Being bed-bound did not allow for many activities.

I read and read until the hospital ran out of books for me to borrow. By then, it doesn’t really matter anymore, since I couldn’t even lift a book or turn a page without a nurse’s help.

So, I turned to my imagination, sketching out scenarios instead.

Occasionally, I would replay “Lord of the Rings” in my mind, sometimes being “Percy Jackson” as he went about fighting hydras.

I imagined myself as this giant monster bearing down at the cowering innocents. I would laugh at their puny attempts to defend themselves and the cowardly weaklings that ran way, then chomp down upon their flesh as a huge monster would.

Oh wait, that’s reality, I remarked as I grabbed a [Green Worm] from its kin, dragging it off into the “air”. The indignant worms below failed to reach me with their much shorter hair, and I did laugh at their puniness.

This is fun.

I popped the [Green worm] in my mouth, me staying safely out of reach. This had been my twenty-second [Green Worm] now, and it seemed that the worms had yet to show any signs acknowledging that I’m the bane of their existence or that their numbers in my hunting ground were thinning out rather quickly.

I’ve realized that despite never being full before, I actually felt stuffed now. The [Deposit] on my [Soul Stone] got too thick, almost the size of a [Red Blob] — pure, compacted [Essence] made my torso bloated. If a [Grey Blob] could be used as a base unit for [Essence], I would have…

Five times twenty-two… and these are [Green Worms] instead of a [Red Blob], so probably seven times twenty-two?

After doing some quick calculations in my non-existent brain, I realized that I had about one hundred and fifty-four [Grey Blobs] worth of [Essence] worth in me, along with some other leftovers from before.

I drifted off from the angry [Green Worms] beneath me, thinking of a way to spend my stored [Essence]. I wasn’t too bothered with my safety since the detection range of the critters and blobs that positively carpeted this area was rather short.

Hmm… What do I need? I mused, deep in thought. I hadn’t had such a large [deposit] since I created the [Stomach] since I used all other [Essence] pretty much immediately.

Currently, my hunting pattern works just fine. I would swoop behind a [Green Worm], wrap it up and then drag it away for consumption by eating it whole. It was pretty slow going since I had to go up and down every time with only a single [Green Worm] caught, using all of my feelers.

How did people hunt in the sea again? Nets? Harpoons?

I got no idea how to create a net out of my body, or how to implement it. Something like a venus fly trap?

…

Nope.

The concept of a harpoon seemed much more viable. I know that unlike blobs, the [Green Worms] do not pop on contact, dying only after bleeding out and half their body missing. If I create something sharp with the crystalline structures on the tip of some feelers, it might work…

Focusing once again and channelling the power of [Self-Mould], I imagined myself growing three long tendrils from beneath my jaw, right at the chin. The tendrils, sturdy and dextrous, will be capped at the tip with a spearhead, perfect for piercing through a target and wheeling it in.

The facility tingling sensation came again, signifying the rapid growth of my body and drainage of [Essence] from my deposit.

Every time I got a new appendage, it comes with a sensation not unlike stretching — where you pop out a new limb instead of joints popping. With it, I gain full control of the new limb, like I got a new finger that I never realized I had.

For some mysterious reason, I never got that “unfamiliar” sensation I would expect from having an entirely new limb. Perhaps it’s linked to the fact that I don’t have a brain? Or the fact that my body is constructed from thoughts?

Huh. I got distracted again.

Shaking myself from my thoughts, cursing myself for the habit of daydreaming — There is only so much one can do when stuck in a bed for months, after all — I returned back to business.

Waving my limbs about, I tested their speed and strength, poking them out like spears and whipping them. With only my thought directing them, the three tendrils, which I shall call [Spears], slashed through the space in synchronization.

Certainly, with the compacted [Essence] the size of a [Red Blob], the [Spears] certain packed quite a bit of power. With a length about as long as my own body, the [Spears] can safely keep the prey’s distance while still impaling them on the spot.

Or enemies.

Excited, I turned back to the column, where the tasty goodness known as [Green Worms] nested.

Once again, they’ve already returned to their business, scattering across the column once more and doing their wormy things like eating the mysterious [plant].

Well, good for me that their attention span is short.

Swooping in, I found a group of three tussling with each other over a scrap of food, completely oblivious to their doom approaching from above.

I took careful aim with my harpoons, measuring the distance…

“Sphkk!”

Lightning fast, the three [Spears] shot out. Two of them hit their mark perfectly, spearing the hapless [Green Worm]. The third one missed the mark, slamming into its head instead, popping it right off as it spasmed uncontrollably.

Eh… Good enough.

Swimming up and compensating for the extra weight, I made my daring escape. Surprisingly, the [Green Worms] wasn’t too heavy, even though there were only two.

Impaled, the [Green Worms] made squealing as they dangled, the [spears] notched in their flesh. I stuffed them in my mouth one by one, tearing it off with my [Feelers] and swallowed.

