I headed for the bathing pool as soon as I had gathered a set of clean clothes. We had been able to wash away blood and grime at the main camp with melted snow and rags, but after everything that had happened I wanted the calm that came with soaking alone. At Gabbler Shore bathing in the lake had been one of few reprieves from the tent. Prevna didn’t follow me and, thankfully, no one else seemed to have the same idea when I arrived at the pool.

I took my time in the cool, refreshing water of the bathing pool. It was nice not needing to hurry because of freezing cold air or the knowledge that others were waiting. As I washed, I tried to prioritize my new problems now that I was back in the Seedling Palace.

Obviously, finding the missing stones was a top priority. They were the only link we had to drinking the shadows and gaining our first boon. The only way we had to progress in our training and become Sprouts.

The trouble came with the need to convince the other seedlings to help us. If it was Wren asking and I wasn’t included in the group I doubted that anyone would hesitate to help. As it was, even if someone else asked, I could easily picture Ulo, Nii, and Andhi refusing simply because I was involved as well. It had already happened once.

Perhaps I could bring Nii around if she was willing to put aside her misgivings about my blessing, but Ulo hadn’t liked me from the beginning and Andhi had good reason not to want to work with me after the first impression I gave her. Telling someone to get touched by a shamble man wasn’t something you could take back convincingly. Not that I was sure I could bring myself to tell her I didn’t mean it. She didn’t need to be any closer to me than she was and that comment acted as a perfectly good defense.

Part of me was tempted to take…alternative solutions. Once we had all the stones all they needed to do was hold them in place. If the three of them were tied up or slightly drugged or something they would be a lot easier to deal with. There’d be fallout after, of course, and I knew Dera and Wren wouldn’t be on board with that kind of plan, but the idea was still somewhat tempting.

I already had enough connections with others and I didn’t want to have to smile and painstakingly talk around the issues to gain their forgiveness or understanding. There was no way I was going to apologize directly. Not when they were giving as good as they got even if they were being more passive in their methods. Nor did I like the idea of being respectful to the three when they clearly wouldn’t act the same in kind, though I could be civil if it meant gaining the first boon.

Which led to the renewed problem with Jin and Yule. From what Esie said Yule was out for revenge and Jin had been threatening me even before I attacked Yule. It wouldn’t be surprising if either one of them made a move to get me removed from the palace soon, but there was little I could do to prepare for it. They could do anything from trying to make me step out of line—it hadn’t slipped my attention that Esie had warned me to be extra respectful to all whisper women—or pushing me off the edge of a branch during a supposed accident so that I would be too hurt to continue my training to become a whisper woman. If I ran into either of them I would have to put on my best face and use the skills I had developed during her most grating days even if the thought of doing so put a bad taste in my mouth.

Lastly, I sincerely doubted that I would be allowed to continue on at the palace as if nothing had happened to get me kicked out of it in the first place. Esie might have given me a bit of an informal warning along with some advice, but I would be surprised if that’s where it ended. Things were busy now with the change of seasons and the fallout that was sure to follow after we abandoned the main camp, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I was called in for questioning or another reprimand soon. They would want to make sure I understood my place. The true question was whether such a meeting would be handled by a leader among the whisper women or if it would handed off to another, like it had when Yule personally delivered my sentence. I hoped she wouldn’t be handed the lead again; it was frustratingly easy to picture her twisting things so that I got kicked out anyways, if she did.

Though the fact that she was spying on the Seed Landing for a sighting of me pointed to the possibility that she had been taken out of having a role when it came to making decisions about me. She wouldn’t have to take such awkward measures if she was being informed and expected to participate in a meeting.

I finished washing the soap out of my hair and got dressed in the fresh tunic and pants I had brought. Once my hair was braided out of the way I headed back to the housing platform and dropped off my old clothes. Grunts of effort came from the training area along with the sound of footfalls. No doubt Ulo and her group were practicing there again. They had made a habit of it when Jin disappeared.

I kept clear of the area, not wanting a confrontation, and headed for the garden—until I reached the narrow paths. I stopped cold a few feet from the gap they spanned, fear and annoyance coiling around in my gut. My teeth ground together. I hated feeling afraid, especially when I knew that if I held onto the rope on the larger path and paid attention that I would be fine. I knew that, but my feet still refused to move as the memory of air rushing by and the flaring pain in my side when I hit the railing settled over my skin.

Not that I could fall so far this time. Someone had found and appropriated a net that stretched under the two paths that already had ropes to help balance those who crossed them. It didn’t help the two ropeless paths at all, but apparently whoever had rigged the net thought that everyone used the ropes to cross or assumed that everyone who crossed those bridges accepted the great risk of falling.

