《Lily Bouquet - A Girls Love Anthology》Smile For Me - Part 1
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Waking up from her sleep, Ester opened her eyes. An unfamiliar vision greeted her view. Trees passing by her side at high speed through the wet glass window in front of her eyes while the rain poured outside. She needed a moment to reorganize her thoughts. She was in movement and inside the bus. That sleep had been one of the most peaceful she had in years. She removed a strand of her light brown and curly hair off her eyes. Her long hair was still loose like when she left home. She was wearing an old white t-shirt and jeans, not the kind of clothes she usually wore for long travels.
She was sitting at the left side of the bus, close to the window and leaning toward the glass close enough the see light brown of her eyes reflected in it. Outside was dark and the sound of lighting could be heard mixed with the bus engine.
“Was it a good sleep?” She heard a gentle voice coming from her side.
She stared curiously at the tall woman sitting beside her. She had straight and long black hair. Her eyes were of sparkling black color. Her skin was too pale, creating a contrast with her black hair. She had a purple knapsack on her lap that she was holding with her right hand. She was wearing a fancy wine shirt and a long black skirt.
“Y-Yeah,” Ester said, still feeling a little sleepy and with her thoughts still slow. She wasn’t used to speaking with strangers during a bus trip.
“Not that I mind, but you can release my hand now,” The woman said again, showing a smiling expression.
Ester’s eyes followed her right arm. It made her conscious of the soft and warm sensation in her right hand for the first time. Her darker skin, an inheritance of her Latin origin, grabbing the pale hand of the woman sitting on the seat beside her.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, pulling out her hand fast. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t worry,” the woman said with a chuckle. “I don’t mind. You grabbed it in your sleep. Were you dreaming about someone you care about?”
“I, huh,” she tried to smile, but her expression became gloomy. “Maybe I needed some reassurance,” just then she realized her hands were shaking. “D-Don’t mind me. I’m fine.”
The other woman didn’t take her eyes off Ester. She had a curious expression on her face. She opened a small gap on her mouth and seemed to hesitate. Then she crossed her fingers through her own black hair as if brushing it.
“I’m sorry, but I have to ask. You’re Ester, right? Ester Rosario?”
The expression on Ester’s face was of surprise. She looked right at the woman’s face, trying to discern if she knew her from somewhere.
“Yeah,” she said slowly. “Actually, my name now is…” she stopped. A lot of bad memories rose to her mind. “Actually, forget it. Yeah, I’m Ester Rosario. Do I know you?”
“I’m sure you won’t remember me,” the woman had a timid smile as she spoke. “Name is Hayley. Hayley Fowler. We were friends at high school.”
“Hayley?” Ester stared at the woman’s face and her face brightened in a smile. “Oh, Lili, right? Of course, I remember you. But,” Ester examined Hayley’s face closer, making the other woman’s face just a little less pale. “You’re really different, I mean in a good way. You’re really pretty.”
“Oh, thanks? I guess?”
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“Oh, no, don’t get me wrong,” Ester shook her hands, trying to shake off her words. “I’m not saying you were ugly or anything, I was just…”
“Don’t worry, love,” Hayley said with a gentle smile and put her hand over Ester’s. “I’m joking. I know I was never going to win any beauty contest at that time. Those stupidly ugly glasses, those messy braids I used to make so I wouldn’t need to brush my hair and my stupid gloomy face.”
“Hayley, the ghost,” Ester said with a timid smile.
“That’s what they used to call me, right? I have to say, I probably deserved it.”
“No, you didn’t. That was rude…”
“But you never did it, right? You were always nice to me, even though I couldn’t understand it. Exotic beauty Ester Rosario. The mysterious girl who always ignored everyone except for the weird ghost Hayley.”
Hayley turned her face to smile at Ester. Flocks of her hair falling over her face, putting a shadow on her delightful smile. Ester couldn’t resist getting fascinated by that view.
“So, what brought this change?”
“Life?” Hayley said, crossing her fingers through her hair again. “I didn’t do much. Learned to take care of my hair, put on contacts. My skin is still as pale as a ghost, though, but I learned to smile more.”
“You look great. Enough to steal lots of hearts. I hope you’re still as smart, though,” Ester said while remembering how many times she had been saved by Hayley’s vast knowledge. Especially in the time of school tests.
“Yeah, kinda,” Hayley let out a timid smile. Her eyes fell to the knapsack on her lap.
“So, what have you been doing? A good job, I’m sure. Opposite to us all, of lower intellect.”
“Well, I’ve been getting some jobs. You know, computers and stuff.”
“What? Are you working for Google already?”
