《Song of Helheim: Homecoming》V
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The sound of rapid footsteps reached General Adrianus’s hearing much quicker than he would have thought possible. Sighing he let go of the consul chamber’s doors where he had been having a meeting with several men discussing the news of the war that threatened to break out on the Helheim-Kurtz border. He had just gotten up and left, telling them there was a most urgent matter he had to attend to and ignoring the portests as he simply strode out of the room, taking Emilia with him.
It was an urgent matter, after all his son, his first born was still alive, something Adrianus had given up on that hope almost six years ago. He knew that this was not going to be the happy reunion that it would be for most families after all his family was not most families. No, instead there was a black mark on this reunion, one named Emilia.
Adrianus liked the girl, hell he had taken her in and trained her himself, she was somewhat of a protogy in her arts, able to use les reagents to cast more devistating spells at further range than even Adrianus himself. But she was still a girl, one that had made a series of bad dessions that were about to bite Adrianus in the ass.
No doubt Adrian had figured out who his former fiance’s husband was, and had come to his own conclusions, ones that would indeed seem valid. Contrary to what his son currently belived he had never forced Ema into Janus’s bed, infact when he had found out that the two of them were... cohorting he had flown into such a rage that it had made rumor’s at court. The ashes of his son her fiance not even a year old and she was already bedding another man? And even worse it was his younger brother?
He didn't care for the excuses they used, about how it had been natural, two greeving souls lost coming together…
Well, Adrianus had grieved, but you didn't see him crawling into his son’s fiance’s bed now did you? Still, it was better that it be him that took this blow, not that he wanted to protect Emilia or Janus, but he didn't wish for little Adrian to suffer.
No, not his grandson, he would take this like a man, because he deserved it, he should have had her watched, should have kept a closer eye on her, and this issue would not be a thing. Turning around he watched as his son stormed towards him, he knew that look, that feeling Adrian had in the pit of his stomach. ‘He might well hate me now...’ Adrianus thought just as Adrian pulled up infront of him. He staired at his son, tall and proud, angry and sad. ‘This is going to hurt.’ he thought.
And he was right.
The fist hit him just above the left eye causing stars to dance across his vison, the pain blocking out all of the coherent thoughts fleeing from his mind. And then he did something monumentally stupid, someting he had told himself he wouldnt do, something that he knew would make this only that much worse.
He hit back.
It was a blind mindless thing, something his body did out of reflex, even as his brain screamed not to. Years of training can do that to a man…
A pained huff left Adrian’s lips as he was rammed in the midriff by his father’s head, picked up bodily from the ground and pinned down against the hard as stone and just as cold tiles with a panful thump that he knew he would feel for the next week or so. His mind cleared just enought to see his father’s fist come down towards his face, and he barely reacted in time, shifting his bodyweight sliding his face to the side. He felt the sharp sting as the fist slid past his cheekbone, a ring on the third finger carving a gouge before slamming into the unforgiving slabs of stone and morter with a sickening crunch. Not waiting for his father to do another blow he brought his fist up and slammed it into the General’s side, driving up under the bone of his ribs, aiming for the kedneys. His father hissed out a breath of pain and let loose enought for Adrian to buck out of the hold his father had on him. Dancing back a step he dodged the punches and slipped to the right side of the fist coming at his face, grabbing the feild marhsal’s arm he used it to draw the man down into his knee which was at this moment driving upwards from the side. The blow landed on the left side of Adrianus’s ribs cracking at least two of them. Though that simply seemed to make his father all the madder.
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Adrian didn't see the right hook coming, he simply felt something like the weight of a mountain to slam into his face from the side sending him staggering into an ornimented vace that had only seconds before. With a scream of primal rage and frustration Adrian barroled into his father, practically using his body as a battering ram against the consol door, splintering the trim and allowing the two of them to fall inside startiling the dozen or so Nobles in the room and sending the men of the army’s reaching for blades and pistols. Adrian only got in one more shot to his father before he was dragged bodily off of the General and physically restrained, his arms behind his back and his face pressed into the lush carpet a pistol to the back of his head
“What is the meaning of this!” Sir Gialman demanded, the dandy fop mopping his brow while hiding behind his chair. “Assasins?!” a set of hands reached donwn and Adrianus was lifted to his feet.
