《Dungeon I/O (⚒ Crafting ⚒)》Author’s Note: What Next?
Advertisement
Kind of funny that I’m echoing Franklin’s question from last chapter, but I suppose now is a good time to ask, “What next” for this story?
This I guess is stemming from waking up this morning to find that the story now has the lowest possible ratings for style, story and character, three out of the four advanced review categories, which essentially kills it, in my mind, for any RR stuff, just due to how ratings based everything on RR appears to be. That being said though, the scores in and of themselves isn’t as much what I want to discuss with you guys as the contents of the review that left the ratings.
I think the gist of it is that the story has too much infodumping and internal monologuing. Now, while this is a fair critique, I believe, I’ve also intentionally written the story as such because I was under the impression this is what the vast majority of readers preferred. Per discussion early on in the story, I had concluded that you guys wanted to read a “discovery” format, wherein Franklin goes about experimenting on various things, and the details regarding that experimentation. And the reason dialogue is being used, rather than just exposition, is because that seemed to be the preferred method to convey this discovery to readers. So, rather than:
Franklin did this, leading to this and this.
Which is how it was originally written, a lot of content was re-written as:
“Oh, so if I do this, then this and this happens.”
As for the infodumping, again, I was under the impression (from comments and reviews) that people liked all the numbers, realism, science and such, and that was what made this story unique and was the factor that led people to follow this story in the first place. In fact, it’s kind of paradoxical, I guess, for me that the reviewer mentions spending too much time at the start detailing the system, because from the poll after the Bristle arc, it seemed a good deal of you guys actually thought we jumped into exploration of the outside world too early, and more time should have been spent on the dungeon and systems, hence why I jumped back into all the tech, smelting and such.
Advertisement
Now, it’s also definitely possible that in my enthusiasm for all things science, I ended up landing too far on the other end spectrum, maybe? I know the last two chapters have been very number-heavy and detailed. In terms of writing, those two chapters I think actually took the longest out of any chapter so far, just due to how much research had to go into them, and I mean, it’s definitely “easier” to write chapters like the Bristle arc, where I can just imagination my way through. So, I guess what I’m saying is, if people dislike the format and detail of the last two chapters, I won’t be jumping at the chance to write them in that style either. The chapters could have been condensed into just, “Franklin creates a bloomery and uses bellows to smelt iron. Iron age achieved.” Done.
In any case, before this becomes too rambly, just wanted to touch base with you guys and see where the story should go from here. Please don't hate on the reviewer; I do think he/she has brought up a valid critique. At the same time, however, I don’t want a single review to color my entire perception of the story, hence why I've made this A/N, to get everyone's sentiment and feedback. As you guys are all aware, I’m fully open to feedback, so hit me with the cold, hard truth (my feelings will be fine).
Is this story (getting) boring? Dragging on?
Should I cut down on the numbers and technicals? Simplify the crafting?
Have more character driven chapters, and less system driven?
Keep everything as is?
Please, do let me know, so I can steer the story in a direction people enjoy reading. If you can leave a comment, or go upvote reviews that you agree with, that will give me a good indication of where to go next. Thank you guys for all the help and support!
Cheers,
Zack
Advertisement
- In Serial86 Chapters
Knight and Smith
Secrets once thought lost are coming to light... Orin, a young thief turned mercenary, is returning to his home for the first time in four years. Orin wants nothing more than to reconnect with his family and settle down in the city he loves, but fate is fickle and has another destiny in mind for the swordsman. Now bound to the Princess of the Realm in ways he doesn't fully understand, Orin finds himself thrust into the world of Nobility, where no one can be truly trusted and his friends are few and far between. To ensure his survival, and that of the entire Kingdom, Orin must learn to harness the power of a Knight and work with the Princess Elora to protect those they both love, all while dealing with psychotic Knights, a mad King and Elora's own protectors. Well, if nothing else, I'm sure it will be an adventure. This is one of the ideas I've been working on for a while and wanted to see how far I can go with it. There's nothing really original here, just something fun I wanted to explore a bit more. Chapters will be posted once a week on Sundays at five pm GMT. Thank you for reading and I hope that you enjoy Knight and Smith!
