Big day. I was at the Alchemist’s Guild, waiting to be summoned. I sat in the waiting room.

I had sentenced my illiterate friends to literacy. That should keep them busy for a while. Not being able to read was simply unacceptable.

No wonder I wasn’t getting enough feedback for the advanced functions I had embedded in their enchanted rings.

And swimming… I sighed. Ellin and Corgas, yes. Grastel? Barely. Everyone else, no. I had to lug them to a lake or a beach when it became possible. I imagined Violet wearing a bikini.

The Guild Master’s door creaked open.

「GM: Ah, Allen! What a pleasure! Please do come inside.」

The cougar GM invited me in with allusive wording. I bet it was intentional. I grimaced internally while walking in and sitting on the free chair.

「GM: So, I heard you faced a body-stealing demonic spirit. Oh my!」

Damn gossip. But this time, I had come prepared. I had on me one of those mind-protecting rings we produced. The old hag wasn’t going to pry unnecessary details from my lips with her sneaky magics.

「Allen: Yes.」

She smiled. There goes my attempt to keep a low profile. At least the one under the floodlights was Ellin. She, the one who had vanquished the demon. I was a mere bystander, not worthy of notice. Good.

「GM: How exciting!」

「Allen: I would gladly do with less excitement, to be honest.」

I was much more comfortable when the challenge was adequate to my level, as a proper isekai novel.

After all these long months, every day seemed to make more certain that I was the first and only otherworlder to cross over from my original world. I had kept some reservations at first. After all, there were some parallels in naming things. For example, this world was called Gaia. That’s the Greek name for Earth’s embodiment.

It seemed a pretty big coincidence. Despite that, I had found no trace of mentions of any historical, or current, language I knew about. No traces of staple foods from my world. There were only tangential naming coincidences, but not enough to suggest someone had come over and named things.

Perhaps I truly was the first otherworlder to get here, but there was an obvious connection to the other world. What sort of connection?

If there’s only one isekai hero, then there’s no doubt that he’s the protagonist. A comforting thought. Even if someone came later, as the first I had seniority claim to the role of protagonist.

So, do I have plot armor? It was probably best not to grow too complacent. After all, the Creator might just be waiting for me to lower my guard only to shove another unpleasant event right up my butt.

「GM: And you have ties with the royal palace. Hmm.」

She didn’t seem discouraged by that at all. Worse, it looked like her lust was increasing. This is bad.

「Allen: Indeed. Would you mind showing me to the master I was assigned to? I must apologize for the delay.」

「GM: Oh, I’m sure you’ll find old Zavir doesn’t mind. He’s not one to hold grudges.」

She said, waving it away as if inconsequential. She sighed and stood up, walking out of her office. I followed. I thought she would lure me into some empty room to try to sexually harass me or something. Instead, she waved to a clerk.

「GM: Please, introduce Zavir to his new apprentice, Allen Smith.」

The clerk nodded and motioned me to follow. But before I could move, the cougar tapped my arm.

「GM: And remember… If you don’t find the arrangement suitable, I’m sure we can discuss a different accommodation.」

I’ll keep that in mind, old hag.

「Allen: I’ll keep that in mind, ma’am.」

I replied with a polite nod, then I followed the clerk, thankful I was finally distancing myself from the awkwardness.

We climbed a flight of stairs and walked down a bunch of corridors. I hoped I would remember the way back. The clerk knocked at a door, the nameplate said “Zavir Nedomar”. I wondered if this Alchemist also had a shop in the commercial district, like others I had seen, or if he only worked inside the Guild.

And so I met old Zavir.

「Zavir: Ah? Yes?」

I thought he would be some kind of insane sadist or the like. But when the GM had said old, she really meant it.

Zavir looked ancient. He looked a century years old, which–depending on how strong his mana had been and was–could mean several centuries.

「Clerk: Master Zavir. I bring your newly appointed apprentice, Allen Smith.」

The clerk motioned me to go on and left without further ado.

「Zavir: A new apprentice? Hmm, wonderful!」

「Allen: Pleased to meet you, master.」

「Zavir: Hm-hmm.」

Silence ensued. I waited respectfully.

I waited some more, but the old man still sat on his chair, staring at nothing in particular.

「Allen: So, Uhm… What do I need to do, master?」

Zavir shook his head and fixed me.

「Zavir: Sorry. Who are you?」

I felt a sinking sensation.

