《Gamer's Guide to Waking up as a Dinosaur》SPECIAL: All Dinos' Eve
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“Why am I doing this,” Grenzer asks, looking down at the outfit he’d been made to wear. “Isn’t this a bit ridiculous?”
The warrior had been squeezed into a red outfit lined with some puffy white material. An uncomfortable pair of black boots covered his feet, and a matching black belt held the pillows to his stomach, concealed within the coat. To top it all off, though, a long hat hung off his head, a puffball made from the white material attached to the end and bouncing everywhere.
“Because SavageMercy said so,” was Shella’s simple response. She was dressed as a Saurian—specifically Karavos, the feathery titan that brought ruin to villages all over Ghindo—something her boss didn’t appreciate. He’d commented on it, but nothing the knight said seemed to change her mind.
Grenzer groaned. Her response was an argument he could do nothing against.
“That damned wizard. Must I be dressed so foolishly?”
“Yes.”
“Fine.”
It was a discussion that had been had several times since the local wizard had dropped the news. Today was “All Dinos’ Eve”, whatever that meant, and “all characters must participate”.
So here he was, dressed in a costume he didn’t understand and required to respond to any Saurian that came by saying a magic phrase. Apparently, Saurians could incant now.
“It’s okay, Ki Grenzer!” Barlan consoled him. He was dressed as a human skeleton, paint giving his face the appearance of a skull. “I, for one, look forward to seeing Saurians that don’t want to kill me on sight, for a change!”
“If you believe the stories…” Grenzer muttered.
According to SavageMercy—the hermit wizard Grenzer had never met in person before—once per year, flocks of Saurians would stop killing each other, gaining the ability to speak and traveling around their homes in search of people willingly participating in this “All Dinos’ Eve” event.
In addition, apparently, the humans who participated would earn safe passage to anywhere in the known world, provided they could name the location. Saurians would part for them to allow them through. And this meant that Grenzer and his two squires, Barlan and Shella, could retrieve something sacred to their people.
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So there was no time to mess around. The three of them would entertain any Saurian that said the magic words.
“Trick or treat!” I called happily, sighing at finally being able to speak again, despite how temporary it was. The nature spirit smiled at me, his body a mass of dense fog.
[And what are you two tonight?] he asked, dropping some hard candied fruit into the hollowed out gourds Frieda had made for us.
“I’m a robot dinosaur, and Frieda’s my scientist partner!”
It was true. With her dextrous hands, my little gorlen friend had crafted us the best prehistoric Halloween costumes I’d ever seen. She’d taken pieces of wood that had broken off of trees during a storm and attached them together using vines for me, giving me a more polygonal appearance. And for herself, natural dyes painted the cloak she’d woven out of reeds to give herself the appearance of a lab coat. And she rode on my back.
[And what about your friend there?] the nature spirit inquired with a wide smile, pointing to the third guy behind us.
“Oh, uh… Well, he’s Godzilla. We couldn’t really make anything in time for Rex.”
“It’s not their fault,” the titan boomed. “They didn’t know All Dinos’ Eve was coming up. Plus, I am quite a large Saurian.”
[You’re not wrong about that, friend!] the spirit called, waving a hand. At his motion, a hand made of roots emerged from the ground, holding a giant candied fruit in its grip. [Fortunately, I’ve prepared for fellows like yourself this year!]
With a flick of his wrist, the plant hand threw the fruit upwards. Rex moved faster than I could see, snatching the treat out of the air smoothly.
“Thanks! Trick or treat!” was my titanic acquaintance’s cheery response.
Before today, I’d never expected the guy to have such a friendly disposition. Maybe it was the magic that made it all possible. Every dino I’d run into today had been friendly, even Sailboat and his army of Deotrexaptors hadn’t tried to kill me!
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What was funny was that they were all dressed as him. Each xaptor had somehow gotten sails made of reeds attached to their backs and were walking around with aggressive stomping motions like they were his size. The spinosaurus just watched on with amusement. Apparently he’d also had difficulty obtaining a costume for himself.
My trio moved on, waving our farewells to the friendly nature spirit and approaching the edge of the forest. According to Rex, there was a really special surprise awaiting us.
“Trick or treat!” the three of us shouted as we broke through the treeline.
My eyes went wide and I stopped in my tracks.
Ki Grenzer and his squires stood behind a makeshift stall, passing out what I would now consider to be delicacies to each dinosaur that stood in the line, waiting their turn.
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOOK AT THEM!” I shouted, joining Frieda’s wild cackling. Rex chuckled, and the ground shook.
Super Saiyan Santa Slice was fittingly dressed in the most terrible Santa costume I’d ever seen! The girl—Shella, if I remembered correctly—was clearly dressed as some sort of dinosaur, but it wasn’t one I recognized. It just made her look like she was wearing a giant chicken outfit. And Barlan, her comrade, was dressed up as a human skeleton. His costume actually wasn’t bad. But then, it’s not that hard to pull off, after all.
Grenzer growled something when he saw us come out of the woods and his knuckles turned as white as the fluffy ball on his hat. Shella waved, and Barlan just looked confused. I guess he didn’t remember me as well as the other two clearly did.
When we got to the front of the line, the three idiots gave us the best treats yet. Baked potatoes with some sort of steak covered in sauce, skewers of meats and cheeses, and even something that seemed like it was trying to be a tray of cookies.
It was by far the most delicious meal I’d had yet.
“Thank you,” I sighed happily, patting my full tummy. I hadn’t gained any experience from the food, but that was okay. The meal itself was enough.
“As soon as this day is over,” a deep voice growled from behind me. “I’m going to hunt you two down and drag that gorlen back home. By the pelt if I have to.”
I turned, finding myself face-to-face with Santa himself. Then I smiled.
“Oh yeah? Well tonight I feel safe. Because tonight, you have to deal with him.”
I pointed over his shoulder, and when Grenzer turned around, two rows of teeth the size of his body greeted him. A savage growl shot hot breath into his face, blowing off his hat. And I’m pretty sure I heard him whimper.
Godzilla roared, the deafening sound sending some surrounding dinos fleeing even though they were safe today.
A whip-crack accompanied his tail’s arrival.
And, without his reindeer pulling his sleigh, Santa flew. Out over the crowds of dinosaurs. Out into the sky. His trajectory arched as he passed over his own stall, and Shella and Barlan gasped.
Then, with a colossal splash, he bellyflopped into the watering hole.
Needless to say, I wasn’t the only creature rolling on their back laughing after that. Even the human squires couldn’t hold back.
With the mood-killer removed, the rest of the night was a party unlike any other I’d ever seen.
And just as the sun began to rise, we all called out our final words, a chorus of “Happy All Dinos’ Eve!”
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