The moment is frozen in my mind. The smirk on Fera’s face. Kiyo’s stocking-clad legs sticking out from the side of the table. The three different printings of The Great Wave off Kanagawa, one for each of the non-moving walls in case the tourists couldn’t see it from their seat. There are moments that your mind realizes are pivotal and it records everything it can. Hell, I can even remember the smell of the sake on Dante’s breath from across the table.

Home? That ought to have been music to my ears. I had longed to be free of my disguise for so long. I was ready to discard Soren and just be myself again. I was uneasy allies with Maggie and her cohort, at best, and Rose’s comments had made me realize that they would never accept me at the school. This was the lifeline I had longed for.

Then why did it feel like a punch to the gut?

I took a swig of water to cover up my expression. I needed to project strength.

“This is certainly sudden,” I said. “I imagine that’s why you wanted me to bring my notes? I had thought we were going to share my findings.”

Girdan laughed dismissively. “I’ve read your reports up until now. It seems like all your time is taken up with class and homework.”

“I was under orders to pretend to be a student here,” I replied. “Unfortunately, I couldn’t pretend to turn in the homework assignments. Our Father Below knew how long I would be here, and I didn’t want to raise suspicions.”

“And chasing the co-eds was just part of the cover, then?” Fera crossed her arms under her chest.

“Why, my dear, is that a note of jealousy in your voice? I assure you, she was simply a way to fill the time until we were reunited.”

It would have been better for me if Dante hadn’t mentioned Kiyo at all, but now I had to dance around it. One of the first rules of courting a devilmaid of a certain stature is that she feels full license to throw herself at anybody who scratches her itch, but you had best downplay your own dalliances. Women of Fera’s rank were rather possessive of their partners. It almost made you appreciate the lower-class devils; they were glad to share your attention, as long as you plied them with coins or compliments.

“Anyhow, I think this is a tad premature,” I continued. “I haven’t had to chance to learn anything really secret yet.”

“It’s all been decided for you,” said Girdan. “Fera’s man isn’t in town for long. He has the proper papers and tickets to get you to Ireland.”

“It was a bear getting a passport with your beaky gob on it, I’ll tell you that much,” said Dante.

“We can arrange to get you back to England from there. It will be a delight to have you back, little Magpie,” said Fera, adding a little giggle at the nickname. I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned that in any of my reports.

That annoying nickname wasn’t the only thing that had me wary. I smelled a kobold, and it wasn’t just Dante’s rancid breath wafting over at me. Don’t trust a devil who offers you your heart’s desire out of the blue. I had done my duty per our arrangement, but they had maneuvered me such that I had no bargaining power.

It would be best to feel things out to see where the trap was. “I suppose it will be good to be back in civilization again. I’ve missed being your aide de camp, sir.”

“Aide?” Girdan let out a derisive snort. “You misunderstand, boy. You’re coming home, but you are not going to get your old rank so easily. You violated a sacred trust when you stole from me and seduced my sweet, innocent daughter.”

I really had grown since the trial; I was able to hold my tongue, despite the nonsense he was spewing. “Then what shall I be returning to?”

“Old Dewdrop is starting to get on in years. Goblins only last so long before they are used up,” said Fera. “I could use a new manservant. I know how much you love tending to me. It might as well be your new vocation.”

“Unacceptable!” I slammed my fist in the center of the table. “I am Captain Malthus, the one who brought down Big Ben with a Fireball! I cut off a wizard platoon that was about to overrun your position, Girdan, or are you forgetting? You owe me your life!”

“Owe you?” Girdan straightened up and leaned towards the fabricata camera. “You were my underling. You were obligated to give me no less than your best. And watch your tone; I won’t take any lip from the help.”

“After all I did for you, at the risk of life and limb! Do you know how hard it was to get that information to the right ears without exposing my cover?” Not hard at all, since I had Maggie as my middleman, but the negotiating table is hardly the place for the full truth.

“You passed along that intel to the Wizard Corps and cut off ex-Grand General Beez, but don’t make more of it than it is,” said Fera. “Your tantrum at your trial destroyed your standing in the court for good. Did you wonder why your father’s position was ever at risk? You left quite a mess behind.”

I can’t say I had given Father more than a few passing thoughts since I had left. He certainly hadn’t mentioned any such thing when he had seen me off.

I put aside my guilt. That wouldn’t do me any good. “The last time we saw each other,” I started, before swallowing to steady my voice. “Fera, when I left Pandemonium, you said I’d come back crowned in glory, if I came back at all. That I would be the first spy to return after an extended trip in the human realms. How can you do this to me?”

Fera pursed her lips thoughtfully. “I did, didn’t I?”

“When did you have a chance to talk with her?” asked Girdan, his voice tinged with suspicion. Fera’s eyes widened.

