NOTIFICATIONS

You have learned Basic Mathematics.

Basic Mathematics has leveled up

Basic Mathematics has leveled up

You have learned Intermediate Mathematics.

Basic mathematics has leveled up

You have learned Observation.

Basic mathematics has leveled up

Intermediate mathematics has leveled up

You have learned Coerce Bees.

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After clearing my notifications, a stat screen showed up.

STATUS

Creature Type

Animated Beehive

Age - 3

Mass – 80 grams

A normally inanimate object, this object was overloaded with mana and infused with a wandering soul somehow. Animated objects are rare, but a great prize for alchemists and enchanters, as their base materials are extremely valuable for making magical items.

SKILLS

Basic Mathematics Rank 4

Intermediate Mathematics Rank 1

Observation Rank 0

Coerce Bees Rank 0

After looking at it for a while, suddenly everything made sense. Or not..

What was this, a cosmic joke? Am I chopped liver to you? No, that's right, I couldn't bee, I'm a frigging beehive. Sigh.

And don't throw a fuss about me sighing, either, it's not my fault someone neglected to give me the ability to breathe! It's a mental sigh, and I deserve it!

I don't know what's worse, the fact that I became a beehive, or the fact it apparently took me 3 years to figure it out.

After ranting about the injustice of the universe to myself for a while, and cussing out every divinity I could think of, I gave up and decided to figure out what I could do with my new skill, coerce bees. It had become obvious that the buzzing I felt was bees. Maybe I could figure out how to do something.

After mentally yelling “COERCE BEES”, trying to meditate on the nature of bees, drawing mental pictures of bees, and various other failed attempts at using my new skill, I figured it out.

I focused really hard on the background humming sound, and politely asked the bees to help me make honey. I felt a strange click, like gears locking into place, then a strand of something spun out of me and formed into a complex set of patterns, then a few strands spun off of that and latched on to something. Suddenly, I was seeing stuff!

It was so surprising it took me quite a while to figure out what I was seeing. Suddenly being blindsided by actually being able to see after three years was quite startling after all. The view was quite blurry, but I could see a very bright light, a large room with lots of plants, and a number of figures stumbling about the light around the edges of the room. My new BeeVisionTM was really grainy beyond a foot or so, but I watched my new favorite bee grab some nectar from a flower, then turn around and fly... back... towards... one of the shambling figures.

As we got closer, I could see more of the figure. It was a desiccated corpse with plant bits growing out of holes in its flesh. I became more and more unnerved and upset the farther my new least favorite bee traveled. It landed on the zombie thing, and... crawled inside a hole in it's chest. From there, I could clearly see a beehive

From there, the bee crawled onto the hive and spit nectar into a cell, and my vision went black.

Nooooooooooo! That's gross! Why do I have to be a beehive in a zombie? I demanded a refund before, but now I don't even want my money back! I want off Mr. Bones's Wild Ride! I want off Mr. Bones's Wild Ride! I want off Mr. Bones's Wild Ride! I want off Mr. Bones's Wild Ride! I want off Mr. Bones's Wild Ride! I want off Mr. Bones's Wild Ride!

After mentally screaming incoherently for a while, I calmed down a bit. Despite my situation, I had a tool with which I could affect my escape. A really terrible tool. At least 12 bees. It is a time for calm and steady work. Deep imaginary breaths, Brian. You don't have to freak out.

And so I unleashed the bees. Operation Freedom was at hand!. Frigging nasty though.