"Onion!" cried the purple onion in abhorrence. What had it just witnessed? This terrible thing could not stand!

Bounty Star rushed forward, her pink body suit gleaming in the mid-day sun. She threw herself sideways to avoid the surprise attack of the beast, a noxious gust of poisonous gas shot across the rooftop in a virulent stream.

"Eww!" cried Bounty Star in disgust. "That's gross, bro!"

"Onion!" cried the onion. It stopped one of its comically undersized root feet at her in a bold and obstinate manner. How dare she saw something like that! It was an affront to the very core of its dignity. No murderous undead hamburger accessory should have to take such a thing lying down. So, in order to show his dislike for her tasteless mannerisms, the purple onion cried out its name once more then hurled itself skyward.

Bounty Star's eyes widened comically as the shadow of the onion's bulbous booty came crashing down atop her. She narrowly avoided being crushed by the incoming onion by once again artfully throwing herself to the side.

"Oh! That's it! You're gonna get it now pal!" exclaimed the love mercenary.

While the onion tried to right itself, she proceeded to spin around in a circle. She also began to speak in time with her movements.

"Gorgeous..." she said in a powerfully echoing voice. A bombastic musical score that combined electronic dance music with orchestral melodies began to play replete with French horns, a tuba, and the sound of a sweet keytar.

Pink and blue streaks of light began to flare outward from her body. She gripped her left forearm with her right hand then whipped them both upwards toward the sky as she completed her revolution. "Mercenary..."

The streaks of light flew upwards then converged at one point above her fist.

"On-Onion?" asked the now startled creature. Onion finished getting back onto its little root feet just in time for Bounty Star to bring her hand back down.

She thrust her hand forward. "Plasma..."

"Explode!" she cried out with great zeal. The violent ball of shockingly pink energy erupted outward and shot toward the wobbling Onion. It struck with incredible ferocity and actually lifted the beast into the air.

In fact, it hit Onion so hard, and so fast that he was knocked off the root and continued to fly away. He had only enough time to scream out, "Mama!" the only word it had bothered to say besides onion, then disappeared in the distance. Strangely, a little flash of light winked back at Bounty Star from afar and a massive transparent image of a crying onion appeared in the sky briefly before it too faded away.

"Ha! Serves you right!" said Bounty Star with a nod of her head.

"Goodness! What a disreputable child," called out a vaguely familiar feminine voice.

Bounty Star quickly spun around in place then took in quite the interesting sight. A woman who looked strangely similar to her friends Vita and Chaine floated in the air above her. She wore an elaborate gown of primarily red and black, and held a glowing staff in her hands.

"Certainly your mother did not raise you to pick on defenseless onions," said the strangely beautiful woman as she hovered in the air above the roof top.

"Leave my mother out of this!" cried Bounty Star. She then took a half-step forward and called out, "Oh, and by the way, who are you?"

"Such a tactless girl... Oh how your mother must have failed you," said the woman, before she released a long suffering sigh. "Motherhood is such a thankless job at times."

"Stop bringing up my mother! Who are you?" asked Bounty Star, her anger rising.

"Again?" The flying woman floated closer to the possible heroine of this tale. "Were you never taught that you should introduce yourself before you ask another person for their name?"

"Uh!" Bounty Star's eyes widened. A polite possible villain? This was new. They usually made fun of her outfit and made lewd gestures due to her girlish figure. "Right! Well... my name's Bounty Star."

The flying woman frowned delicately at her. "Very well, if you wish to use your code name then I will do the same."

She flew backwards then up into the air and held her arms wide. "I am Saelil Lothuialeth, Queen of Darkness, Empress of Depravity! I am she who is destined to rule this world!"

Bounty Star's eyes went wide. "Wow. That's some destiny!"

"Why of course it is!" cried out Saelil, her laughter pealing across the rooftop like thunder.

"As if!" exclaimed Bounty Star. "I'll never let you win!"

"You intend to stop me little one?" asked Saelil in a smug tone. Her gull-white eyebrow arched into the air as she acquired a coy little smile. "Aren't you a little under dressed for battle?"

"There it is!" snapped Bounty Star. "Everywhere I go! No one takes a female hero seriously unless she's wearing a damned parka or something," said Bounty Star. She snapped her fingers dismissively then enunciated a laugh. "Ha. Ha. I'll kick your ass and wear a pink bodysuit doing it, so there!"

"Such language! You shame your mother!" cried Saelil, before she unleashed a torrent of lightning and flames down upon the roof top.

"Aiyee!" screamed Bounty Star as she tried desperately to dodge the heavy incoming firepower. She jumped to the left. She jumped to the right. She leapt upwards and performed a surprisingly agile mid-air split in order to dodge a fireball. All the while she cried out things like. "Hot! Hot!" or "Why me!"

Bounty Star tried to use her Gorgeous Mercenary Plasma Explosion, but she had no time to perform a fancy dance move. Soon she was tired, singed, and her hair was just a total mess! How cruel could this wicked queen be?

Forced to her knees atop the roof, Bounty Star panted heavily. Her chest heaved up and down in a startlingly well detailed bit of fan service while she stared reproachfully up at the flying woman.

"Time out, kay?" asked Bounty Star with sparkles in her eyes.

"Of all the..." Saelil frowned down at the girl, absolute disgust in her eyes. "I know you were raised better than this, girl. Have you even been eating your breakfast?"

"Hey! I at least get a little toast in the morning, thank you. And I did just eat lunch! I can't help it if you ran me ragged," groused Bounty Star.

"Oh, so you do know how to say thank you?" asked the queen cryptically.

