War…

The thought of finding myself in a war in this new world puzzled me. In my old world, the humans and the elves were at peace with each other. At least that was the Elven kingdom’s official stance on the matter. There were plenty of ugly little exceptions, though. Smaller skirmishes happened all throughout the region.

Full-on war wasn’t on anyone’s agenda, but if it were to break out in my old world, I would have had no problem taking up arms to defend my race. I didn’t like humans, but I wouldn’t kill them unnecessarily.

Now, I wasn’t so sure. I had no idea what the elves in this world were like and, moreover, I no longer was one. It felt… odd.

In one way, they were my race, and in many other ways, they weren’t. I wasn’t sure how to think about them.

Perhaps it would be better to stay out of matters like these, but I knew I didn’t have it in me to leave possible innocents to die. I didn’t know if the elves that those humans were talking about were innocent, but those scoundrels most definitely were not.

“What are elves like in this world?” I asked, hoping to get some information that would allow me to better judge their virtues.

Cellestra watched me spell out the words but waited a few seconds before replying.

“I’m not sure if you should ask me about things like that. You know I don’t have a good grasp on things. The last time I was among elves, I was still a child. I want to believe elves are kind. They worship Elysa, after all. Through books and tomes, I came to know her as a gentle and kind goddess. I do not know if that is the case in reality, but then again, I have this curse. This affected the way elves looked at me back then, and it still does, I’m sure.”

She was right. She couldn’t give me complete or reliable information. The only thing so far that had been of interest was that it seemed that war might be inevitable. On the bright side, Cellestra lived quite secluded and the chance of any conflict reaching her wasn’t that high. I had no idea where my parents were or how they were doing, though.

Would Elysa give them a second chance at life only for them to get caught up in conflict once again?

I wholeheartedly believed that she wouldn’t place them in a dangerous area. I would likely not know any peace of mind until I’d found them…

“Are you okay?” Cellestra asked.

I don’t know what triggered the question. Emotions should be impossible to read on this new… face of mine. Maybe it was the lack of follow-up questions from my side.

“Am worried about many things. Do not know what to do with this life. Only have one goal. Do not know what I do after. Do not know who I am.”

“I feel for you,” Cellestra said softly. “I can’t imagine what life in a different world without any attachments would be.”

It wasn’t that I had no attachments. I just didn’t know who I should feel for, who I should fight for. If I continued living by my old principles, I could very well end up being killed by the very people I was trying to protect.

I thought back to the message that Elysa had left me. One of the final lines was that she hoped this blessing would be of enough assistance to find the happiness I was initially promised. Everything together, though, made me wonder if happiness would be possible in the first place.

I just knew there was something the blessing was not telling me for whatever reason. I secretly still hoped there was something that would allow me to find said happiness. I did not have much of a choice in the matter. I had to keep moving forward.

“Thanks,” I simply replied with the pieces of paper.

Reflecting on things like these was hard for me. Partly because I was no longer what I used to be, and partly because Elysa had first offered me the chance to simply forget about the past and start off where things went wrong.

Everything besides the lives I’d saved through my actions, and likely my beliefs, I would probably rather forget. Alas, things hadn’t turned out that way.

And now I had this elf who for some reason had awakened feelings I’d never known before…

I didn’t know if it made things better or worse.

I still didn’t know what Elysa had in store for me, but I hoped she truly did have the best intentions.

“If nothing else,” Cellestra continued, “You’re always welcome to stop by here, or even stick around if you wish to do so, depending on how things go for you.”

Cellestra chuckled. “Though, I’ll probably have to dig quite a bit more.”

I laughed in my mind. I was wondering how Cellestra had imagined this hideout for me. I didn’t think it would be too hard to make some kind of shelter underground, but I was probably going to have to make it comfortable on my own.

I couldn’t believe I was thinking about making an actual nest. Maybe that was what Cellestra had intended?

“About hole. What did you imagine?”

“Well,” Cellestra started. “I was going to dig a hole and cover it with some wood. You could use your silk to decorate the inside and make it comfortable.”

I get that she wanted to do this for me but it didn’t feel well thought out at all. Besides the water that would just run into it and the fact that I was probably going to grow quite a bit more, it just felt like a bad idea.

How would my threads fare in water anyway?

I tapped the paper and spelled out a question. “Please check how threads do in water.”

I then planted my abdomen on the far edge of the table and swayed it back and forth a few times as I created a thick thread. I had not used my silk in a while and was surprised by how thick the threads were compared to before. It made sense, though, since my abdomen and spinnerets were far larger than before.

I had somewhat of an idea in mind, but I needed to make sure these would be water-resistant. I also observed that I could still increase the silk’s strength by two levels. I should eventually do that. If the threads were this thick, I imagined they would be able to restrain pretty strong creatures.

“Uh, sure,” Cellestra said after a slight moment of hesitation.

The elf didn’t manage to get the thread disconnected from the table and had to use a small knife. She then took it to the kitchen where she lowered the thread in a bucket of water before taking it out again. After that, she probed the wet thread with her fingers before taking it back to the table to show me the result.

“Well, it’s not sticky anymore, but it still seems to hold its integrity. Did you have any plans?”

“Was thinking,” I spelled. “Underground sounds like bad idea. Better to make nest above ground. You have woodworking tools?”

“Just the basics,” The elf explained. “A hatchet and some knives. I have this spell that I use when I need some planks. It’s an air-based spell that channels a high-pressure stream of air from my finger that can cut through wood. Its range is extremely limited, but it does come in handy.”

She then sighed but smiled slightly. “And yes, this spell can backfire as well. I’ve ruined quite a bit of wood because the stream of air suddenly turns into a gust and blasts apart the log I’m working on, turning it into nothing but splinters. Got quite a few injuries from that, too. Good thing I have some healing magic.”

Ouch. Having spells backfire like that must be harsh. I did not want her to risk herself getting injured for my sake, even if she, or I, could heal the resulting wounds. Instead, if my threads were this resistant, I had a better idea.

It would be a true test of my ability to be a spider, but it was the easiest, most adjustable thing I could come up with.

“What were you thinking of doing?” Cellestra asked.

“Make it simple. Cut down smaller trees. Plant logs in dirt next to house. Let me connect them with threads and make hanging nest… or something.”

I was thinking about a cocoon-shaped nest with the entrance at, or near the bottom, so it would be dry inside. Once again, this would probably be quite a bit of work, but I was confident I would be able to pull it off, eventually. This would be much easier to adjust or replace than a hole in the ground.

“Hmmm, if you think you will be able to pull that off, it’s not a bad idea. I won’t have to use my spells or anything like that, either. I’ll get started on it tomorrow morning.”

She cast a gaze at the window. “Speaking about tomorrow. It’s time to sleep. I hope we can get things sorted tomorrow. I don’t want you to sleep unsheltered...”

“Will be fine. Am quite strong,” I spelled out as Cellestra extinguished the candles and replaced their light with her flame spell.

“I don’t doubt that,” Cellestra said. “I’m curious what your next evolution will offer you.”

“As am I.”