Colonel Caron steeled himself as he entered the meeting. This wasn’t going to go over well at all.

“Good morning,” he said to the assembled officers.

“Let’s get this over with,” General Gregs said impatiently.

“Yessir,” Caron replied as he opened the gun case he brought along and produced a Harbinger assault rifle.

“It doesn’t look like much,” the general said looking at the weapon with disdain.

“This is the Harbinger assault rifle, currently in production by the Juon Empire.”

“I know what it is. Why are you wasting our time bringing it in here?”

“Because we need to look at this. The Empire, during the Great War recognized the advantages of our projectile weaponry and started to use and adapt our current armament to better suit themselves and this is the ultimate result of their efforts.”

“Again, we know what the thing is. Why did you drag it in here?”

“Because it is superior to our current AK-47D in many respects.”

“Nonsense. We are projectile technology. There is no way that those wigglies can make anything better.”

Caron sighed. It was going about as well as he expected. Actually it was going a little bit better.

“If you would review the information that I submitted for-”

“We don’t need to review the information. That… thing is not suitable for Terran service.”

“This thing is more accurate, lighter, has better recoil, has truly innovative optics, is much more easily adapted to fit other species’ physiology, more durable, and more reliable in a wide range of environments.”

“More reliable? Hogwash. The Kalashnikov has been in service for more than a thousand years. Tell me about that thing’s reliability in a few centuries.”

“That is precisely the point, General,” the colonel said calmly, “We are using twentieth century technology in the thirty-second. Our line of AK’s are incredible to be sure but woefully behind the times. This,” he said hefting the Harbinger, “is a truly modern interpretation of the gunpowder projectile weapon concept. It fully utilizes current materials technology and design to produce a weapon that makes our AK’s look like the thousand year old relics that they are.”

“If it is so wonderful then why is it chambered for 7.62 and designed around our magazines?”

“(Sigh) Sir, that was a purely logistical decision and you know it. During the Great War we were producing mountains of 7.62 and it made perfect sense for them to produce a weapon that could use it. I predict that they will in time abandon the 7.62 for another caliber as we are already beginning to discuss ourselves. The currently produced Harbingers have already abandoned our magazines because they were identified as the main source of failures. Their weapon is more reliable than our magazines, people.”

“How would it look if we dropped our AK, the symbol of the Terran Republic, over some… wigglie garbage?”

“Are you suggesting that we continue to cling to an outdated design purely for the sake of appearances?” Colonel Caron said failing to conceal his irritation. “How would it look if we are surpassed in projectile weapon design by the Empire? That’s already happening. Not only are they producing the Harbinger they also have perfected gyrojet ammunition and have a sniper rifle that threatens our .50 BMG’s. We are in danger of being completely outclassed by the Empire if we haven’t been already.”

“Their rocket-slugs are nice, Horace.” General Ashton said to General Gregs.

“I know they are, Marge,” General Gregs replied. “But gyrojets are too inaccurate and bulky for regular service.”

“Our gyrojets are too inaccurate, General,” Caron said bracing himself, “The Imperial gyrojet slugs are very accurate and reliably so. In fact more than one special forces unit has unofficially obtained them and-”

“Which ones?!?” General Gregs snapped. “Which of our special forces units are carrying wigglie garbage?”

“I don’t think I want to answer that here but gyrojet weapons especially gyrojet sniper rifles are hidden in more than one armory as we speak.”

“That’s bullshit!”

“Sir, I am willing to bet you lunch that if you did a surprise raid of special forces armories you would find more than one of them and I also am willing to bet you dinner that you wouldn’t be able to confiscate them without a fight. The Imperial Keralx sniper gyrojet is one of the most amazing weapons I have ever fired. I am not a sniper and with one of those even I was able to hit targets at 700 meters.”

“700 meters isn’t impressive for a sniper rifle.”

“(Sigh) General, you are being intentionally obtuse. I said I wasn’t a sniper and just picking it up and sighting it in, which was a fully automated process that took seconds by the way, I was reaching out and sending love letters at that range instantly. Our snipers that have used them love them.”

“How are they even getting them?”

“Well,” Caron smiled, “coconuts and um… other things.”

“They are trading Republic military hardware aren’t they?” the general snarled.

“I wouldn’t know for certain, General,” the colonel said looking away with a smile, “but during the war there were a lot of contact between our special forces and theirs and despite their current advances there are still many things that the Juon absolutely love and would happily trade for, white phosphorous grenades for example. I also think that the Empire just loves having projectile weapons that we would lust after and are more than happy to give us a taste. I’m pretty sure that the trades and in some cases outright gifts are at least secretly approved at the highest levels. Rumor has it that the Cyan Empress herself is absolutely tickled at the current turn of events. I received this gift directly from the Imperial armory.”

“Ok. So it looks good on paper but it has not seen a lot of active service. They only started to appear in the last days of the Great War. They need to be baptized in fire before I would begin to take them seriously.”

“Are you familiar with the attempt on the ambassador to the Federation’s life recently?” the colonel asked. “It was thwarted by someone with a Harbinger and the performance of the weapon was very impressive. In the reports in front of you is an account of the incident and what the driver and one of the Harbingers was capable of.”

“The ‘driver’ was a retired decorated Terran Marine with years of actual combat experience. I think that might have more to do with it than some Juon pop-gun.”

“Yes, but that marine obtained a Harbinger based on his individual assessment and he does give credit to the weapon’s built in optics package for being able to detect the target with a wide angle scope/scanner combo and then instantly zoom in to make well placed very accurate shots at impressive range. That’s a Kalesh with years of real combat experience making that assessment. I had the pleasure of interviewing him when he was here on Terra getting a prosthetic eye installed and he gave this weapon glowing praise. In fact, he had certain enhancements made to his eye so that it would better interface with the Harbinger’s optics and electronics.”

“Yeah, I don’t trust all of those fancy optics and electronics,” the general grumbled. “Too much can go wrong. Just drop one of those fancy toys one time and crunch.”

“The Harbinger can be dropped over ten meters onto a hard surface with nothing other than cosmetic damage and the optics will auto align… Oh, and it won’t discharge by accident either.”

General Gregs just made an unhappy face and remained silent.

“Look, General,” the colonel said with a smile, “why don’t you just take this one out to the range, put a few magazines through her, see what you think? There certainly isn’t any harm in it is there?”

“Yeah, ok. We’ll see just how great this wigglie shit really is.”

***

The following morning General Gregs went to the firing range with a certain piece of wigglie garbage in tow.

He fired round after round through the weapon even going as far as to run through a tactical course. He also put that alleged ten meter drop tolerance to the test (He might have also exceeded it out of annoyance.)

Around lunchtime he looked down at the piece of "garbage" in his hands and then looked skyward.

“Goddammit!” he yelled.