We marched in unison for the entire day, stopping only as the sun was setting over the horizon. We started setting a camp by the edge of a small forest, raising tents at an absurd speed. The entire camp was done in less than thirty minutes - everyone knew perfectly what was his role, and so, moving in unison - like one body, in no time our location was secured, because veterans managed to even raise some makeshift fortification of sharpened stakes, creating a few choke points in which potential attacker could be stopped.

“Impressive, isn’t it?” Agnes asked, stopping by my side, seeing me watching over the quickly elected constructions. “Oh, Agnes, I didn’t know you were participating in this ride. I didn’t see your name on the ride list.” “Oh, yeah I asked for allocation night before the march out.” she giggled happily. “I see. You must be low on cash as well, aren’t you?” “Hm? Oh, yes! Absolutely! Cash! That’s why I came here! Haha, indeed!”

… She was terrible at lying. Or maybe, I should say that she was that naive? Or pure.

“Seriously though, I have heard a few things about you from the other Lions. You seem to be very active, taking every quest you can get whenever you can. Why is that so?”

For a few short moments, she became quiet.

“You first! You are being trained by multiple teachers, so you should have your schedule overbooked, and yet instead of using two-three days you were given off you went on goblins extermination. Why?” “I won’t tell you anything new. There are two reasons for that: one… the people that killed me are quite skilled swordsmen, and if I want to deliver justice upon them, I need to become stronger, the other reason was… Well, these people were in danger, weren’t they? Even chasing after our goals we shouldn’t forget about other people, those that helped us or those who require our help. I might be every abomination possible, but, as long as I keep people I care for in my heart, as long as I keep helping those in need… I can still call myself human, right? I can’t imagine giving up people in need, mostly because I know how it is to be deprived of it.” “Hm? Is that so? Many people would actually use that as an excuse. Like - I have suffered, so now everyone else should suffer, or - because I knew pain, my actions are justified.” “Those are pitiful beings, I am sorry for their pain and try to understand what pushed them into such thoughts. Because… in the end, humans are tribal creatures. They need society, family, and friends. Because it is impossible to achieve everything on your own, no matter how much you work. You will never be able to build your house alone, watch over grazing sheeps, bake bread, forge tools... There are just not enough hours in a day, days in a year, years in a life. People who still think they are good enough alone are just… sad.” “And if you would have to choose between delivering your punishment on those who killed you and helping those in need?”

I froze, hearing this question. It… was not easy to answer. Thinking about this now, and looking back at everything I said, I should have said that I would keep defending people… but the truth is that…

“... I don’t know. I know what I should say, I know what would be the right thing to do, but, the truth is, that if I would see them here and now… I don’t know what I would do. And I don’t even want to think about it.”

Agnes rewarded me with a huge, reassuring smile.

“You really are a good person, aren’t you, Aster? I chose correctly this time.” “Hm? Chose what?” but she turned around and started walking away. “Nooo~thing ♪!” she said in a melodic tone. “Hey! Agnes, it’s your turn to answer me!” I yelled after her. “True, buuut, my throat hurts from all this talking! I won’t mind resuming from here, while having a good drink or two! Also, the middle of the camp at night sets me in a really bad mood… But I admit I indeed owe you that one answer, feel free to invite me on a beer or two when you want to continue this conversation!” she answered, not stopping nor even looking in my direction, vanishing between tents.

… Did she just?...

I have to admit this, she is one clever little creature.

Regardless of that, I continued to wait a little longer for the sun to completely die behind the horizon. Only then I took my sword and left the camp. Maybe other Lions had to rest after the entire day of march. Maybe they needed to replenish their strength before tomorrow's raid.

But I was not like them.

For these few past days I had become… dulled. No - not my skills or instincts, but rather my motivation. This short chat with Agnes allowed me to remind myself what this all was about. Why I helped those people. Why I joined the Lions. Why I cast aside gentle slumber in the Mist and instead rose up to continue my existence in this numbing coldness.

I raised my sword above my head before dropping it down, performing a quick, clean-cut, imagining that it was Michael standing in the path of my blade.

Focus, Asterouse. Remember. Try reminding yourself of the feeling of the sun gently tickling your skins with warmth. Try reminding yourself how it was to spend the night at a tavern, drinking with your friends.

Try remembering green eyes looking deep within you as gentle, soft lips were pressed against yours.

And now - know that all of this was taken from you, stolen! And so… remember the names…

“... Jack…” I cut “...Albert…” I slashed “...Michael…” I thrust, then twisted.

The list filled with names was hovering in front of my eyes. Some of the names were scratched down, some were still pulsating with strong, crimson light as if taunting me.

Calm down, Asterouse. Their time will come. Their time. Will come. For now, focus. Slash, pierce, dodge, and block. Push the blade off your shield and bash with it. You have created an opening - use it. Don’t forget about footwork! Keep your balance!

In my head I could hear the rebuking tone of Natasha, pointing out each flaw of my movement.

The night was young, cold air was spreading across my bones, revitalizing me in some twisted way. My motivation was once again steady. My real goal was burning me in the back of my mind. I was able to lose myself in training - in battles with endless waves of imaginary monsters.

Till the hour before the dawn, I remained there improving my swordsmanship, noble in my dulled anger, resonating through my bones, resurfacing under the pressure of night. Left alone, my pain and regrets were once again flashing before my eyes.

There, on that clearing, my suffering started growing, readying itself to bloom.

With the very first light, I was back at camp. Thanks to my training with Captain Ghost, I managed to enter the camp the same way I left it - unnoticed, before reentering my tent and pretending I was sleeping, waiting for others to wake up.

Then, as the camp was once again “living”, we quickly ate our breakfast and removed the tents before resuming our march towards the dungeon. We were supposed to reach it today.

Despite dulled emotions, I could feel the excitement starting to burn up in my mind. I remembered the night. I remembered hours of passionate training… But, something was missing. There was something I couldn’t recall. What was I thinking about during this training?

… Well, that was unimportant right now. All that mattered now was the raid which would take place in a few hours. Focus, Alabaster! You need to give it your all!