One, two, three… thirty-three. That was how many zombies I had in my horde, not including my party. Probably. This was the fourth time I had stopped to check on them, and I was relatively confident that I had lost none in the last two hours. My difficulties with numbers didn’t help to speed things up.

I didn’t really know how many zombies we started with after looting them from Voulos’ pit trap. However, before we jumped out of the tower, we had sixty-two pit zombies, eight bomber zombies, and my little party of four. I was relatively confident in those numbers because I could count how many empty glass vials I had in my potion chest.

Half of the horde fluffed the landing, but only those who splattered their brains on the ground died outright. I had salvaged most of the injured zombies by healing them after the jump, but had sacrificed a bomber zombie to do so. I didn’t count how many crippled or dead zombies I left beneath the tower, but my best guess was that we still had at least fifty zombies when we entered the woods.

If that estimate was accurate, then we had lost approximately twenty zombies since then, perhaps more. It hadn’t occurred to me that my kin would just wander off after our dramatic escape. I certainly wouldn’t have wasted a bomber getting them back on their feet had I known how ungrateful they would be.

I might never have even realised we had zombies missing if I hadn’t heard a pair of lost zombies fall into a nearby river. When we had fished the wet zombies out, I recognised one of them. It had a rather memorable face with both eyes swollen in their sockets, and almost ready to burst.

The problem was that I could hardly see half the horde half the time. It was the middle of the night, and the storm blocked out any moonlight. The only light was the occasional flash of lightning above. I might be able to see in the dark, but the lack of colours made was less than ideal. Combined with a thick and persistent fog, it was practically impossible to see the woods ahead.

However, the biggest obstacle was the bloody forest itself. Endless trees stretched into the sky like a legion of spears thrusting upwards. The branches were short, twisted, and armed with dagger-like leaves. The sheer density of trees made it impossible to walk in a straight line for any length of time.

To avoid any more zombies wandering off, I organised my party into a herding formation. Hans and I took up the rear-guard where he could best see the horde. The status effects from the wisdom potions had run out a little over an hour ago, so four of us took a wisdom potion each to keep our wits sharp. I also took one of the limited charisma potions to keep it above the mortal threshold.

With our capabilities boosted, we worked together to keep the horde penned in. Abs and Pecs took up positions on either side of the horde so that they could apprehend any zombie that tried to wander off.

Hans and I hung back behind the horde. With his wisdom back to five, my faithful companion was back to his former self. His job was to drive the horde forwards. I rested in the hood of Voulos’ robe so that he had both hands free to manhandle rebellious zombies.

My role in all this was to monitor everything using the circle box from my party chat. It was the perfect tool for keeping an eye on Voulos’ former minions, so I called it the ‘minion map’. That was a bit of a mouthful, so I shortened it to ‘minimap’

The minimap displayed a moderately large area in its largest setting. It showed a simplified drawing of the surrounding terrain, but more importantly, it displayed any nearby creatures. Party members had blue stars to mark their position and were labelled on the map. Other creatures had white stars and only had a name if I mentally gave them one.

Using the minimap to keep watch proved incredibly effective. Since we assumed our herding formation, we hadn’t lost a single zombie. I even closed my eyes so that I could devote all of my attention to monitoring it.

One, two, three… thirty-five. At least I was getting better at counting past ten. After two hours of staring at my minimap I doubted any more zombies were going to run off. Once the wisdom potions ran out, the horde lacked any kind of personality. Once they got moving, they kept going; when we brought them to a stop, they stood there aimlessly. The ten or so of my kin that were missing had likely wandered away right at the start, and it was pure coincidence that we rediscovered the one stuck in the river.

The minimap was useful as a safeguard, as it ensured we didn’t accidentally leave any zombies behind. Several times a zombie would fall over and struggle to stand back up again. One of my lieutenants would pull them to their feet and the march would continue.

Our shambling exodus had taken us deep into the woods. Given my own difficulties finding anything in these accursed woods, I doubted that the [Enforcer] would fare any better. If it could track me through the darkness and constant drizzle, then an extra kilometre or two wasn’t going to save me.

