“Are you nuts? You are actually going to the circus with that creep!?” I rolled my eyes as I sat in front of my vanity mirror brushing my hair. I had made the mistake of mentioning to Aaron that I was planning to hang out with Conner today. As usual he blew up. Setting down my black rounded brush I swiveled in my chair, so I was facing him.

“Aaron calm down. Conner and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. He is not going to hurt me.” Folding his arms and frowning Aaron looked away from me glaring at the wall. Sighing I got up and walking over to him I placed my hand gently on his cheek and patiently waited for him to look at me. Finally, his eyes full of sorrow, worry, and something I couldn’t quite identify found mine. I smiled reassuredly at him.

“I promise I will be ok, but I have to do this. It has been 16 years since I have dared step foot inside a circus. I want to prove to myself once and for all that there really is nothing to fear. Otherwise that day will forever rule over me.”

“Then let me take you instead. Not co…” Pressing my lips briefly to his I stopped him mid – sentence. Pulling away I grabbed his hands and lovingly gazed into his eyes.

“Aaron in 2 weeks I will be yours forever, but today I just want to hang out with my childhood friend. Although Conner has a place in my heart he is just a friend. You are my fiancé almost husband. I want to be with you not him. Will you trust me?” For a moment I thought he was going to say no, but finally his shoulders sagged admitting defeat.

“Just be careful ok.” I smiled planting another quick kiss on his cheek before picking up my brush and sitting back down. He glanced at me one more time before sighing and leaving the room.

I paused hearing the door shut behind him, before finishing my hair. Putting the brush back in the dresser I gazed at the red headed woman in a dark purple tank top and black shrug. Grabbing my purse, I slung it over my shoulders before heading out the door. Making my way to Conner’s and my meeting place for tonight I became aware of light footsteps following me. Stiffing a little I stopped and slowly turned my head to see who was there. I frowned at the empty hallway behind me. A little nervous I continued walking while keeping half an ear trained behind me. I bit my lip nervously as the footsteps resumed the moment I continued walking. Stopping I quickly spun around in hopes of catching whoever it was. Yet once again I was greeted with an empty hallway.

“H…hello? I know you are out there. Show yourself.” I bravely called hoping they couldn’t hear the tremble in my voice. When no one appeared I slowly made my way to where the sound was originally coming from. I stopped when I reached a doorway leading into a separate hallway. I could hear movement on the other side. I was just about to open it when it suddenly swung open itself revealing Conner.

“Conner? You were the one following me?” I sputtered slightly annoyed. He frowned a look of confusion lighting up his eyes.

“Following you? No, I just finished my shift. I was heading over to find you since I didn’t see you at our meeting place, but than I saw someone duck into this hallway. Though they disappeared when I reached this door. Then you appeared.

I wasn’t sure if I believed him or not. Half of me wanted to believe him, but the other half was doubtful as his excuses all seemed really similar to each other. Plus, it also didn’t help that Conner kept appearing where the attacker should be.

“No, you are just letting what Aaron said get to you Sasha.” I quietly scolded myself.

“Maybe this was a bad idea after all. Maybe you would be safer here.”

“No, it’s fine Conner. I haven’t been getting a ton of sleep lately because of these attacks so I probably just imagined it.” I lied forcing a smile.

“Ok well if at any time tonight you feel unsafe let me know and I will take you home. If you are ready shall we go?” Conner smiled offering me his arm. Taking his arm, I allowed him to lead me toward the entrance. As we walked I couldn’t help but wonder why it is that Conner always seemed to show up right when I am being attacked or followed.

***

“Mommy I want to see the funny clowns.”

“I know baby, but we have to wait for Fredrick, and your dad.”

“Sasha?”

Sasha!?

I was snapped from my memories as Conner gently shook my shoulder. Looking around I could see we were in the middle of a crowded area of people on top of a wooden pier overlooking the beach. There were concession stands all around us with people yelling and holding up cotton candy, candied apples, corn fritters, and other things. My eyes roamed to the side of me where Conner stood in his royal guard uniform looking concerned. I forced a smile as I looked up at him. I was hoping he didn’t see the sadness in my eyes.

“I’m ok. I was just day dreaming is all.” I laughed nervously. I bit my lip as I noticed the unconvinced look on his face. I was just scanning the area for a distraction when suddenly we heard the crackle of a speaker overhead.

“Ladies, and gentlemen. If I could have your attention. The show is about to begin. So, if you would all kindly make your way to the big top we can begin.” I breathed a sigh of relief at the distraction as I quickly turned to Conner.

