I sprinted through the forest, my panicked breaths coming quickly. My foot caught on a root and I tumbled forward, crashing into a shallow creek. A sharp rock cut my elbow, and I lost a few hitpoints.

Can’t worry about that right now. Not when that thing is chasing me!

A thunderous rumble shook the ground, nearly knocking me off my feet. My eyes darted everywhere, searching for somewhere safe to hide.

This thing is going to kill me! It’s actually going to kill me!

I pushed through thick leaves, doing my best to escape the monstrosity that I could hear tearing trees from the ground as it pounded after me. Then I saw a flash of light out of the corner of my eye.

Wait! Yes! That works!

I stumbled toward the dark hole in the side of the hill. This thing couldn’t possibly follow me there, right? It looked deep. The light I’d seen was coming from somewhere deep inside, but anything was better than turning to face my pursuer. Even a glance was enough to make me wet my pants. My… skin pants. My pants made of skin? You know, the scaly skin I happen to have even though it’s contradictory to what experts believe dinosaurs looked like now? The pants? The, uh… Oh forget it.

I pissed myself when I looked at it. Yeah… That’s, uh… that’s the expression.

A scream of frustration shook the cave as I ran ever further into the darkness, chasing after that dancing light at the end of the tunnel. If I had time, I would’ve stopped to sigh in relief.

My judgment was right. It couldn’t get me here. Thankfully.

There was some mercy bestowed upon me from on high.

I slowed down, the panic I’d felt subsiding as I took deep breaths to calm myself. The creature that had been chasing me clearly couldn’t get me here, and I needed to relax in order to keep alert in this new mysterious place.

Obviously, I couldn’t just go back the way I came. So the only choice was to go forward into the light.

I squinted as I pushed further into the cave, the light becoming brighter and nullifying my night vision. The only thing I could see was that there was a room up ahead, and the light was coming from there.

Another few tentative steps took me through the opening, and into a world of dancing light. As though the floor was water, waves of light rippled on the ceiling. Long, flat, silver crystals grew from every empty space on the cavern floor. A small path of untouched ground passed between the gems, covered in black sand.

Wow… How beautiful… This kind of place would’ve been destroyed for profit back on Earth…

I walked further into the room, appreciating the feeling of the sand between my talons, and approached a crystal. As I stepped up toward the gem that seemed to radiate light, I noticed that the surface was a perfect reflection.

Before me stood, well, me! I turned my head to see a few different angles, but the image suddenly rippled.

I jumped back in alarm, focusing intently on the crystal. My reflection had vanished. The rippling had stopped.

Visugema

You enter a room full of dancing light. It’s as though the floor is water. Waves of light ripple across the ceiling, and long, flat, silver crystals grow from every empty space on the cavern floor. A small path of undisturbed black sand passes between the gems.

What do you do?

Uh… What?

Visugema

You walk further into the room, appreciating the feeling of the black sand between your talons and approach a crystal. As you step up toward the gem that seems to radiate light, you notice that the surface is a perfect reflection of… well, you! As you admire your totally-not-slightly-chubby-body, the image suddenly ripples.

What do you do?

MAGIC BOXES! WHAT IS GOING ON!

Why did observing the crystals make it feel like I was playing a text-based game all of a sudden? I pondered for a moment.

Well… Might as well play along?

I jump back in alarm.

…

Nothing.

Maybe I had to observe the crystal again?

Visugema

You jump back in alarm, focusing intently on the crystal. Your reflection has vanished. The rippling has stopped. You observe the crystal, and a message appears. It details what you’ve just done, and asks what you want to do. You play the game. Screaming in alarm inside your head for some reason, you attempt to reason with the messages. Nothing happens. When you observe the crystal again, an—ERROR!

ERROR!

ERROR!

RECURSION DETECTED!

RESOLVING…

I stood in silence for a moment before another message appeared.

Visugema

You stand in the cave.

What do you do?

I… approach the crystal? I didn’t, merely standing there to see what would happen.

Visugema

You stand in the cave, lying to yourself.

What do you do?

Hey!

So I actually had to undertake the action for this… visugema, whatever that was, to update. I stepped back up to the crystal, examining it as my reflection appeared again.

Visugema

You approach the reflective crystal again. An image appears. It’s you! Again! It’s almost like that’s how reflective surfaces… Wait… Is it… rippling again? It is! Maybe you’re on to something.

Thanks…

Visugema

The image flickers, morphing into something else. Suddenly, you realize.

Wait! That’s a Baby Nightstalker!

Visugema

“Wait! That’s a Baby Nightstalker!” But it’s dead. And, through the clearly author-planted clue inside the Visugema message, you realize that this reflection is an alternative you. It is what you might’ve looked like had you made a different decision in your new life.

What do you do?

