“You’ve gotten me a sharp one this time, huh Maria?”

“Yes, Magus.”

“However…it seems like there’s a problem.”

Still bowing down, I tensed. I hadn’t yet had a look at Aastor’s face, and I couldn’t read his tone. Was he being serious? Was my magical ability, clearly vast enough to have made the purple crystal explode, going to pose a serious issue here? Was I going to have to engage in Heroics again?

I couldn’t be sure, but I could have sworn that I felt Marie freeze as well. Good! If I was going down, I was taking the Priestess with me!

“A…problem, Magus? An able-bodied Male, in his early twenties, as your Rush Job specified. Is there…is something wrong?” Maria’s voice, I noted with some satisfaction, was stiff with what I could only imagine was fear. Serves her right for Summoning me without even bothering to ask!

Yes, that’s an impossibility. No, I don’t care. I’m very grumpy right now.

“Maria. Dearest Maria. Star of my eyes. Maria, whom I raised in these Halls and tutored in the ways of magic. Maria, you’ve known me for years, correct?”

“….Y-Yes, Magus.” There was a noticeable tremble in her voice.

Without looking up, I couldn’t be sure how serious the situation was. And looking up might attract Aastor’s attention, which I didn’t really want. I definitely knew that I couldn’t in any way defeat the powerful old Magus in combat, but if he was going to attack Maria…It would be foolish not to take the chance to attempt an escape. Whatever this facility was, I didn’t really want to stick around and explore the finer points of a place that performed cross-dimensional Summoning with the same gravitas as a fast food restaurant.

“THEN STOP CALLING ME MAGUS YOU CRETIN!”

I snorted, and then quickly stifled my laugh. I think Maria squealed a little bit, but it was hidden by the booming voice that came from the Magus. On the bright side, perhaps it wouldn’t be necessary to escape after all. My adventures had certainly taught me that almost no Isekai Villain had a sense of humor. Meanwhile, the very few Old Wizards ™ who played practical jokes were almost preternaturally powerful, extremely wise, and would likely die before my eyes after giving me some strange artifact or mystical spell.

Sweet! Those deals were totally worth it. At least after you got over the emotional backlash they caused, which just took practice. Thankfully, I had a lot of that.

Feeling a tiny bit more comfortable now that it had become clear that Magus Aastor was joking, I finally straightened my back. Hesitantly, I looked over at Aastor, taking the man in.

In my not inconsiderable experience, Old Wizards ™ had a penchant for certain archetypes. Some wanted to drive home that they were tough, veteran Battlemages who had fought in wars and killed scores of people and creatures. They wore armor (And sometimes it had even seen combat before!), to show off their prowess and military stature, and had rows of medals pinned to a breastplate.

The other kind were dressed like old hobos, in tattered robes or rumpled pajamas that made them look like they were broke, or had just woken up. All a ruse, of course, to disguise the fact that they held immense power. In general, the more the Old Wizard looked like they were harmless and possibly starving, the greater the arcane energy at their behest.

Both types were untrustworthy. Arrogant, disdainful and fairly likely to use you as a pawn in some game you didn’t even know you were involved in. Playing with Arcane energies and courtroom politics at the same time tended to make one inhospitable, irritable, and more than a little bit backstab-y.

Which is why I immediately trusted Aastor when I saw him. The Magus was practically bent parallel to the ground, with a bald head that had only a few wisps of grey peeking out behind his ears. His brown skin was pockmarked and liver spotted, and he was smiling up at Maria in a genial, grandfatherly way. There were no airs about him, no pretension at all. He didn’t wear fancy looking, artificially distressed armor with meaningless medals, or eccentric and tattered nightwear that made him look like the village crackpot. Instead, he was dressed like any old villager might have, in a simple coarse tunic and dusty traveling pants. There was a little dirt-stained hood around his shoulders and a thick, gnarled chunk of what I could only assume was wood.

“Is that a weapon? A wand? A walking stick?”

Politeness be damned, I couldn’t help myself! Something about Aastor’s person was very disarming. I should have been a bit more wary, a bit more patient. Instead, I just blurted out the first question in my mind.

THWACK!

And I immediately got a crushing blow to the forehead for my troubles. Old he may have been, but clearly he was quick enough to reach up and strike me across the head with the stick.

“Well, clearly this attitude won’t do! A walking stick? A WALKING STICK? Boy, how old do I look?”

“….” For my own safety, I decided to lie. I wasn’t seriously damaged by the walking stick, but there was no knowing how he would react.

“Umm, twenty? Thirty?”

THWACK!

“Don’t you lie to me, I’m ancient dammit! Old and wise and ANCIENT!” Okay, great, he actually was completely loony, so never mind all my analysis, escaping was clearly the right plan.

“And anyway, this is a gift. Hold it carefully!”

