《Nero Zero》Chapter CXXIV - "The Worst way to Quit your Job"
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"Rin! Rin! Rin! Rin!" The pixie buzzed through the shelter, barged into the house-tree, and crashed into the magician. "Rin! What a tragedy!"
Rhynne hugged the fairy back and then peeled her off. "Hello, Mary. I guess everything went alright with Nero's report."
"Not at all. We're all screwed. But to hell with the leonals. That's a job for the guild master. Let her deal with it."
"I thought you..."
She avoided her gaze from the larger woman. "You got the wrong person. It's not me. I'm Mary, your son's godmother, here for a social visit. You might be confusing me with another pixie..."
Rhynne stare pierced at the pixie's feigned innocence. "Oh, can you give her a message then? Tell the guild master that the next time she gets my son wrangled in some prophetic shit-job with Royalty, I'm plucking her wings off!"
She then picked the diaphanous wings of the pixie and tugged. Amaryllis shouted "Oh, no! No! It hurts!" Moaned and giggled. When Rhynne released her, she looked hurt. "Rin you meanie!" She pouted.
Nero watched his mother play with her friend, one of the most powerful creatures on the continent without a care in the world. They were being childish, something he'd never associate with the [Magus].
Of course the ruckus drew everyone in.
"Hello, guild master," Crystal bowed.
"Oh, we have new friends!" The pixie flew around, bopping Rodther's muzzle and playfully tugging Hefalina's auditory fins.
"These are Rodther, a former prisoner I wrangled with my service with that too-broad royal pardon, and Moira and Hefalina, two soldiers from Coriander I captured. They work for us now."
Rodther gave Nero that "I can't believe, bro" look. "Guild Master?" He asked Amaryllis.
"Hey, Rod! Nice to meet you. I'm Amaryllis, Nero's godmother! I can call you Rod, can't I? Moira, Lina!"
"Welcome, guild master. Can we get you something?" Moira offered.
Amaryllis stared at Moira. "I guess Coriander was partially successful in their campaign, after all. One of their objectives was to find the missing princess, and you only had to be captured!" She giggled.
"We defected, actually," Hefalina said. "We are part of the Zero Nation now."
Moira glared at her niece. "Not now," She hissed.
"Zero Nation?" Nero asked with a skeptical look directed at his sister. "I don't like the sound of it."
"We traced the size of this shelter. It is four miles across from wall to wall!" Crystal said. "And at least five thousand feet high. If you can stratify that height into layers five hundred feet tall, you can get about ten floors. That's the size of a small country."
"That sounds fun! I'm out to measure the height!" Amaryllis flew off.
"A country that becomes dust if I die. Or fail to pay the upkeep," Nero reasoned. "And I can probably squeeze more land. I didn't push this land's size to the limit."
"Could you give it some thought? We would be safe here from invasion," Crystal asked.
"People can force the portals open. Amaryllis did," Nero pointed out. "We are not safe here. Worse yet, if I am going to keep a network of portals linking several places, each one of them is a separate liability. it would soon become a nightmare."
"Yes, we're not safe here. Not to mention we're trapped should something happen to Nero," Rhynne said.
They talked for a while more, and Amaryllis returned. Nero was finishing his speech.
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"I understand you want a place to feel safe," Nero said while he caressed Crystal's hair. We are going to find a place to settle, a place in the real world. This is just an imaginary location I made."
"One of many, I see," Amaryllis pointed at Kefira. "Nice lion monster, [Dungeon Keeper]. Level forty-eight. And it's a girl!"
"You're back," Nero said, startled. Amaryllis could see people's Status and it was unnerving.
"Yes. And this place is sixty-one hundred feet tall," She said as if she was a teacher correcting a student.
She went on to tease everyone in the house, a notable exception Byron. The pixie steered clear away from the [Armsmaster]. Every time she visited, it was utter chaos. Now with more people around, things were getting hectic. But they were still in the middle of a crisis. After Amaryllis got her fill with teasing everyone and prodding people's limits, they started to talk about serious issues.
After everyone shared their information and bounced ideas back and forth, they reached a decision on how to move forward.
