The Shiv Goblin Cometh

Chapter 39

“Alright, I’m going to summon a few more skeletons and make similar changes. I’d appreciate it if you stuck around to help with introductions, but you can explore the rest of the dungeon if you’d rather not,” I offered. There weren’t a lot of lava hound-free places to explore but he might enjoy getting to move around.

“I-I’ll stay, Mi-Mistress,” Henry said, tone sounding a little grave before he bowed to me. I almost reiterated the lack of need for formality, but decided to let it pass. It might be more comfortable for him and I could deal with it later if it turned out to be something else.

“Thank you,” I said simply before opening my shop. To my surprise, a new entry had appeared next to the normal skeletons. Azure Flame Fighter the entry read, showing a default with the cosmetic and settings changes but without a class specialization. I was happy to see that I wouldn’t have to change every single skeleton individually.

More pleasantly I noted that the default on the Elemental Hounds had changed to reflect my respawn preference. I’d still need to check it on other monsters but it was encouraging to see that change was now permanent for them and any of their kind I’d summoned in the future.

I picked a thief and a mage to start the next round of alterations. They both appeared in a similar state to Henry when he first arrived. Shambling and awkward until something seemed to click. The thief was the one who spun around to look at me first. He had the air of an unamused cat about him.

“Hello, I’m 42, your dungeon master. I’m going to be editing your classes and appearances to fit with the boss encounter you're going to be a part of. Henry here was the first one I did this for, you’ll be getting similar upgrades,” I said to the unaltered skeletons standing before me.

“Would anyone like to volunteer?” I asked and received no response.

“It doesn't hurt or anything,” I added. I’d asked Henry for his cooperation properly when I wasn’t sure about that. Now that I knew it wouldn’t do any harm I’d been less solicitous. Maybe that was a mistake.

“I’ll go,” the thief said, crossing his arms over his chest. I felt like he’d have rolled his eyes if he had any.

“Okay, let's start with a name. Do you want to pick it or should I?” I asked, seeing he lacked a name like Henry had. Skeleton 2 wouldn’t do any more than Skeleton 1 would as a moniker.

“Whatever waters the garden,” Skeleton 2 replied. If it weren’t for a brief blaze in Henry’s eyes and a clenched fist, I wouldn’t have caught on to what that probably meant. I glanced at Skeleton 2’s stats and found that he had been sixteen when he died.

I put a placating hand on Henry’s arm and shook my head slightly. He backed off, but looked the other skeleton in the eye sockets hard. I got the distinct feeling that the garden metaphor was mechanically the same but ruder than my world’s ‘float your boat’.

“Christopher Truman Phalanges it is then,” I said, ignoring the implication of his earlier statement. At sixteen, he was probably going to be a moody asshat most of the time and I decided to just accept that. I felt something like, but not quite, sympathy as I considered his situation.

The idea of being stuck at sixteen potentially forever was shudder-inducing. I couldn’t remember being a teenager, or human for that matter. I still understood it was one of the most unstable developmental periods emotionally, despite that. Everything was raw, immediate, and IMPORTANT even if it was bullshit. Probably especially if it was bullshit.

“Class preference? You can pick bard, wizard-”

“Rogue!” Christopher shouted excitedly. I nodded like I hadn’t expected that, but accepted it. He had kind of a rough and shady bend to his manners even without being a thief. I felt like he’d probably been a street kid. It would make sense he’d want to stick to what he was familiar with.

“You can choose a specialization if you want,” I added. I was getting a prankster vibe off of him.

“Assassin!” Christopher replied, with the same level of joy a kid would after getting a present. I paused in shock. That was not what I’d been expecting. It felt weird to hear something like that come out of what was a child's mouth.

I wanted to say no, but fought down the urge. I’d already said he could pick. Taking that back just because I was uncomfortable would only damage our very new relationship.

“Are… Okay, assassin it is,” I said finally. I didn’t like it, but I got the same feeling from Christopher as I did Henry. The choice mattered to them.

“Seriously, just like that?” Christopher asked. He clearly didn’t believe I’d do it, and looked like he was cueing up a cutting remark for when I reneged. He went utterly still as I put the change through.

A moment later he was running around the room jumping from patches of cover and performing acrobatics to shame the cat I compared him to. Unlike Henry, he hadn’t needed even a cursory invitation to try out his abilities.

“I think he likes it,” I muttered archly to myself.

“It would s-seem,” Henry agreed, deadpan. We shared a look, then were drawn back when Chris let out a loud whoop.

“I want an ass-load of shivs!” Christopher shouted happily as he dropped down from the ceiling. He’d climbed up a few moments earlier and wedged himself in a crevice like a hard mode game of hide and seek. He hit the ground with an ominous crack and I flinched before moving to get a look.

“I think you fractured your legs, let me see,” I said and oddly, the boy darted a few steps back.

“I’m a skeleton, it doesn't hurt Mistress,” Christopher said, and I felt another figurative eye roll.

“Yeah, and you’ll respawn if you're destroyed but that doesn't mean you should just ruin yourself,” I replied flatly.

“Waaaait, I’ll respawn?” Christopher asked.

“Yeah,” I said, before I realized I’d made a mistake. Christopher let out a whoop of joy while I groaned as an ominous premonition settled over me. Nothing good would come of this.