Chapter 32

Once Viktor was back in his stable, Heida had vanished to go work on her Wizard Corps assignments. Mariko and Bryndísar went back to their work in the house, leaving me with no company besides the farmhands, who didn’t speak much English, and Kowalski. It was an easy choice; definitely easier than it would have been before our Icelandic excursion.

“Yeah, that’s it, Buddy!” Kowalski crowed as the shadowy golem strained against the half-rotten stump. “You’re getting it!”

Plus, I got a show in the bargain.

“This is the second most fun way to get rid of a stump,” said Lilja. The three of us were leaning on an aged fence that creaked under our weight. It seemed to be held together by a thick layer of moss.

“What’s the most fun way?” I asked.

“Dynamite,” replied Lilja. “Pabbi always handles it. He’s convinced I’ll blow off a hand.”

“I’m a little surprised he bothers with it,” I said. “Magic is cheaper.”

She shrugged. “I’m a mundane. I think he wants to make sure I know how to do everything without relying on magic. I’m sure he’ll let me set it off one of these days.”

Kowalski scowled a moment. “Mundane? That’s an awful thing to call you just because you aren’t a wizard.”

“It’s the term, isn’t it?” Lilja turned towards him. “What would you call me?”

Kowalski gulped. No, don’t look at me, you fool. I mouthed ‘delightful’ over her shoulder.

“Delilah? Wait, no that doesn’t make sense.”

Lilja blinked. “Delilah? Huh?”

I facepalmed. Swing and a miss.

He ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s been a while since I had a haircut. Sampson must’ve been on my mind.”

The brunette giggled. “I’d offer to cut your hair, but I wouldn’t want to steal your strength. You’ve been so helpful to us lately.” She seemed to recall I was there. “Uh, you too, Soren.”

How did he manage to get over that stumble? Whatever one would call that maneuver, it had worked. She must be sweet on him; that’s the only way that would pass.

“Glad to be of assistance. It certainly fills the day.” It certainly beats being worried about vengeful devils.

“I’m glad somebody is,” said Lilja, rolling her eyes in an identical way to her sister. “God, the way she complains, you’d think Pabbi had kidnapped Heida to bring her home.”

“She doesn’t much care for the rustic life, does she?” I replied. “Any idea why that is?”

“Couldn’t tell you.” she said. “It’s like she turned thirteen and a switch flipped. She was always talking about living in the city.”

“Doesn’t make any sense to me,” said Kowalski. “I’m from a city. It’s cramped and dirty.”

“The heart wants what it doesn’t have,” I said. “Speaking of fun, Buddy is really getting into it.”

The shadowy beast’s form had shifted into something like a bladed octopus, his sharp tentacles having bored deep into the stump. What passed for his muscles strained as he tried to lever up the rotting lump.

“Wait, we have the wrong tool for the job here,” I said. “We should get Mariko. She could vaporize it without raising a sweat.”

“No way,” said Kowalski. “I think I’ve started figuring Buddy out. He gets bored really easily.”

I smirked at him. “It took you that long to figure it out?”

“I always thought he was just random,” he said. “I finally see the patterns. It’s like one of my neighbors in Gunma. He got himself a collie dog from God knows where. He tried to take it on walks when he could, but he worked long hours and left the dog alone in that tiny apartment. One time I went over, and the thing spent all its time staring at the faucet and barking whenever the water dripped. You couldn’t pry him away from it except to eat or go on his walks.”

“Poor thing,” said Mariko, who seemed to come from nowhere. She joined us on the fence, and I was amazed the rickety thing held.

“I suppose dogs can be neurotic too,” I said. That reminds me, I should go check on Viktor and make sure he isn’t going too stir crazy. He’d had a bit of exercise before, but that wouldn’t erase being cooped up all those years.

“Whatever happened to him?” asked Lilja.

He shrugged. “My magic came in and we got moved to the nicer apartment block. I lost contact after that. Either way, that’s like Buddy. He’s got energy to burn, and he likes solving problems.”