“Settle down Gialman, there are no assassins, just some personal family matters that unfortunately crept into the wrong room,” Adrianus said, spitting out a wad of blood onto the expensive carpets. Five gods be damned if that last punch wasn't the hardest Adrianus had ever felt, he rolled his jaw around a little, slightly worried it had been dislocated, or he had lost a tooth or something like that “ Let him up, I am the one at fault for this.” reluctant hands let Adrian up, but they did not leave the butts of their pistols or the hilts of their swords. “Adrian, son-”
“Don’t,” Adrian cut him off, “you have lost that right, I am not your son anymore.” Adrianus felt that blow even deeper and more painful than anything physical he could have ever, it was a struggle to keep it off of his face, to keep that emotionless mask there in place.”Isi!” Adrian snapped and the small savage girl appered at his side, a hand gengerly reaching up to brush the small ammount of blood off of his cheekbone. “We are leaving, we have things to do.” he snapped a rather mocking salute to his father and turned on his heels and moved to leave, several men and women moved to block his path.
“Let him go,” Adrianus barked, loss deep in his chest, images of his son smiling when he was just a happy young child. That child was gone, Adraus was sure of it now more than ever. “I have wronged him enought for one life time.” he whispered to himself,.
“General, no offense but you look like total shit,” a woman said, causing Adrianus to look down at himself. There was blood and spittle all over his dress clothes, well tose parts of which were still intact that was, seeing as he had lost several buttons somewhere in the scuffle and a good section of the jacket was ripped away revealing his shoulder.
“Hmm, yes and you are stillas beutiful as ever lady Jesamene,” he gave hier his best court smile and turned to look at the rest of the consul. “Perhaps a short resess is in order to allow me to freshen up, what say you to an hour?”
***
Adrian took a deep breath and leaned back on the steps of the cathedral, his elbows resting on the cold worn stone, one leg streched out down the stairs and the other bent off to the side in a rather relaxed maner. Isi was next to him,dabbng at the wound on his cheek with a cloth she had gotten from somwhere, sometimes it was best to not ask questions…
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He brushed off her hand and reached into his pocket to retrive the reagents. A sardonic smile graced his lips as he pulled the tin box out of his coat and looked at it, the damn thing had been dented in something fierce, the lid, which normally held the powders and other reagents in their individual compartments was twisted just enough to have allowed the majority of the ingredients to pour out. As he wrenched the lid off his smile grew even wider, inside the Ichor bottle had broken, oozing into over half of the small contaners, rendering them useless. “Thats about right,“ he laughed, looking over at Isi, “that was just what was called for on a day like today right?”
The corner of her lips twerked up in a small smile as she shrugged her shoulders. “Ak Ikháno,” she said with a shrug.
“You dont know?” he scoffed, “Yeah right, why dont you speak my language again?”
“Su bunna kiyo,” she smiled at him.
“Oh, I see how it is, simply because you dont want to?” he snorted pulling his head back and looking at her from a different angle.
“Ome,” she nodded, her face stern but her eyes smiling.
“Fucking woman, you know I think you do it just to annoy me. Hmmm? What do you think of that?” she simply shrugged a small smile twitching at the corner of her lips. He sighed as he looked up at the sky. “That could have gone better,” he gunted, tossing the useless tin of reagents away not evenlooking as they clattered down some steps, disgorging more of the contents in the process.
“Ish tvshka hittak issish?” she asked, once again scooting infront of him and looking him in the eyes.
“No, I am not tribeless now, it is just my tribe only has two at the moment,” he smiled as he looked at her, she rolled her eyes and pushed back at him, her small hand shoving his shoulder.”What?” he asked, “it’s true isnt it?”
“Ish anuka kvtah okhvta?” she asked, cocking her head to the side and batting her pretty lashes at him.
“Oh now that is cold!” he barked out laughing, “clearly the other person in my tribe is you,” he said. It was good to see that she had still retained her wit and humor even after two years in that hell hole. She smiled and leaned forward, her nose practically touching his she tilted her head ever so slightly before moving forward, it was a slow kiss, one as soft as humanly possible, the simple brush of her lips on his, or at least that was how it started, his tongue slipped into her mouth and her teeth instinctively closed warding her inner mouth off from the invader. His tongue ran its course up against her teeth, tracing each and everyone he could get to with determination to memorize each and every surface of her mouth. Slowly her teeth parted ever so slightly, and his tongue pounced on this like a wolf on prey, shooting forward into the slowly opening gap his tongue searched out and called out to her own, slowly her tongue answered as it came out of her mouth ever so slightly and began a dance with his own, each feeling out its dance partner, each wrapping and coiling around the other.