Ohh that’s nice.

It’s certainly faster then before, seeing that if I could do it right I can catch three at once. Turning my attention back to the [Green Worms] below, it seemed that they had yet to notice their comrades being snatched away by the devilry called Elisa.

Now that I’m truly armed, I was tempted to go for a larger catch.

There, not too far away below me was a nest. Hidden underneath a [Green Worm: Big] was a cache of shiny yellow eggs. [Green worms] came and go around them, some even carrying bits of [Plant] back to the bigger worm.

Like social insects, then. The queen eats and breeds, the pawns go about bringing food back.

If the worms weren’t exposed out in the opening, they might even rather tough to get at.

The [Green Worm: Big] was previously just a bit bigger than half of me, which didn’t change as I didn’t grow at all during my last hunt. Even if I do hunt it, I doubt I will have a good time trying to eat that as it won’t fit in my mouth. That’s fine. My goal wasn’t them, it's the eggs.

Like other worms, the [Green Worm: Big] wasn’t particularly observant, being tended by its warriors constantly. It sat there, big and fat, its mouth open for food.

Ew.

Despite knowing it tastes like beef, it doesn’t look good at all. Its a worm, which no amount of flavour can change.

I contemplated on how I should go about hunting for the eggs. Should I go for an air-raid styled attack? Go in, snatch the eggs and get out directly? Maybe, I could use our size difference, knock it off its little pile with my brute strength alone before swallowing as many eggs as possible?

Or should I just kill it?

I don’t want to kill a [Green Worm: Big], since they lay the eggs and repopulate the column. However, it would make it quite a bit easier to get to the eggs…

Let’s go with the “knock it off and grab everything] option.

I swam back a little bit to allow myself some space. When I was ready and my sights set on the prize, I started paddling.

Oh boy, here we go.

I gradually increased my speed, accelerating and accelerating at the [Green Worm: Big]. I used my [Feelers] to form a cage around my face for protection, the [Spears] dangling behind.

At the very last moment, just before hitting the [Green Worm: Big], I twisted myself sideways so that my “shoulder” was the impact point instead. With a tackle worthy of major league football players, I slammed into the big fat worm.

The [Green Worm: Big] didn’t take the hit too well. The area where I hit seemed to ripple and for a moment, the worm seemed unaffected. Then, reality caught up with it as the force transmitted to the rest of its body.

Dramatically, the worm was lifted off its feet by my charge, waving pointlessly in the air before slamming down again upon smaller worms.

I didn’t waste my time checking if the worm was still alive after my charge — probably not, seeing how your freaking [Feelers] can rip them apart — I homed in for the eggs.

In a circle of indented… dirt? Made of whatever [Beyond] is, within the whole were tens of tiny eggs, littered about. They glinted yellow with an almost golden hue, positively shiny as they laid there, defenceless.

Not wasting time, I opened my jaws as far as they can go. With some mighty effort, I [Tugged] on them. Almost like magic — genius, you are a flying Cthulhu-fish — the eggs popped free from their spots hovering the air. Tugging at them again, the eggs zoomed into my opened jaws like a stream, travelling like a gullet.

I had expected something like egg yolk, seeing that they are yellow. However, the taste was surprisingly close to fish roe instead. Large, chicken-egg sized fish roes, but nonetheless it’s welcomed. I didn’t swallow all of them immediately though, keeping some safely cradled in my mouth cavity.

Operation Godzilla success!

With the eggs snatched, I swiftly launched myself upward again, away from the nest. While I was busy with the eggs, the [Green Worms] recovered from the shock of having their big mama being sent flying. They attempted to snare me with their hair, but I’m made of much tougher stuff than a [Red Blob]. Tearing loose from their bindings easily, I swam away into the “air”, victorious.

Just like taking candies from a baby. Or in this case, babies from the worms.

The [Green Worms] seemed extremely confused when I zoomed away from then. The [Green Worm: Big] laid unmoving at a distance from the nest, a huge dark green coloured bruise formed around the area that I {Tackled} it with. Smaller worms crowded around it, making distressed sounding whines, their hair waving frantically.

Now I feel guilty over worms. Wow.

Tearing my eyes away from the nest, I observed the eggs within my jaws. They were perfect small globes, piling together. Though I had swallowed around seven, there were five left within me.

The [Green Worm: Eggs] were completely opaque, a smooth yellow across its entire surface, which seemed relatively hardy. However, when I shook them with my tongue, I felt some kind of… sloshing from within.

Is it hollow?

…

The eggs curiously reminded me of something.

…

……

Oh god.

Panicked, I rushed down to the column once more. Not caring that I might have accidentally squished a few worms, I used my [feelers] to quickly snatch a [Green Worm] away from the ground.

Don’t tell me —

I lifted my [Spear], carefully making a cut right in its head. The small incision opened without issue, the jelly-flesh splitting open.