“Well it’s going to start we should head over there.” I quickly grabbed his hand and began pulling him toward the big rainbow-colored tent hoping he wouldn’t press the issue of me zoning out in the middle of a crowd. Stopping in front of the tent flap Conner handed the performer our tickets before we headed toward the front row.

☆☆☆

“Are you sure you are ok?” Conner asked leaning forward in his chair, so he could see my face.

“Of course. I am just excited is all.” I lied laughing nervously my left eye twitchiching from my growing panic. Turning back toward the front I kept my eyes firmly glued on the center of the tent where the performers could be seen running around setting up the finishing touches. I forced myself to ignore Conner’s eyes boring into my soul. It was as though he was attempting to see into my heart and find out what was really going on. I jumped and clung to his arm as a huge flash of light and smoke filled the tent. I relaxed and looked up at Conner embarrassed as the smoke cleared to reveal the ring master. His arms were raised above his head in a victory pose as his black staff with a snake’s head carved in the top with glowing red eye was clutched tightly in his big hairy hands.

“WELCOME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TO THE CIRCUS!” His voice booming across the tent as he slowly lowered his arms to his side. Scanning the many faces adorned in the crowd he paused when he noticed me in the front row. He did a double take before releasing a big toothy grin as he bowed to me.

“Well what a pleasant surprise. Our very own princess has decided to join us today. I do hope you enjoy the show your highness.” I blushed staring at the ground as all eyes immediately trained on me. I mumbled a quick thank you as I kicked myself for not wearing a disguise.

“I believe the last time we were graced with the royal family’s presence was 16 years ago, when I was run out of town by your family.” He continued forcing himself to smile. My eyes snapped to his face as I stared at him in horror as I realized for the first time since he appeared in front of us that this was the same exact ringmaster from that fateful night. I could see confusion written on Conner’s face as he switched between looking at me and the ringmaster. My breathing became labored as a cold sweat appeared on my forehead. I could no longer hear what anyone was saying as the first performer took center stage. It was like everyone around me had vanished as I clutched at the fabric on my jeans and stared wide eyed at the ground. Painful memories immediately began flooding my mind threatening to engulf me. I was snapped out of my growing panic as I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking up with tears in my eyes I see Conner watching me with concern. Glancing around I can see Jugglers on a tightrope doing back flips in front of me as I sat there shaking like a leaf.

“Sasha?” Shaking myself I forced myself to smile up at him.

“I…I’m ok. I… I just need some fresh air is all.” I stuttered jumping to my feet and racing toward the exit. From the corner of my eye I can see the ringmaster smirking at my obvious panic, but I ignored it. No matter how hard I tried I just could not shake the overwhelming fear slowly consuming me. Stopping in front of the guard rail overlooking the beach I leaned exhausted against it as I gazed out across the ocean gently lapping against the soft sand below. Closing my eyes, I listened to the silence around me as I tried to calm my pounding heart. I jumped as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I sighed in relief once I saw it was only Conner.

“Sasha what’s going on?” I hesitated not sure whether I was ready to share this with anyone yet but seeing the genuine concern on his face I relented.

“As you and everyone else in the kingdom knows my mom was killed at a circus. What you don’t know though is that it was this same circus that she died at, and it was entirely my fault.” He stared at me stunned his mouth hanging open unable to come up with a response.

“It happened 16 years ago. My parents had decided to reward us for being so good. So, they decided to take us to the Circus that had recently come to town.” I paused trying to stop the tremor that was beginning to appear in my voice. Conner leaning against the railing looked out across the ocean as he waited for me to continue.

“The guards had just pulled into the parking lot when I jumped out too excited to wait.”

***

“Sasha hold on. Wait for your dad and brother to get here.” My mom called stepping out of the limo after me.

“But I want to see the funny clowns.” I whined impatiently.

“I know sweetie, but you need to wait. Your dad and brother will be here shortly in the other limo and then we can leave.” Sticking out my lower lip I crossed my arms pouting.

“Why couldn’t we ride in the same limo.”

“Because Sweetie the rules of the land dictate that once the royal children reach the age of 6 they must ride in separate limos in case something happens. They want to make sure that if something happens to one royal child the kingdom will still have an heir to the throne.” She gently reminded me as she turned back to the limo to talk to the driver. The guards were standing around the limo watching our surroundings as they waited for us to leave. Fuming over being told no I decided I didn’t need to wait for the others. So, glancing back to make sure no one was watching me I quietly made my way toward the platform where other people were heading. I figured I would find a clown, talk to them, and get back before anyone noticed I was gone. Gazing up at the faces of the people I passed I began to feel uneasy as more and more people began crowding around me.

