I guess I don't feel it yet, or something."

No, I know this feeling. This emptiness. It feels like... like I don't care.

"Oh, I get it," I realize out loud. "I broke again."

Everyone is staring at me. "It's like Beth said, I've gone right back to where I started." I turn away. "I let myself hope. Without even realizing it, I started to think that things would get better. That's why this happened, because I don't deserve happiness."

Then I walk away.

I can feel Maven, Myra and the others. They want to say something, to encourage me. But even they know it won't do any good. How can they cheer me up when I'm not even sad?

I walk for a long time, no destination. The sun is setting. Emily is still with me. She doesn't say anything, but she stays at my side. The bright orange sky gleams overhead, not a cloud in sight, while the people vanish one after another.

Orange dims to purple dims to black, with the dazzling full moon rising alone to illuminate this world. No matter how far I walk, nothing changes. No matter how much I work, or how far I go. No matter how much changes around me, I can't change myself. I clawed my way up from that pit, but as soon as I thought I saw the light, I was kicked right back down.

It isn't fair.

I finally stop trying. The last of my futile efforts give way, and I fall to the ground. I stare up at the full moon directly overhead. It's exactly like my vision. The only light in these dark skies, infinitely far away and forever out of reach.

"There you are..."