Uno

My Conservatory was complete without a hitch. I wasn’t calling this room a greenhouse since there was not much green inside. At least the plants were now finished, new monsters put safely in their positions… But that also meant, that there wasn’t anything to do!

Well, except for digging and making new rooms. And that grew boring extremely fast.

I craved the excitement of the fight, even if it could wipe me out of existence.

Normally I was just a coward, but the battles in my dungeon didn’t feel real. Not counting that one time when I nearly had my core grabbed and devoured. But we don’t talk about that. The vibe I was getting was more in the vein of a reality show with all my cameras focused on the action than real life.

Were these feelings categorized as dungeon core instincts or maybe something entirely else? It didn’t really matter. I could hide in my shell and produce more and more monsters while digging a room after room, but there was no purpose behind it. I wanted a sentient to walk into my halls and exclaim in wonder and fear.

And then preferably get mauled to death.

Okay, I admit. Part of the reason I was so impatient was the fact that this limit I felt was steadily approaching. My current dungeon core level was zero and I was somehow made acutely aware that I could dig out only a few more rooms or create one or two monsters until it all simply slipped out of my control.

And yet digging into existing space was considered okay. Some sort of a loophole? I couldn’t care less, but like any real gamer, I was eager to exploit it. This made the Colosseum a viable choice. Even if it was a trap.

So no more hesitation!

There’s no time like the present!

Let’s do it!

I clenched my non-existent teeth, trying to force the outcome and asked both Jonathan and Decapitator (Decapitation Engine as per System naming, which sounded just droll) to move towards where Drones started working and… waited.

It was like half of my new life was waiting.

Thankfully my minions finished their job in only a few minutes. Breaking through the soft soil was easy after all. Slowly a small tunnel appeared, only to end on metal bars recessed in the floor. Talk about disappointing.

The next order was to cut them down, but seeing as both cutting tools and the barrier were made from the same material it would take some time. So during this unexpected break, I ordered the rest of the Drones to start working towards another goal.

I had this strange idea of creating a few twisting tunnels leading towards Armory. I was aiming for a place bit similar to the one area in Dark Souls games, where strange circular undead roamed with impudence. My little corner of deadly roads would be instead a home ground to Decapitator. Which should be much less scary. Also, two bosses on one floor should be enough.

Now that I think about it… how would it even decapitate enemies? Weren’t pretty much all of its blades vertical? Talk about not being able to satisfy one craving. Did I just do it a great disservice?

Huh.

Let’s just behave like I didn’t notice at all.

Maybe the problem will go away on its own.

Whatever happens, happens.

Anyway, it took Drones a few hours to make sure that the tunnel network was complete according to my plan. In the meantime, Ratlings also managed to dig out some outposts and roads of their own. And in turn, my dungeon was getting even more chaotic. While I could feel where the entrances and exits were a 3D model of them was looking more and more like soggy spaghetti. On the bright side if even I wasn’t able to map them then any enemies trying to were unintentionally screwed over.

Which was still lovely.

I wasn’t even going to ask why Ratlings were moving small electropears in there or masking their scouting tunnels with knife-bushes. They’re the only plant life out here - you’re not hiding anything!

At least their obsession with acidic flowers was easy to understand. Especially after a few of them were nearly melted when searching through Conservatory for the first time. I didn’t check how these plants propagated too.

Another time.

For now, my Drones were nearly finished with their task.

It was time to advance.

Metal bar screamed for the last time until their tools cleared way forward. The room seemed serene and silent. First, a team of Lebirs walked forward, close to each other, somehow holding a defensive formation with their leader sporting a Crackling Mace. Just behind it a group of Ratling warriors waltzed in, not planned at all in my advance guard. They moved cautiously, sniffing the air and pointing their spears towards suspicious parts of the room.

And this Colosseum was suspicious as hell!

For one - there were still torches burning! Underground! In the room closed off for years! I wasn’t even going to start with how the oxygen in here would be all burned long ago. That’s because the answer was boring. Magic, obviously.

The question was who was prideful enough and powerful enough to keep them burning through the years?

The answer came quickly as a shadow pounced from the ceiling on the Lebir walking in the front. The abomination was totally surprised, but quiet, which reminded me once again to at least give them mouths. And maybe a pump to allow some screaming. Or creepy wheezing.

