Oslo, Norway, 7th july 2017: A giant lizard descend to the center of the city’s pedestrian zone. Someone yells about a dragon, devolving into a scream as they run away in panic.

And then, a voice is heard, very loud and surprisingly clear: “FUS RO DAH!”

Naturally, this draws the attention of more than just a few people, and they see a figure on top of the dragon. Dressed in a white skirt and wearing a vest made of scales like the dragon itself, over a tunic the color of spilled blood, the person hold a spear longer than themselves. Their eyes are an unnatural orange, and their ears pointy.

In delight at the primal fear of those below, the elf cackles maniacally. The dragon lands in a more open area, and the figure stands up. “Got your attention, huh.” They clear their throat. “Who’s the idiot who called Leda a dragon? I mean chill, she’s just a wyvern.”

They pause for a moment, looking around confused. “SERIOUSLY GUYS, CALM THE FUCK DOWN! One would think you’re about to die or something! Geezes, some people…”

The elf hops off the dra- wyvern. “Now that you’re no longer being idiots: I’m here to advertise my wares. Magical goods and services! Bags holding more than seems possible, magic wands, the like! And that’s not all: I can change your very body! Take on the traits of a panther, wolf, or maybe an eagle! I can teach you magic!”

As if to punctuate the statement, the figure shoots a glowing orb into the sky, where is explodes in dazzling light. By this point, nearby security and brave souls have made their way to the menace, one of which recognize the elf:

“Wait, aren’t you the guy from the hearing? I knew it, you ARE insane!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I blink a few times. Mmmm. I should probably not use Leda the first time I advertise my business.