I was reading my diary from the start and found something weird.

Why was I keeping a diary? Well, Ellin said it’s good practice for mages to keep one since they live for fucking centuries. Also, I should leave something to my descendants to know how much better I am than anyone else, a beacon of light everybody should follow.

Anyway, I was saying… I found a detail that was off. And it wasn’t one of my deliberate edits.

I had never been shy of rewriting history, especially in GIT repositories, but this wasn’t the case.

When I was talking to the Creator, my first memory of coming to this world, I remembered recalling my brother… The problem was I didn’t have one. I was an only child when my parents abandoned me. Grandma raised me alone. No brothers.

How had I failed to notice such detail until now? It had felt so natural that I wrote it down without even questioning.

Was it a case of fake dream memories? Those weren’t uncommon, and it wasn’t uncommon either to have recurring memories you could only access in dreams. Like knowing how to fly, which was second nature to me in dreams. But no matter how hard I thought about it, I simply couldn’t remember any consistent recurring dream about a brother before the Creator called upon me. That specific memory had carried its own subset of detailed memories, but it only existed there at that moment.

The clarity from the First Step and the experience from my dreams was making my mind sharper. My reason said it was just a fake memory, but my intuition was screeching like a howler monkey.

That gray emptiness had felt different from normal dreams, and we hadn’t talked with actual voices… more like concepts and impressions?

Was my initial memory wrong, or had my mind’s content changed recently?

I was growing concerned about the reliability of my memory. What if I’m not the only Allen? What if different versions of me have been keeling over left and right, littering the multiverse?

「Namrick: Hey Allen! Why are you brooding?」

I returned back to reality. I was at the training grounds with the trio. The snow was gone. Edward was there too and had just finished getting his ass whooped by Namrick.

Ellin was checking up on him. Yusdrolir was absent, busy with the smithy.

Namrick was vexed and ready to vent against another target. I was still pretending to be dense about their relationships, like a proper MC. Needless to say, I had been shipping Namrick plus Ellin since the first time I laid my eyes on them. Edward was the unsuitable childhood friend who was gonna grow apart or some shit. Well, maybe I just didn’t like him much because he made a weak impression that time in the hot springs. Don’t be a dick, Allen.

「Allen: Has it ever happened to you to remember things you never experienced?」

「Namrick: Like a previous life? Or like a transmission, where a dying master passes on his memories and will to their disciples?」

I had read about those, but no, this was different.

「Allen: No, not someone else’s. A memory of your own that could only have happened if your life played out differently.」

Namrick raised his eyebrows.

「Namrick: You must be talking about attaining straivahl.」

「Allen: Straivahl? Explain.」

Never heard of it. It had to be the usual dumb-named version for technique users.

「Namrick: I haven’t experienced it myself, but… How do I explain?」

Namrick tapped the point of his training sword to his chin.

「Namrick: Sometimes, in their direst moment, a warrior may experience a… sudden understanding of different techniques he never learned, but could have, and use them in battle…」

That was interesting.

「Allen: Is it common?」

「Namrick: It is said to only happen once in your life, and feels like… the you who took another path joins you for a moment. It doesn’t last long, but some of that remains.」

「Allen: “Another path” as “lived a slightly different life” you mean, correct?」

「Namrick: Yes. One of my friends told me a story where he was about to be killed by bandits and somehow managed to use the technique from his old master, who had passed away in an accident before he could teach him. Despite that, he swore he had a faint memory of learning it from him, even though it had never happened.」

Straivahl. Reminder to self, investigate this phenomenon.

Quest added (Find out more about straivahl)

Grastel glanced at us with a strange expression, then went to pick up the arrows. Maybe he thinks we’re losing it.

「Allen: Paths converging…」

What if I had experienced something similar? Maybe there was an Allen who had a brother and an Allen who isn’t always seething in existential angst. Maybe the Creator scooped up a bunch of Allens from across the many-worlds.

