《Best Offence》Chapter 7
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"Do we need to pack the Thestral Hairs?" Annabelle called out as I frantically dumped armfuls of books into an expanded trunk.
"No. Hogwarts has those there. We can get them fresh." I yelled out before just tipping the bookshelf over so everything fell into the trunk. Organization could come when we didn't have a hit squad making its way towards us.
A few books didn't make it in, but I found myself not particularly caring. I could always buy other ones while gone. We were on a time limit. If they surrounded the house it would become a waiting game. They wouldn't be able to get in my house. It would take a dozen High Wizards to be able to even attempt assaulting my place while its defenses were up.
Hitting us in transit would be their better option. We had to move soon.
"Should I pack my Super Nintendo?" Lee asked.
"No, Hogwarts doesn't have TV's." I responded.
"Should I pack-" Annabelle started but I cut her off.
"We don't have time for this! Just throw what's safe to grab inside all at once and then we gotta head out!"
The sound of a bunch of glass bottles clanging together suddenly echoed through the house. I mentally ran my mind through the list. Clothes were good. Books done. Potion ingredients stored. We were set.
"I'm gonna send a message to Chiron. Get the luggage to the door." I called out as I pulled out my wand.
We didn't have the Knight Bus over in America but the California area did have Chiron. I opened my front door, held up my wand, and uttered a spell.
The sound of rapid comping of hooves echoed down the street a few moments later, then Chiron and his chariot rounded the corner.
I shake my head at the sight of the centaur. The chariot was a pristine example of a classic Roman chariot, if it had been decorated by a 12 year old that loved Hot Wheels. The entire thing was a bright red with blue and green flames painted along the wheels. The centaur himself wore a denim jacket and a Nirvana t-shirt on his torso. He reached up, removed the Walkman from his ears, flipped his Fabio like hair over his shoulder and looked at me through his aviator sunglasses.
"Where we heading?" His voice came, sounding every inch like one of the beach bums.
"We need to get to LAX as fast as you can get us there. Fair warning, we are being pursued." I said, reaching into a pocket and rummaging around for payment.
"A run and gun?" The centaur said, removing his sun glasses to stare at me, eyes sparkling with glee. "Righteous! It costs extra though."
I find what I'm looking for and remove a handful of coins just as Annabelle and Lee come outside with the luggage. I hand the coins over to the centaur who gave them a quick count.
"Right on. So if you hop on we'll-"
"And these for a bonus if you get us there without any problems." I said as I pulled out a golden apple.
The golden apples were not so big and important as muggle legend made them out to be. They were rare, but not especially powerful. They made for a good potion ingredient but otherwise didn't see much use. Centaurs almost universally loved them though.
"Right on! Load up and you'll be safer than a surfer in the tube." Chiron stated as he started to excitedly dance on his hooves.
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I turned and gave a nod to Annabelle who started to load the luggage onto the chariot.
"Thanks Chiron." I said as we loaded up. We took our places and I muttered a sticking charm to keep the luggage and ourselves in place. "Hold on tight Lee."
The little monster was practically vibrating in excitement. "You're gonna go super fast right?"
"Sure thing little man!" Chiron said, slipping his Walkman headphones back on his head.
My face soured. I missed my car already.
"And here we go!" He yelled, starting his dash down the street. In moments our surroundings began to blur at the sides, going far faster than any residential street should allow. I tightened my grip as Lee's mad cackling began to send Annabelle into giggles too.
I tightened my grip and muttered under my breath, "This is why I have a fucking car."
The pit in my stomach was yanked to the side as the chariot took a ninety degree turn.
"Whoo!" Lee yelled. "Go faster!"
I wanted to tell him to slow down, but I had just paid him do this as fast as possible.
"You got it Goose." Chiron yelled backwards before stepping it up even further.
"Oh come on Sepi! We aren't gonna fall off, have some fun!" Annabelle yelled.
"I own a station wagon!" I yelled back, confident the statement said everything I wanted it to.
The sides of us I couldn't make anything out, though the sights before us were pretty clear, if rapidly growing larger before zipping past.