The tenderness, however, was short-lived as she pressed her lips into his with a hunger. Her fingers ran through the brown hair of his head knocking off the tricorn hat that had rested there seconds before, her nails digging into his scalp as she twined her fingers into the short locks that framed his face and pulled him into the kiss even deeper.
Gods, it was good.
She moaned into his mouth as his lips pressed to hers and she knew that if he was pressing any harder she would have melted into him there and then. His spare hand trailed up her leg, drawing a line of fire on her leg as he made his way up to the bulge of her thighs and over those to the round of her hips. From there he traced his fiery line from her hips across her torso towards her…
She pulled away, a thin strand of shining saliva catching the dull light of the greyish sun for the breifest of seconds before it was gone. A mischevious smile played on her lips she peered into his hungry eyes. “Nashoba,” she laughed the smerk on her lips as she swotted his shoulder.
“Ill show you a wolf,” he growled low in his chest, which caused her to giggle and attempt to pull away from him. As if he would let her go after that...
***
Adrian was left only in the cotton pants he wore, as the wind blew throught the cheep inn’s shoddy walls and against his bare flesh he undid the belt strap that held up her skirt. Slowly he slid it down, only to have her hands stop him before he was able to fully remove it.
“We can stop if you want,” he said, but she simply rolled her eyes at this, it was not like this was her first time. She slipped a finger under the waist band of her leather riding pants and shimmied them down her legs, revealing the bare flesh underneath. It was a lighter shade than the golden brown of her face and arms, almost a soft copper color.
She had no hair anywhere to be found besides what was on her head, he had been surprised when he had seen that, but then again he shouldnt have been, Scraeling didn't have much in the way of bodyhair, hell even their men couldn't grow beards.
He must have stared at it too long because she crossed her legs and shoved him slightly that lopsided smile on her lips again.
“Arms up,” he said.
“Hmmm?” she feigned ignorance of what he just said, but he was having none of it at this second, he burned to bad to play too many games...
“Arms up,” he repeated, and no more protests she did as he asked. In one quick movement he removed the frilled blouse revealing her chest, she was still skinny, much much to skiny but the past week had lessened the starved look she had. Her ribs still protruded, but not quite as far, perhaps within the month they could get her back to where she needed to be...
Her skin was a deep copper here aswell, like a summer sunset over the ocean, but her nippels had a darkness about them, almost a reddish brown, this included the areolas surrounding them. Without the cloth of the corset pushing them up, they were much smaller looking, but this was in no way a bad thing.
He leaned over and placed his lips by her ear, softly he bit the lobe, pulling slightly, before moving down and kissing her on the neck. He felt her shudder and smiled, her hands coming up to cover her breasts.
She did this every time, like she was embarrassed by her own breasts, she had never said anything, but he had always gotten the impression she was a little insecure about her small size, both in terms of stature as well as build.
With a slow motion, he licked from the top of her neck all the way down to her collarbone, and back up again, taking his time to breath in the smell of her hair and skin. Adrian pulled back, looking at her for a second before he kissed her on the lips moving down to press his lips against her chin, and the neck, and the collarbone, and once he got to her chest he kissed her hands that covered the breasts.
Slowly he kissed each finger, each knuckle, and before long she removed her hands, reveiling her brests to him. He moved in slowly, never breaking eye contact with her and ever so lightly put his lips against her breasts.
His lips barely grazed her, but that was exactly what shot so much through her body. He softly kissed her and was rewarded by a moan.
With a smile he placed her right nipple in his mouth, gently sucking on it and rolling it around with his tongue. Isi moaned even louder this time, forcing her to bring up her hand to her mouth and bite on the crook of her index finger.
“Ahhhhh-nnnnnnnn” came the muffled sound from her mouth.
He ran his tongue down the center of her belly, tracing the curves and ridges from her diaphragm to her belly button. He paused here and gave her a kiss, and then one lower. With a wet tongue he traced down her to between her legs, he softly planted a kiss on her thigh, feeling her shiver in anticipation. With slow kisses and small licks he made his way in closer.