"You'll need to lay low for a few days while the palace digests the report and makes a big ceremony to honor the fallen heroes of the war. It will keep them distracted but don't fool yourselves. There will be a summons sent out for Nero, but I already assigned him on a mission on another continent. So he's on a ship for all we know," Amaryllis explained. "I'll keep Zuni and your professors informed of what is going on, but not the minor details. It is safer for them this way."
"What about the party of knights from Coriander?" Crystal asked. The truth was that she was worried about them. She grew up with them and while she was not showing, she was grieving Calder's death.
"I'll contact them. Now that I know their names, I can use my Skills to find them. I'll ask Nero to keep one of those temporary boxes-gates-thingies ready to ferry them back to the pass if they agree to leave. But they might want to talk to you before they do. Can you convince them to leave peacefully and leave you alone?"
"I can try. I don't know what kind of lies they were told," Crystal said.
"This might help," Nero removed the bundled sheaf of documents that were in Calder's dimensional pocket. "Calder had these. We didn't read."
Crystal took the documents with care and reverence. "I'll look into them."
"Good. I'll stall the knights in the meanwhile," Amaryllis declared. "Visit the guild branch in five days, Nero. I'll have everything settled by then."
Nero nodded. He wanted to punish the knights for the slaughter of the villagers, but things were too complicated. They were important to Crystal, and the villagers that decided to squat in the abandoned village were forewarned the enemy was coming.
"We should visit our lonely guest now," Nero said.
"Okay!" Amaryllis sat on his shoulder and the two vanished into a portal leading to one of the transition boxes. After that was closed, Nero moved into the nereid shelter where the dwarf quartermaster was.
After searching through the island orchard, they found him lying in the shade of a tree next to a beach. He was taking a nap, completely naked if not for his bandolier.
"EWWWW!" Amaryllis shouted. "GET DRESSED YOU OBNOXIOUS DWARF!"
"Ugh," The quartermaster stirred awake and stumbled as he tried to sit up and fell back. He rolled on a side and puked his brains out. "Who goes there?" He slurred.
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"Quartermaster! We came to take you home!" Nero shouted. He didn't want to approach. The stench coming from the dwarf was from another world.
"Who? Why are you shouting! Go away. This is my island!" The dwarf waved them away. Only that he wasn't looking at Nero.
Amaryllis flew off Nero's shoulder and into the orchard. A minute later, she returned. "Nero, come see this." She beckoned.
Nero followed her and found the remnants of a very sorry feast. Food leftovers, empty kegs of booze, what one day were the quartermaster's clothes, and whatever people make when they drink a lot of booze and eat a lot of food. All plastered around the site. From the smell, the dwarf ate something too greasy and the grease avenged itself in a very explosive way.
"Oh, no," Nero gasped.
"Oh, no," Amaryllis parroted. "Let's get out of here."
They returned to the beach. The dwarf was rolling on the sand.
"Guild master, if you have a Skill card to sober up a person, I'll buy it," Nero begged.
"Alcohol is poison. Anything that cures poison should work," Amaryllis pointed out.
"Antidote potion?" He asked.
She nodded and pondered. "How are you making him drink it?"
"Altia has [Potion Toss]."
"Are you bringing your wife here to see THAT?" Amaryllis exclaimed, inflamed and outraged.
"No way," Nero groused.
"Thought so," Amaryllis nodded. "I'm glad dwarves don't like to swim or enter bodies of water. It is a miracle he didn't drown."
"I have a lot of bandoliers I looted from the battlefield. I might find some cure poison Skill card," Nero said.
"Yes, that might work. Get them out, I'll help you search," She offered. "If I find some dimensional pouch, I'll leave that aside for you to open."
Nero went to work and pulled rocks from his pouch to shape into a table and a wooden chair. He pulled the bandoliers and piled them on one side. He had more than a hundred of them.
"You made a huge profit from this war, didn't you?" She teased, unaffected by the amount of blood on the bandoliers and belts.
"I earned about a hundred Attribute points just from the knights slaughtering each other and whoever came too close," Nero remarked bitterly.
They pulled cards and crystals from the pouches for more than an hour. The sand elemental quartermaster fell asleep again. Nero went through the not-so-few dimension pouches. It seemed most knights had one. Most of them had luxury items, the most prevalent were books, silk bed sheets, fluffy pillows, perfume, and armor polish. A lot of cots with feather mattresses, too. A few had chaise lounges, tables, chairs, mirrors. Nero also gathered a lot of odd gadgets he had no idea what they did. Some of them had labels and the manufacturer's name on a plate, but regardless he stored all of them. He also found several sets of playing cards with lewd pictures.
