“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”

~Helen Keller

POV - TAD

There is something enthralling about opening notifications after unlocking some achievement, completing a task or winning a battle. Especially so, when it was a hard fought victory. Not quite so much fun after a defeat. But hey, this time we were victorious. And an ambush even. An unlooked for confrontation. That [Patroller Clam] had deliberately sought us out. Picked a fight against low level opponents and then was made to pay. The ultimate price. That would teach it. Well, it was a lesson learnt too late.

With a start I realised that actually I had provoked it. I had cleaned my clothes as I bathed. And they had been soaked in clam juices. Oh. Well that changed things slightly. No wonder the beast had been furious. We had been dining on its young. Ah. I had to parse how I was feeling now. Did I feel guilty about eating clams now? Hmmm. Do I feel guilty about eating these succulent, meaty clam steaks? We had three on the grill even now. And they smelt mighty fine. Dozer flipped them. They were nearly done. Seared to perfection.

Both kits were completely bemused by my sudden misgivings. Food was food. Eating meant living. Not eating was death. Silly auntie was silly about silly things. Ah, to see the world so clearly. It is indeed a blessing of the young. I stopped tying myself in knots and slathered some butter on my piping hot steak. And there was certainly something to be said for eating that which so very recently had made a very good go of eating me. Yes. This was very much a dog eat dog system alright. But still, I refuse to let it change who I fundamentally am. It may require me to be ruthless, yes. But that did not mean I would need to be without self restraint. That I would betray my own personal ethics. A fresh [Ding] sounded as I worked through my feelings.

Congratulations!

You have been endowed with 2 HON Bonus Stat points.

As your Karma is unlocked you may allocate to your Soul Stats as you desire.

Excellent. The System acknowledged my reasoning was in keeping with my own personal integrity. Fantastic. Now let's pull up the Battle Summary again. I had just started looking at this when the [Matriarch] popped over to say hullo.

COMBAT CONCLUDED

Combat Summary

You have dealt 9148HP damage.

You have suffered 126HP damage.

You are victorious. 9022XP awarded.

You have defeated a Monster Thirty One levels higher than you. +31% to XP.

Adjusted XP awarded: 11819XP

And that was extremely weird. There was no way that my single blow had done that much damage. I was at a loss. I wasn’t able to group up with the kits because the System still classified them as monsters. And they had done the majority of the damage once Dozer had broken in using my Spade of Penetration.

The memory of her wielding it still sent frissions down my spine. It had been as confusing as anything. It had felt like she had gripped the very innermost part of my Soul and was using it to hammer away at the shell. I had had trouble distinguishing what was happening. Where I started and stopped. And perhaps that was it. The damage the Spade had done was being attributed to me even though Dozer was the one doing the work. I pulled up the play by play notifications. Yes. She was bludgeoning the shell with me.

[Dozer] hits [Patroller Clam] with [Tad] for 756HP damage.

[Penetrating Blow] activated.

99% of [Natural Armour] negated.

Damage dealt tripled.

Ha, that was completely bizarre.

I couldn’t see any other notifications as the twins weren’t in my party, but based on what I estimated the total HP of the Clam to be and with a percentage increase of 29% the kits looked to have gotten over 7000XP each from the battle. That one fight had advanced them from Level 3 to Level 5 and probably exceedingly close to Level 6. If there hadn’t been that weird allocation because Dozer used my SOP they would have definitely jumped to Level 6 already.

I spent a few more minutes [Advanced Meditating] on this. And they only needed about 110XP each to get to Level 6. But now killing Level 2 clams would attract a penalty because they were lower levelled. Hmmm. I had never fought a lower levelled foe. In the best case there would be a 3% penalty. This did not sit right. No, as I continued [Advanced Meditating] on it I predicted there would most likely be a 10% penalty per level difference. So at Level 5 they would suffer a reduction of 30% XP and instead of gaining 40XP per clam it would only be 28XP. Still that was only another four clams each and they would be Level 6. We didn’t need the food at the moment as we had over 30 steaks. But as I watched the kits pop their thirds on the grill, I realised these were disappearing fast. They could certainly pack them away. And of course they had just levelled up twice and had another growth spurt.

I trotted down to the store and picked up another baker's dozen. It was a no brainer. No risk, no danger and still great rewards. They would be Level 6 in the next hour or so. That was totally going to blow Ssrah’s socks off. I couldn’t wait for her to return. Not because I was sick of babysitting. No, not at all. In fact it was reaching the stage where they were babysitting me. No, I was enjoying kicking around with the kits. They made this lonesome existence bearable. In fact I think I would have gone completely bonkers, had I not had this interaction. I couldn’t wait simply because I wanted to see the look on her face when she met her all grown-up kits. And it wasn’t like she had missed out on their babyhood. No they were still just three seasons old, still just as young and immature as ever. They still wanted and needed their mother. They were simply stronger and more able to defend themselves. More likely to survive. And Level 6 in this Level 1 Plane was a very respectable achievement.

Of course there were still dangers. Dangers in being swamped with greater numbers. Dangers of running into some outlier of a Monster. One who somehow managed to survive in this low Essence plane.