The labia that presented itself to him was thick, with well formed mounds that were currently quivering cutely. With a gentle tongue he traced the curve they formed ,he slowly pushed it open to reveal the prize.
He started sucking on it playing around with it in his mouth with his tongue. With his hands he took a finger and spread her open and invaded the secret garden she had hidden away.
He slipped a finger just into the entrance and rubbed the sensitive skin located there, even as he played with her clitorus. He drew his tongue up and over the top of the labia before pulling away to look at her.
Her eyes were closed and she was biting her finger in a desperate plea to not let out any noise. Adrian smiled, he bent over and watching her reaction he lightly licked her again. He started to stir around inside of her with his finger, soon adding a second and then a third. As he worked on her she began moving her hips with his motions. Soon he felt the vaginal walls tighten around his finger, and she arched her back, muscle spasming and liquid gushing out of her.
She was currently panting heavily, flopped down on the bed, her eyes glazed over.
He pulled his head up from between her legs and started to crawl forward, licking everywhere as he ran his tongue from her lower area up to the belly button. He began tracing a wet line slowly up to her breasts.
He slowly licked every inch of her small mounds, making sure to pay special attention to the areolas and nipples, which he playfully rolled around in his mouth.
But even as his mouth toyed with her up above he did not leave out her lower lips. With his spare hand he slowly reached between her thighs and inserted his middle finger. Her eyes went wide he invaded her sacred place.
He pushed a second finger in and slowly spread her hole open. Hooking his fingers ever so slightly he rubbed against the slick walls of her vagina. And he spread her open by opening the gap between his fingers.
Between this and the toying around with her chest she climaxed again. As she did she wrapped her arms around his neck and held on for dear life. He smiled and slipped his fingers out of her and looked deeply at her current twitching form and vacant expression.
With a smile he pulled off his pants and freed his cock that had been straining against the fabric underneath uncomfortably this entire time. Her eyes focused when she caught a glimpse of it.
“Ready?” he asked, she didn't answer, her amethyst eyes heated up so much it almost looked like they glowed
He positioned himself with his right hand and slowly opened the entrance with the tip of his shaft. Her eyes flew open wide as he entered slowly he started to move in and out of her.
With every time he pushed into her she made a soft moan, her eyes locked on his as her hands came up to wrap around the back of his neck. Slowly his movements ramped up, she closed her eyes, attempting to breathe as he moved around inside her, but how could she breath when she couldn't even think?
A thin strand of drool leaked out of the corner of her mouth and he ran his tongue over the path it had traced from her chin to her lips.
“Ahhh! Ahh!” she cried out as she climaxed. Her back arched as the muscles spasmed throughout her entire body, her hands reaching up around his back and her nails biting into his skin.
With a final thrust harder than any of the rest he plunged deep and came to rest as far as she could humanly allow. She felt him tremble, and not just his body. His member swelled in size before a torrent of warmth flowed out of him and into her stomach as he practically collapsed ontop of her.
“AHHHHHH!” she screamed and locked her legs around his back as she felt the warmth enter her and she climaxed.
She lay there, her lower lips still trembling with him still inside her, he pulled back panting, his hands still around her neck. As he pulled away she lifted a hand to his face, gently running her hand down line of his jaw.
“Holtopa Nashoba,” she panted, her legs still wrapped around his lower body, locking him in place. “Holtopa Um Nashoba,” she breathed out smiling.