I knew that the others had already collected the pouch that had been on the underside of the narrowest, ropeless path. It had held the violet stone Wren and Dera had shown Prevna and me earlier. Chirp had found it when he had been flitting around and helping search. I was glad that I didn’t have to worry about getting the storming thing myself, and that they had found the pouch when I hadn’t been able to mention it before, but the knowledge that I didn’t have to take that path and would have the extra safety of a net under me didn’t make my feet move any closer to the gap.

Which was idiotic. I had climbed the giant pine in the main camp yesterday and had been fine. Been near the edge of other platforms and had crossed over that pine needle bridge and hadn’t frozen. There was no reason why I should freeze here.

Except that, if I fell again, I couldn’t be sure that the net would hold or that I would land on another platform or offend a random whisper woman and get kicked out. If I fell again I could ruin what I had worked so hard to regain.

I glared at the stupid paths. Of course, the garden and library were on the other side of the things. Nothing I ever wanted was easy to obtain.

Well, I didn’t need them anyway. Not now. I could practice in the nook I had found or go over recipes in my head or search on this side of the narrow paths for more of the stones.

In the end, I turned around and headed for the outlook. Wren and Dera hadn’t said that they found a stone there yet and the view would be a good reminder that heights weren’t something to be bothered by.

My plans for a quiet bit of searching and enjoying the sights were dashed when I found Idra, of all people, leaning against the railing and looking out. She didn’t exactly startle as I approached but she did tense up and shift so that she could watch me. It was very odd to see her without Ento or Juniper nearby. Though she did look like she was recovering well from the blow the sea snake had given her.

I moved to the side of the path so that she could squeeze by me if she wanted to leave, but she stayed where she was. An awkward silence stretched between us as we both stood across from each other and stared. Idra’s look held a small measure of begrudging…respect well buried under distaste and annoyance.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “I thought you were frozen.”

I crossed my arms. “I was.”

“Hm.” Idra seemed to draw herself in tighter and muttered, “Dumb luck I bet.”

A dozen retorts sprang to the tip of my tongue and I had to work my jaw a little not to let the worst of them out. “About as dumb as doing absolutely nothing in the snake fight before getting knocked out.”

Idra let out a derisive snort but, surprisingly, she didn’t make another mocking comment. She pointedly kept her gaze on the distant scenery until she got annoyed with the silence again. “Go find someone else to stare at.”

“I was actually watching the needles in the breeze. Much more interesting.”

Idra lifted her chin and rolled her eyes.

I leaned on the railing next to me and asked, softer, “How are they?”

She didn’t need to ask who I meant. “Recovering. Juniper didn’t get hurt much worse than me. Not that—”

She cut herself off, cheeks a little pink as she realized she said more than she needed to. Still, Idra wasn’t exactly difficult to read. She didn’t think that Juniper should have been hurt at all and now she was blaming herself for the failure. Like as not, she was also probably taking the blame for Ento’s injury since the other girl had been caught flat footed when Idra’s shield got in the way.

Idra glared at me and crossed her arms. “Why do you even care?”

I shrugged one shoulder. “We fought together and you didn’t need to come.”

Idra’s lips pressed together. “Yes, we did.”

I pressed her a little more, “Why aren’t you with the others?”

She turned her back on me. “Go away.”

I left her to brood after staying put for several moments longer just to prove that I didn’t have to do as she said.

That plan ruined, I spent some time searching the other twisting paths in the area just in case the others had missed a stone when they looked through them while I was at the shore. Finding nothing after several frustrating hours, I took out my temper on the air as I practiced fighting with my knife in my hidden nook. By the time I listened to my bruised leg to stop and rest another hour had passed.

The rest of the day passed like that. I alternated between practicing in my nook and searching the surrounding areas for an errant stone; I only broke the pattern to slip down to the cooking area to snag something to eat when I thought no one else would be there. I ran into Loclen when I was out searching for stones but we kept the conversation brief. Loclen basically treated me as if I hadn’t been gone for a month other than a brisk question to check if I heard about what they discovered and a comment about how idiotic it was to attack whisper women, boasted about finding two of the stones, and tried to strong arm me into playing another game of circles and stones. I still didn’t understand why she cared so much about beating me at it, but I found myself promising to play another game with her because I didn’t care to stand there for minutes on end, arguing. She left quick after that and I kept up my new routine until it was time to go back to the dome and sleep.

Frankly, I was surprised that Yule or Jin hadn’t made a move against me during all the time I was alone, but then again, it wasn’t like their entire day could revolve around a seedling even if they did have a bone to pick with me.