How I Met Your Monster #37

Tim

Profile:

Tim

Snowman

Likes: I've not really had a chance to figure that out

Dislikes: Warmth

Bio:

Hello! I was created in the Spring time and have been pretty much holed up in a walk in deep freeze since. I would love to have some company for awhile. Kind of boring in here.

AD

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Janet's One Hundred Flavors probably isn't my favorite ice cream shop, but I have to admit that Janet is a super sweet person. Never so much as blinked at the fact that I'm a gorgon. She led me to a back room of the shop and pointed me out to the walk in that Tim the Snowman was in. The light was on and he was sitting on a bunch of boxes in the shape of a chair.

"Why, hello!" He said in excitement. He got up, his round body gliding across the slippery floor of the deep freeze. He leaned in and placed both stick hands on my shoulders before backing away, "Sorry, it's just that while Janet is working, I'm starving for company."

"That's fine, I get it. So, I've got to say. I know a lot of different creatures and monsters and other such things, but you've got to be the first living snowman I've met or even heard of. How did that happen?"

"Well, a bunch of kids found some magic and made a snow day. They made me and I came to life thanks to the magic. But once their magic ran out and everything started melting, so did I. So I ran and ran until I found this place. Janet let me take up space in here and here I've been."

"Have you...talked to anyone about fixing it?"

He cocked his head, his coal eyes giving away no hint of emotion, "I've talked to a wizard who confirmed that I would stay alive forever as long as I didn't melt, but refused to help me in that aspect. Other than that and Janet, I've only talked to people for quick chats. And most of them on the phone Janet gave me."

"And you decided to join a dating app?"

"Yeah! Most of the other websites and forums didn't believe me. But there's something about the app that has given me lots of friends to talk to."

"Yeah, this little interview project we're doing has really taken off. The app is oversaturated with users so far, and we haven't even allowed more humans in yet. So you've just resigned yourself to staying in here after only talking to one wizard?"

"I mean, if he wasn't willing to do it, I'm sure no one else would be."

I asked Tim for a moment and called Silas, who said he was on it. This was no way to live.

"I've got someone on the way that will hopefully be able to help. Until then, want to tell me about yourself?"

He laughed. Somehow. "There's not much to tell really. I'm a magic living snowman who was created not too long ago. I've been stuck in here for most of it. I don't know anything about the outside world. I enjoyed the playing and sledding and singing I did when I was first created, but beyond that, all I know is that Janet's ice cream is delicious."

I would have to disagree with that. The flavors always seemed to lighthanded to me, like she was too afraid to just go for it. But, I wouldn't take away the joy of the one thing Tim liked. As I was thinking of something else to say to bide me some time, there was a knock on the freezer door. It opened and in walked Drakar the sorcerer. He greeted us then took a good, long look at Tim before nodding to himself.

Drakar pulled out a flask and held a hand under it. He muttered some words and a swirl of magic surrounded the flask, casting purple light across the room. He pulled the topper, sniffed it, then looked satisfied. He proceeded to splash it onto Tim.

"There," Drakar said, "Now you will be able to walk out and about in the world without melting. No need to thank me. Silas has already footed the bill." He spun and left with a flourish, his cape following like a whip.

"Well, what do you say, Tim? Want to give it a try?"

He nodded and I held the door open for him as he tentatively slid out of the walk in deep freezer. We made our way to the front of the store where Janet looked at us concerned, and went outside. As we stood there, Tim looked around as people walked passed and cars drove up and down the road. He listened to the birds tweeting and the horn of a nearby train. He took in the sun, sighing contently as he realized that it was not melting him. Then, he abruptly turned around and went back inside. I followed.

"What happened?" Janet said.

I looked at her and shrugged, but Tim answered, "It's nice and all, but not really my style. I would rather continue to stay in your deep freeze, if you would let me."

Janet looked like she was twirling the possibility around in her head before something finally clicked, "I've got a great idea. How about you can stay in there after hours, but during business hours, since you can be out, you can help me work the store? That way I can get some extra stuff done, and you'll be able to talk to customers!"

"Do you think your customers would be okay with that?" Tim asked nervously.

"Of course!" Janet said with excitement, "An ice cream shop with a living snowman? Who wouldn't love that?" The two of them got excited and started talking about plans and I decided to take that as my cue to leave. As exciting as a talking snowman would be, it wouldn't make the ice cream taste any better.

So, readers. This was a new experience. A talking snowman who had only been alive for a few weeks trapped in a freezer until a sorcerer solved the problem. I honestly can't tell you how this ended up being my job. It's truly baffling. But, I know Silas likes trying to end these on a final thought type thing. I guess, don't let your flaws keep you from what you truly want? Maybe, don't be afraid to meet new people? Get a job? I really don't know how to finish this one out, guys. So, I guess I'll wait for the next weird shit to happen. See ya.

-Vexys