Hayley let out a laugh and squeezed Ester’s wrist. She remembered that was a gesture her friend used to do a lot on their school days. It filled her with a nostalgic feeling.
“It’s good to see you again,” Ester said with a voice filled with emotion. “We should’ve kept contact.”
With those words, Ester tried to remember when she lost contact with Haylie. She remembered they were very close until the very last year of school, but she didn’t have her number after graduation. That she didn’t get anyone else’s number made sense, but her relationship with Hayley was pretty close at that time so it didn’t make sense.
Then she remembered. Hayley herself had asked Ester to erase her phone number. She had said she would change her number anyway and wouldn’t give her a new one. They fought on that night, it was graduation night. That was the last time they saw each other, fifteen years ago.
Ester threw a puzzled look at the woman as the memory came. She never learned why her friend did that and now she was speaking to her as if that fight never happened.
“I heard,” Hayley said. She had a serious face and her voice was hesitating. “You got married, right?”
It was like a heavy rock falling on Ester’s head. Suddenly, all the bad memories she was trying to suppress came back. The feeling of joy of meeting an old friend replaced by the fear she felt since the start of that day. Fear that had been growing through all those years. By instinct, she put her hand over her left sleeve. Then she took it to her chest.
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“Sorry,” Hayley said, watching the stress transform her friend’s face. “Shouldn’t I have asked about it?”
“No, no. Don’t worry,” Ester said with a weak voice. She took her smartphone out of her pocket, the only belonging she brought with her. It was turned off. She pushed a button and the screen lit. “Yeah, I did. You know him. Colby Gray.”
“Of course. You two got really close on that last year of high school. But that’s, huh. Marrying your first boyfriend is just…” Hayley let out an impish laugh, but Ester’s face remained with a melancholy expression.
“You’re right. I rushed it…”
She looked at the smartphone’s alerts. Dozen of missed calls. She sighed when she realized the last one was from two hours ago.
“Any children?” Hayley asked, this time trying to sound serious.
“Oh no,” Ester let out a bitter smile. “Fortunately not.”
Hayley raised her hand and caressed Ester’s hair. She had a compassionate smile as she stared at her old friend.
“Wanna talk?” She asked, making Ester’s lips shake.
For a moment, it looked like she wouldn’t be able to hold her cry. But closing her eyes, Ester took a deep breath and tried to calm know, before speaking back to her friend in a low and slow tone.
“Colby, he,” she stopped. Her eyes fell to her smartphone again while Hayley just waited patiently. “He wasn’t the man I thought he was. I endured it for ten years, but that’s enough. It’s over. I’m over him.”
“That’s okay, love,” Hayley said and squeezed Ester’s wrist.
“No, that’s not okay. That’s not okay because, to tell the truth, I ran away from home. I ran away from him. And I just took my phone and the money for the bus. I don’t know where the fuck I’m going,” the tears started to fell from her eyes. “My mom died three years ago. She was the last person I had, I don’t even know where I’m going. And I’m sure that idiot won’t leave me alone. I…”
With a sudden movement, Hayley hugged Ester close, pulling her body against her. Ester’s face leaned against Hayley’s shoulder, making her tears fell on her clothes. “I’m sorry. I’m just, I’m sorry,” she stammered.
“Don’t be, love,” Hayley said, caressing her friend’s hair. “Don’t worry. Just calm down, ok? You can cry as much as you need.”
The two women stayed like that for several minutes. There weren't many people inside the vehicle, so all they heard was the rain pouring outside and the bus’s motor sounding. Ester was trying to be discreet, so people wouldn’t start looking at them.
After calming down, Ester sat straight on her seat again, giving a timid look at her old friend.
“Sorry for your shirt,” she said with a shy smile.
“Don’t worry. Give me your best smile and it’s all fine,” Hayley said with a gentle tone.
“You know, it’s weird. Being close to you again is very calming. Or should I say, comforting? I guess it’s because things were just so more simple on those years.”
“Do I smell like your better days?”
Ester chuckled and a blush rose up to her face.
“Something like that, yeah. You do smell very nice, though, don’t worry.”
“I try my best.”
It was as if the heavy burden Ester was feeling slowly started to dissolve. Just hearing her old friend’s voice and laughing about her joke was enough to make her feel more cheerful and find strength. Feeling her warmth before was enough to make her stop crying.
Ester realized how much she missed Hayley through all those years, something she never had wondered until now. How much Hayley’s presence was important in her life during those days.
“But tell me more about you,” Ester said, drying the tears off her eyes. They were still red. “You said you were working. Where are you living?”
