How I Met Your Monster #11

Lyla

Profile:

Lyla, 26

Shapeshifter

Likes: Pasta, getting to know people

Dislike: Mirrors

Bio:

Yeah, yeah, I get it. Please do not swipe on me if you’re only interested in me changing forms to match someone else. I won’t do it for me. You got to like me for me before I go letting you have an adventure. But if you earn my trust, then boy you are in for a good time.

AD

Do you have what you most desire? Not many of us do. We have our dreams, our hopes, our goals. But they’re always some intangible thing, just out of our grasp. Not anymore. I am Drakar, and I am perfecting my magic to give you a shot at what you truly want in life. Need confidence? Looking for easy money? Want to step on heads to take over your company? Fret no further. Just truly, truly want it, and I will find you.

We met at a grocery store, which was fine by me. I had recently bought a blender, and needed fruit to start making my own smoothies. I knew they weren’t going to be nearly good as the smoothie place, but there was no way I would be able to afford going there as often that I wanted. I waited near the entrance, and not too long after, Lyla showed up.

She is a very nondescript person, and is very proud of it. Simple face with subtle features. Neutral dark hair and eyes. She wore jeans and a white t-shirt. I mention this because as she walked in, she passed a woman with wavy red hair. By the time she reached me, she too had curly red hair. It was very impressive.

“Hi, Lyla. Felt like a different hairstyle?”

She laughs, “I love red hair. You don’t see it too often, so any time I do, I try to get it for myself.”

“Heck yeah. Treat yourself.”

She smiles and nods before grabbing a cart. We make our way into the grocery.

“I don’t like to store up food. Just never been a fan. So I come here every day to get what I need for dinner.”

“That’s not a bad idea. I always have so much stuff in my fridge,” I reply.

She nods, “Yup. And then I bet you forget about some stuff and it goes back, and before you know it, you have to clean out your whole fridge.”

“Guilty as charged.”

She laughs, “I used to do that all the time. But I live a block from here. It’s much easier to only get what I need and not waste anything, you know?”

“That actually makes total sense. I was going to get a bunch of different fruit to make smoothies, but maybe I should just get some strawberries and some yogurt and just have enough for today and tomorrow.”

“There you go,” she laughs. If nothing else comes from this project, my life will slowly become more manageable. I probably clean out my fridge once a month. It’s always such a chore. I didn’t live near this grocery, but there was one on my block.

“So, Lyla, why are you on Unhinged?”

We pass a couple. One of them must have had green eyes, because when Lyla turns back to me, her brown eyes have been replaced with emeralds. She had also switched her nose to mine, which is slender, if you haven’t met me.

“I mean, that’s what we do these days, right? It’s quick, convenient. You can choose not to have to deal with someone. If some creep came up to me here, it would be hard to ignore him. But online, I can just swipe to the left, and never hear from him.”

“That’s a pretty good take on it,” I say. “So, what are some problems you run into, specifically as a shapeshifter?”

“Well, first you start talking to a guy and suddenly he wants to know if you can transform into some actress for him. Then it’s his high school crush. Or his friend’s girlfriend. It gets weird. I’m not against it down the line, but I mean, I want to be seen too, you know?”

I turned to grab strawberries while she was talking and when I face her again, she’s about three inches shorter. Her jeans are tighter around the waist and her white t-shirt hangs differently. I can hear a group of girls laughing in the distance.

“So you try to be yourself on your profile?”

“I mean, yeah. Some of my pictures are like me with blonde hair or me with tattoos, but for the most part, I’m pretty up front about who I am. Getting really tired of guys wanting me to shift into a werewolf girl or a mermaid. I mean, really? What’s sexual gratification are you getting from a girl whose bottom half is a fin?”

I get a chuckle out of that and we make it over to the spice aisle. Her red hair is fading back to brown and shortening up again. She keeps pulling on it like she’s trying to get it to stay.

“So, how do you powers work? I’ve got to say, I’ve never met someone who is directly a shapeshifter. Changelings and weres and stuff, sure.”

“Well, I have to be able to see it. I can’t just make someone up and go for it. And I can only do pieces from people. I can hold it as long as I can remember it, but I honestly forgot if that first girl’s hair was wavy or not.”

“It was,” I tell her, and the hair goes back.

“Thanks. You think looking in a mirror would work, but for some reason it just makes me question it more.”

“I get that. It’s like saying the same word over and over until it loses all meaning.”

“Yes! Exactly!”

“So, what kind of guy are you looking for?”

She smiles to herself, “I’m looking for a guy who can love me for me. I mostly shift like this when I’m anxious, and I think that feeling comfortable would calm that a lot. But when someone likes you for your ability to look like someone else, it makes it hard to feel right in your own skin. He also has to like music. The last guy I dated hated music.”

“Who hates music?”

“Right? That’s what I’m saying. Like, find something you enjoy. It can’t all be bad.”

We get to the check out. I let her go first. It seems like she’s making chicken picante. I’m almost jealous. I pay for my strawberries and yogurt, opting to carry them rather than waste a plastic bag.

“Well, before I go, Lyla, is there anything you want to add to the interview?”

“Sure. There are lots of people in the world. You may find them on Unhinged. You may not. But if you leave your heart and mind open, you have a much better chance that trying to force someone to be who they aren’t.”

She smiles and leave, her nose changes back. I guess she didn’t end up liking mine after all.

I think that’s a great lesson to learn, dear readers. We all have our own insecurities about ourselves. Out own baggage or what we perceive as damage. We are anxious, be us human or monster. But if we take the time to really get to know someone, who knows who we’ll end up falling in love with. I think that’s a good note to go out on. Until next time.

-Silas D.