《The Only Real Cultivator》Chapter 86
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“Sure?” Brian said. I sighed internally, knowing he would regret that, at least a little.
“Can I give you a hug?” Jing asked.
“...Sure?” Brian said.
Jing tackled him, “Yay! I got another one!” Jing squeezed him, “you’re sturdy too, like big sis! I can hug you as hard as I want.” Brian froze, not knowing how to react.
“That’s just how she is,” I said, giving him a deadpan look, “You get used to it,”
Brian hugged her back awkwardly. His chin caught on her shoulder, he opened his mouth and asked, “Wait a second. You made a servant. How come she’s not a battle maid?”
He knows me too well. I smiled sheepishly, “That was the plan, but then she started calling me papa, so…”
“I didn’t know about that,” Jing pouted. “Whatever. Let’s show him big sis!”
The trapdoor leading to our basement opened. A vine rose from it with Hui Ming standing on top. She saw Jing hugging Brian and decided he wasn’t an enemy. She jumped off the vine.
“Introduce yourself to uncle!”
She bowed. “I’m Hui Ming, Grandmaster Jin’s servant.”
“Battle maid,” Jing corrected.
“Uh-yes, battle maid.”
“How like you,” Brian observed, smirking.
“Like you’re any different,” I said, punching his shoulder.
“You’re not wrong,” he said. “Lemonade!”
A rather curvy young girl walked into the living room wearing a short frilly black dress. I could only tell it was supposed to be a maid uniform because of our conversation. Jing and I glared, “Pathetic.”
Huh? Jing, too? I thought I was the only one so obsessed with battle maids. Yeah, Jing must’ve said that for something else.
Brian and Lemonade shrunk. “What?” Brain complained. Jing stomped and got up, cracking her knuckles and lifting her chin like a mafia boss. Lemonade gulped.
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“This is a disgrace! This is supposed to be a french maid uniform, not a porno or some slutty halloween costume.” She pointed to Hui Ming, “This uniform on big sis is the real way to design a maid uniform. A white apron over the black dress. Long black sleeves that cover skin and conceal weapons. The hem, or bottom, of the dress should fall to just above the ankles, unlike your trashy skirt of a maid uniform,” she spat the word ‘skirt’.
My back straightened in utter surprise. Holy shit! Yes! I wanted to give Jing a big hug right there and then, but we had something more important to do. “Psst,” I whispered, “say something about her stockings.” Jing gave me a thumbs up and winked.
Jing slapped Lemonade’s plump, exposed thigh, making it jiggle. “What are these?” she glared.
“Um...”
“You fool!” Jing exclaimed and shook her head. “Fishnet stockings! Badly made ones, at that! Do you really think french maids used fishnet stockings? I’ll have you know that true french maids are from the nineteenth century, while fishnet stockings came far later.” I nodded in approval. She jumped back and landed on the couch, her shoulder touching mine. I grinned and put my arm around her. That’s my girl!
I skipped to Hui Ming and pat her dress, “This is a proper maid uniform. I’d give you a step by step process of how it was maid, but you plebs wouldn’t understand anyway.”
Hui Ming and Lemonade stared at us as if we were deviants. Brian would've joined them in thier staring, but he didn't have eyes.
“Don’t you d-dare speak ill of his majesty’s artistic genius!” Lemonade cried. We ignored her.
“Hmph. Don’t underestimate my character designs. Lemonade, do the thing,” Brian said.
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“Yes, your excellency,” she squeaked. Jing and I leaned forward in unison. A tail peeked out from underneath her skirt and two small horns poked out from her hair. Jing and I pulled our heads back and looked at each other.
Hey, I thought, that’s actually pretty good, isn’t it?
Yeah…, Jing thought, but we can’t admit that.
We both nodded and turned back to Lemonade. She cowered under our gaze.
“A demon maid girl?” I laughed. “How much more generic can you get? Come to think of it, half ‘your majesty’s’ creations are ridiculous. A flaming horse. An ice skating magician. You even have a flying laser baby. And Er Yi. A white haired young teen that can control electricity? Really?”
“Well, I put an original touch to his character,” Brian said, turning his head away from me.
“So? What is it?” I narrowed my eyes.
“Er…”
“Hm?” Jing said, cracking her neck, doing her mafia boss impression again.
Brian turned away. “He… She’s a reverse trap.”
My jaw dropped.
In summary,
Reason #1 I’m friends with Brian: He puts up with my shit.
Reason #2 I’m friends with Brian: I put up with his shit.
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