"Eh?" asked Bounty Star in confusion. "What-evs, are we done here? I'm so over this..."

"Such weakness..." Saelil's left eye-lid twitched spastically. "I'll purge it from your body with the most delightfully crafted pain!"

Magical energy swirled around the crystal in her staff as Saelil prepared to lash out at Bounty Star once more. However, destiny had something else in store.

"Don't give up Bounty Star!" A yellow flower shaped ball of energy flew through the air gracefully then smacked the queen right in the face. An explosion of yellow mist and flower petals wafted outward followed by the queen falling to the ground in a heap. She wobbled in place and clutched at her head.

"No. No... I don't wanna go to the party mommy," said the dark queen while she wobbled. Her eyes were wide now, and a warm smile crossed her lips.

"Who?" asked Bounty Star.

She looked all around, but it took a moment to see her savior. A blue haired guy with a fluffy and equally blue tail finished crawling up onto the roof from the side. He work a disheveled looking tuxedo and a goofy looking mask with the letter 'F' emblazoned on the center of its forehead.

"Sure... I can go if all my friends are going. Friends are lovely, mommy..." said Saelil with an amused titter.

"You?" she said, her eyes beginning to sparkle. Her voice changed suddenly, however. "You're that weird stalker who always tries to butt into my fights and give me advice!"

"Now. Now... You know my name is Friendship Mask..." said the masked man.

"I don't care if your name is Salty Pete, I have a restraining order against you!" she cried.

"Pfft. As if modern justice can keep apart our destined one thousand years of love," said the masked man.

"Eww," said Bounty Star.

"How many times have I saved you? All I get is that attitude," groused Friendship Mask.

"You only did it once, and I never asked you to save me! I don't need some creepy weirdo pretending to be my friend when he doesn't even know me," she railed.

Saelil continued to giggle and wobble in place. "Oh, what a lovely tea party. Teehee."

"Who says I'm pretending? Huh?" shouted Friendship Mask. "Just because I don't feel comfortable showing you the real me, doesn't mean I don't want to get to know the real you."

"Who says I want you to know the real me? I wear this suit because I know creeps like you are going to look anyway. So, I might as well use that to my advantage and prove myself right!" snarled Bounty Star.

Friendship Mask spoke in a serious, quiet, tone. "I make stupid jokes, but am I really all that creepy?"

"Sometimes..." she said softly. Bounty Star looked down at the scorched roof top. "Though, I guess it's just that I can't trust someone who has the power to make friends so easily, but won't show me his real face."

"Can you show me yours?" he asked her quietly.

"I show my face all the time," she replied.

"Do you really?" Friendship Mask asked in a calm and sincere tone. "I'm here for you, whether you believe it or not."

"Here for me?" she asked heatedly.

"Here for me?" she practically snarled.

"Where were you for most of my life? Where were you when I needed someone to save me most! Huh? You were watching some dumb bitch who looked like me run around on a monitor while you lusted after her ass," she roared.

"My home! My family. Everyone I ever loved is gone; even my foster family abandoned me!" Bounty Star glared angrily at him. "Who the fuck are you to think you can just show up and act like you give a damn about me!"

Friendship Mask reached out his hand and offered her a gentle smile. "I'm just some guy who wants to be your friend, and possibly perve on you every now and then for his own amusement."

"God dammit," muttered Bounty Star. "Why are you always ruining things with those stupid jokes?"

"Can you blame me, really? You're not exactly hard to look at," remarked the masked man.

"Is that really all you see in me?" she asked with a snort.

"When will you ever let me see something else? A man who is interested in a woman has to take what he can get from her freely of her own will," replied the masked man. "Being in your life is one thing. Forcing you to be my woman is another."

"Yeah, forcing yourself into my life really makes me want to open up to you," she muttered. She ignored the crack about becoming his woman.

"Why else would you even bother to talk to me? Anyone for that matter," remarked the masked man. "You wear that power armor to keep everything else out. Not just super sexy masked weirdoes like me."

"Right. So, you know I don't want to be involved with you beyond business matters," she replied coolly.

Friendship Mask offered a warm chuckle. "As I recall, you stripped naked then pulled a gun on me and demanded my pants."

She choked a little then snorted. "You would never have touched me."

"Of course not," he replied. "We both know I'm not that sort of guy."

Bounty Star sighed loudly. "Why can't you be that kind of guy? It would make it easier..."

"To keep pushing me away?" asked Friendship Mask.

"All you want to do is fuck me," she retorted. "We could have gotten it over with, and you could have farted off to parts unknown after getting what you wanted."

"It's not like you don't want to fuck me," he countered. "We both know that deep down you were hoping I would do something we'd both regret that day."

"Fucking pervert..." she mumbled. Though, she did not openly deny his words.

"Do you really think that of me?" he asked her quietly.

"Do you deny it?" she countered.

"Hell no," he said lightly.

She let out a quiet little laugh. "We're not friends. We damned sure aren't lovers. We will never be anything but business associates."

Friendship Mask did not answer. She looked around briefly, but he had disappeared.

She lowered her eyes as his words came back to her. "Always be there for me, huh? Fucking liar..."

"Language, little girl! Mama doesn't like it when you swear," said the familiar voice of Saelil.

Bounty Star turned back toward the dark queen. The friendship bomb had worn off and she was back on her feet once more. The quiet introspective nature of Samantha's existence withdrew and once more she became the Gorgeous Mercenary of Love, Bounty Star.

"No way!" Bounty Star cried as Saelil began to rise into the air. Round two of the battle had begun.