What’s this? Where am I? I was eating a fish…, and then … I’m here? Where is here anyway? Wait, where am I? I don’t have a body! The world became red and empty…. Am I dead? Were the slaughter fish poisoned? Was it Mrs. Feathers? Mm, I don’t think Mrs. Feathers would poison me. Besides, I have the Immortal Poison Body! Or something like that. I forget its name, but Durandal fed me to snakes to train it, so I know I have it.

Welcome.

Eh!? Who’s there? Hello? Can you hear me?

Yes.

I’m lost. Help.

…Right now, we’re inside your dantian.

Dantian…. Durandal’s said this word to me a few times…. And I’m pretty sure it was part of a few cultivation techniques too. Oh! It’s my womb. Right. Wait. I’m inside myself? I wanted children, but not like this!

…I’m the Slaughter God.

…Am I going to give birth to you?

I sincerely hope not.

Wait, I still have other problems. Like—

I’m sure you do.

—why are…? Hmm? I’m sure you do? What’s that supposed to mean, huh!?

It means exactly what it sounds like. I’m sure you have many, many problems. But we’re not here to discuss those. The fact that my—

Why aren’t we going to discuss them!? You’re the one with problems! We’re inside of me! We should be talking about me! First of all, how do I get out of myself? Second of all, why am I inside of myself? Third of all, how am I inside of myself? Until I get answers to those extremely important questions, we’re not talking about anything else! Got it?

…We’re here, in your dantian, because you ate a slaughter fish containing a portion of my will. You are not physically inside of yourself; it’s your stream of consciousness that’s present. And to get out of yourself, you…, you’re not going to leave the instant I tell you, are you?

How did he know!? Wait, could he hear that? Uh, nope! I’m not going to leave instantly once you tell me how. Mhm. Definitely, definitely not.

Truly…?

Uh-huh! Of course!

You leave by withdrawing your stream of consciousness. Simply think about leaving and you’ll be able to exit.

Okay. One. Two. I want to leave!

Phew! “I’m out!” That was such a weird experience. Having no limbs is completely unnatural. Mhm. Eh? Don’t I care about what that person inside of me wanted? Nope! This is the Slaughter God’s Tomb. And tomb means dead. The Slaughter God is dead, and that person who invaded me claimed to be the Slaughter God? He’s obviously lying! And one can’t listen to the words of a liar. Well, I suppose I could, but that would make me dumb, and I’m too smart to be dumb. Okay, I’ll finish eating the rest of these fish.

Didn’t you say you weren’t going to—

I want to leave! Eight more fish to go. Maybe if I feed them to Treasure Finder first, he’ll be too distracted by her. “Here! Eat!” And the barkeep wanted my help too. Along with his family. “You too. Eat these and give some to your buddies.” Great, now that more people are eating, I should be able to eat without being dragged into myself!

Wait! Don’t leave! You—

I want to leave! Jeez, he’s awfully persistent. Just seven more.

You lied! You said—

I want to leave! Six more to go.

—said you wouldn’t instantly leave!

I didn’t lie. I waited two seconds. I want to leave! That’s right. I didn’t lie. As a good person, I keep my word. Mhm. Maybe if I eat the next six in one bite, I’ll only be there one more time. Why didn’t I think of that earlier? The liar must’ve been messing with my mind to fool me.

Stay!

I want to leave! …Eh? It didn’t work? How come!?

If I explained it to you, you’ll leave again, so I won’t. Listen to me, thee who inherit my will.

The what who did your will?

Thee. Do…, do you not know what that word means? No, forget that, you should’ve been able to figure it out through the context! What’s wrong with you? Why are you like this?

…Wow. Even a liar is bullying me. I bet he read my memories to repeat what Ilya said to me!

Who are you calling a liar!? Have I not told you the truth this whole time? You’re the one who broke my trust in the first place! If I were still alive, I’d have cut your head off and drank your blood just to spit it out! I wish for you to accept my inheritance, yet you try to avoid me!? For eight hundred years, I’ve rejected countless numbers of people! Why did you even come to my tomb?

For the treasures! And this annoying voice in my head kept pestering me to come here. But I’m mostly here for the treasures! Err, I mean. I’m here to pay my respects to the dead….

…

No! Why are you interrogating me? I should be interrogating you! What kind of greedy bastard puts traps and stuff inside of his tomb!? You’re already dead! Just let us living people have your stuff, jeez. It’s not like you can even use it anyway. Hoarding things even after you die, how selfish are you? Hmph.

B-but everyone does that…. When you die, don’t you want a qualified successor to inherit your items, your skills, your cultivation technique?

No! That’s what children are for. And I’m going to have thousands of them! Why would I need a stranger to inherit my stuff?

…

Oh, uh, by any chance, Mr. Lying Voice, were you a virgin?

No, I wasn’t! You—

Then why didn’t you give your stuff to your child after you died? I knew it! If you lied to me once, you’re definitely going to lie to me again!

Just…, just leave. Exit my tomb! There’s no way I’ll allow you to gain my inheritance!

But you’re dead; can you even stop me?

…Hello?

…Eh? It feels like I planted a heart devil just now.