“And have you considered the other uses for armor of slaughter other than defense?” Durandal asked.

No. I haven’t. If it could be used for offense, then it wouldn’t be called armor, right?

“Like I thought, you haven’t.” Durandal sighed. “If only I was stronger, then I could force you to learn properly. But I can’t beat you or simulate a dangerous environment anymore. You don’t have to surpass your limits to fight me now.” He rubbed his chin. “I should find a dragon for you to fight.”

“No, that’s okay. I’ll just practice controlling the shockwaves of my Breaking Blades.”

“Oh, I have a good idea,” Durandal said, his eyes lighting up. Dammit. Something bad is going to happen to me. I just know it. Durandal reached over, grabbed the back of my dress, and … is he going to—!? He tossed me outside! What the hell!?

Durandal’s head appeared by outside the carriage’s window. Were they speeding up!? “Lucia, use your armor of slaughter to lift yourself off the ground and chase after us. No part of your body is allowed to touch the ground. Every time you make contact with the ground, I’ll throw out a cup of hot chocolate.”

I knew Durandal didn’t have kind intentions when he asked to hold onto my interspacial ring! But I was tricked by stupid head pats! Armor of slaughter! My qi surged around my body, and a faint layer of red light appeared on my skin. This should be enough to keep me off the ground, right? But Durandal seriously underestimated me. I could run faster than two horses pulling a carriage with my eyes closed and on one leg while moving backwards. …Not that I’m going to do that to myself.

“You’re not high enough off the ground,” Durandal said from up ahead. A splash of brown liquid flew out of the window. No! My chocolate! Dammit, Durandal! I’m not going to take it easy on you during our next spar! I transferred some of the qi armor from my arms to my legs. The red light grew thicker around my feet, and I was even higher up. Was I running faster too?

“Higher.”

This isn’t enough? Then I’ll use all my qi! The armor of slaughter crawled down my body, merging with the qi by my feet. I should rename this to boots of slaughter. And now I’ll just grab onto this part of the carriage here and hitch a ride…? Why’s it going so fast!?

“How long will you be able to maintain this speed?” Durandal asked, his voice coming from inside the carriage.

“Until we arrive at our destination,” Ilya’s dad said. “They’re simple eighth circle speed boosting spells.”

Gah! Don’t mess with me! Faster legs, faster! If this much qi can’t keep up with a stupid carriage, then I’ll put all my qi into one foot at a time. But constantly switching is tiring.

“If you don’t keep up, I’ll toss out more chocolate,” Durandal said, his head popping out of the window again. I was very tempted to throw mini-DalDal at him, but I had to concentrate on shifting my qi. “Oh, you’re getting the hang of it. Good job.” That’s right, praise me! And let me back onto the carriage while you’re at it. “Can you make the carriage go any faster?”

“She’s keeping up?” Ilya’s dad asked and popped his head out of the window as well. He flinched and slipped back into the carriage when I met his eyes. “Yeah, I can make it go faster.”

“Don’t you dare!” This is almost my limit! Why did I throw away my haste dress? Right, because Ilya could cast hast. “Ilya! Buff me!”

Ilya’s head popped out of the carriage. A second later, she yelped as she was pulled back inside by Durandal. “Sorry, Lucia!”

A green light covered the carriage, and it sped up even more. Stop doing that! I’m really going to be left behind at this rate. How do I increase my speed? Think, Lucia, think. Aha! Speed is relative. To increase my speed, I just have to decrease theirs! Alright, mini-DalDal, let’s do this. “Breaking—”

“Hot chocolate shield!” Durandal shouted and placed three barrels of hot chocolate on the carriage’s rear.

…Drat. Then I’ll destroy the road! “Breaking Blade!” A beam of red light flew out of my sword, creating a massive fissure that ran diagonally across the carriage’s path. The horses neighed and stopped…? Why aren’t they stopping!? Steam puffed out of their nostrils as they charged forwards and walked on air, easily passing over the fissure I created. The carriage rolled along as if the road was completely flat. That’s not fair! I was the one who complained about the bumpy carriage ride, and now that I’m gone, the carriage isn’t bumping anymore? Like I thought, there is no god.

“At the pace we’re going, we’ll only need a few hours before we arrive,” Ilya’s dad said from within the carriage. “I believe in you, Lucia.”

Wait! I’ll really be left behind! And I have no sense of direction; what if I get lost!? Ah, I’m speeding up? “P-Puppers?”

From my socks, Puppers let out a sigh. “Apparently, I’m the only one who thinks it’s a stupid idea to antagonize a divine warrior. And you’re my master after all; I have to help you.”

…Maybe I’ve treated Puppers too poorly in the past. He’s a good person. In my time of need, he’s the only one who offered a hand. Well, Ilya tried, but Durandal blocked her. “I’ve wronged you, Puppers.”

“If you really felt that way, you would call me by my actual name, Gae Bulg,” Puppers said. “Don’t I deserve at least some respect for being a divine warrior?”

“Mm, but Gae Bulg was a spear spirit. It’d be too confusing to call you that.” People would definitely look at me strangely if I had the prince’s, err, rare special monkey’s weapon spirit. “You’re a sock spirit now. New spirits should get new names, yeah? How about Mr. Puppers? I’m willing to give you that.”

Puppers fell silent. “I think I’ll stick with Puppers,” he said after a while. Well, I tried.