I had formed a hypothesis. The kits were super hungry because their bodies required more and more Essence as they grew. And as they grew larger and stronger they required more just to keep pace with the higher upkeep their higher level bodies required. And if there were only low level sources of food, then the XP penalties would prevent them from growing. Unless, there was some other way they could level up. And obviously the [Patroller Clam] had some other source. And it could easily have been a millennia old as well. I was getting my head around this new way of things.

And I was approaching this new concept very carefully. For it meant that my initial assumption that my parents and my sister were long dead, simply from old age, was completely wrong. And while there were plenty of dangers that may have prevented them surviving, there was still that possibility that they did survive. That they thrived even. And hope infused my being. Not just the casual ‘I hope this happens or that happens.’

No, this was more the complete surety of hope. The hope that will happen. That cannot but come to pass. It was beyond hoping against hope, simply clinging to the possibility that they had survived. And it was not just hoping for the best. No, true hope is that confident expectation, that definite anticipation of that which is happening will happen. It is the hope of 'when,' not the hope of 'if.'

And my Soul rejoiced even as my Mind tried to catch up. There was a jump in my logic that I could not quantify. But I knew. And it thrilled and inspired me. I will see them again. And I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that they would be searching for me. That they would not stop. They would not give up.

And neither would I.

With fresh vigour I chowed down on my second steak.

And now it was time to look at some of the other notifications that came out of the battle in the deep.

Congratulations!

You have been endowed with 2 STA Bonus Stat points.

As your Constitution is unlocked you may allocate to your Body Stats as you desire.

Hmmm. Maybe from slow motion drowning? Yes, I’d take that.

Congratulations!

You have been endowed with 4 SPI Bonus Stat points.

As your Karma is unlocked you may allocate to your Soul Stats as you desire.

Ahhh. Probably from stretching my Soul and calling my Spade through Soul space. That had certainly been the only reason I had survived. Without [Penetrating Blow], there was no way we would have been able to get past the clam’s natural defences. That had been the game changer.

Congratulations!

You have been endowed with 4 IMA Bonus Stat points.

As your Wisdom is unlocked you may allocate to your Mind Stats as you desire.

Now, what had triggered this? Nothing was immediately obvious. I dropped into a deeper [Advanced Meditation]. Ever since I had reached the proficiency of [Journeyman] in the Skill, I had noticed there were degrees of [Meditation]. A shallow or light [Meditation], which allowed me to ruminate without losing awareness of my surroundings. This was helpful when I had an issue to chew over and also a task to complete. Then there was the more standard [Meditation], which was more focused and concentrated. I had much less of an awareness of things happening outside my thoughts but it was not that onerous to alert me. My passive [Observation] Skill was not quite there. But soon it would be.

And then there was deeper [Meditation]. This was significantly more intense. Time had no meaning. Outside disturbances dropped completely away. It would take considerable effort to rouse me. There was no way I would feel comfortable doing this out in the open by myself. But here, with the kits, inside the sphere of the campfire, I was confident enough to really delve into this question.

I activated my Gallifreudian Perk to really optimise the activity. And the answer was staring me in the face. I had extended my Perk during the battle. I had enlarged it. I had imagined it increasing and including the Clam in my slowed down subjective reality. And the System had acknowledged my Imaginations. I had manipulated my Perk. I had done Magic. Oh Boy. I brought my [Meditation] to a close. Only a few seconds had passed. The kits were just finishing off their thirds and starting to cook up the first two clams.

Ohboy alright. I was breathless. I was struggling to contain myself. Today was absolutely awesome. I had hope. I had joy.

I had magic.

I wanted to jump, to shout and sing and dance.

I looked at the twins.

They looked at me.

They could already feel my jubilation.

What the hey.

I jumped to my feet. I danced in a circle. I hugged them both. We all danced some more. They were totally curious what had brought this on. I was delirious. It was hard to communicate with words. They were happy with just feeling my emotions. I told them with my thoughts and feelings. They were overjoyed for me. I was the cleverest, bestest, smartest magicest Auntie ever.

It was wonderful.

And I knew the first way I wanted to explore and develop my Magic.

I would embrace the heritage bestowed by my Perk. I would explore time magic. TimeLord Tad. Yes. It resonated. I would learn [Slow] and [Haste] and who knows what else would unlock. I had time to explore. Time to enjoy. Time to celebrate. Time to make.

My eyes widened.

Time and Space.

They felt linked. Oh Yes, I would so get a TARDIS. It was inevitable. I remember Nige’s enthusiasm for The Doctor’s legacy. Ohboy, ohboy! I understood so much more now.

And I felt wrung out. Too many emotions. Too much excitement. I was shattered.

I opened the last notification from the Clambush.

> >

Oh. And that was why I had been able to sense the other Ottos’ thoughts back in the confrontation so clearly. And it was a Rare Skill too. And I only had one spare Skill slot and I hadn’t unlocked a Magic Skill yet. Arrggghhh. This would be super helpful in communicating with the Ottos. I wanted to take it. But I needed a clear spot for a Magic Skill.

Arrggghhh again.

But this was a good problem to have.

I would spend tonight [Meditating]. Deciding on my Skill mix.

Yes. Today had been a good day.

It was time, heh, for some Cultivation of the Soul.