Ilya ran away! But that’s not very important right now. I’m in pain, a lot of pain! This is Durandal’s tribulation, so why am I fighting it for him!? “Durandal! I know you’re better! Come out right this instant!”

Kaboom!

Hmph! I’ve been hit by so many lightning bolts before in my life. Mm, it’s a bit embarrassing to put it that way, but I have! I’m really good at being abused by lightning. There really isn’t any trick to it. No matter what I put between the lightning bolt and me, it always seems to get through. There was that one golden pillar, but it was destroyed, and Ilya hasn’t made me a new one…. Anyway, the secret to taking repeated hits from lightning is to be hit repeatedly until it stops!

Bang!

Yep. I wish there was a less painful way, but there isn’t. This should be Durandal’s immortal tribulation, which means he’s an immortal now, but I think he’s not quite fixed. If Durandal were perfectly healthy, he’d be fighting this tribulation. He likes challenging himself like some kind of masochist. Since he’s not out here, there’s only one logical conclusion: the blacksmith lied! Putting his spirit seed in an immortal-ranked weapon didn’t cure him at all!

Ba-boom!

As soon as I’m done with this tribulation, I’m going to find that blacksmith; then, I’m going to find Ilya! She was supposed to suffer through this tribulation with me, but she ran away and left behind an arm! What am I supposed to do with an arm? I’m not like Ilya: I can’t turn this into jelly. Uh, actually, I can turn it into jelly…, but that’s gross! I’m not going to eat a person! Mm, I’ll store her arm in my interspacial ring for now, and whenever she makes me mad, I can slap her with it. That’s the best use I can think of for it.

Crash!

Ugh. That one almost knocked me over! How many lightning bolts is Durandal going to attract? I lost count of how many I had to take, but Durandal should definitely have more than me, right? He’s a mean bully, and he loves making me, a good person, feel bad! I think the average immortal gets struck by lightning nine times…. Mm, I’ll count the number of marks on my body left behind by the lightning bolts. They leave these little wriggly patterns on my skin, and then they disappear. Uh…, I only see one…. I think I healed too fast. Ah, whatever! The tribulation will end when it ends.

Boom!

Ah, I used to be terrified of these tribulations. Mm, my tail stiffened a lot when it first approached, but it deflated a lot after the first lightning bolt. Since my tail is confident in there being no danger, then there must be no danger. It’s actually kind of nice. The tribulation clouds are blocking out the whole sky, and that includes that stupid fucking door! I forgot what it was like to not be blinded by a bright light every second of every day. I should hire a bunch of commoners and force them to become saints; that way, they’ll go through their tribulations, and their clouds will block out the light! If I gather a whole bunch of them, I can have a tribulation going every minute of every night. I’ll finally be able to sleep on my back and sides again! It was getting a little tiring sleeping on my tummy. Mm, the details are a hassle to work out, but I’m sure Ilya can handle it with her superpowered brain.

Krakow!

Gah! That blew up my robe! I forgot this stupid tribulation does that. I need a way to protect my stuff…. My robes were blown up by lightning. My life pouch and interspacial rings were melted by an immortal. I always thought the safest place to keep my stuff would be on myself because I’m the strongest person in the world, but clearly, I was wrong! My stuff keeps getting destroyed even when it’s on me! Do I bury them to keep them safe? Hmm…. If only there were some kind of treasure storage room I could use…. Ah, well, whatever. I don’t think I can find one of those that’re safer than my body. What if I protect my stuff with my qi? My Armor of Slaughter already automatically protects me with my qi, but it’s too weak to stop the lightning. Alright, that settles it, I need a new defensive technique!

Kabang!

Ouch! Hmm, how does the tribulation defend itself? It’s a bunch of clouds, so it can’t really be hurt in the first place. Could I turn my body into a bunch of clouds? No, if I did that, my clothes, rings, and life pouch would fall off of me. It might be a good form of defense, but it’s pointless if I lose my stuff! How does Ilya defend herself? Uh, she places down formations, and I can’t do that. Nope. There’s no way I can learn. There are so many things needed per formation that I can’t even count how many there are! Mm, how did that furry man defend himself? I don’t really think he did. Baldie attacked him once, and he died just like that.

Crack!

Why don’t I know anyone with strong defensive techniques? Even the people who supposedly had strong defensive techniques were easily defeated by a Breaking Hammer Strike. Maybe I’ll rummage through Baldie’s brain, see if there’s any useful technique in there. I probably won’t find anything; her defenses are very weak too. Ah, this sucks. Maybe I can come up with my own defensive technique? Usually, there’s always people I can steal ideas, err, get inspiration from, but this time, the only one I can rely on is myself! Even the light is agreeing with me! Huh? The light? What the heck? The tribulation is over already!? Durandal’s eviler than I am, so how come his tribulation is shorter than mine!?