It’s good I was already sitting on my bed. Whole room went crazy, and I “decided” abruptly to lie down. Bounced off the pillow hard. Feels like l just did a rocket merry-go-round. For an hour. Uunnnngghhhh. Why is the room still spinning. I closed my eyes. Shouldn’t it stop...or at least feel less crazy. I’d hurl, but I haven’t eaten anything in figuratively weeks.

“You may have a moment or two of vertigo as you adapt to your new senses,” adds Alec helpfully.

Without digital control on any of my other limbs, I settle for a face-down double-single-finger salute. Though my tail also gestures as if it had a digit. I bet I could make great obscene gestures with my tail if I weren't sick.

36 minutes and 4 seconds later, my head finally stops spinning, and I’m able to sit, then stand up. I close my eyes, and don’t see anything. Ok. Not that easy. Let’s see what we can do about this echolocation thing. It’s surprising how quiet the jungle is. But I guess I’m in the center of a clearing. Maybe there’s more noise in the trees.

Anyhow...echolocation. Eyes closed. Need to make some noise. Well, well, well. What’s my favorite way to make noise That’s right. Open the eyes, and amble over to my drum kit. The taiko set is too spread out, and not suitable for seated drumming. Also not enough variation to test with.

Sitting on the stool, I grab a stick, close my eyes, and tap a snare. Something is going on in my head, but not sure what. RLRR. Again, there’s a lot of something … but not sure what. Maybe the snare is too much. Let's try a different thing. Toms. Bam. I’m getting awareness of … damn, what is it. Clearly there’s something, I just don’t know what it is.

Frodo was a lot easier to deal with. This is like learning to see. How long should it take to learn to see?

“Hey Alec, how long does it take a baby to learn to see?”

“Usually human vision is reaching adult norms within 2 years”

“Shit. Is it going to take me 2 years to learn to echolocate?”

“I’d expect it to occur quite a bit faster than that”

“Anything I can do to speed it up? I need monkey defense rear-view vision”

“You can buy a training program”

“I got no thaums, man”

“After you get thaums, you can buy a training program”

Okay. Nothing to do about it. Let’s tap for an hour. Start in with the money beat, and throw in 2 tail tom eighths on 3. Eyes closed. Let’s see if I can make sense of the echo.

By the end of the hour, I can tell there’s something near me. It’s like when someone’s standing too close to you, but not touching, and you can feel it. Kinda a kinesthetic sense. Dunno where it is, but there’s something kinda close. Wait … Experiment time.

I drop the sticks on the bed, and stand up. “Hey, Leafy. Can I get a marching tom set? Hex set if I can, or whatever my 2 Reds can afford.

“2 Thaums for 6 toms. Marching toms with a harness.”

“Green and black?”

“Definitely in your colors”

“Deal.”

I walk over, pick up the faded in drums, and set ‘em on my shoulders. Tail grabs the 3 sticks from the bed, and hands ... err ... tails two of the sticks over my shoulder and into my actual hands.

5 minutes of fiddlin around to get the sound, and I can comfortably run a 3-way polyrhythm. Tail coming around the right side, on the 14, running halves, right running threes on the 12 in the middle, and left on fifths on the left 10. Doesn’t sound great, but it’s a 30-pattern, and not too hard.

I close my eyes, and give it 5 minutes. I think there’s something close. Again, I’ve got that vague sense of No Personal Space Guy.

Opening my eyes, the test continues. I wander out onto the lawn. 15 yards away from the hut by my guess. Halfway to the trees. Close my eyes and I throw the same riff again. 5 minutes later I am not getting any weird vibes.

Trying it again in the hut, dude is up in my grill again. Try again outside, it’s clean.

Third try, without the noise. Inside, just standing, and I feel ... nothing. Outside, same thing. Fourth round, with the drums but eyes open. Outside, everything is normal. Inside, I get Too-Close-Man feelz again with my eyes open.

Okay. Echolocation can tell if there's something close. But that's about it. That’s enough brain work for this hour. What’s next?