My darling wolf…
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- In Serial261 Chapters
Lineage Saga (Kingdom Building Fantasy)
[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge] The continent of Erdenia is in flux, nations large and small move to swallow their neighbors. Roving bands of marauders pillage the countryside, and the seas are choked with piracy. Against this backdrop upon the central island of Syroneika exists the Mercan League, an alliance of city states ruled by the Archon from his seat in the Capital, Merlabria. Yet all is not well beneath the surface. The Archon’s health is waning, while the House of Mercan appears on the verge of conflict. Both princes vie for the Archonship, with the aristocracy close behind looking to settle old scores. In the immediate west the Althai Federation is in a state of civil war, the conflict spilling over the border into the League, while nobles’ squabble over petty slights. In this time of growing conflict, the Archon has summoned the warlord of the southern frontier, bulwark against the horrors of the dark forest, and former Grand Scholar of the court. Behind the scenes pieces are in play, and the Scholar possesses numerous enemies, many still envious of his meteoric rise to power. A simple trip to the capital may be more than it appears. However, the branches of fate are fickle things, a single encounter could change the course of history. Or perhaps that is simply the will of fate, and nothing has changed at all, who could know? Could the meeting between a simple slave and a warlord truly be fate’s bough? And if so, where could that lead? Read this if you like: Army Building Rational Combat War and Strategy Gritty Violence in a Dark unforgiving world Realistic and engaging characters Medieval/Classical Economics and R&D Do not read if: Looking for OP MC (power gain is gradual) Last minute Deus Ex Machina moments Want Evil enemies who are evil just to be villains Can't stand Slow Development and extensive world building You can join the Discord here: Lineage Discord Channel Cover Art created by: Illusstation Check out their work: Illusstation's page Updates Monday-Thursday (Guaranteed) [more chapter releases per week are possible depending on buffer and as rewards for events I announce]
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How can anyone escape, when time is held in your enemy’s grasp? Stalked by a monstrous bird-like wizard, with the power to manipulate time, fifteen year old Phynley Okie has never known safety. Staying alive only because of the warnings of a strange brown eyed boy and an extraordinary ability of her own, she has lived on the run. Caught in the crime life of Tetrad, Phynley delivers a letter that has her stumbling onto a brewing conflict. Talk of impending doom and secret alliances; the world is never quite what it seems. As the dark forces move she is caught in the cross hairs. Thrown into a fight she isn’t ready for and a destiny she doesn't want, Phynley has to decide if she will run away once more or face the very thing she fears the most. Becoming a hero is a difficult thing. After all, picking up that sword means you might die by it…. (Book 1) Catalyst: Complete (Book 2) Static: Complete
8 84 - In Serial6 Chapters
The Curio Shoppe
Kellan Klein is an ordinary college student with an average, if traumatic and painful past. Everyone grows up grappling with depression and anxiety that seem to be genetic in a house with parents that, while loving, fight all the time and have weird ideas about what kids should and shouldn't do, right? Everyone deals with bullying, racism, judgement on their romantic inclinations and their family's economic status and just general shittiness, right? All of Kellan's friends sure did, and for all of them, entertaiment media were a welcome escape from their painful, dreary lives. After all, who wouldn't want to sail the seas with Monkey D. Luffy and the Strawhats, or help Meng Hao con increasingly powerful and influential people, or join Cecil Harvey and his friends on their weird journey to save the world, or make friends with Peter Parker while pretending to not know he was everyone's favorite wall-crawling superhero? Kellan certainly wanted to, and while he pursued college to seek out a career he saw himself enjoying, something felt inexplicably empty about his life. So when a decidely sinister force kidnaps him and the prettiest man he's ever seen saves his life and offers him his wildest dreams, Kellan becomes the shopkeeper of a mysterious, dimension hopping shop, complete with a system that helps him acquire items. abilities, materials, and other cool shit to stock it with, as well as some other neat perks. Will Kellan become a boring overpowered MC, like the kind from web fiction that he reads to sate his boredom? Will he keep his generally kind, sweet nature despite the shit he's gone through and will go through, or will he inexplicably become a scary, violent, irrational arrogant douchebag? Will he use his newfound abilities to explore the multiverse and improve the lives of himself and others, or will he become his own antithesis, a purely mercantile jerk obsessed with money and profit, with no concern for anything that doesn't help or hurt his business? Find out in The Curio Shoppe! Author's note: Please suggest possible setting he could visit in the comments. I'll gather ones i'm familiar with, and at the end of every arc, a poll will be held to decide the next location he visits. There will be polls for other purposes, and I might not