Chapter 56 – Job Assignments

I laugh all the way back to my hideout.

I should probably feel a little bad about deceiving those two, but in my opinion, they deserve what’s coming for them. If they fuck with my game, I’ll fuck with theirs. I’m fully aware that what I’m doing is morally worse, but deciding to use such an underhanded method to catch me instead of just biting the sour lemon and admit to Aria about their fuck up is completely their own decision. I didn’t force them to make a bad decision, I’m only letting it happen while capitalizing on it. Being the Villain can be so satisfying sometimes.

My underlings and I make good time making our way back to the hideout. I considered just heading into an alley and start dishing out some orders, but with the increased player traffic today, I should play it as safely as possible. Besides, the Hideout is less than five minutes away, and I can afford to be a little extra cautious.

We finally make it back and head inside the rundown building. I don’t see a particular reason for us to go all the way down under the ground, so we gather ourselves inside the common room of the building. The chairs and tables are still laying haphazardly around on the floor after our fight here yesterday so we take a moment to tidy up the place and discard the furniture that’s too broken to use. I’ve been meaning to repair all the broken stuff around here, but I still haven’t gotten around to it yet. Perhaps later when I recruit a new specialist. I’m certain the Tinkerer has the requisite skills for this task. I’m sure he does, just as the rest of us have other skills we can put to use. Skills that I should put to use as soon as possible actually.

I didn’t really have time to check this earlier, but I bring up the freshly acquired jobs my Agents gathered earlier for perusal.

Drug Smuggler Struggle

Job type: Heist. Difficulty: Medium (?). Deadline: 10 Days. Rewards: 500 Experience, Alchemical Ingredients.

A minor smuggling ring is rumoured to have received a large shipment of rare and highly illegal herbs. If these herbs were to go missing, Drenerys’ underworld would lose an important source of income. This presents a golden opportunity for a new entrepreneur to make his mark on the city. That is, if one is bold enough to take it.

Do you wish to accept this job?

The Funeral of Fabian ‘FunBags’ Shirebaggin

Job type: Heist. Difficulty: Hard. Deadline: 5 Days. Rewards: 800 Experience, A set of Armor.

The world-renowned Bard and Gambler, Fabian ‘Funbags’ Shirebaggin, recently passed away surrounded by his family and loved ones. Fabian was truly loved by the people, and his funeral will be a public spectacle of epic proportions. Fabian will be wearing his custom-made set of armor which is told to bring him luck both on the stage and at the poker table. A common saying among Thief Lords is that the dead has no need for luck. Perhaps the armor needs a new owner?

*Hint* Fabian’s Corpse is guarded by three of his relatives in the crypts below the cathedral.

Do you wish to accept this job?

These jobs are not bad at all. Sometimes I do love that this is indeed a game; and since it’s a game, the game offers a lot of convenient solutions. It’s almost as if the game read my mind earlier when I said I needed some new gear as well as more ingredients for my Poisoner. Those two are currently my main shortcomings, and the game responds as ordered. I love it. If only real life was like this...

I’m a little disappointed none of them are of the easy difficulty as I’m still a little reluctant about sending my underlings off to tackle a medium difficulty job on their own. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have too much problem doing it, but I fear they would sustain a couple of casualties during the process. I could come with, of course, but joining my underlings on jobs isn’t always an effective use of my time. Training and developing my skills is vital for my success down the road or else I suffer, but I need to keep in mind that I have other obligations as well. I only really gain experience for completing the job and I get that even if I’m not present. I have faith in Cobra. With his new gear, he should be like a combat machine.

I do notice something slightly different though. On the funeral job, the game seems to have both removed the question mark behind the job difficulty rating as well as adding a hint at the end. The hint gives me some pretty interesting information. It’s helpful, but not overly so to make the job much easier. I believe this is the result of my Beggar ranking up to a tier two Swindler.

I frown, allowing myself to slip into deep thoughts. These are tough decisions to make. I do have a lot of powerful underlings now, but all of them are at least a level below me, and my latest two Spotters are still only level one. There are a lot of them though, and their gear is a notch above average. I like to consider myself a cautious person, but someday I’ll just have to face the fact than I’m really not. It feels like I do nothing but take chances these days, and I’m not really following the careful game style I had when I was playing as a necromancer. I’m not sure if I’m just being impatient because I just started over, or if the intensity of the big city is starting to get to me, but I have to admit that I feel a lot more alive when taking risks. It’s stupid, but fun. When I look at it this way, I don’t see a reason why I shouldn’t take a couple of chances. I’m playing this game to enjoy myself after all. Why shouldn’t I live a little? Within reason, of course. I still won’t play a hand with impossible odds, and I certainly won’t risk a game-over scenario.