“A…gift? Wait wha-”

I was still nursing the second welt that Aastor had given me when the old man tossed the stick in my direction. Instinctively, I dodged and watched it sail past, landing a few feet away from me. Would it have been impossible to catch it? No, not really. But in general, when people toss things at you to take you by surprise, it’s often best to dodge. I let it land safely instead, and then, never breaking eye contact with the Magus, bent down to pick it up.

It was a strangely heavy piece of wood. Cool to the touch, and even though it was clearly a branch or part of a tree trunk, it was perfectly smooth. Closer to granite than wood, really. As I examined it, I noticed that Aastor was looking at me oddly.

Ah, and was that a twinkle in his eye?

God, I hate when Old Wizards ™ get a twinkle in their eyes. It never bodes well.

“Now, you hold on to that. Welcome to Excelsia, land where Magic flows, yada yada, I am your Summoner, Aastor VII, yada yada, you can call me Lord Emperor of All Time And Magic yada yada Maria I’m going to take him home now, okay?”

Maria had been watching the proceedings more or less impassively. It seemed like Aastor’s verbal outburst had caused her to freeze up completely. I wasn’t sure if she’d actually lost consciousness while standing on her feet or not, but I could see her blink every once in a while so I figured she was still alive. As Aastor announced that he was going to take me “home” (Again, what exactly am I being signed up for here?), she burst out of whatever spell had been keeping her contained.

“M-Magus! I mean, Uncle! We can’t…we haven’t even done the Magical Amplitude testing, since you ruined it and we still need to do physical tests and-”

“Maria, dear, I’m going to take him now, okay?” Aastor’s tone was amused, but firm. “A Rush Job isn’t likely to have anything special about him….unless there’s some other reason you want this particular young man along for longer, hmmm?”

His voice was dry and reedy, but there was a teasing note to it. Clever old man! Clearly, he was going to exploit his relationship with Maria and provoke her into letting me go. Of course, the Priestess was probably wise to his tricks so there was little chance this would work.

“Uncle, please!” Maria looked like she could do with a heart attack right about now. And like she wasn’t super picky about whether it hit Aastor, her, or me. “Just….Fine. Just take him, I'll handle everything here. And please fill out the Monthly Reports this time!”

Like I said, this was definitely going to work, and I never doubted it. Anyone who says otherwise is slandering my name and I won’t have it!

“If he lasts a month, I will!” The Magus replied cheerfully before striding down the long walkway in the center of the room and heading for the exit.

A month? A MONTH? Wait, hold up, what job has that kind of mortality rate other than being Chosen One? Gahhh! I thought this was going to be different! I looked over at Maria who was smiling fondly, still a little red around the ears as the blushing faded away.

“I…uh…help?” Oh Maria, divine Priestess, powerful summoner, you are my only hope.

“Good luck Sir. May the Winds guide you.”

Well, that could have gone better. I sighed, and turned around, catching the barest glimpse of the Magus heading out of the room.

I quickly followed him out into the stone hallway, still clutching the gnarled hunk of wood. Aastor had made quite an entrance, but his exit was a lot more subdued. As soon as we were clear of the rest of the room, he whirled around and looked at me.

“What’s your name, boy?”

“Blanc.”

“Blanc? That’s it? You need to work on your spiel, boy. Give it some dazzle! Some flair!”

Someone who understood showmanship! Hours, in front of a mirror, practicing each new addition! Finally, I had a willing audience for my Hero Intro. I cleared my throat, and pretended to draw a sword.

“Ahem! I am Blanc, Legendary Hero of 12 Worlds, Slayer of Dragons, Conqueror of the Dungeon of Galbraith, Friend to the Weak and Survivor of the Seventeen Plagues of Zeus!”

“Great. Any of that true?” He looked genuinely curious instead of openly mocking.

Well, that tracks. Even if Aastor looked like an old grandfather and had no airs of pretension about him, the man was still extremely old, powerful and probably knowledgeable. It would be a mistake to discount his knowledge of other worlds.

“All of it, actually.” I shrugged. “Admittedly, it works better with a real sword.”

“Hoohoohoo, well, boy, time to add a new item to the list.”

The old man smiled, and took a wide stance. His hands stretched out in front of him as he mimed the latest addition to my resume as an adventurer.

Finally, I’d be told what I was here for. Giant Killing? Curing a Plague? Deity Destruction?

“Butler to a Disgraced Archmage! That’ll get you some respect, hmm?”

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ISEKAI HERO V2.0 Beta by XXXXXX

Congratulations! New S-Tier Rarity Class Designation Unlocked.

As this is your only class, it will be automatically chosen for you. (Changed from V1.13. All Players must have at least one active class as soon as possible.)

Class Designation: Butler to a Disgraced Archmage

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