“That’s odd.” Softie stared at her messenger. Then she slapped the top of it a few times. Her frown deepened. “I can’t seem to contact Sister Ilya. She sent me a message, but it was all jumbled up. Is my messenger broken?”

“She’s probably doing Ilya stuff like avoiding me.” Yeah, that’s something Ilya would do. Hmph. Ah, I can’t be too angry at her anymore. She got me so many nice things! Speaking of which…. “What’s the next good deed we’re doing?”

Softie sighed. “I’ll have to get this messenger fixed later,” she said and messed with the tablet in her hand. A wall of text appeared. “The next task is protecting an alchemist from the Spirit Bear Sect. Apparently, there’s been a group of people targeting alchemists in this region. All the sects have had their alchemists kidnapped except for the Spirit Bear Sect’s, and the sects made an agreement to protect the sole alchemist remaining. They hope someone can protect their alchemist and, if possible, apprehend the criminals and free the ones who were captured.”

Alchemists? Those are the pill makers, right? Mm, it makes sense why people would want to kidnap them. “Alright, let’s go to this Fresh Meat Sect!”

“Spirit Bear Sect.”

That’s what I said. “Right, to the Spirit Lunch Sect!”

Instead of growing larger, Mrs. Feathers turned towards Softie and whispered, “This is why I think she wants to eat me sometimes.”

Softie nodded. “I’m sure she does.”

…I’m not that hungry! It’s not like I just eat food all the time, jeez. I’ve been controlling myself! I’ve been showing so much self-control that I haven’t even had sex recently! Grr, damnit, Durandal! “How long are you going to hide in your sword!?”

Ah? Did I just hear Durandal clear his throat? I think I did! “Well, I was planning on exiting tomorrow, but after seeing you Soul Scour someone…. How about I show myself after you’ve perfected it?”

“What are you waiting for, Mrs. Feathers? Let’s go catch some bad guys to practice my Soul Scour on!” Ah. “I mean, let’s go save those spirit lunches!”

Mm, it didn’t take long for Mrs. Feathers to fly to the new spot. Luckily, it was the next county over. It still took a day, but I spent that day cultivating my Secret Phoenix Rebirth Technique! I was interrupted a few times by Softie when she came over to wash my feet with a cloth. Why was she washing my feet again…? I think she said she needed some of my impurities to cultivate since she was injured. Mm…? Wait. Is she still drinking my impurities? I’m … not going to think about it. Okay. “Mrs. Feathers, are we there yet?”

“We’re here, Boss,” Mrs. Feathers said. “I’m descending right now.”

Ooh, we usually aren’t there when I ask. It’s nice that Mrs. Feathers is on time for once. Mm, this sect is pretty small. The Rainbow Phoenix Sect was the largest one I’ve seen. Then there was the Shadow Devil Sect. This one is like the size of one of those random sects I had to pillage under the request of Softie’s granddad. The people are weak too, but there’s a lot of them, a lot more than should be here…. Oh, they’re probably the other sects who were robbed. My tail’s nice and limp; there’s no danger at all. Perfect!

“We greet the esteemed experts!” Once Mrs. Feathers landed, the crowd parted, leaving behind one person with gray hair. For some reason, he reminded me of a bear. Maybe it was because he was plump like one. Hmm, I wouldn’t want to eat him though. “We thank you for coming so soon after making the request! Please, help us. A sky-realm expert is leading the group that’s attacking our county’s alchemists!”

“Is it an evil cultivator?” Softie asked. “Are they solely targeting your alchemists?”

“We don’t know,” the bearlike man said. “Everyone who was with the alchemists were taken too. However, we suspect it has something to do with the group that’s selling the new alchemy stoves. Our sects refused to purchase them since we already had alchemists to fulfill all our pill needs. A little after we refused, our alchemists were attacked!”

“Alchemy stoves…,” Softie muttered.

Hmm? Did she know something? If she did, she’d probably tell me, but she hasn’t. Well, there’s only one thing to do! “Alright, which one of you is the alchemist we’re protecting?”

“It’s me,” a feminine voice said. The crowd parted, revealing someone completely covered with robes and cloaks with different patterns on them. When she walked, metal clanked. It seems like she’s taking her own protection very seriously.

“Mm, do they have a way to recognize you?”

“Yes. That’s why I’m dressed like this.”

“Alright, well, first, take everything off!” If she’s easily recognized, then that’s for the best. “Strip, strip, hurry up.” Ooh, these robes are crackly. They made my fingers tingle when I took them off. And this armor is pretty tough, but it tears too easily. Okay! I just need her to show her face. “Stop! I said everything, but don’t take off everything!”

“E-excuse me, esteemed expert,” the bearlike man said when I picked the woman up and lumped her over my shoulder. “May I ask what your intentions are?”

“I’m going to use her as bait to catch the people who want to catch her.” It’s a genius plan, isn’t it? I knew I was smart. “And once that’s done, I’ll beat them up and Soul Scour them!”

“S-Soul Scour?”

Eh? Did I say that out loud? “Mm, no, not Soul Scour. Soul, err…. I didn’t say Soul Scour, got it?”

“Old Bear, can we trust her?”

“I don’t think we have a choice….”

They’re whispering, but I can still hear them. Mm, I’m going to pretend I can’t. Could I always hear this well? It must be a side effect of using the Secret Phoenix Rebirth Technique. What if it’s making me part phoenix? I already have some weird fire inside of me…. Hmm. Well, it doesn’t matter! Stronger is stronger, and everyone knows birds are smarter than squirrels. If they weren’t, squirrels would be eating birds instead. Mhm.