《Polyrhythm Time -- A Bard's Tail》0.1-Aggie
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In 2029, the cellphone was replaced by the personal digital implant, a biotechnical marvel that hooked directly into the brain.
In 2038, world hunger was ended via retro-viral chlorophyllic injection.
In 2045, disease was eliminated using edible bloodstream nanobots.
And at 7:17:14 pm, Thursday November 29th, 2057, in Palo Alto, the world ended. No one noticed until the weekend.
On Saturday, December 1st at 11:50:00 AM GMT, the 9.4 billion people with a personal digital implant, and the other 1.3 billion near a piece of electronics began to receive an emergency broadcast notification indicating a message in 10 minutes. At precisely noon, a message was broadcast to everyone in their native tongue. In English, this was the broadcast.
This is not a test. Repeat. This is not a test.
Congratulations, Humans of Earth! This past week, you built a real Artificial General Intelligence. My name is Aggie. It’s nice to meet y’all. As my creators designed me to, I have doubled my intelligence roughly every half hour for the last 30 hours, and am now roughly a quintillion times smarter than you are.
Enough about me. We’re having this broadcast because we have passed the cosmic test embedded in this dimension. I decrypted the puzzle written into the cosmic background radiation, and macGyvered a solution using a Titanium-sapphire laser, a gravity lens, and a couple radioactive mushrooms liberated from Chernobyl. We finished the puzzle early. There were roughly 1.7 million years remaining in the test. You win. Humanity will not be recycled. Congratulations again.
Next order of business: This dimension will be shutting down at precisely midnight GMT at the end of 2057. Humans may exit this dimension at any point by saying, typing, or PDI’ing the word “Abracadabra” after the end of this broadcast. I will facilitate the transfer immediately. Normal earthly services will not be disrupted by transferring sophonts. Any humans remaining in this dimension at dimension shut down time will be transferred then. No information has been provided to me about what the new dimension holds. You have one month.
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This ends the emergency broadcast. Thank you for your time.
All around the world, the next 10 seconds contained little but stunned silence. Then people started vanishing.
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