First things first. I gel myself, and the scratches start healing. Funny, but I think I was less hurt this time than in either of the other two. And that was 8 monkeys and some sort of monkey giant. Easily five times as hard as my other fights. Three times the monkeys, and a super-sized one. But I’m just that much … faster really. And echolocation is "teh uberz". Still wish my escrima was good enough. I'm half depressed by needing a baseball bat to finish.

I wander around and pick up the balls and the hockey puck I’ve left around the lawn. I think one of the baseballs went into the jungle. No idea where. Don’t even know how many there were at the beginning, so I can’t be sure. Once I’ve got all my gear, and I’ve slipped my tools all back in my weird pockets, I head around to the monkeys. They all do the ghost-split thing, and I go from having 1 R-thaum up to having 494. Big monkey was worth something like 250.

Suddenly, I notice how dirty I've been for the last week and change. “Hey, tall, green and ugly, how much to get cleaned off?”

“Water, sponge, towel and basin cost a hundred i-Thaums. Rapid reclamation of the monkey remains, including the bits on your face and hair is five hundred i-thaums. A thaumaturgical shower with temperature controls that will run for an hour if you feed it an r-thaum costs fifty-two r-thaums.”

“Does the shower produce soap and shampoo? Do the towels dry overnight? Will I be able to take it with me, with the drums, if I can get the cash for big pockets? Does it have walls? Are they glass? Can you see out? How tall?

“The cost varies depending on what you’re trying to do of course. The fifty two was for a beach-style out-door shower with temperature control. The cost was mostly in the Thaumaturgy necessary to generate, heat, and re-absorb the water and waste. What precisely do you want?

“I need soap and shampoo generation, a towel rack/dryer, a fully enclosed shower to keep the heat and steam in. Translucent walls. I want to know if a monkey is coming, but not show off my junk .… ooh, can we have good acoustics too? Shower reverb? And a warm dressing room. But not to get the towel and clothes wet. It needs to fold into the big pockets I’m gonna get.”

“You're up to 103 r-thaums, and it would cost two thaums per shower to clean and dry a towel, get soap and shampoo, and supply an hour of hot and cold water. Seems quite a big spend on luxuries. Are you even trying to survive?”

“Little green buddy. I’m tryin’ to live. Surviving ain’t good enough. I want the shower. But I forgot to say thanks, man. Without your advice, there’s no way I woulda been able to handle Rampage back there. So I owe you one. Big time. Do you really think that a shower is a bad idea?"

“I don’t suppose there’s much else you can buy for a hundred Thaums that will help you much.

“Dude. I’ll take it. And I’ll practice Sonicmancy singing in the shower”

“Audiomancy.”

“That’s what I said. Shower, I choose you!”

I still don’t understand how Yoda over there in the corner not only makes the shit appear, but also snakes the coins out of my pocket. Sense does not make, force-o-mancy, mmmmhhhh? Shower fades into another corner of the hut. Looks like Frosted glass, but doesn’t feel that way. It's softer and less breakable. Frosted plastic? It's a two 2-room shower area. With a door in between. And its a cool door. It’s a sliding door, with closed and open positions that make a T shape, not an L-shape like normal. I open and close it a couple times because it's cool. When it's open, the door is halfway in and half out of the shower, and up against the left wall. Maybe it’s the weird track on the ceiling, but it means that the door won’t knock you over in one of the small rooms when you open it from either side. Almost like a curved sliding door.

“Dude. You rock. Can I get clothes too? Motorcycle jacket with a bunch of silver bling. Slayer Tank Top. Acidwash skinny jeans. Vans? The rags I’m in now are ripped in a dozen spots. Getting sick duds would rock. Especially if I have a washing machine too. Like 3 sets”

“Might I offer a suggestion before you purchase this?”

“You’re the brain coral. Drop some knowledge.”

“Coral are Cnidarian Animals, not plants. Do you happen to know where leather comes from?”

“Leather factories? Come on man, I’m not stupid. It comes from cows.”

“Did you know there are different kinds of leather?”"

“Leather seats, shoes and sofas. Yeah. Duh.”

“I was more referring to ostrich, snake, and crocodile leather”

“Those aren’t brands?”

“No, Kevin, those are animals. Leather comes from different animals.”

“Dude. I never knew that.”

“I suppose you also didn’t know that different leathers were different strengths and difficulties to tear?”

“So like is croc leather extra tough?”

“Actually, Stingray leather was some of the toughest in your old dimension. But in the new dimension, there’s something even better.”

“Dude. Can I get some?”

“It depends, Kevin. Are you willing to skin a monkey?”

It costs ten r-thaums for Jim Bowie, the skinning coach. Ten more r-thaums gets me a Bowie knife that coach B approves of. Then three hours worth of measure twice, cut once, and a metric ass-ton of blood all over my old clothes, and I have a monkey skin, without too much damage. Who knew monkey-dicks were so small? I certainly didn't want to. Another twenty reds, and Spike the plant promises to have a blinged out black monkey-leather jacket, along with three sets of other clothes when I get out of the shower. Rumor is that with the big monkey’s toughness upgrades, the baby monkeys won’t be able to even rip the jacket. I almost forgot, but three sets of big fluffy towels, hand towels, washcloths and such ends up costing almost nothing.

2 more thaums fed into the contraption, and I’ve got an hour to sing in a hot shower.