《Ortus》Looking for feedback
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Hello!
I'm always looking to improve my writing and have recently received some in-depth and spot on feedback about what could be improved so I'd greatly appreciate if you could leave a comment regarding your thoughts on Ortus.
It doesn't have to be very deep. Just maybe pointing out what things you like, what things you don't like, and maybe something you think I could improve on.
For example: I like the pace of levelling but feel the character interactions and relationships a bit underdeveloped.
Something simple like that is invaluable.
Just leave a comment on this chapter; it doesn't even have to be a review.
Chapter 53 will be posted in 15 minutes! :)
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- In Serial26 Chapters
I, The Lightning
In the world of Foronea, power rules, and for the 80% of those who don't have any power--The Mundane--life is hard. Really hard. Emmanuel Burroughs has had enough. Enough of being pushed around, and spat on. Enough of having his friends and family harassed just because some asshole decides he can. Enough of the nobles using The Mundane as little more than cattle. And he knows just what to do about it. Godking Samuel Lionheart, ruler of Terralane and most powerful of the four god-rulers of Foronea, allows every citizen one attempt at the 'Trial of Blessing', a grueling test of wit, strength, and overall competency. If the challenger wins, they receive a Blessing, a power that manifests a unique form based on the user's personality. The better they do, the stronger the Blessing. Emmanuel's plan is simple; get an S rank on the Trial, and get a Blessing strong enough to overthrow those at the top, fixing the problem with his own hands. But when Godking Samuel makes Emmanuel his Chosen, with a Blessing miles beyond his expectations, Emmanuel finds that being the capital h Hero isn't all he thought it would be. And before he saves anyone, he'll need to figure out how to stop his own power from ripping himself apart. ----------------------------------------------- Hello! Author here! Updates Every Friday! Chapters are anywhere between 2k and 8k words long. So, some warnings; -This novel contains a rather high amount of swearing. Thats just how it is. I like swearing, its in the book. -This book is LitRPG, BUT it takes a LONG time to get there. This is a much slower burn than most other LitRPG, so please keep that in mind.
8 419 - In Serial11 Chapters
Erased
Alone in a vast expanse of knowledge and void of any previous memory what else was I to do but learn? The world above awaited me, but down here it was all I could do to read about it, prepare for it. How long would it take for me to see my first of the Learned Races, or encounter my first monster? To simply see a [City Guard] or a [Warrior] maybe even a [Mage], even then I'd be sated no matter how basic the Class. I wanted to witness what I read about, the fantastical [Secret Stache] of a [Treasure Hunter] or a [Pickpocket] using [Deft Hands]. These were natural occurrences above, but alas, I was below. And this deep down, I'd see my first horror before seeing any mere monster. My escape were the books but soon I'd turn that knowledge into a real escape, I'd emerge from this dear library and claw my way above. But I'd need to prepare myself, I just didn't know how yet. So back to my books.
8 225 - In Serial22 Chapters
Ancestral World: Memorial Clouds
A world that was ruled by no one at first and became a peaceful modern society. Under the shiny and clear sky with the cherry blossoms all around the school, a young man was waiting for his new chapter of life to start. He wanted a peaceful life after the figting that he had done over the years. Having the thought that of the new school life in front of him would lead him to a nice life, dangers await as his existence to other people are nothing but an obstacle. He has to fight his way through to protect his new companions that he made and keep his life that will be ruled by peace someday.
8 199 - In Serial82 Chapters
Fire & Ice - A Draco Malfoy fanfiction
Eleanor Selwyn and Draco Malfoy had three things in common: a high, pure-blood status, academic talents and Slytherin house.Other than that, they were complete opposites and hated each other. That was rather unfortunate, as the Selwyns and the Malfoys had been part of the same social circle for decades. They went to the same parties, visited the same shops and restaurants and visited each other far more than Eleanor would have liked.If it were up to their mothers, they'd already have been betrothed, but ever since birth, the two were like fire and ice. But what happens when ice gets too close to fire?
8 507 - In Serial20 Chapters
Child of Hydra || Reader Insert
This is a male reader insert (sorta). An ex-Hydra agent is on the run, trying to live in a world - universe even - overrun with criminals, gods, security, and of course, the Avengers. Hydra still exists, but not quite like what it was. Maybe the ex-agent can find some tech to help him survive, and maybe more.Before you ask, yes, I did take inspiration from other stories
8 246 - In Serial17 Chapters
Bliss
Warning Rated R+, otherwise anyone can read the book.✨PSA👀 : THIS BOOK IS FICTIONAL, NOTHING IS THIS BOOK APPLIES TO ANY OF THE CHARACTERS USED IN REAL LIFE. THIS BOOK ISN'T TO PUT ANYONE IN A NEGATIVE SPOTLIGHT EITHER.A lot of things mentioned is made up while some are real places, streets, or restaurants in real life.✨No this book clearly isn't just about Nena & Maria. Although it STARTS OFF with them as the main characters, as the plot thickens more people like Isabella, Lina & Valentina, and lastly Caramela comes into the picture. Nena is looking for a roommate because she feels alone, she has been feeling alone ever since she has moved out her parents house at age 18. Her life begins to feel even more complete once Maria enters her life.Will Maria be able to handle nena? Is Isabella gonna be able to save her relationship with the twins Lina & Valentina?Published around February 2019.Book Named Changed from, "My Roomate" to "Bliss🥰", June 21st, 2020.Find out once you read more!.#70-Lesbian Fiction, May 28th, 2019💜.#21-femalexfemale, June 5th, 2019💛.#9-gxg , August 13th 2019💞.200k reads as of May 9th,2020🥳.310k reads of August 29th,2020🧡.330k reads of September 17th, 2020🥺💖.350k reads of October 5th, 2020🕸.
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