Shaking my head with a grin, I take a look around the room. My underlings are all sitting at attention, anticipating my orders. I let my gaze wander over the gathered crowd as I subconsciously take a mental inventory of their gear and assets. This should be doable. My eyes fall on my Lieutenant last. The burly and nondescript-looking human fighter sits with his feet on the table, casually cleaning his fingernails with a rusty dagger. Cobra is the pride of my outfit which should come as no surprise since he is the only one of my underlings who has a semblance of a personality. I’ve come to learn his personality is pretty superficial, usually limited to talk about his immediate desires like prostitution or violence, but at least he is loyal and fairly autonomous. I haven’t talked much to the guy during these past few days, and sometimes I wonder if there is more to his personality than I think. Hell, now is as good a time as any to figure it out, isn’t it?

“Hey Cobra, how are you holding up?” I ask my Lieutenant.

The elite fighter raises both his eyebrows, sheathing his dagger. “I’m doing just fine, boss. No reason to complain. Why are you asking?”

“Ah, nothing much really. Just wanted to know if you are up for a bit of a challenge.” I smile.

“Challenge, eh? Count me in, boss.” He grins, giving me his full attention. His grin quickly drops though. “Unless it’s-”

“It’s nothing sexual. Stop asking about it.” I frown. Perhaps I’m mistaken. I should have seen that joke coming from a mile away.

“Then tell me who to stab, boss!” He grins as if nothing’s wrong.

Shaking my head lightly, I do my best to conceal a grin of my own. While Cobra may be annoying, his positive and can-do attitude is rather infectious. You just can’t help but smile at his antics.

“I want you to lead the assault on the Drug Smugglers. Think you can handle it?” I ask. Thankfully, my Lieutenant seems to be fully aware of the job description for some reason. Game logic reigns supreme!

“Sure thing, boss! The boys and I can handle anything. How do you want it done?.” He guffaws, leaning further back in his chair.

I smile. “Preferably as stealthy as possible, but don’t be afraid to use violence. I recommend you-”

“Got it, boss! Same procedure as always then?” He chuckles.

I frown. What the hell? Is even NPCs interrupting me now? That’s incredibly rude. “Same procedure? What do you mean by that?”

Cobra raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, boss. Just do the same thing we always do.”

“And that is?”

He sighs. Can he sigh? “Come on, boss. I’ve only known you for a little less than a week, but I’ve been by your side for almost every hour, every day. I’d have to be an idiot not to learn from a great tactician like you, boss.” He says evenly. Huh. That’s odd. I don’t even think that was sarcasm. Is he fucking with me? Can NPCs really learn from player behaviour? I’m not sure what is going on, but I’m not leaving anything to chance here.

“So you’re basically copying my tactics?”

“Well, yeah. Sort of. No plan or scenario is ever the same, but your preparations usually follow the same pattern.”

“All right…” I say slowly. “If you are so confident that you have cracked the mystery box of my tactics wide open, please explain what you’ve learned.” I huff, not quite sure I believe that the NPC has already analyzed and copied my behavioural patterns.

“Of course, boss. First things first: you have us scout the surrounding area of the target location, trying to gather as much information about the building’s layout, potential entrances, the number of enemies, and escape routes. After that, you place several sentries around the perimeter to keep an eye out for enemy reinforcements or movements. Lastly: you find the thickest cluster of enemies and overwhelm them in a surprise attack, utilizing as much excessive violence as you possibly can. Isn’t that about it?” He grins confidently.

…

Son of a… That is roughly the idea of what my basic preparations are for breaching a compound. How did he figure me out this quickly? Am I really that easy to see through? Worst of all, did this fucker just make my role during heists obsolete? I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with this. “I don’t use excessive violence…” I mutter.

“Sure you don’t, boss. And I’m actually not that fond of prostitutes either.” He winks at me. How rude.