「Namrick: Care to spar?」

Namrick inquired, pointing his word toward me and smiling in challenge.

「Allen: Sure, time to put my secret dream combat training to test.」

I stood up, cracking my joints. All of them, slowly for extra drama. He sighed and shook his head.

「Namrick: So, you know about combat visualization? My master said I should meditate while visualizing on how to respond against every attack.」

「Allen: Sort of, but I can make it super realistic inside my dreams. I have fought dream Namrick countless times.」

I said with a smile of defiance.

「Namrick: Oh? And how many times did you win?」

「Allen: Ten… over a thousand. And I had to use cheap tricks.」

「Namrick: Yeah, that sounds like me.」

He said, looking smug.

「Allen: Dream Namrick doesn’t pull punches. He slices me in half and looks smug. Exactly like that.」

I said, narrowing my eyes.

「Namrick: Show me, then.」

I grabbed my own training sword and launched myself forward. My body didn’t move with the same precision as my dreams but, after a few minutes of adjusting, I was deflecting Namrick’s blows much more effectively than before. I smirked.

「Namrick: Good, I can increase the difficulty, then.」

He announced and immediately increased his tempo. Oh no, I thought, as I started losing ground to the superior swordsmanship.

「Allen: Do you mind… if I use… cheap tricks?」

I asked between blows.

「Namrick: Do your worst, mage!」

Hehe. I had come up with plenty of evil strategies that people with honor and pride—which are both sins in my book—would never consider.

I cast a magic field over Namrick’s feet, making him trip. He rolled and parried my wooden blade.

I blocked his line of sight with an illusion of black smoke, but he took a defensive posture and somehow managed to stop my next blow. I was not done, though. My best outcomes came from getting close.

I grabbed his sword hand right after a swing and pushed forward to destroy his balance. He reacted quickly, clutching my right hand and swinging me away. I kept my balance while he moved in to strike, but his hand met a solid magic field. This time, I crashed my shoulder against him.

「Edward: Go, Allen!」

Edward was cheering for me. I guess I’ll have to cut him some slack, after all.

Namrick cartwheeled backward and grinned back at me as he resumed his stance. How aggravating.

「Namrick: You’ve gotten better!」

He said cheerily, as he increased his speed again. I could not match him. So I responded with a moderate use of 【Fear Projection】, which slowed him down a little.

I gained a few steps before he started glowing. That was new.

「Namrick: Enough of that!」

He spun forward quickly, ignoring my spells, and batted my sword away. I grabbed his sword hand, disarmed him, and tried to launch him in the air, but he kicked the back of my leg, making me buckle down. We both fell down sloppily. We were both breathing hard.

「Allen: Draw?」

「Namrick: Draw.」

The glowing thing was new. It looked like an anti-magic membrane.

I could have cast hallucinations on him when we made physical contact and used a heavier fear projection, but he’s my friend. I wasn’t trying to kill him. I already felt a little bad for using all those dirty tricks against dream Namrick. Likewise, Namrick could have easily dispatched me with some flashier technique without letting me get close if he weren’t restraining himself.

Casting spell in rapid succession was still challenging. Still, I was confident that, with fully enchanted equipment, I could stand my ground. At least until mana ran out.

I wondered if this experience would end up supplementing tonight’s dream sparring session.

「Namrick: I can only emit Warrior’s Aura for a breath. I need more training against mages. I’m glad you’re back to train with us.」

He said, slapping my shoulder. I turned my head to face him.

「Allen: I need to get back in shape. Also, I’d like to learn how to deal with nasty competent swordsmen.」

We grinned at each other.

「Namrick: Heh. A good mage would usually avoid getting close to one.」

Fuck that. In a real battle, I was going to fucking bend someone’s arm the wrong way, rip their tendons from their tryhard bulging muscles, stab their eyes with hardened fingers. I had plenty of options depending on how dirty I wanted to go. I’ll make Kenshiro proud.

