Two days passed with no word from the king.

What? Did I have to make an appointment? I just figured he’d have someone bring me down to the castle for another trial by now. I mean, I knew that kings had lots of stuff to do but… this was the demon king.

I leaned back in the living room recliner and grabbed the remote. Yeah. Demon TV. I actually watched a little of it. Mainly news, which talked about how jam was made, how to grow your own fruit garden for jam making purposes, and of course, how to use jam as a personal lubricant.

I had learned much.

I let out a deep sigh and sunk into the soft leather of my seat. I should have pretended to be a news expert. My job would have been a lot easier.

In any case, the current lack of a trial gave me an opportunity. An opportunity to explore the city a little and try to learn something about the queen. Something to help me get back to Earth. I just had to get up and do it.

“Ryley!” Violetta’s voice from upstairs made me practically fall out of my chair. “B-B-Bug! Help!”

Did she say… bug? As in, an insect? No fucking way was I going up there.

For me, ‘bug’ meant a tiny little spider next to the sink. Yes, I was fully aware that spiders weren’t bugs, but I didn’t care. What I cared about was that there was a high probability that bugs in this world had six pack abs, rocket launchers for arms, and a habit of calling people they didn’t know ‘brother’ unironically. I wasn’t budging. Violetta would just have to die.

“AHHH!” Violetta shrieked again. “It’s on the wall! I-It’s on the wall, Ryley!”

I turned up the volume on the TV. Just because I would be partially responsible for her death didn’t mean I wanted to have to hear it.

As if on cue, a head of black hair poked up from beside my chair. “You’re not gonna go kill it?”

“What the fuck!?” My heart practically exploded before I recognized the eyepatch and the distinct lack of personal space. “...Hadria?”

“Hey.” She rested her head on the arm of the chair. “This is a pretty nice place. Really relaxing.”

I decided I’d give her a chance to explain herself. Even someone as insane as Hadria had to understand how weird this was. How did she even get in?

Violetta shrieked again from upstairs. “IT’S ON THE DOORKNOB!”

Hadria’s red eye practically glowed. “So you’re not gonna go help?” Oh my god.

“...Why are you in my house?” I asked.

“I’m your new assistant.” Hadria stood up, fidgeting with her nearly pointless skirt. “Duh.”

I narrowed my eyes. “That doesn’t tell me why you’re in my house.”

“I just explained it!”

“You know, in my world, vampires aren’t supposed to even be able to come inside someone’s house without being invited.”

“What?” Hadria laughed through her nose. “That’s stupid.”

“Yeah, you know what else is stupid?”

“What?” Hadria asked.

“How you won’t tell me why you’re in my house.”

She scrunched her brow. “I literally just told you!”

“…Get out.”

“Oh come on.” Hadria stamped her foot. “How can an assistant assist someone if they insist on being unassisted!?” Jeez, try saying that three times fast.

“You know what? You’re right.” I tried to sound calm, but I probably came across as someone that was on the verge of having a mental breakdown.

Hadria gasped. “...I am?” Wow.

“Yeah. You’re my new assistant, so I need you to do something,” I continued. “Go assist Violetta in killing that bug.”

“I’m not Violetta’s assistant.”

“RYLEY!” Violetta screamed again.

I got up and flipped my chair over. “Fine!” I yelled.

“Yeah!” Hadria pumped her fist into the air. “Go kill that bug!”

No. I took off and bounded up the stairs. Killing it wouldn’t be enough. Not after the brain melting ‘conversation’ I just had to engage in. I was broken. They broke me, and I was going to break this bug. I would destroy it’s very essence.

So yeah, I caved.

I stomped up to the second floor and threw Violetta’s door open without hesitation. The first thing I noticed was the yellow splotches that littered the floor and wall. Violetta was on top of her bed pointing at the corner where something small and yellow was. Something that… looked a lot like something I had seen before on Earth.

“It’s... over there,” Violetta squeaked.

It took a few seconds for my mush brain to process the situation. It was a sponge. She was pointing at a sponge. Not the kind in the ocean. The perfectly square kind they sold in stores.

I took a deep breath and spoke in a stifled monotonous whisper. “That’s the bug?”

Violetta nodded her head.

This was fine. If the demon world had giant shark people covered in barbed wire and used centipedes for money, it only made sense that their insects looked like house sponges. Of course they did. I didn’t need to overthink this. All I needed to do was end its miserable existence.

I took a step forward and the sponge took off up the wall, leaving yellow liquid in its wake. It didn’t skitter or hop away like normal insects did. Instead, it frantically flopped from its spongy yellow side over to its rough green one like some kind of… thing that did that. Seriously. What the fuck.

“Ooo, get it!” Hadria’s voice came from behind me.

My body moved on its down, leaping forward with my hand raised in the air. Before the sponge could make it to the ceiling, I threw my open palm at the wall like I was about to give the most epic high five of all time. A high five of death.

A loud bang rang out as my hand struck the wall. A direct hit. The area around my attack was covered with what I assumed to be yellow sponge guts.

I turned back to my assistants, dropping the sponge blood to the floor with a flick of my wrist. That was surprisingly cathartic.

“Oh no!” Violetta let out a cry, jumping from her bed. “Ryley, you killed it!”

“...Yeah.” She hadn’t expected me to let it out the window or something, right?

“But… You’ll have to go on trial...” Tears welled up in Violetta’s eyes. “You’re a murderer now!”

“It’s cool, Violetta,” Hadria spoke up. “I’ll defend Ryley. I’ll help clean up the evidence too. Shouldn’t be hard to do if I call my dad. He has some really good cleaners working for him.” Not exactly what someone in the ‘law’ squad should be offering. “Really good at cleaning up blood.” Getting worse. “The guys spill their drinks all the time.” Oh. Right. Vampires.

I glanced back up to the spongy remains streaking down the wall. “This isn’t murder.”

“It’s not?” Violetta grabbed her horns. “But I thought you said that killing was illegal now…”

“It is,” I sighed. “But that only applies to demons. And me. It doesn’t apply to bugs.”

“Really?” Violetta asked. “Why’s that?”

This could have been the moment when I explained the idea of sentience. It also could have been the moment when I talked about the idea of animal rights vs human ones. I decided to take the easy way out instead.

“Because bugs are gross,” I said.

“Well… I guess so...” Violetta frowned.

Even I felt a little bad saying that. I mean, I had no remorse killing bugs back on Earth, but this wasn’t Earth. How smart were the bugs here? I hoped these sponges didn’t have little sponge families waiting for them back home.

“Anyway…” I headed toward the doorway, very aware that I needed to wash my hands. “I’m leaving the house for a while.”

“Oh, we should go to my place!” Hadria hopped up and down. “My mom can make us lunch.”

“That sounds nice!” Violetta clapped her hands together. She apparently wasn’t all that torn up about the sponge after all.

“You two do that,” I said. “I’m going to the palace.” I needed to see if they still had the queen’s notebook.

“The palace?” Violetta gasped. “Then we have to go with you!”

“Whatever,” I sighed. “Just be ready in five minutes.”

Violetta pointed back to the corner. “Aren’t you going to help me clean up my wall?”

“No,” I said. “No I am not.”

Speaking of which… If sponges were bugs, then what did they clean with?