《Wholly Undead》Chapter 149: A Demon of the Heart!
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"My sweet beloved Leslie... At the time, I also had alternative motives as well... But I've fallen for her. I believe she has also fallen for me, though I have to admit, I'm not sure if I treat her right."
"Then what's the problem?" Joan asked inquisitively.
"Ah, well... Even before my second Consort... There was, in fact, a female interested in me... The one you just met, Julia Verruca." Jack spoke to here and heard a resounding 'OOOooooh' from Joan.
"She is a strong-willed, well... Stubborn, and traditional woman. She still has feelings for me, but she can't live with the fact that I already have a Consort, let alone two..."
"So, if it wasn't for Warmarshal Verruca, you wouldn't have any problems," Joan asked oddly.
"I can't say that... There is still my second Consort," Jack admitted.
"...Well just cut off ties with her, or let her know it's either be at your side with your women, or she needs to look for a mate somewhere else. It sounds pretty simple to me."
"But it's not fair to her... That's why I feel so bad about this."
"It sounds like you need to be more decisive... I don't understand." Joan's voice portrayed her confusion.
"Hmmm? What do you mean?" Jack asked in his own confusion.
"How does the same undead take me out of my confinement with the confidence to cure my madness, and then set about getting me a new body with drive... And then comes to his office and wallows in self-doubt and indecisiveness?"
"Well, this and that are two different things." Jack understood what she was saying.
"Not really. You just apply that same feeling to your women and your unlife..." Joan advised.
"Well, it hurts to see her acting..."
[This Verruca has become a demon of the heart of my God-King...] Joan thought to herself, as she decided what to speak next.
"Are you a man? I mean, my God-King, I do not wish to question your wisdom, but if I am allowed to speak freely as you have asked without punishment... Are you sure you are a man?"
"What?"
"What man cares? All males want is domination, no matter the race. So why are you caring about the feelings of one woman? Either push her away or take her... Stop this indecisiveness."
"I told her I just wanted to be friends with the ability to be more, but it's just a patch. I know this... I'm just putting off the future." Jack complained.
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"You already took a good step. Leave it at that! Friends and no more! Don't concern yourself with her personal life. Leave everything professional, and move on with your current Consorts." Joan continued to advised.
"Just forget about her? That doesn't seem right... I wronged her the moment I choose Leslie over her. I never gave her a fair chance."
"Again with fairness! Nothing is fair in unlife... shit, life either! So, you are unfair to her. Get over it, and let her move on if you have too. Leave it as is... Just make a choice, and stick with it. Why care at all? You have bigger things to deal with..."
"Hmmmm... I guess I can only do what I have always done." Jack shrugged.
"And what is that my God-King," Joan asked hopefully, thinking he had made a great choice.
"I'm going to stop caring. I'm too tired to care anymore... This might be a temporary fix, but it doesn't matter."
"...Can you just stop caring...?" Joan asked, because if he could... Why didn't he do that, to begin with???
"I didn't want to be like that, but I can't think of a good solution, and all you have offered is make a choice for her. I would like her to make her own choice... But that is the problem isn't it." Jack spoke to here, waiting for Joan to catch up.
"...Why is that a problem...?"
"Julia has too much pride as a woman, even if she is fragile on the inside. She will not pursue me. Remember she is a traditional woman. If I pursue her, that might pressure her into a choice, and if I do nothing, she will accept the status quo, forever longing."
"Oh... I see... I guess that's something, as well. I mean... If there was a male I liked, I would just tell them. I guess I don't understand that kind of tradition." Joan spoke up to here.
"And was there a male that you liked?"
"Haha, no," Joan recalled.
"Hmmm? A lady then?"
"I might have experimented with soul bonding with my fair share of both sides, but I can't say I had one I fancied either."
"So you like both?"
"I like the person and not the gender... Like, I like you... In spite of your self induced misery."
"So, if I say lets bone, you would be all about it." Jack laughed.
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"Is this hypothetical, or should we start talking about how I like it?" Joan asked eagerly.
"Errr... Yeah, but you would only do this because I'm the God-King, and not because of me, as a person."
"...You lack confidence... How does one become a god like this??? This world is truly unfair..." Joan complained.
Jack stood up from behind his desk, and slammed his fist on the desk, as golden sparks shattered and sprayed around him, "What do I have besides godhood! What do I have besides a kingdom! No one cares about me as a person, but only what I have or what I am! No one cares about who I am!"
Joan quivered in her Jar at this outburst, "Then who are you?" She quivered from fear, but with excitement...
[He was indeed the God-King! Such raw power!] Joan thought to herself.
"Me? I... I am..." Jack sat back down slumping into his chair.
"I'm no one... I'm empty inside. Nothing makes me happy..."
"But you said you loved your first Consort... Doesn't she make you happy? What about your second Consort? You haven't said much about her."
Jack waved his hand in the air, "I do like my second Consort, Emily... But she isn't with me of her own free choice. I plan to give her freedom... She then can go search for her own love. Her, too, I have wronged."
"Does she want freedom? I know, I don't." Joan spoke up.
"What?"
"I don't want to be free. I want to be bound to you, as your tool. Murder is what I do, and I hope you treat me well. If I was free, then I couldn't murder." Joan commented.
"Yeah, but you have a choice. I don't think my second Consort has ever had a choice. My gift to her will be that choice."
"Well, like I asked... Doesn't your first Consort make you happy?" Joan pressed.
"...Yes... She does, but I don't deserve her."
"Says who?" Joan questioned.
"She's too good of a woman... She tolerates the fact I even have a second Consort, and she even made sisters with her... She's willing to put up with me being what I am. How can I compare to her?"
"Is this a rhetorical question?" Joan asked slightly angered.
"What's your problem?" Jack asked while glancing at the Jar.
"You can't change you are a God-King! That's not what you are! That's WHO you are! You haven't accepted what you are?!? How did this happen? You have two Consorts because you are this! You have power because this is who you are! Accept your lot! There are undead that are literally surviving with eternal hunger! Others may be buried to never see the Light of day, and only the erosion of time will release them from their torment! There are undead that don't have homes! You have everything!" Joan roared!
Jack slightly shocked by what he was hearing.
"My God-King... You have everything, but you act as if you have nothing... Power is a burden but it comes with many boons... Have you lost sight of the reason you have power?"
Jack thought over these words... The more he thought about it, the more he thought these words were right... This is what he needed... He needed someone that would challenge him! Not someone that would roll over and show their belly, when he appeared. Even though he had many depending on him, he was still lonely... He didn't want to burden his Consorts with this nonsense anymore and was the reason he opened up to an undead he barely knew...!
"I understand. I wanted the power to protect what I have, and to rule without equal," Jack spoke aloud.
[I accepted being Jack Bonereaper, but I didn't accept being God-King, or the power of my position... Well, damn it... I am me, and I am the fucking God-King.] Jack decided on his course of action.
"Thank you, Joan. I think I have a course. It's late now, where do you wish to rest? Here in my office or somewhere else?" Jack asked out of courtesy.
[This demon has only been eased... It'll flair again... I need to figure out how to help my God-King... His first Consort can help me.] Joan decided.
"I wish to sleep beside you. Just take me to your room. I would also like to meet your Consorts." Joan spoke with her usual rough voice.
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