Oh. So the dead Baby Nightstalker was what I would’ve looked like if I had chosen the Baby Turco option back when I was trapped inside the Giant Tree Worm?

Makes sense. I guess I would’ve died to Sailboat if I’d chosen that option?

The crystal was fascinating. But this was only one of the smaller ones in the room. What would happen if I looked into one of the bigger ones?

I did just that.

Visugema

You approach one of the larger crystals, because 0.1: Size Matters! As you gaze into the crystal, your reflection doesn’t seem to disappear. Instead, nothing happens for a moment. Then, suddenly, a massive mouth, larger than the crystal itself, crunches down around your reflective body. You flinch. A huge yellow eye, slitted like a snake’s, looks through the crystal at you. A deep rumble shakes the crystal, and a crack forms. Through the mystical power of SavageMercy, you realize (in fear), that this bone-plated serpent is what you would’ve turned into if you’d chosen to become a Baby Grancher. The crack widens, and it almost seems as though this serpentine beast grins. You stumble backward, watching as the monster vanishes.

What do you do?

That was a close one! Could that thing break through? And who the hell is SavageMercy?

I walked up to another of the crystals. This time, the alert notified me that the scrawny creature that seemed starved for food is how I would’ve turned out if I had chosen to become a Baby Inocu.

I walked through the cavern, seeing the various forms of what I could’ve been. Some dinosaurs were huge and powerful, while others were small and weak, dead, or even herbivores. I was approaching another opening in the cave when I walked past a large orange crystal.

Wait, orange?

Glancing into the amber-colored crystal, I noticed that my reflection wasn’t present. Instead, I saw another dinosaur walk by. Then, it glanced back at me, turning around and approaching.

Wow… You’re an ugly one, huh? Hey! Is that a gorlen on his back?

It was! The creature rode on the back of the dinosaur proudly, completely trusting the disgusting perversion of nature, as though the thing wouldn’t eat it once it got hungry.

This dinosaur was tall, its skinny legs leading down to two-toed feet with huge sickles for talons, giving it most of its height. He had broad shoulders, causing its arms to hang further away from the body.

Speaking of which, its arms were just… wrong. One was longer than the other, and had three talons on the end of it, while the other looked much like my own arm. And that longer one? It had a thumb.

...

Only one hand had a thumb!!!

Its head looked like a mature dinosaur somebody had designed to look cool had been smashed onto the jaw of a Baby Dino template… The teeth stuck out of the maw, as though they were too big for the mishapen mouth. Its tail and baby arm were tan, while the rest of its body was black, with specks of red. The colors sort of blended together, though, so it wasn’t as bad as it could be. The only weird spot was the face, which seemed to be a combination of the two patterns, and gave it a weird striped look.

So...

I’m calling you Franken’s Dino…

That’s how disturbing it was to look at.

What mistake did I have to make to turn into this thing?

I observed the crystal, slightly apprehensive at what I would discover.

Visugema

Ahh! You choose to examine the amber-colored crystal, which shows a tale that has been told. One where the author didn’t like the decisions they felt forced to make, and deeply regretted them. By the power of the author, you realize that this is actually the original path you walked.

Yes. You regret it. But you don’t even remember it.

Here's what you do. Move along.

I shook my head, feeling compelled to head through the exit at the end of the cave. I turned to do so, and the other version of myself put a hand to the mirror, watching sadly as I wandered away. The light behind me seemed to fade, and I heard voices echo in the darkness around me.

“I already know what I want,” a familiar voice said confidently.

“Oh?” Another responded inquisitively, though I couldn’t describe it. The voice was just that kind of ambiguous. But I could tell he was male. He continued, “And what’s that?”

“Mega Schlong,” the familiar voice responded. “And make it big.”

The scene faded away, and I heard a woman’s voice gasp, “Did you see the size?”

“Yes!” Another girl responded. “But you have to stay professional around your superiors, Mila! But yes I saw it…”

White noise seemed to flood the darkness of the cave. I looked around, trying to find the voices. Suddenly, the darkness disappeared. I stumbled into a room with a couple of throw pillows on the floor before a low table.

“What the hell?!” I asked.

Wait… Did I say that out loud?

“Testing, testing… One, two, three! It works! I can speak again!”

My excitement only grew as I saw a door suddenly appear, open, and push a familiar face through. The guy stumbled into the room, dressed in some sort of futuristic imperial guard armor, and looked around confused. None of this made any sense to me, but it didn't matter. I never thought I'd see this guy's face again.

“Where the hell am I?” he asked, turning back to the door which had vanished. My smile grew wider. “And why the hell is there a dinosaur in here? Not cool, guys!”

I spoke up, the sound of my voice halting his complaints. “Hey there, Aaron. Been a while.”

SchlongLord's face went white as he realized who I was.

"Is that you, [REDACTED]?"