"Wow. You know, you should catalog all of these items. That's a history lesson in the making, what is in a knight's pouches. And some of them have weird tastes. Check these playing cards."
Nero looked and blushed. "They are doing WHAT with their tails?"
Amaryllis folded the deck of playing cards back and slid it back into the cardboard box. She whistled, pretending nothing happened.
"I'm keeping some of these playing cards to gift a few 'friends'," she smirked mischievously took a dozen decks of lewd playing cards, and cackled.
"Go ahead," Nero obliged and snubbed the playing cards with a bit of disgust and pride. "I don't need them."
She giggled and winked. "I'm sure you don't," Amaryllis kept giggling, flying around him and poking Nero with finger guns.
Nero fought to keep the groan inside his throat and his hand off his face. He just stared at the distance but his cheeks were burning. Altia was... she felt very lonely during her time without him and was working hard to catch up.
"Detoxify the dwarf?" He asked.
"Oh, right. There are very little first-tier cards, and even less that you can use. Honestly, most of it is trash," She snapped into a business-like tone as easy as she devolved into a teasing pranking beast.
Nero used some of his own cards and created a [Healer] build out of green and blue cards.
[Healer] - yellow - Bound to Nero
Endurance [+4]
Reason [+5]
Willpower [+8]
Perception [+5]
Charisma [+15]
Special: Your healing spells have a 50% increased effect.
Special: Your healing spells cost 25% fewer resources.
Special: Increase the effect of all your healing spells by half your Charisma.
[Extend Spell] - Spend 1 point of mana. Increase the range of a spell by Reason yards. Touch spells are instead increased by Reason feet.
[Cure] - Spend 10 (8) points of mana. Reduce the severity of poison and disease debuffs on the touched target by your Willpower * 1.5. This spell can only be used once every hour for each target.
[Bloody Infusion] - Spend 5 (4) points of Stamina and Mana. Infuse a target fluid with blood-restoring properties. Administer as a combat consumable. The infusion loses potency after 1 hour.
[Mend Bone] - Spend 3.75 * X points of mana. Restore damage to a bone or lower the severity by (X * 1.5). 1-Cracked. 2-Minor Fracture. 3-Major Fracture. 4- Exposed Fracture. 5- Severed. This spell can only be used once per wound.
[Lay on Hands] - Channeled. Concentrate for 10 (5) seconds and spend 1.5 mana per second after the initial period. Restore flesh wounds based on [ 3 * (Willpower + Charisma) / 4 ].
[Healing Aura] - Spend 4 mana per minute. Every 10 seconds Heal all friendly targets in a range of Charisma * 1.5 inches of minor wounds based on ( 3 * Willpower / 8).
The [Cure] spell was the one Rodther found in the Dire Wolf's Forest of Rot and the one Nero needed. He poured the mana and targeted the dwarf. One advantage of that spell over others was that it worked even if the toxin's severity was higher. In the dwarf's case, one instance of the spell was enough to bring him back to consciousness but not completely cure his inebriation.
"What is happening?" The dwarf groaned. "Who's there?"
"It's me, old man. What are you doing there naked in front of a lady?"
"Eeek," Amaryllis did the cover-eyes-but-look-through-the-slit skit.
"Ehhh. Nero?"
"Yes, you drunk dwarf. We're at the capital. Let's go, your vacation is over, time to return to the palace."
He grunted. "I quit my job!" The dwarf threw his hands up showering sand around him and celebrated. "I'm not leaving it here. This is paradise."
"C'mon, quartermaster! You need to go!" Nero insisted.
The dwarf crossed his arms. "I quit my job. Seriously. I even dumped all the cards!" He produced his box and showed Nero. "See? Empty!"
Nero heard Amaryllis slapping her face. "YOU IDIOT!" She flew in front of Nero's face, pointing at the dwarf. "Quick, Nero. Dump this guy anywhere far away from us. He's a liability now."
"Explain!" Nero asked, flustered.
"His [Cojoined Card Box] is empty! It means he stole most of the stock of cards from the Kingdom! And they are probably tracking him by the boxes link!"