At one point I was certain I'd caught a glimpse of one of the Midas Order's goons on the street, but they were gone just as quickly. It was probably a trick of my mind.
I still started placing protections on our luggage and clothes. It was temporary stuff that would be gone in a few hours, but it helped me ignore Lee and Annabelle acting like this was some kind of roller coaster.
Then we slowed down and came to a stop in front of LAX. The major airport being one of the places that the muggles that knew of wizards had us place anti-apparition wards on. A wise choice, if one that meant I had to be subjected to Chiron's tender mercies.
"That was awesome!" Lee yelled and motioned wildly while I undid the sticking charm on our feet and the luggage.
"You can be my wingman anytime little man." Chiron said. "I need someone to fake being the driver of my horse sometimes because making them see my torso back there for illusions is hard sometimes. It'd be real handy if you wanted to show up sometimes for a free ride and to stop the muggles from asking for a permit or something."
"Lee is twelve. They would be more suspicious." I said with an eye roll.
"If my jedi mind tricks can make them think I'm the driver then I can get the little man some facial hair or something. We'd be good." Chiron said dismissively.
"We'll see." Annabelle piped in. Which was as good as a no, but harder to argue against.
"Come on. Grab your stuff. It's time to grab a flight." I said as we gathered our luggage, while nearby muggles found themselves wondering who took a horse and carriage to the airport.
"Chiron. Your apple." I said, tossing the golden fruit towards the centaur. Chiro caught it and immediately took a large bite of the thing.
"Righteous! You can call me any time!"
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Annabelle looked at me in angst. "You gave him one of our golden apples!? We only had three of those Sepi!" She stated in irritation.
"Well we needed to get here safe. We'll get more of them later." I said as I hefted my luggage.
"We?" Annabelle asked, "You run up and pick it while I have to fight off all the magic creatures that are attracted to the tree. I do all the heavy lifting!"
"Then I'll fight them and you can pick the apples." I said with a roll of my eyes.
Annabelle descended into angry mutterings as we approached the airport entrance. The hustle and bustle of LAX was comforting. This many people around, almost all of them muggles, we would be safe from any reprisal.
A little line waiting later and we found ourselves at the ticket counter.
"Hey, Septima Wickett." I said as I passed forward my passport. "I have a ticket to take me to London coming up next week but I've had a bit of an emergency and need to take the flight right now if possible."
The woman on the other side of the counter gave me a customer service smile that matched her dull uniform.
"I'm sorry to hear that! Well I'm gonna see what we can do for you." The woman said before typing on the computer. Several moments of efficient typing later she looked up again. "We can see about getting you some connecting flights. In the next hour we have a flight that's going to Dallas, there will be a one day layover, then it'll take you to Nashville, from there it can get you to London. All around it will take you three days." The woman said simply.
My eye twitched. Those were some long layovers with a lot of time spent sitting in airports and waiting around. If I was going to Texas I'd be expected to make an appearance to family too. On the other hand, I have been wanting Abernathy to meet Lee...
"Sounds good, but can you find a flight from Nashville that's a few days later? I just two days or so."
"Certainly." The woman behind the counter stated before clacking a few keys. "Okay, I can have you set for 7 A.M. three days after you land. Does that sound good to you?"
"Yeah. Fine." I nod. "We'll need it for the two as well." I said pacing Lee and Annabelle's passports and tickets on the counter.
Annabelle and Lee had abandoned me for the overpriced allure of the gift shop. The traitors.
The woman changed the tickets over quickly. Probably too quickly.
Ah, to live before 9/11.
I take the tickets and make my way over to Annabelle. The red-head looks up as I approach.
"What's wrong?" She asked.
I raise an eyebrow. "Nothings wrong. Flights booked, we leave in an hour."
"Mhm. Then why did your face look madder than Wampus Cat in in a rainstorm?" Annabelle said disbelieving.
I let out a growl under my breath. "We have a day long layover in Texas."
"Oh." Annabelle said before nodding. "You better give your Pa a call then."
I hang my head down and sigh before fishing in my pocket for some quarters. "Yeah, yeah."