“That might be surprising to you, but we have been sharing the same city all this time.”
“What? No way!”
“I swear. It’s a wonder we didn’t crash into each other by chance until now.”
“Well, I’m not really,” Ester stopped. She felt as if the bad feeling was coming back, but suppressed it the most she could. “I haven’t been outside home lately.”
“I was never the outgoing type myself, of course.”
“Yeah, I remember that. I think the only place you ever visited was my house,” Ester’s eyes fell on Hayley’s backpack that she was still holding firm. “So, are you on a business trip or something?”
“No, not really. Actually, I’m leaving home, too. Not running away, of course, since I live alone.”
“Eh?!” Ester got a surprised reaction and her eyes fell to Hayley’s purse again. “Is your baggage in the bus or something? Did you send it to your new home?”
Shaking her head, Hayley seemed to drift inside her mind. When she faced her friend, she had a determined expression.
“I sold everything, actually.”
“What? Are you telling you’re going on a trip with only that?” Ester said looking at the backpack again.
“That’s right. I know it might look crazy for a woman who chose the pacific married life. Or supposedly pacific,” she corrected herself when she realized the shadow that crossed her friend’s face. “I was worn-out. With that job and everything. Like, that whole city. I needed to change airs, so I saved some money and decided to look for another place to live. You know, start a new life.”
“Wow, that’s wild. And completely unexpected from what I remember of you.”
“What can I say. I’m a fickle woman.”
“Have any idea where you’re going, then?”
“Can’t say I do. Probably somewhere distant, calm. A small city or village. I’m tired of the chaotic city life. Job won’t be a problem for me.”
“I wish I had that confidence,” Ester said and a bitter smile rose to her lips.
The two women sat in silence. Ester turned her head to watch the rain hitting against the glass of the windows, suddenly conscious again about her own unstable and erratic situation. She sighed and almost let her mind drift when she felt a touch on her shoulder.
She turned to see her friend’s face looking at her with a reassuring smile.
“You know, love,” she said, touching Ester’s wrist. “You might find this weird and abrupt, but… Don’t you want to come with me?”
“C-Come with you?” taken by surprise, Ester tripped on her words. “W-What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said. Come with me, whenever I end up going. Or anywhere you want to go, whatever comes first. I can promise you a roof, food, clean clothes, for now.”
“I-I can’t. I can’t be a burden on you.”
“You won’t be,” Hayley squeezed Ester’s hand. She looked directly into her friend’s eyes. “To tell the truth, I have been a little lonely lately. As you can expect, I’m still as bad at making friends, so, you know. Having a company would make me happy.”
“But…” Ester was about to look away but Hayley gently pulled her friend’s face towards her.
“Tell me the truth, love. Are you thinking about going back to your own home?”
“I,” Ester felt a bad feeling growing up in her stomach. That was something she didn’t want to think until then. “M-Maybe… I should have planned it better. I don’t have anywhere to go. I shouldn’t have run away with nothing like this.”
“I’m giving you a plan now,” Hayley said. She had a serious face. “You just lack the courage. If you want to change, love, just say yes.”
Ester avoided her face. First, she stared outside, then to her phone. She was afraid to go back home, but she would be lying if keeping running away wasn’t scary either. Her whole life, she relied on her husband’s support. She knew nothing about living for herself.
However, Hayley’s strong grip on her hand was reassuring. She could feel her friend was serious and meant it. But she was never one to take that kind of decision without thinking. That was the first time.
She felt like crying again when she thought about going back home. That was telling enough. She only had one choice.
Without facing her friend, she nodded. Hayley smiled.
“Ok, let’s go, then,” Hayley said, getting up from her seat and pulling Ester’s hand.
“N-Now? Here?” she said, surprised.
“Yeah. Look at your phone. Look at the GPS. Is there someplace we can at least spend a night?”
Hayley let out of Ester’s hand. She was holding the luggage rack so she wouldn’t fall on the moving bus.
Ester opened the maps app and stared at their position. Her eyes followed the roadway.
“There’s a hotel close to the next stop.”
“So that’s it. Let’s get out.”
“We don’t have umbrellas. We’ll get wet.”
Hayley let out a snicker. She raised her eyebrows and let out a sarcastic tone.
“So what? Are you going to melt?”
Laughing timidly, Ester tucked her phone in her pocket and took Hayley’s hand. The other woman signaled to the bus they would stop at the next stop. When they got off the bus, they were first sheltered by the bus stop’s roof. But, as soon as the bus left, Hayley put her backpack on her back and gave out a bratty smile.
“Ok, love,” she said, taking Ester’s hand. “Let’s run.”
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