Anyway, my minion just tumbled on the sand, rising dust clouds and desperately trying to free itself.

To no avail though. The assailant stood up quickly and twisted off its head like it was a beer cap. At this moment I took a good look at it - clearly humanoid shape, rag-like clothing which once was probably finery of some sort, covering wrinkled, scarred skin, which made the being look like dried up mummy. I fired Analyze as soon as it stopped.

Bloodless Vampire Spawn

Vampires are beings of darkness, a type of undead who thrive on the blood of living creatures. It is because of that trait that they fiercely try to preserve sentient races that badlands creatures seek to consume. They are nonetheless hunted by sapiens and eradicated without a quarter.

Most of the monsters classified as vampires have a robust physique, great night vision, powerful regeneration and ability to create more of their kind by sharing their blood. One becomes a vampire through such ritual or by a way of a curse.

This being was turned from sentient, which makes it weaker than its progenitor in addition to lack of blood it experienced through the years. Because of the inability to die and lack of life-giving liquid through the years, it turned utterly insane. There is only Thirst in its mind.

Threat level: D

Like an overture to my reading, the vampire just found out that there was no blood in my Lebir. It threw the severed head at my other warriors and screamed at them in rage.

- $#&^&#$ &*#$&*&$ #$# @!&*&#@! - These were clearly words, but...

Haaaaaah.

Just like I thought. No language cheat for me. I was after all just a little dungeon core, not isekai hero sent to right the wrongs.

Ugh.

Who cares.

[Capture it alive if you can.] I whispered to my monsters and they surged forward like a wave of metal and dead flesh closing on their enemy.

Except for Ratlings.

They instead decided it was time to add some skewering to the menu.

Spears flew forward on silent command, impacting the vampire through the chest and left arm, but not slowing it down in the slightest. It crouched, making itself a smaller target and sprinted towards my meatshields. The claws on its hands looked a bit dangerous - I admit.

First Lebir trying to stop it was sent flying, second didn’t fare much better, but it gave one with Crackling Mace a way to bash the vampire face in. The one smacked by it only laughed in response.

And then the lightning hit, scorching the wrinkly face and actually lighting it on fire! The laugh turned into a scream as the being tried to claw out any pieces of flesh still stuck on its skull.

That was when Jonathan started running in the middle of this chaos, taking advantage of a distraction. Well, maybe not exactly running, but there was a tottering grace in his movements. Something about comically imbalanced being trying to walk on its toes.

The ax he sported was not funny at all though.

And neither was his big, “fuck you” swing that nearly cleaved creature in half, taking out both arms and digging a scar through the middle of its chest. The vampire crumbled down immediately, ceasing resistance. It still tried to move, but the damage was simply too great.

If it had hit points then there would be only measly one or two left.

[ALIVE! TAKE IT ALIVE] I screamed in anger, making most of my creatures twitch. Jonathan only stared at his feet, like a small child chided by its parent.

I sighed. At least there’s hope that this vampire regeneration wasn’t overrated. It did survive here for years and that was mostly because it couldn’t die even if it wanted.

[Just… take the pieces, put them together and make sure it won’t escape.]

My orders were carried out swiftly for once, with only Ratings instead searching the whole room. What they found were bones. Hundreds of bones. Humanoid - women, men and children. Horses, or something that looked similar enough. Sheep, dogs, cats, also one or two cows, then goats and weird snake-like things. There was even a skeleton of a gorilla. A monkey anyhow.

And all of them seemed to be drained of blood, with many - and I mean many - holes, similar to fangs slightly jutting out from vampire upper jaw. Their remaining skin was punctured and broken in many places, but there is something in horror seen just before death that stays on one body. Even if only a desiccated husk remains.

Somehow I could easily imagine the tragedy that happened here.

But it didn’t matter anyway.

What mattered though was the existence of a broken down stairway leading to an upper and lower level.

The rest of the room was just like it looked from outside - a whole lot of nothing, sand and four now extinguished torches. I planted my Chandeliers at once, brightening this space in white light, totally different from the red-blood color it was basked in before.

I already knew what I wanted to do. The order was given and drones slowly started to force their way upwards.

And I returned to my core where the new guest was getting moved.

It was time for some literal mind-fuckery.