I passed the ticket to Annabelle and waited in another line to get to a phone. I put my quarters in, dialed the memorized number, and waited a few seconds until-
"RW Telecommunications, how can I help you?" A young and professional voice asked.
"Hey Brittney, it's Septima. Is my dad in?"
"Oh my God, Septima! It's been, like, way too long!" Brittney said, losing her veneer of professionalism. A woman that sounded like that much of a Valley Girl shouldn't also be the most competent secretary my father had found in decades.
"Yeah, it has been a while. Though I am in a bit of a hurry. Can you get Dad for me?"
"Oh, totally. Give me a sec." She said, then the line went to generic hold music. Hopefully the woman wouldn't take long. At times like this I grew confident that I stayed mostly in wizard society just to avoid hold music and elevator music.
"Okay, here he is! Give a girl a call back sometime!" Brittany said before a clicking sound, then my father's baritone came over the line.
"Hey Septima." Dad said, trying to sound warm. "I'm a bit busy currently. Could this be done over a Sunday dinner or-"
"No. I had some trouble. I'm getting out of town."
The line went quiet.
"Like I need to help you make a hole in the desert kind of trouble, or you woke up in the wrong person's bed trouble?"
"Somewhere in between." I said, leaning against the booth. "Midas Order tried to jump us at the Quafilliump game. I'm sure it will be completely ignored in the paper. We got away but I'm taking the flight to London early, but I have a layover in Dallas that's supposed to be for a full day."
"Anyone hurt? I can see about hiring someone who-"
"Dad. I love you, but anyone that would work for money to protect us is probably already in the Midas Order. We're leaving the area. They aren't going to follow. Though you might want to spend some extra time with Uncle Augustus."
"Yeah that- Wait, you're headed to Dallas? I'll tell Augustus to meet you there. He's been giving me a hard time about you not coming around."
Not wanting to spend time with my Dad's family? Why on Earth would I not want to hang around such delightful people?
I was glad the phone couldn't show my eyeroll.
"That's why I called. I figured you'd give him a heads up."
"Sure. I'll place the call. Stay safe. Maybe cast a few wards on the plane while you're in flight too. Just make sure there's nothing nasty on the plane."
"Oh, yeah, good idea. Thanks." I said. My Dad did have an ability to think ahead. Though I supposed that was needed in the CEO of a billion dollar company. "I gotta go. I'll see you Christmas time at the latest."
"Yeah, sure. Stay safe Septima."
"You too Dad. Try to stick at home or the office unless you get Uncle Augustus to go with you."
"I will make sure to-" His voice trailed off. "My secretary is lingering at my door. She never lingers at my door."
"Oh. She was mentioning wanting to talk to me again." I said dismissively. "Something about wanting to hang out more."
"Hang out? She never wants to-" Dad's voice grew more tense. "Septima. Have you been fucking my secretary?"
"Uh," I said, drawing the sound out, "You know what, I'm out of quarters. I gotta go."
"Seriously? Septima, come on, I gotta work with-" I hung up the phone.
I turn and leave the phone, making my way back to my assistant and my ward.
"Well, Augustus is going to meet us in Texas." I said with a sigh. "Which means we'll be spending some time with all of the Wickett clan."
"They're not so bad." Annabelle said.
"Yeah. They have an awesome Quafiliump course in the backyard! I can actually play a little this time too!" Lee said proudly.
I wanted to point out that he didn't know any spells, but then remembered his alohomora at the stadium. The kid might actually know dozens of spells that he neglected to mention. The little shit.
"We'll see." I said Though I knew that was where it was going. The family was nice enough, really. That wasn't what I was dreading though.
xxxxxx
"It's the same thing as firing a gun!" Uncle Augustus yelled, his sun weathered face a more vibrant shade of red than usual. I was pretty sure he was glaring as well. It was hard to tell though, his face was locked in a perpetual squint.
"The hell it is!" I said throwing my arms up in the air. "It requires intent and desire! Most people won't be able to use it in self-defense!"
The fight didn't take long to erupt. We landed, saw my uncle at the unloading area. He took us outside where he had a portkey waiting. We barely got through the front door and greeted my cousins and aunt before shit got started. Uncle Augustus knew this was a sticking point for me, but he never failed to bring it up in conversation.