"Eh," The dwarf shrugged and slurred. "Let them. This is another dimension, another world. I'm safe here. And they will never find the cards! I buried them on the island!"
Amaryllis glowered at the dwarf. "[Greater Slumber]!" She cast a spell. He was sent into the dreamland. "Nero, where is the furthest you can send him?"
"Back to the castle you sold Tyre."
"Do it now!" Amaryllis shouted.
"He'll die!" Nero protested.
"That's the idea. The guy stole most of the card stock of the Kingdom. He'll die but won't implicate you!"
"Can't we just put the cards back in the box?"
"No. It wouldn't work. They already blocked his box from accessing the shared space, that's why it's empty. I told you he stole most of it. There's a safety measure to stop people from just robbing it all. And the monster-infested castle is perfect. They'll find the body eaten by the monsters."
Nero nodded. It pained him because the quartermaster was a nice guy, but whatever he went through alone on the island affected his mind. He felt a little guilty for not checking on the dwarf before, but if he came without Amaryllis he wouldn't know how to handle the situation and expose him to the Kingdom. As if he could afford more problems with Bast. In the end, he thought, the dwarf violated his trust and endangered his family. He was going to get the rule three treatment.
He picked up the dwarf, tossed him in the ocean to wash him, then wrapped him with the box in blankets he took from the dimensional pouches. Then he carried the dwarf-bundle into Rodther's shelter and dumped him in through the castle's tower portal, closing it immediately after.
"You'll want to move that portal too. We can't tell if they won't find it. I can sense it easier than the thread of an opening I used before."
Nero nodded, called his combat pets, and waited several minutes. He opened the portal again and the wolves were feasting on the former quartermaster's body. He sent Maria, Kefira, and Bruce to kill the wolves and retrieve the dwarf's bandolier and Arbitrium, making sure to leave the box behind. Once the pets returned, he stepped out into the tower with his [Rogue] build and moved out of the castle and into the valley, in the direction of coriander's army. He looked over his shoulder and sensed something small and invisible flying over him.
"I can't believe you followed me!" Nero cried.
"Shut up or you'll have a monster horde on you," Amaryllis scolded him.
Their brief talk did attract the attention of some wolf packs, but Nero could outrun them. After a while, they lost his trail. They passed over the ruins of Coriander's siege camp and there was nothing to do. Nero could stop to salvage some Arbitrium but the wolves and bears were doing the same with the meat. There was even a fight when a body was unearthed.
He went a few miles beyond the camp through the lightly forested valley crowded with monsters. Here and there he found some remains of people or animals the stampede ate. Once he put the campsite well behind him, he went to the foothills of the mountains and searched for a cave to put a portal in. he found one in use by a pack of plague wolves from the Dungeon, killed them, and went back home.
Once he was back in the shelter, he dismissed the portal to the tower.
"Well, I owe you another one, Nero," Amaryllis said with a broad grin, canceling her invisibility. "I needed to hire someone to survey that valley, now I don't."
Nero groaned and stared at the pixie. "Godmother. I feel bad for the quartermaster. Can we dial down the jokes?"
"Right!" She mimicked locking her mouth and tossing the key away. "kwen ai zway un zing?" She spoke with her lips shut.
Nero took a few seconds to decode what she said. "Go ahead."
"We dealt with the former quartermaster. I'll monitor the situation but the Kingdom might find him sooner and send a team to retrieve him and the box. They might even clean the monsters in the castle for free. Are the cards in his bandolier?"
"I need to check," Nero called his pets and took the bloody bandolier. He checked the pouches and the dimensional pocket. "No. No card whatsoever. He only had barrels of booze and some clothes in his dimensional storage."
"He said he buried it. If you find the cards, don't do anything to them. Stash them away, don't even look at them so you can claim ignorance if you are ever questioned."
"Okay. I'll let you know if I ever find the dwarf's snuff-box," Nero winked.
Amaryllis was confused but she smiled when she caught his hint. "Snuff? Ah... Right. Snuff-box. Good."
He led Amaryllis back to the tea room they used underneath the apothecary and she flew away. Nero left a keyed persistent portal to Rodther's shelter there and returned home.
He was mentally tired and worn out. His godmother was too intense for a person so small.
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