How I Met Your Monster #01

Vexys

Profile:

Vexys, 23

Gorgon

Interests; Gardening, video games, snakes(duh), art

Dislikes: Guys who talk about themselves too much. Jokes about making people ‘hard’.

Bio:

Hey, Vexys here. Looking to meet someone to hang out with. Not really looking for anything too serious, but am open to it if it happens. Let’s meet up for drinks and get to know each other. Don’t worry, I’ll wear sunglasses as long as you don’t piss me off.

I walk in and immediately spot Vexys. Even if you were to ignore the snakes hanging off her head that she lovingly pets, she’s absolutely beautiful. Her skin is a grey and green mixture, with specks of green freckles dotting her face and shoulders. She’s slender and wears a tank top with some abstract art on it. She has a tattoo on her left wrist, though I never learned Ancient Greek. She later told me that it says ‘venom’.

She already ordered a wine, and she waves at me enthusiastically when she spots me. Her smile is bright and friendly, and her sunglasses take away the view of it reaching her eyes. The enthusiasm takes a load off my shoulders that I didn’t realize I was holding. The fact that I’m nervous and she’s excited is a good sign that the Unhinged users are open to this experience. I order my drink and approach. Her hands are cold as we shake, and I sit down across from her.

“Hey Vexys, thanks for meeting me. Sorry, I’m a little anxious.”

She laughs. It's soft but sweet, “Because of this whole date interview thing or because you’ve never met a gorgon?”

“Even though I’ve never met a gorgon, I’m not too worried about that. You’re just my first interview for the blog.”

She’s taken aback. I have received quite a few messages from various users, but chose Vexys as the first. She had immediately piqued my interest. She wasn’t too excited but also wasn’t calling me human filth. It was a nice balance.

“I didn’t know I would be the first. I’m pretty honored,” she said.

My drink comes to the table, as does the glass of wine I ordered her. She smiles at that, toasts to our health, and we drink. At first a quiet awkwardness hits the table, but the journalist in me refuses to let It hang there.

“So, what made you want to use Unhinged rather than a human-centric dating app?”

Her snakes are coiled down and sleeping on her head, having already sniffed me out when I first sat down. She fidgets with her fingers for a moment, but finally came up with an answer.

“I wanted to get out there. Meet more people. I’m fairly new in the area, and my friend from the gym, Marie, told me about it. I actually had just joined before your blog announcement went out. I figured it would be easier to find people willing to hang out with a gorgon if they were also not a human, you know?”

I nod, “I can see that. Especially with you being new to the area. What do you do for work?”

“Right now, nothing. I freelance some art every now and then, but I mostly fill my day with trying out new things. That’s why I jumped at the opportunity to do this. I wish I had thought of it.”

“What do you like about it?”

“Well, you’ll get to meet different folk each time you do one of these. I love meeting new people. And you don’t have to worry about the date going well or a second date or hooking up or anything like that. You can always just revert back into interview questions.”

“I am a big fan of that. You say in your profile that you’re not looking for anything serious, but you’re open to it. Want to elaborate on that?”

“I mean, I’m a woman with needs like most people. If I go on a date and there’s an attraction there, I’m game. But also, if someone just wants to contact me to go see a concert or a movie or something new and exciting, I’m game. Life is short, and I like experiences.”

“And with Unhinged willing to open up to humans, you would be down with that? At least once?” I ask.

Her cheeks darken a little, “I mean, sure. I’ve yet to meet a human I’m into like that, but I wouldn’t be opposed to it. Most of the human guys I’ve met aren’t the greatest.

“Yeah,” I say, “I understand that. And based on what I can tell, you could have your pick.”

Somehow her cheeks get even darker, and her head turns to the wall. She plays with her wine glass, “So, even though you said this was a date/interview, I was still mainly expecting interview. You caught me off guard with that.”

I smile at her when she looks back. I may be doing my job, but at the end of the day, I’m a single guy as well. And Vexys is very beautiful. She holds herself in a relaxed state, but confidence still exudes off of her. I look into my own face in the reflective surface of her glasses, before one of her snakes snores loudly and breaks up the moment.

We order another round and she asks me to dance. It’s a small bar, but there is a dance floor, and the music definitely puts you in the spirit to move. We dance, and when the music shifts to a slower tune, she wraps her arms around my neck and I grab her waist. We sway for awhile, her head pressed to my chest, and I almost abandon this entire project, calling it a personal success rather than a career one.

Someone bumbs into the back of her. She turns and apologizes. He tells her, “Watch where you’re going, freak.”

Her sunglasses had fallen off during the bump, and when he faces her to call her names, she must have opened her eyes. Her snakes are suddenly perched high and the man’s face grows in shock as his body freezes in place.

The bar closes down. Police and a wizard are called, and the man is returned back to normal. Vexys clearly feels bad for what happened, but I stay there with her and tell her it’s not her fault. And it isn’t. Stuff like this happens. I call us a taxi and walk her up to her doorstep.

“Too bad it’s only an interview, and you don’t have to worry about a second date,” she says.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind seeing you again. Hell, you can even help me with interviews.”

Her smile brightens, and she agrees to join me on dates whenever I feel like having her. We exchange information. I hang out for a while, but I have another interview the next day, so I don’t stay long. I walk the rest of the way home, which is luckily not very far from Vexys’ apartment.

I’ve been typing this up and thinking about it. In my time reporting on and for monsters, I’ve always seen it from a human’s perspective. I’ve seen them as equals, sure, but I’ve never been as interested in one as I am with Vexys. I’m finding myself jealous that that guy got to see her eyes.

Next time, I’ll be meeting with Marie, a werewolf. In fact, it is the same werewolf that told Vexys to join Unhinged. I’ll try to stick to a more professional approach, dear readers, and I apologize if this entry seemed a bit . . . personal.

-Silas D.