I needed to take a moment to think. Plan A had been running away. The best we could manage was a speedy shuffle, but we had made good progress. I hadn’t seen any angels yet, so we must have been doing something right.

Plan B had been to fight the [Enforcer]. My mind went back to the paladin in her shining armour. I might have landed the killing blow, but the paladin had massacred over a thousand zombies before I heroically put a stop to her.

If I was being entirely honest with myself, I knew that without the avalanche I would have died just like the rest of my kin. Would I end up any better against this [Enforcer]?

In my current state, I was too weak to fight a [Cherub], let alone an elite heavenly bounty hunter. I needed levels if I was going to stand a chance. Before my progress reset, I hadn’t really appreciated how much difference those levels made.

However, just a few hours ago I had seen Abs walk off a fall that one-shot my weaker kin. Not only that, but she also then lay there tanking fifty-odd zombies slamming into her. The party interface didn’t tell me exactly how much health she had remaining, but it gave me the general sense that she still had over half her health remaining before the bomber healed her up.

Would my zombie bodyguards be able to save me? I hoped so, but they wouldn’t be able to do much if I died in a single hit. I was pathetically weak at the moment, no better than one of the bumbling pit zombies.

Frustrated at my inadequacy, I called the horde to a halt. One, two, three… thirty-six. That wasn’t right. The last three counts had all come in at thirty-five, ever since we found the pair in the river. Did I mess up the count again?

One, two, three… thirty-six. I checked twice to be sure. Zombies don’t just appear out of thin air. Maybe we had stumbled across a wild zombie, or perhaps a lost minion. I knew that there were a few zombie hordes stockpiled in small hidden crypts throughout the woods to intercept invaders.

It wasn’t until I really focused that I noticed where the extra number had come from. The screamer zombie from the tower had followed us all the way out here. Not only that, but it had also somehow inserted itself into the middle of the horde without me noticing. That was impressive, considering the attention I had been focusing on my minimap.

Should I try talking to it again? Incorporating the screamer into my horde would definitely be helpful, but it was an incredibly skittish zombie. It seemed determined to follow us regardless, so why risk scaring it off by confronting it?

Leaving the screamer to assimilate, I turned my mind to the next goal: getting my levels back. The plan was simple: find and kill things until I levelled up. It was just a matter of finding the right targets. My dash-bite combination might not carry me through an actual fight, but against forest critters, it might just work.

Hunting in the dark would have usually been impossible, even with my night vision, but I had an unfair advantage. During our march through the woods, I had noticed that I could see the local wildlife on my minimap. There weren’t many animals about. It was surprisingly dead in the woods, but every now and again I would spot the white dot of a bird, or small mammal. That was how I knew that there was an owl in a tree not too far away from where we had stopped.

Sadly, my first hunting trip was not a massive success. Hans was not exactly stealthy, and the owl took off when he tried to climb the tree. All he really did was scratch the bark in an effort to reach a branch that was clearly out of his reach.

Attempt number two didn’t go much better. This time, I selected a tree with a family of bats hanging from the branches. I had the bright idea of asking Hans to throw me up the tree at them. The throw put me in range to use [Dash Attack], but I was spinning wildly, so I lost sight of my target. On my way down, I got wedged between two branches and got stuck.

I had to ask Pecs to knock me down, and his heavy punches against the tree blew any chance I had to surprise the bats. When he caught me, I spared a look towards in the branches, and saw that the bats were long gone, though I noticed one lone bat flying high above the trees on the edge of my minimap. That was when I remembered something I had seen in Pecs’ abbreviated character sheet. I went into his sheet to make sure, and sure enough, I saw he had an ability called [Hurl Zombie].

Unlike when I read my own sheet, I could only see the names of the abilities when I read Pecs’ sheet. That left me guessing when it came to unfamiliar abilities. However, this particular ability seemed pretty self-explanatory. Just to be safe, I had Pecs demonstrate it on one of the pit zombies.