“Even if he has to make them,” I added. It makes sense. A golem without a mission is like me without a girl to romance.

Mariko clucked her tongue. “I am glad that he is learning to behave.”

“I’m not totally sure he is,” admitted Kowalski, rubbing the back of his head bashfully. “That’s what I’m worried about. What if we go back to Reykjavik or Nagoya and suddenly he’s back to being himself?”

“Has he acted like he was going to attack you lately?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No, thank God.”

“Then that alone is progress.” I swore I could feel a headache coming on. “Anyhow,” I grumbled. “I think Buddy could use some pointers with that stump. He’s not getting anywhere fast.”

“Do you have somewhere else to be?” asked Mariko, subtly shifting down the fence to rest her head on my shoulder.

Not until later. And no, conscience, I have no reason to feel guilty about that rendezvous. It’s not a betrayal; Mariko has been told the score. Repeatedly.

“Kowalski,” I said, ignoring the question. “Go be constructive; suggest he try cutting it into smaller pieces. We’ll see how he does at hacking away at it.”

“He doesn’t like being interrupted when he’s having fun,” said Kowalski, his voice full of trepidation. “Not that he likes being interrupted by me anyway.”

“Why wouldn’t he listen to you?” asked Lilja. The giantess caressed Kowalski’s cheek, and I thought his face would burst into flame. “You’re amazing.”

His eyes flew wide open, and he swallowed nervously. “Y-yeah, why wouldn’t he? Alright, wish me luck.”

He trundled over and he began an animated conversation with his other half.

“That was a good little trick there,” I whispered to Lilja.

She raised her eyebrow in another excellent impression of her sister. “Trick?”

I traced my finger along my face. “Your little motivational speech there. It’s what he needed to hear.”

“It wasn’t a trick,” said Lilja. “Why would you think that was a trick?”

“Because it’s Kowalski?” My statement became a question partway through as Lilja’s expression hardened.

“Kasasagi!” chided Mariko.

“What? He doesn’t have the best record!” I said defensively.

“Okay, that explains a lot,” said Lilja rising to her full height. “Poor guy; he makes it sound like nobody believes in him. No wonder he’s so jumpy! You be easier on him, you hear?”

I was reasonably sure I could have taken Lilja in a fight, if it came down to it (she was a mundane, after all), but I didn’t see a reason to try. It’s bad manners to brawl with your hosts.

So instead, I nodded. “Yes, yes. I’m simply… You know what? There’s nothing I can say that won’t dig me deeper. I’ll concede the point.”

“Smart man,” said Lilja, leaning back down on the old fence. “Rafal’s a lot of fun once he decides you aren’t judging him.”

“What are we doing out here?” asked Mariko. “Heida said you were removing a stump?”

“You heard right, my dear,” I said.

“I see. Is there a reason we are all here?” she asked. I noticed she wasn’t shy about snuggling up to me.

“Nothing more interesting is going on,” I said, and it was my turn to feel a tad flushed.

“We’re here to back up Rafal,” said Lilja. She cupped her hand around her mouth. “You’ve got this, Rafal!”

He started at her voice, though Buddy matched his surprise. The inky form gave us a thumbs up, which looks unnerving when it came out of a tentacle. Buddy’s limbs reformed into something more humanoid, only with his arms replaced by scythes. Once he was solidified, he began hacking away at the stump.

“I really could help with that stump,” said Mariko. “I need things I can destroy to practice my magic.”

“Oh, really?” Lilja jerked a thumb back towards the house. “Shoot, once Buddy’s done, we’ve got a whole pile of old trash I can show you.”

“Splendid!” said Mariko. “Kasasagi, you will need to be there to watch me with your Mimic.”

It was a relief that she’d taken our discussion to heart and was finally interested in developing her talents. Or, she sees it as an excuse to hang out with me. The sun was already starting to set, and I certainly didn’t want to be late for Heida. It’s Hell being popular sometimes.