「Allen: Allen smith… Your new apprentice.」

「Zavir: Oh wondrous, a new apprentice!」

He blinked a few times then asked…

「Zavir: What potions can you brew, then?」

「Allen: Night sight, mana potions, and health potions.」

「Zavir: Ah… Fresh from the Academy, are you? We’ll start with a healing potion. A real one, not the training recipe…」

Training recipe? I knew it, damn it! I had been suspecting. It was too good to be true that they would let you know the proper recipe. No wonder my potions were less effective.

He stood up and made a few steps. Then stopped.

「Allen: Master, is everything alright?」

「Zavir: What was I doing?」

He said, looking lost.

My refurbished master alchemist had gone senile.

That was the catch.

Following my new master’s example, I peered at the emptiness before me.

My anger was rising.

Since master Zavir quickly forgot about me, I headed back for another round with the cougar. I had to go through the queue again.

She smiled at me each time she opened the door to call the next person in line. An evil smile filled with malicious intent.

I saw a few other faces of apprentices smirking at me. Looks like the gossip about the new apprentice of Zavir had spread.

Turns out I hadn’t been so early a bird as I thought. These smirking jackasses had already arranged their apprenticeship with fresher non-senile masters.

I guess I should have–ugh–talked to other people more to gather info about the prospective Alchemists available for an apprenticeship.

My turn came, and I walked in silently and remained standing.

「GM: Back so soon? Anything wrong?」

She said, not even hiding her devious smile.

「Allen: Is master Zavir fit for teaching?」

I asked, trying real hard to fight the impulse telling me to break her neck.

「GM: Why, of course! He’s been one of the stars of this institution. Not to mention the many times he was nominated the best alchemist in the kingdom!」

Been.

Was.

「Allen: He appears to have some… memory issues.」

「GM: Ah! Well, he’s certainly starting to show his age. Some bad days are to be expected after all.」

She caressed her chin, pretending to act like an innocent girl. I wished to have a mirror and show her the reality of her wrinkled middle-aged face.

But I’m an adult and must be patient and not kill anyone.

「GM: You might commission our certified alchemists to brew some memory-enhancing concoctions, if the price is agreeable to you, or…」

She crossed her legs.

「GM: There are ways I could help if you were amenable to certain requests of mine…」

No.

「Allen: I see. If master Zavir holds such renown, then I’d be a fool to give up so soon. I shall follow your suggestion, ma’am.」

In response, she smiled passive-aggressively.

As did I.

「Allen: Thanks for the opportunity, ma’am.」

I bowed and left

How much do these fucking potions cost?

Too much! Memory-enhancing potions cost way too much!

30 gold coins for just one dose. No way.

The cougar thought she had victory in her paws. Well, she had never met Allen. I hated losing, especially when losing had no benefits. I’m a programmer. Making half-broken things work is part of the curriculum.

When life gives you lemons, you build a lemonade empire and squeeze lemon juice over the eyes of your foes. Not to speak of the lemon-powered electric chair awaiting the detractors.

My first big IQ move was to ask my master to brew the potions himself.

「Zavir: A memory-enhancing potion, you say…」

He gazed at his stocks.

「Zavir: I lack Viridian leaves, a named plant. Rare. Stabilizes the mind. Six leaves for a dose…」

After muttering that, he nodded off again. He returned to his chair, and I knew I had lost him.

I went and checked the price for that amount. The least I could find was 21 gold coins. Still too much!

Had the cougar inflated the prices specifically for me, or were these Viridian leaves really priced around 3.5 golds each?

Vargas, where are you?! I lamented the unavailability of my more accessible merchant friend. I’ll forgive your talkativeness. Please come back! No answer came.

I added this plant to Grohm’s magical plant tank candidates list.

I returned to my senile master again.

「Zavir: Excuse me, who are you?」

「Allen: Your apprentice.」

「Zavir: Are you? I seem to be forgetting many things these days.」

He said, rubbing the ring on his finger.

「Zavir: How regrettable… This ring used to bring me clarity once…」

A ring, huh? Was it broken? What if I put some enchantments to help him remember things? It was a good idea. What other options?

With my mana fully charged, I felt more present. Maybe old Zavir could restock his mana storage as well. The mana body could lose shape just like the physical body. How long had it been since my senile master had properly meditated and replenished his mana reserves?

「Allen: Master, could meditation improve your memory?」

「Zavir: Of course, meditation before a session is a great- a great… Hmm, what were we talking about?」

No good, he had trouble focusing. Perhaps it was a “bad day” as the cougar said, but…

「Allen: Master, would you mind if I inspected your ring?」

He retracted his hands in a protective gesture.