“She popped by the morning that Father and I set out for Calais.” He didn’t need to know I’d snuck into his villa in Pandemonium for a quickie with Fera. It had been a good time, but not worth getting the old goat riled up over. “It was rather thoughtful of her.”

Fera’s shoulders relaxed, though she was still on her guard. It was almost like she had forgotten about our little dalliance, which was as much as a slap in the face as being booted into the lower class. “Malthus, if it were up to me, you’d come back a Grand General. Alas, your name is still spoken of in harsh tones in the courts. This is the only way, you see.”

“But I did what you said,” I said, a little dumbly. “You promised.”

“Things change,” said Fera.

“Oh, don’t get so dramatic,” said Girdan. “You passed along a message to the Wizard Corps. You didn’t strike some great blow against the enemy.”

“Then it’s no deal,” I said. I stood and retrieved my bag. “Thank you for a lovely time, Dante, but I’ll be taking my leave.”

“You’re disobeying Mistress Fera?” Dante’s eyes went wide, and I think that shock sobered him up.

“Where are you going?” Girdan’s voice had an all-too familiar tone, surprise right before it became rage. I had heard it a hundred times while in his care. Shame for him he couldn’t lash me from Italy.

“What do you care? It’s not like you need me to be your butler. Goblins and common devils are a dinar a dozen.”

“You’re bluffing,” said Fera. “I know from your letters how much you want to come back to Pandemonium.”

“Not under those terms! If it has to come to it, I have a comfortable enough life here.” I scratched my chin thoughtfully. “You know, if I’m not coming home, I could make it even more comfortable. I wonder what the Wizard Corps will pay me for what I know?”

“That’s treason!” barked Girdan.

“You know Our Father Below’s great law,” I said with a grin. It was fun having Girdan at a disadvantage for once. “You are the only one in the universe that matters, and others exist to further those goals. I have to think about what’s good for Malthus.”

Girdan jabbed a meaty finger at me. “They’ll kill you before you finish confessing, you dip!”

“I think it’s a fifty-fifty chance that they either execute me or give me a posh job in Anti-Demonic League Intelligence. And like Dante’s namesake wrote, it’s better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. Being the League’s pet devil will have some advantages.”

“You traitorous son of a bitch!” Dante lurched to his feet and tensed up, ready to launch himself at me. And who knows, if he hadn’t been soused, he might have had a shot at it.

“Spectral Web.” I twisted my fingers around to concentrate the normally net-shaped energy structure into a narrow stream, which wrapped itself around Dante’s neck in an instant. The other end stayed in my hand. He was already off balance, and a good yank sent him crashing to the floor.

“Breathe… can’t… breathe…”

I strode over and jerked the impromptu leash, earning a gurgle from Dante. “Tell your pet to mind his manners, Fera, or else you’ll need to break in a new one.”

I positively loved the look of dull surprise on Fera’s face. It didn’t last long, though; she had a courtier’s skill of masking her feelings. She shook her head, and her normal, confident mask slipped back into place.

“Let him go, Malthus,” said Fera. I complied with a snap of my fingers, and the magical rope vanished. “Dante, sit still and don’t speak unless spoken to.”

He rubbed his throat, which bore an even, red ring all around it. There was murder in his eyes, but he kept it to himself. “Y-yes… mistress…” He staggered back to his cushion.

“Now then,” I said, grabbing the handle again to recharge the fabricata. “Are you ready to come at me with a real offer?”

“Take a seat,” said Girdan, glowering at me. It seemed I owed Dante. That little scuffle had given my words so much more weight than they had had before.

“I knew you were a reasonable gentledevil.” I knelt down, my pulse racing. “Your lovely daughter told the truth before. I do want to come home, but I’ll expect to at least have my rank back.”

“It isn’t quite so simple,” said Girdan. “This was the best arrangement we could make, under the circumstances.”

I laughed without humor. “And the fact that I’d be cleaning your chamber pot and fetching you tea would only be a side benefit, right? Come off it! You’re just being petty.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” barked Girdan. “There are powerful voices in the Court saying that you can’t be trusted anymore.”

“Yes, that powerful voice being Grand General Girdan the Fair! I know how you think! You were practically my second father. Father wants me back, but you’re still holding a grudge. That’s why you’re trying to bring me home in disgrace; this is the least you could do for me, and if I go along with it, he won’t have any choice but to accept it as well. Don’t make up any nonsense about courtly realities. Father is the Dark Lord’s right-hand devil, and you’re the conqueror of the United Kingdom. If you both say I’m back and restored to Captain, who’s left to disagree?”

Girdan’s face curled in a feral grin. “The Dark Lord himself.”

My stomach sank. “I suppose he would have some say in the matter.”