"The times it can be used for protection are worth it! If a wizard wants to protect his home he should-"
"He should use a gun! This is TEXAS!" I said, flopping down on the brahemith couch. The monstrously sized bull being one of Augustus' hunting trophies that had been hollowed and taxidermized to be turned into a couch, complete with head and horns coming out of one side of the couch. Sometimes I could swear I heard it moo.
"You know that there are spells that will stop a bullet dead. The safest and best way to protect yourself is to use the killing curse to stop them then and there!" Uncle Augustus said, tilting his ten-gallon hat back. "Julius. Back me up here!"
Julius, my Uncle's oldest son, was sitting on the opposite end of the room grinning like a Cheshire cat and eating handfuls of caramel covered Wishpoosh Puffs, scattering their crumbs on his flannel shirt.
"You know I agree with you, but ain't nothing on this planet gonna change THE Septima Wicketts mind. You'd have a better time yellin for the cloud to rain outside, Pa. Though maybe you should point out how the killing curse is a deterrent to people." Julius said, eyes sparkling with mirth.
"Exactly! Whose gonna break into a wizard's house when he knows he can just be Avada Kadavarad to the pearly gates on an express trip."
I gave a side eye glare at my cousin. Julius' shoulders shook in laughter at the look. I was never sure where the man sat politically, but he seemed to just live to incite arguments. He would get two people going then he would just sit back and watch the flames. Part of me wanted to walk away just to deprive him of his amusement. But...
"It darkens your magic! It leaves soul scarring on the caster! There are better spells to use! Legalizing it will just make people use it and claim self-defense!" I said, looking for my own backup and finding no one. Annabelle had taken Lee and Julius' spawn into the back yard to play right about the time my uncle was making the first comment about Killing Curse Legalization.
"Better to have that than-"
"Alright, dinner time, shut your pie-holes and come get some grub."
Deborah Wickett was a woman whose body shape showed a passion for food. She was polite but curt and mended all wrongs with a spread of gravy.
"The only thing that shuts my pie-hole is pie." Julius announced from his chair.
"Well we got that. So move your keister in here and help your wife with making plates for the brood."
"Yes ma'am." Julius said, popping up to his feet and heading to the kitchen.
I gave an angry huff and started to follow.
"Septima. Wait." Uncle Augustus said, stopping me.
I resisted groaning. I did not want to have this conversation while there was food made by Aunt Deborah in the next room ready to be eaten.
"Look, dinner is ready, so can we continue this-"
"Nah, not that." He said with a shake of his head. "I spoke with your dad. He said you were in some kind of trouble but didn't give details. I wanted to see if I could help. You're not heading into anything dangerous are you?"
My irritation drained from me and I suddenly felt so very tired.
"I'm good. I'm heading away from the danger. Got a teaching job at a boarding school in Scotland for the next year."
My uncle gave a nod of his head. "Don't stick your neck out too far if you can avoid it. We don't want Lee to- I mean...after Tiberius the family can't-" Augustus said haltingly.
I stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Nothing like that. Tiberius was a far more brave man than I. The Midas Order is nothing like the Blood Foot or the Wendigos. If I make it unprofitable, they won't expend the energy." I said in comfort.
My words did little to relax the man.
"I don't think you understand greed right Septima. The people that would buy a mithril toilet won't turn away from getting rid of an annoying enough thorn." He said with a shake of his head. "You have to be able to threaten them with a whole lot more than a loss of profit."
My gut churned. His words felt uncomfortably like truth.
"It'll be fine. I'm going to a school that has one of the most powerful wizards on the planet acting as my benefactor. It makes more sense to wait."
"I hope you're right." He said, voice pained. "Because if you're wrong while workin' at a school, it's them kids that are gonna pay."
A iced knife of anxiety stabbed into my gut, but my uncle twisted it just a bit more.
"And if these guys do show up at the school, you damn sure better use the killing curse."
With that, my uncle turned and left to go the kitchen, leaving me with ash in my mouth and bereft of appetite.
xxxxxx
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