And within, right where the brain would be, glinted yellow.

Oh god —

These weren’t eggs. They were [Soul Stones].

Fuck!

Oh no no oh no no no —

Despite being completely made of thought alone, I somehow felt out of breath. I felt faint, yet my mind remained so clear.

Had I been … killing people?

I had devoured more than a hundred creatures since I woke up.

I… didn’t know.

…

No…

Wait a moment.

What are [Soul Stones]?

Do animals have souls?

Why would the [Green Worms] have them, but not the blobs?

The [Beyond] clearly came after someone dies — or else I wouldn’t be here. I was definitely Elisa, an orphan that died when she was fourteen. My favourite colour is blue, hates centipedes and enjoy doodling. I and my past life are undoubtedly real.

Then, after I died, I somehow woke up here in the [Beyond], where physics seemed hazy and strange magical phenomenon exists.

Was I a blob? The first thing I felt when I woke up was the sensation of being [Tugged] and dragged out of “slumber” by something unknown. I remembered being so horribly sleepy, but…

Let's say that I was a blob before I reformed into a [Soul Stone], then where did all that [Essence] come from? [Grey Blobs] don’t really contain that much, and despite having more [Essence], [Red Blobs] too really doesn’t have much.

Seeing how a [Green Worm] too have a [Soul Stone], albeit it being squishy and weak, it meant that around their level, thoughts can be formed. My own [Soul Stone] houses my mind, where the body was a mere extension of that. The same goes for the [Green Worm], where they only die when their head got splattered.

If by some means, I started as a giant Blob, when then formed a [Soul Stone] with a tough body to spare, that does not explain where on earth did my [Essence] came from.

What is [Essence] to begin with anyway? They literally function as food for thought, being the building blocks of my body. So, are they actually thoughts? Memories? Emotions? Souls?

Why are there these floaty bits of… souls then? Why do they form into these blobs and strange creatures?

I am dead, I reminded myself. Why would there be these memories pieces lying about then? Where o the actual souls then?

…

The current, Elisa, where does the river goes?

…

Then, I arrived at a revelation.

It’s the circle of Reincarnation.

The [Beyond] is literally made of souls, blank and empty. All the tangible bits inside are memories, things that make things. When something dies, the bit of soul that they contain will travel back into the [Beyond], purged of their [Essence] and renewed across the world.

Or worlds.

Souls themselves are worth nothing, they are mere carriers. Their [Essence], however, forms all of the constructs in the [Beyond].

I am not a soul-eating demon. I thought to myself, I’m an [Essence] eating demon.

The enormity of the thought of somehow being in the backstage of life’s greatest mystery show sent a shiver up my body. Did our lives mean anything? If we go into the afterlife, just to have your thoughts and memories scattered across the [Beyond] as food?

What happens to the [Essence]? Do they just build up and up as these creatures born of them devour each other?

And who am I?

Why do I have my memories if I started as a blob?

…

My [Essence].

…

Fuck!

How long had I been spending my [Essence] about? I have used the majority to construct my [Soul Stone], which houses my mind. However, my initial body was constructed my [Essence]. What did I spend?

I focused unto myself once more, attempting to unravel —

Oh no.

No —

NO!

What I sensed, was just a solid block of [Essence]. I can’t feel any distinction between was originally belonged to me, Elisa, and what came from the creatures of the [Beyond]. The motes were so intertwined they were indistinguishable.

What would happen if I got wounded somehow? If I lost a bit of my faux-flesh made of my own [Essence]? Will I lose my mind? My memories?

Fuck.

Suddenly, I felt a lot less certain. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t.

I wished I could feel something.

Anything.

I wish I could feel my heart race in terror, or the breaths the hitches, the butterflies in my stomach.

But I couldn’t, cause I only have my thoughts with me.

I wasn’t afraid of dying.

But this…

This… potential loss of identity was freaky on a whole different level. If I die, it's final. Done deal. If I got wounded here, I don’t know what I might lose.

However...

I killed myself before because I had nothing to lose. Because I was stuck in a bed with no future to speak of, to be a drain of resource that could have gone to other, more useful human beings.

I was a no one, with nothing.

But now?

I had been given a second chance.

I have a form that I can manipulate. [Essence]… No, the owners are long past, dispersed into countless pieces that couldn’t be called alive. It’s just food now.

Am I psychopathic?

Maybe.

But… its a chance.

Unlike everyone else, I’ve somehow managed to last even after death. I don’t know what kind of existence I am anymore. I am certainly not human, but it hardly matters. I am Elisa Mary Grant, and I will not lose this chance again.

So what if I lose a bit of what I was? All those precious memories of being an unwanted orphan?

I'll be damned if I were to give up here. I have no road but forward now. I've lost and wasted my past life, and I'm not about to lose this one too.

So, I swallowed the [Soul Sones] in my mouth.