always go with the poll winner if I feel one of the other options is more fun to read/write about. I will not use the settings of other RRL writers without their permission.Do not ask for that, unless the author in question gives permission. Most settings he visits will be slightly AU in some way or another, but please remind me if I drift too far from canon unintentionally or characterize a character wrongly. This work will eventually fit all tags I selected once he visits universes suited to those tags, so don't ask when or where a given tag is coming. I do not own the cover art, it belongs to Nicholas Belanger Thiel, and I will stop using it if he asks me to. Kellan doesn't look like the old man on the cover, though once he acquires a disguise-type ability he may occasionally use that appearance. The tapir, however, will be a thing, as despite looking like a failed attempt at an elephant, tapirs are cool and this dragon finds them to be kinda cute. The art, along with more of Nicholas's pieces, can be found at https://www.artstation.com/artwork/51bXz
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Beyond Tomorrow
The galactic war has shaken the galaxy since prehistory, but mankind knew nothing of it. Like most of the truths of the universe, it was kept secret. Among the travelers arriving in New Westminster in 1879 is Cylas Renford of Indiana, a man seeking his fortune after trying a long string of trades. His new friend and companion, Morninghawk, warns him of strange occurrences in the wilderness and the myth of a secret people, but Cylas fails to heed the warnings. An innocent walk in the woods and a series of coincidences will bring Cylas face to face with criminals, monsters, startling weapons, the secret people, and will culminate in being propelled Beyond Tomorrow. Written in the tradition of American dime novels of the 19th century and the planetary fantasies of Edgar Rice Burroughs, Beyond Tomorrow is a pulpy first person tale of adventure in a future where the world itself has become an alien place. This LGBTQ adventure has a gay male protagonist and is non-explicit, in keeping with 19th century pulp writing. This work has been broken into sub-chapters for its posting here and will be updated regularly.
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Adam & Eve: A Romantic Sci-Fi
After hundreds of years traversing the vastness of interstellar space, the ship's artificial intelligence begins gestating frozen embryos. It will raise and educate the men and women who will colonize a new world. Unfortunately, the gestation chamber fails after only two children are birthed. With questions to homeworld requiring years for an answer, the AI is uncertain how to continue the mission as their destination looms closer. Meanwhile, alone on the ship, the two children grow into adults under the watchful eye of the AI and its robotic avatars. ------------ Release Dates Prologue — 2022 June 24 Chapter 1 — 2022 June 24 Chapter 2 — 2022 July 01 Chapter 3 — 2022 July 07 Chapter 4 — 2022 July 14 Chapter 5 — 2022 July 21 Chapter 6 — 2022 July 28 Epilogue — 2022 August 04 [end] STEM Puzzles — 2022 August 04 Copyright © 2021, Mark Wilkinson. All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, psychic, copying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher. Published by MarkWilx, MarkWilx and the MarkWilx logo are trademarks owned by Mark Wilkinson. Cover image: Composition by Mark Wilkinson via Affinity Designer by Serif; background, “GOODS/ERS2 FIELD,” by Hubble Space Telescope; public domain; credits: NASA, ESA, R. Windhorst, S. Cohen, M. Mechtley, and M. Rutkowski (Arizona State University, Tempe), R. O’Connell (University of Virginia), P. McCarthy (Carnegie Observatories), N. Hathi (University of California, Riverside), R. Ryan (University of California, Davis), H. Yan (Ohio State University), and A. Koekemoer (Space Telescope Science Institute). Text: Title text is Edwardian Script by International Typeface Corporation. Header text is Myriad Pro (sans-serif) by Carol Twombly and Robert Slimbach, Adobe. Body text is Minion Pro (serif) by Robert Slimbach, Adobe; and Courier (fixed-width) by Howard “Bud” Kettler, IBM. Font appearance may vary in electronic presentations. Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The author does not imply an interpretation of, nor does he contest, the account of Adam & Eve contained in Genesis, The Holy Bible, which can be found at the website for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints or other Christian faiths. He invites all to read and ponder this book of scripture, and to seek divine inspiration in discovering its teachings. Disclaimer: This book is also available for purchase as a DRM-free ePub or Mobi from Amazon Kindle, Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Drive-Thru Fiction, Google Play, and Rakuten Kobo.
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Write Better: Tips and tricks
The guide for aspiring fiction writers who want to improve, sharpen, review, and/or learn. Warning! This book encourages editing and contains many tips that often require revision. Practice makes perfect, and it's good to workout your mental muscles. The more you do now, the better your writing will be later (because you'll correct yourself *before* you get it on paper). If you think your writing is perfect or you're lazy or unwilling to try new shoes on your baby, just turn away now. You'll find this guide about as useful as hoarding frozen peas.
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