“For the third, and hopefully final time, we are not bandits.” Dean knew he was letting his exasperation leak into his tone, but he was far beyond caring.

“But that’s exactly what bandits would say. Combine that with the whole ‘come to our secret hideout’ thing, and I have to say, I’m highly skeptical.”

“WHY the everliving FUCK would we want to rob you? We’re all surviving out here! I guess I’d understand your ‘concerns’ if you had a really nice weapon or something, but you fucking don’t! You have a shield! Great! Even if it’s fucking magical or something, we don’t have any shield users. We need willing people to fight with us so we can fucking live. How can you be this dumb and not be dead?!”

“Well, now you’re just being rude. Why would I willingly associate with rude people? Be along your way.”

Dean’s eye twitched as the recurring thought of throttling this stupid man became more and more tempting.

“IT’S NOT HANGING OUT, IT’S FUCKING SURVIV-... Ugh. fine, handle it.” Rav had placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder indicating he should shut the fuck up. Dean knew he wasn’t being helpful, but god damn if this wasn’t the most idiotic existence left to the human race.

“Survivor, if I may-”

“My name is Samuel. Please use it if you must continue to speak to me.”

Rav blinked once, but held his cool much better than Dean had, as he was already imagining how wonderful it would be to crush 'Samuel' into a paste.

“My apologies, Samuel, but how have you survived these past days? Especially at night, the dangers are many, and I see no remains of a fire.”

Samuel sniffed, as if it was a substantial burden to continue the conversation. “I have had no trouble sleeping through the night. As for a fire, I have no need of one. The forage around her is sufficient, so I have not needed to cook, and the temperature is warm enough.”

Dean didn’t notice his mouth drop open as Rav put words to his incredulous thoughts. “Apologies, Samuel, you said you slept through the night? Are there others around who watched over you? How did you avoid the Shades?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. I am alone here, as I quite like it, and I’ve never seen these ‘Shade’ things you speak of. Are they at all like the dogs that roam this area? Nasty things.”

Dean didn’t know whether to be furious or amazed. They must be in the presence of the single dumbest, and luckiest, son of a bitch to ever be born.

“Your unconsciousness kept you safe... and the Shades could not find you.” Rav concluded, with a sigh that might just have been the last fuck escaping his body. He turned to Dean.

“I’m unsure we have anything to offer such a… magnificent existence. Perhaps our efforts would be better spent elsewhere?”

The suggestion was music to Dean’s ears, but there was something about what Samuel had said that bothered him.

“Why are you so worried about bandits?”

Samuel frowned at him, the way a teacher looks at a child that had failed at basic arithmetic. “A group of two, or four now that you’ve joined them... Shouldn’t you know this?”

Dean took a large breath, fully prepared to continue his tirade, but Samuel interrupted. “Yes, yes, of course you aren’t with them. It was a jest, they would have no use for bumbling fools such as yourselves.” This fucking guy really wants to die. “As I was saying, they are a pair, and I’ve seen them approach others, in much the same way you two approached me, and lead them off. I never see them again, but I have seen them wearing belongings of those they took. Vagabonds, the lot of them, but alas, I can do nothing about it. I’m excellent defensively, but even I cannot protect others from their own idiocy.”

Dean exchanged another look with Rav. Maybe that’s where Nate had gone? Nate was smart, but he might have gotten in over his head trying to help other people escape.

Dean really didn’t like asking assholes for help, but...“Samuel… if you would like, we could certainly use a defender in our group, and we could probably provide you with armor to better protect yourself.”

His aloof expression faded somewhat with the mention of armor. “Ah, truly? So you have a smith in your employ? I say, why didn't you start your pitch with that? We could have beaten right to the punch! Hmm… Yes, very well, but what would this cost me? As you said, I haven’t any coin.”

Dean’s exasperation was reaching unheard of levels. “If you join us to take down the bandits, and prove useful, we’ll take you as part of our group and equip you with whatever you need.”

Samuel smiled, like he had shrewdly negotiated a good deal for himself. “Done.”

Dean sighed. He was regretting this already.

---

They had looked for hours, and though they found traces of skirmishes around, they had concluded it must have been Carnines attacking, not other humans, due to the paw prints in the mud and the odd bit of reddish skin. Samuel had been anything but helpful when asked for clues as to the location of the bandits' base of operations, but he was fortunately very quiet the rest of the time. While they saw other people, they tended to be wary of their approach, and Rav decided for the party that they would not push the matter. Once the bandits were taken care of, they would hopefully be more receptive to strangers.

Then they started to find human bodies, which was odd because the Carnines usually dragged off anything they killed. As if that wasn't evidence enough, the single red line running along their throats, or gaping wounds in their hearts, firmly indicated how they had died, and what sort of 'monster' had killed them. But, none of their group had any knowledge of tracking, and the hills were excellent hiding places when one didn’t want to be found. It boiled Dean’s blood, but the celestial rings had appeared. They had to head back. Fortunately, their circuitous route had taken them most of the way back, so they would only have to run for about 20 minutes to get back.

It was only when they were mostly home that they found one last body, lying in a valley. A body that Dean and Rav immediately recognized.

“N-Nate?”