And not only that. I could blind foes with invisible light. I just needed to figure out how to shoot a laser first. I had already verified it was possible to manifest invisible frequencies of light. Mana was being used even I didn’t see it. It would be theoretically possible to microwave someone’s brain. I was almost scared by the possibilities. I was going to keep these tricks to myself.

For now, I just needed to learn magical healing and expand my mana pool. Then who cares if I get a few stabs. I’ll become an unkillable motherfucker fueled by battle rage.

To my greatest despair, healing lessons had still to breach the magical part of healing. I also made the mistake of lecturing the teacher about modern first aid procedures, which I had learned from those forced tutorials at work. So now I was the designated example for all lessons. Why do I always end up as an example?

I stood up and dusted the dirt off my training clothes.

「Allen: Alright. I’m heading back to work.」

Namrick, who was still sitting on the ground, looked disappointed.

「Namrick: Ah? So soon already?」

「Allen: Yes, I’m waiting to hear words about an important matter.」

I cast a glance toward Grastel and Edward, who were busy in a game of “shoot me, and I’ll deflect the arrow,” much to Ellin’s chagrin. Edward was trying to show off.

I said goodbye and made my way to the military enchanters’ workshop.

Overseer Lorinthar had given me the answer.

It was not the answer I was waiting for.

「Bart: I think we should all calm down.」

「Allen: I am perfectly calm.」

I said slowly and clearly.

『Vezlaz: Turning the table’s edge to dust doesn’t exactly inspire calmness. Does it, Bart?』

Bart nodded.

「Allen: This?」

I said, grinding to dust the fragments of stone within my death grip.

「Allen: This is just me being mildly inconvenienced.」

「Bart: The table had no fault.」

「Allen: A stone table should be able to withstand a little punch and a moderate grip.」

「Bart: It would if you weren’t using mana-infused strength.」

『Vezlaz: Fortunately, this dwarf knows some stone shaping.』

The dwarf merrily said while massaging the cracks away from the stone.

「Allen: Where is he hiding?」

「Bart: Important business, I was told.」

「Allen: The coward… Sneaking behind my back and snatching the live combat practice session away from me!」

I tapped a finger against the table. * THUNK *

「Allen: The fuck is he even gonna do on a goddamn battlefield?!」

* THUNK *

「Allen: Stare at the godforsaken flowers while he stands paralyzed because he can’t deal with any actual semblance of direct confrontation?!」

* THUNK *

Another crack appeared under the fury of my mighty finger. Vezlaz sighed.

『Vezlaz: Just let him have his fun, aye? He’ll run back pissing himself.』

「Bart: Come on Allen, he needs this.」

「Allen: He needs what? What about me?!」

* THUNK-KRK *

「Allen: I’ve been slaving for months, everyone’s trying to pull tricks on me, and I have all this pent-up stress. I need an outlet! Bathing in the blood of my foes while performing exterminatus with the MPA was supposed to be my reward!」

『Vezlaz: You’re getting plenty chances to use the MPA, though.』

「Allen: Debugging and tests, not comparable to going all off!」

Training with the kids wasn’t enough.

「Bart: You could walk out the city walls and hunt some game, just saying.」

「Allen: I can’t! I can’t leave the city without official business!」

I said in exasperation, throwing my hands up. Violet had shot down my adventuring request, saying I had to learn to ward off my mind first. Closing off the spiritual body wasn’t enough. If it were, Vezlaz wouldn’t be able to perform his telepathic talk inside my mind.

「Allen: I even went through several shady alleyways, and nobody jumped on me! Nobody!」

「Bart: Why would-」

「Allen: I need something to kill, Bart.」

『Vezlaz: Man… why are you so angry these days?』

He was right. I had no fucking idea why.

I felt more irritable than usual.

Maybe the thing with the demon had left some marks on me.

「Allen: Dunno. I’m going out to punch the practice targets and cool off some.」

Bart and Vezlaz shot me some concerned glances as I stomped outside.

I put the illusion of Klenn’s face over the practice dummies and cracked my knuckles.