Splinters exploded from a nearby tree when the zombie flew straight into it. What was interesting was that the test zombie didn’t look like it had taken any damage from the impact at all, just like [Rush Attack]. It would have been really useful to discover this ability a few hours ago before we jumped out of the tower. I winced at the thought of all the wasted wisdom potions, but there was no use crying over spilt brains.

Our activities had scared away any local wildlife, so I set the horde on the march until I came across another hotspot of roosting birds. This time, it was a murder of crows that blended into the shadows. They couldn’t hide from my minimap though, and we closed in.

Attempt number three was a partial success, and a narrowly avoided disaster. Pecs grabbed me in one beefy hand before launching me into the air towards a crow like a cannonball. When I hit the unlucky bird, it exploded in a shower of flesh and feathers. So far, so good.

Unfortunately, my momentum continued upward and onwards into the sky. For a brief moment, I was above the trees, and could see the mountains in the distance. Then I fell. I knew a fall from this height could kill me, and that was something I really should have considered before this happened.

Out of desperation I tried to replicate the trick I had used to escape the tower, but there was no-one to target. I checked my minimap, but there were no nearby animals or zombies, only trees, trees and more trees. Wait, trees are living creatures! I prayed they counted as a valid target for my [Dash Attack]. A split second before I splattered on the floor, I focused on the nearest tree, and dashed straight into it.

At least I had a semi-reliable way to sky dive, I told myself as I shook myself off. Hopefully, the tree didn’t mind my using it as a safety net. For a moment I thought that one of its twisted branches reached towards me, but it much have just been the wind as the branch swung back a moment later.

After all that I expected to see my experience jump up, when I checked my character sheet I saw it had only earned me one experience point. I would have to repeat this experience ninety-eight times to reach level two. That was a depressing thought. Honestly though, I shouldn't have been surprised; when Ghost had first gone out hunting, Hans had taken a while to level up…

Why didn’t I think of that in the first place?

‘Ghost?’ I messaged her through the party chat.

‘Yes?’

‘Can you kill things?’ I asked.

‘Kill what?’

‘Anything. Need levels fast.’

‘Yes. Kill, kill.’ She agreed with a hint of eagerness.

Ghost was only a few kilometres away now. I wanted her to join the horde, but she would probably hunt better alone. After I had a couple more levels, I would ask her to come over to us. With the speed she moved, it wouldn’t take her long to meet up with us, anyway.

With my levelling plan sorted, and out of my hands, I set the horde on the march again. While we walked, I closed my eyes and opened the party menu to fiddle with the settings. I recalled that our experience sharing was set to “evenly split”. There were other options listed, like “highest contribution”, “percentage contribution”, and “last hit”. None of these seemed better for me than an even split, so I left it alone.

There were also a few options for different permissions, but these didn’t seem especially useful. They let me decide who could invite new party members, and who could kick people out. It was just stuff like that.

Once I got bored reading through the party settings, I made a point of reminding myself what abilities my party members had at their disposal. Forgetting about Pecs’ throw ability had cost me greatly, and I didn’t want to mess up like that again. Almost as if to prove my point, I immediately noticed that Voulos hadn’t yet to assigned Hans his level five skill. I could have saved a couple of wisdom potions if he had [Supernatural Senses] earlier.

I asked Hans to select [Supernatural Senses], and before I closed his sheet, I considered the second-hand spellbook he carried. When we stripped Voulos of his clothes and gear we had taken the satchel that carried his main spellbook. Hans only had access to his first attunement slot at level four. There was no reason to use that slot on an inferior spellbook so together we went through his options.

[Reaper’s Tome] gave an extra two intelligence when attuned, but the spells within were only usable by a [Necromancer]. was probably the most powerful item in the right hands, but Hans’ handsome hands were not those hands.

The next item we appraised was the robe Hans was wearing. It was called [Reaper’s Robe], and it gave him two extra intelligence. The secondary benefit was that the robe increased the maximum mana of the wearer by one every time they killed something, up to a thousand. A thousand mana was huge, but Hans didn’t have any abilities that used mana. When he evolved into a [Vestigial Zombie] he probably would, but that was a way off.