8 168 - In Serial81 Chapters
The Dragon Mage Saga: A portal fantasy LitRPG
A magic apocalypse. Refugees from Earth. A new world. Elves, orcs, and dragons!Portals from Overworld have appeared on Earth, and beings intent on conscripting humanity into the mysterious Trials have invaded.Earth is doomed. Humanity has been exiled. Can Jamie save mankind?Jamie Sinclair, a young man with unique gifts, must find a way for his family and friends to survive Earth’s destruction and build a new home in Overworld.The Trials is not a game. Will Jamie survive its challenges?Join Jamie as he struggles through the brutal Trials while wrestling with his new magics and Overworld’s game-like dynamics.A fantasy post-apocalyptic survival story of one man’s journey to save humanity. Book 1 has been released here in its entirety, but is also on amazon. You can grab it here! Book 2 is a WIP and expected to release in December 2021. You can read early chapters of Book 2 here on royalroad or on my patreon. Hi, I am Rohan Vider and the author of the Dragon Mage Saga, previously published on Amazon. If you want to support my writing, you can find the full book here! The story has over 600 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ reviews on Amazon and a strong following already, but to increase readership I have released book 1 in its entirety here as well. I hope you enjoy the story, and keep an eye out for book 2, releasing soon! Release Schedule Book 1: All chapters released on Royal Road. Release Schedule Book 2: Early chapters will start posting on 25 October at a rate of 4 per week (1 per day Mon-Thurs).
8 288 - In Serial877 Chapters
My Doomsday Territory
On doomsday, Tang Yu unexpectedly got the Lord of the End System, he remained very calm. Lack of experts? I will construct a pub so I can make ten draws in a row; Lack of food? I can’t be too cheap with the large pack full of food supplies sent from the market; Lack of safety? Arrow Tower, Mage Tower Artillery and all kinds of automatic defence buildings. Having many isn’t too many; Lack of equipment? Workshop production must produce high-quality items. Sir, would you like one? We are having a 20% discount special at nine! ………… In short, this is a story of Great Lord Tang building up his territory, attacking some monsters, and ripping off…… Cough, making some money at the same time.
8 1538 - In Serial13 Chapters
Life Of Yesura
[Companion book for The Earth Daughter. Expect many references] Emily has always felt herself in the shadow of her friend Jane. Something about her was just, personally enthralling. Regardless of her own persona, she always felt like she needed to be protected by Jane. It was slightly annoying. But, suddenly one day her cat turned into a woman, and in a string of events that were not in any way regretable and somewhat satisfying, she was taken away from the life she knew, and introduced to the universe at large. Here, she got to learn about herself - Yesura -, and just why she was so in need of Jane...
8 158 - In Serial12 Chapters
Imperium
A young fledgling city-state of Etris seeks to make a distinguished name for itself in the chaotic era of human emergence with the Titanomachia only a few decades behind them the ordinary citizens of Etris await the coming of their divine Consul. The one who will lead them to become the prophesied Etrian Empire is yet to be born. In the faraway tribal regions of Gallia a young boy is born to the tribe chief of the Veraxes. The boy is pale and smaller than most young ones in the tribe yet his destiny is to outshine all who came before and shall come after him. In another city-state of Junia the city lord has recently been bestowed a son and a daughter by the Gods and he has begun preparations of an invasion of the tribes that surround his territory. A prelude to an epic begins in 100 C.D. Hey everyone second time writing a story on Royal Road the first time was an experiment that made me learn much but hopefully this time it will be better. As always 3 chaps a week for this one could be in the middle of the week or at the end but 3 will fall definitely. Discord Link: Imperium Discord Have fun reading.
8 95 - In Serial17 Chapters
I'm Stuck! [The Umbrella Academy : Five Hargreeves X Reader]
You grimaced as you held your back, feeling it ache from falling on your ass, as you took a look around your surroundings in confusion.One moment you're outside, the next, you're surrounded by nine figures. But what surprised you more was who the figures were.You don't know how this even happened.**Join the Umbrella Academy as you all try and do your best to stop the apocalypse from ever taking place. Lots of chaos, therapy, and maybe a dash of romance ensues.
8 86