「Zavir: This ring is precious to me! Who are you?!」

「Allen: Master, I am also an enchanter. I could fix and improve whatever enchantments were put on your ring.」

He shook his head.

「Zavir: Nonsense! I can only trust the one who enchanted it in the first place, as it’s proper.」

「Allen: Who enchanted your ring, if I may ask?」

Old Zavir smiled and caressed the ring.

「Zavir: An award for my accomplishments, enchanted by hmm… Ah yes! The young Grohm Khalkear. A talented youth, that one.」

Youth? Grohm?

Zavir was a little outdated.

But that was OK. It was my turn to smile maliciously.

「Allen: I think we can arrange that.」

「Zavir: You look suspicious. Who are you?」

I couldn’t just take his ring and walk off. That would be most likely considered bad conduct and could be used against me. I had to go through official channels.

No probs!

「Allen: Let’s have a little chat with the cougar.」

I took hold of the old man’s arm and steered him outside. I put on my reassuring corporate smile.

「Zavir: Who? Where are we going? Who are you?」

After many complaints from my master, which I promptly ignored, we arrived at the cougar’s office.

「Allen: Master, we were to talk with the Guild Master.」

「Zavir: Ah, of course.」

He went straight to the door, skipping the queue, and I followed right behind. Skipping the queue, what a chad.

The Guild Master was alone, writing something on paper. She raised her gaze, first annoyed, then surprised, then annoyed again.

「GM: Old Zavir? What an… unpleasant surprise. What do I owe the visit?」

Zavir frowned for a moment before speaking.

「Zavir: Young Keira? Why do you look so old?」

Oof. The cougar balled her fists. I fought hard a smirk.

「Zavir: And where is Guild Master Barabaz?」

「GM: Barabaz… retired several decades ago. As I have already told you… A thousand times!」

Good, take some of your own medicine, you witch.

「Zavir: Is that so… How regrettable.」

Women don’t like being called old. Zavir had balls. Or lack of common sense.

「GM: In case you have forgotten, again. I am the current Guild Master.」

She inched forward.

「GM: And who are you calling old?!」

Zavir scratched his long beard.

「Zavir: Apologies… At my age, I tend to forget things, I’m afraid.」

「GM: Cut it short, Zavir. What do you want? Why are you here?」

「Zavir: Ah yes… I uhm…」

She sighed in exasperation and turned her gaze toward me.

「Allen: You wanted to have the ring repaired, master.」

「Zavir: Did I? I can’t remember…」

「Allen: You heard that Grohm Khalkear was teaching at the Academy and expressed the wish to tune up your magic ring.」

「Zavir: He is? How fortunate!」

「GM: Hold on… Who is going to pay for this? I don-」

「Allen: There is no need. I will take on the costs.」

I was going to add the most appropriate enchantments myself.

「GM: But Zavir is very attached to that ring… He will cause a ruckus and pester our personnel about his lost ring. Constantly. Like last time.」

She massaged her temple.

「GM: …He had left it in his pockets.」

「Allen: I think I can persuade Khalkear to get it done and delivered back quickly.」

She remained pensive. Probably thinking what a bother it all was. I had to give her a push.

「Allen: I mean, fixing the ring might discourage my master from finding his way here with this same request.」

Zavir massaged the ring.

「Zavir: Ah… This ring was a great aid to me. How regrettable…」

Then he frowned and looked back at the Guild Master.

「Zavir: Young Keira? Why do you look so old?」

She ground her teeth and stood up. Was he doing it on purpose now?

「GM: Deal! I do this, and you keep him out of my office. Agreed?」

「Allen: I’ll do my best.」

I smiled my best corporate smile.

「GM: Zavir, come here.」

「Zavir: Hmm?」

She grabbed his hand and pulled the ring off.

「Zavir: My ring!」

「GM: I’m sending it to repair. Now shut your mouth and let me work!」

「Zavir: I… Uh…」

I gently accompanied Zavir toward his laboratory.

「Zavir: My ring… My accomplishments…」

He said with a pitiful voice.

「Allen: Don’t worry Master. You’ll be restored to peak performance lemonade.」

「Zavir: I don’t get it… And who are you?」

I didn’t need miracles. I just needed him to be able to teach. He still had the knowledge and the instinct.

Strengthening his spirit might be what tips the balance.