We then borrowed Voulos’ severed hand to try out the magic rings. Two of the rings on Voulos’ severed hand were [Greater Intellect Rings], giving two intelligence each, but the third was a [Ring of Servitude]. This third ring also gave an extra two intelligence but could also summon a servant spirit to carry out simple tasks. When Hans activated it, I immediately recognised the hazy spectre it summoned from my breakfasts with Voulos. Maybe the spirit could cook brains for the horde?

We were spoilt for choice, and Hans only had one attunement slot until he hit level eight. If we saved the robe for his next slot and used the rest of his attribute score increases on intelligence, he would cross the mortal intelligence threshold at level nine. For now, I left him with the ring attuned, hoping the minor upgrade would make a difference.

Zombie, aka ‘Hans’

05:19, 21th of Iosi, 1465 3A

Total Level: 5 (Copper)

Type: Zombie (E)

Attributes:

Dexterity: 5

Strength: 13

Vitality: 14

Wisdom: 6

Intelligence: 6

Charisma: 2

Affinities: Nether (100%), Poison (50%), Fire (-25%), Holy (-100%)

Traits:

Made to Serve

Flesh Construct

Skills:

Supernatural Senses

Abilities:

Unarmed Strike

Rush Attack

Bite

Aroma Specialist

Attunements:

Ring of Servitude

Status Effects:

Wisdom Potion

Something was missing when I finally closed Hans’ sheet and looked at the party sheet. There were only five people in my party. A few hours ago, there had been six. That random lone zombie we have left behind in the tower wasn’t there anymore.

We had never managed to find it, but the minimap had shown that it was inside the tower somewhere. It had never responded to my messages over the party chat, so I had just given up on it. There might have been an innocent explanation for its disappearance, but given the circumstances, I assumed the worst.

Something had killed the zombie, and the list of suspects wasn’t very long. The most likely explanation was that the [Enforcer] had finally arrived. Would it be able to find me in the middle of this dark forest? If it did, would I be able to put up a fight?

Ghost had been busy while I fussed around with Hans’ attunements; I had twenty-four out of the hundred experience I needed to get to the next level. If I was lucky, the extra health might be enough for me to survive a single attack. If I was really lucky, that might give my hired muscle enough time to draw its attention.

I was putting a lot of my hopes on a miraculous rescue from the horde. It was a bit of a longshot. Ghost was our strongest fighter, but she was still four kilometres away. I couldn’t rely on Hans, he was only a few levels above me. My hulk bodyguards would have to do.

One, two, three… thirty-six. Outside of my party, I only had the pit zombies, and seven bomber zombies. Then I had the screamer. If a fight broke out, I wasn’t even sure if it would stay and fight, or run off into the trees.

With the lone zombie dead, I had an empty party slot, so I decided to attempt to entice the screamer to join. It didn’t go smoothly. The screamer was determined to avoid me, going so far as to crawl through the legs of pit zombies, and hide in bushes. It was surprisingly stealthy, but with me watching it on the minimap, there was no chance I would lose sight of it.

I had to coordinate Pecs, Abs and Hans into a three-pronged trap to corner the screamer, but faced with capture it decided to run away. Rather than force a confrontation I let it flee. If it was this scared of a casual conversation, then it was doubtful I could rely on it in a fight.

Instead I recruited the nearest bomber zombie. It was no surprise to find that she had the elite [Corpse Explosion] ability when I glanced over her sheet. I tried to nickname her ‘Bomb’ but messed up the spelling. I spent so much mental effort trying to remember the silent ‘b’ that I forgot the ‘m’. Thus, her nickname became ‘Bob’. She had two open attunement slots so I lent her the two [Intellect Rings].