“Oh, you don’t? What a pity. I guess I’ll have to cancel the party I had planned for you boys after the successful completion of the heist. What a shame too. I had really sprung on the classy girls as well.” I say with mock sadness.

The color on Cobra’s face quickly drains. “No, no! Don’t do that boss! Did I forget to mention how magnificent your tactic is? Only a true criminal mastermind could-”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m just fucking with you Cobra. You can remove that tongue from my ass and put it to good use elsewhere.” I guffaw. It’s almost too easy to get back at the guy.

This got me thinking though. If I can train Cobra to be more efficient during heists, then what else can he do? I have to say, this is my first time really interacting with an NPC companion, and my knowledge about them is scarce. Can I teach him other things, perhaps? Maybe some magic?

“Hey, Cobra. Have you ever tried to learn using spells?” I ask carefully, eyeing his every movement.

“Magic? Nah. My pa had me tested for magic affinity when I was a little kid. No such luck, I’m afraid. I’m a magical dud, and so are most of us who choose the life of thievery when I think about it. The rule on the street is: If you know magic, you probably wouldn’t live on the street.”

Well, damn. It was worth a shot. Should have known the game lore wouldn’t allow for this loophole. If I could teach any of my underlings any of the major schools of magic, my underlings would become a terrifying force to be reckoned with. The doors to magic underlings may be forever closed, but that doesn’t mean there could be other loopholes to take advantage of. “Then how about crafting? Resource gathering?” I ask hopefully.

“Nah, sorry boss. Same thing really. My pa always said I was clumsy with anything other than a blade. I tried picking flowers for a young maiden once, prettiest girl on this side of town, I tell you. The results weren’t pretty. Might as well have handed her a handful of manure. So my pa said: ‘Son, you’re as daft as you are ugly. No craftsman will ever take you on as an apprentice’.” He shakes his head. “Now that I think about it, I never really liked the old bastard. Nevertheless, he wasn’t completely wrong, as is the story for most of the boys here. If you are talented enough to use a hammer, you probably wouldn’t be in this profession.” He sighs.

Hmm. I rub my chin. I guess I should have seen that coming. The game really doesn’t like loopholes, does it? Nevertheless, I had to try. There is only one thing left to try though. “Then how about traps? Think you can at least place a few of them?”

Cobra’s eyes light up. “Sure thing, boss! I may not be talented enough to make them, but these fingers can do more than pleasure a woman.” He winks.

Aww, hell yeah! Jackpot! I quickly fish out a few basic glue and acid traps out of my inventory and put them on the table between us. “Do you know how to place them?”

Cobra scratches his chin. “Yeah, I think so, boss. I’ve seen you dabble with the blasted things plenty over these past few days. I might not be able to do it as fast as you, but I think I’ll manage.”

“Splendid. Use these traps as you see fit, but I recommend you set up one of the glue traps near your most likely escape route. And for the love of god, make sure none of these other idiots accidentally set them off.”

He guffaws. “I’ll keep them in check. Don’t worry about it.”

“Good.” I say, leaning back in my chair. “Now, what the hell are you waiting for? Those smugglers sure as hell won’t rob themselves. Get to it!”

“Sure thing, boss.” He chuckles. He gets to his feet and turns towards the rest of my underlings who sit idle nearby. “All right you lazy sacks of shit! The boss gave us a job, and if I see any of you saggy shit-for-brains slack off for even one second, I’ll personally kick all your teeth in. Am I making myself clear!?” He shouts. My underlings seem a little taken back, but they quickly gather themselves and grab their weapons.

“O-rah!” They shout in unison before they all get to their feet. Not one to waste time, Cobra takes the lead and heads outside. I sit still for a minute, waiting for the room to fully empty.

I have to say, I didn’t really expect this neat little feature. If Cobra can be this autonomous, it should open up a whole series of potential development paths. I really can’t wait to unlock a second Lieutenant. If I keep going at this pace, I should definitely unlock another one before I hit level twenty. The question is: How far can they go?

No matter. I’ll discover these things as I go along. I’ve been slacking for long enough as it is already and I have a ton of things to do. While Cobra is off completing the job, I should head north to the Craftsmen’s District and see if Odin has any new trap schematics for me. I should probably start working on those alarm traps that I tricked Greg and Kevin to order as well.

I chuckle. Playing as a Thief Lord, I can’t say that I really ever thought I would end up having customers.