Trap Four C, aka ‘Bob’

05:32, 21th of Iosi, 1465 3A

Total Level: 10 (Copper)

Type: Zombie (E)

Attributes:

Dexterity: 6

Strength: 13

Vitality: 17

Wisdom: 5

Intelligence: 6

Charisma: 2

Affinities: Nether (100%), Poison (50%), Fire (-25%), Holy (-100%)

Traits:

Made to Serve

Flesh Construct

Skills:

Supernatural Senses

Undead Resilience

Abilities:

Unarmed Strike

Rush Attack

Bite

Flesh Scent

Acid Spit

Corpse Explosion

Attunements (2/2)

Greater Intellect Ring: +2 Intelligence

Greater Intellect Ring: +2 Intelligence

I saw the spark of intelligence grow in her eyes and decided to spread the loot around. We needed more brains, not just to eat, but to think things through, and plan for the future. Cordelia was stubbornly hiding inside her flask, so I was going to have to rely on zombies alone.

Zed's end of chapter sheet:

King Zed ‘The Red’

05:40, 21th of Iosi, 1465 3A

Total Level: 1 (Copper)

Levels: Overseer 1

Experience: 24/100

Type: Overseer Zombie (C)

Attributes:

Resources:

Dexterity: 6

Stamina: N/A

Strength: 13

Power: N/A

Vitality: 15

Health: 30/30

Wisdom: 5

Willpower: 10/10

Intelligence: 5

Mana: 10/10

Charisma: 10

Soul: 20/20

Decay: 24% (Stage 0)

Affinities: Nether (100%), Poison (50%), Fire (-25%), Holy (-100%)

Titles:

King of the Braindead (Inactive): Access to Kingdom subsystem.

Red-Handed: +1 Intelligence, sets alignment as evil, hands are permanently dyed red.

Traits:

Made to Serve: +1 Intelligence, +1 Charisma. Understands system common, and the primary language of its creator (Orcish). Can follow simple commands based on the creator's intelligence divided by 10 (3 words long). Gives access to a portion of the knowledge contained within the host brain, better preserved brains retain more information.

Flesh Construct: Sustained by nether magic, does not need to eat, drink, sleep or breath. Does not regenerate Health. Does not use Stamina or Might, but instead uses Decay.

Overseer: +2 Charisma.

Not Braindead: +1 Wisdom, +1 Intelligence and +2 Charisma.

Skills:

First skill gained at level 5

Abilities:

Unarmed Strike - Copper - Level 1 (Unavailable):

0% Decay

1 Second Cooldown

Strikes at the target with an unarmed limb for 5 bludgeoning damage.

Dash Attack - Bronze- Level 1 (Restricted):

0% Decay

5 Second Cooldown

Dashes to a target within 3 meters for 9 bludgeoning damage with a chance to push back or knock over the target.

Poisoned Bite - Bronze - Level 2 (Restricted):

0% Decay

5 Second Cooldown

+1 Vitality and Bites the target for 9 piercing damage and a further 8 poison damage over the next 30 seconds.

Enrage Zombie - Bronze - Level 4 (Restricted):

50 Soul

No Cooldown

The user lets out a rage-filled shout at a target zombie to increase its Strength, Dexterity, and Vitality by +5 for 50 seconds.

Overseer’s Aura - Bronze - Level 3 (Restricted):

1 Soul / Second

No Cooldown

+1 Strength to all zombies within 13 meters.

Corpse Explosion - Steel - Level 2 (Restricted):

200 Mana

20 Second Cooldown

Explodes the targeted corpse to deal damage equal to the health it had when alive in a 2m radius. Any corpses in the range of the explosion have a 25% chance to explode as if targeted by this ability.

Attunements (3/0):

Ring of the Jester (Cursed): +2 Charisma but curses the wearer with [Jester’s Curse].

Princess Tiara: +3 Charisma and makes the wearer more attractive to Princes.

Intellect Ring: +1 Intelligence.

Status Effects:

Jester’s Curse: The target is cursed by the jester. The curse can only be lifted by a Sphinx’s laugh.

Team-Killer (358 days remaining): -2 Charisma

Charisma Potion (20 minutes remaining): +1 Charisma