“Maybe I should just head back.” I mumbled turning around and beginning to retrace my steps. After a few minutes of walking I stopped as I realized I was lost. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as fear began to take hold. I wanted my mom. Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around I see a clown towering over me. White red and yellow paint covering his face.

“Well hello little princess. Where’s your mom at.” He asked in a sing song voice.

“I don’t know I am lost.” I sniffed rubbing my eyes with my hands.

“Well why don’t you come with me than. I will gladly help you find her.” Nodding I took the hand he offered me and allowed him to lead me toward a dark alley leading away from the beach. As we moved farther and farther from the crowds the sound of his big floppy shoes slapping against the pavement became more noticeable. I was suddenly uneasy as I heard a quiet voice in my head telling me something wasn’t right.

“Um are you sure this is the way back?” I nervously asked gazing around me at the unfamiliar territory. I looked up at him confused when he didn’t respond. He wouldn’t even meet my gaze as he kept tugging on my arm, leading me forward. I was just about to say I could find my own way back when I heard someone calling my name behind me. Turning my head, I see my mom rushing toward me. I was just about to answer when the clown suddenly pulled me roughly toward him as he whipped out a knife from his oversized pockets. I whimpered as I felt the cold sharp blade against my throat.

“Let her go.” My mom ordered glaring at the clown as she stopped a few feet from us.

“Can’t do that your highness. This little girl is going to make me the richest man alive as well as win me the throne to the kingdom.” He sneered no hint of his earlier sing song voice.

“You may take the throne, but the people will never accept someone who kidnaps children as their king. She whispered menacingly taking a step toward him. I winced as I felt him jerk me backwards as he took a step back.

“They won’t have a choice.” He snapped.

“Maybe but how do you plan on getting her out of here when I have a million guards combing the area for us right now.”

“Who said I was taking her anywhere, she is merely a distraction.”

“Mom look out!” I screamed a little too late as I noticed the clown slowly approaching her from behind. My mom whipping around attempted to defend herself, but to no avail. I screamed in horror as I saw her struck down before my eyes. I squirmed and kicked trying to get to her as the clown held me tighter. The clown who stabbed her knelt beside her, hands on his knees.

“She was never meant to be the target only the bait to draw you and your husband in, so we could kill you both. Though I must thank your daughter. If she hadn’t run off when she did I don’t know if our plan would have worked.” He whispered. Getting to his feet he looked up at us. I saw a look of shock cross his face a warning on his tongue. I felt the blade slip from the clown’s hands as someone from behind hit him over the head. I raced away from him the moment the knife dropped as he began to fall forward. I glanced up to see my dad standing there holding one of the guard’s batons. I was about to say something when the other clown grabbed my arm and yanked me to him. I sighed in frustration as once again a knife was held to my throat.

“Let her go. I already have my guards surrounding the area. If you want any hope of leaving here a live you will put down the knife right now, let her go, and surrender.” He hesitated for just a moment obviously weighing his options before finally dropping the knife to the ground and pushing me away. I ran into my dad’s arms as the guards came swarming into the alley and handcuffed both clowns before leading them away. Glancing back, I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes as I saw my moms Lifeless body lying on the hard-cold cement.

***

“And the ringmaster was still able to work here?” Conner asked flabbergasted.

“Yes and no. When confronted about it he claimed he had fired those two that morning, and the other performers back up his claim. Since there was no proof that he was involved my dad had no choice but to let him stay. Although once word got out what happened everyone who loved the Queen, which was most of the kingdom, avoided this place like the plague. With lack of paying customers the ringmaster had no choice but to pack up and move on to the next town. I guess he decided since it was so long-ago people would have forgotten. I personally didn’t realize this was the same circus until he mentioned it.”

“But if he didn’t want to remind people why did he harass you back there Sasha?”

“Because Conner he is still bitter about what happened and blames me. It’s his way of punishing me by humiliating me in front of everyone.” I sighed tears streaming down my face. Instead of responding he reached over and pulled me into his arms holding me as I sobbed.

☆☆☆

Entering the castle, I was just about to thank Conner for everything when Aaron followed by 5 guards appeared. Walking over to us Aaron stopped in front of me as the guards approached and handcuffed Conner.

“Hey what’s going on? Why are you arresting Conner?” I demanded confused.

“Conner you are under arrest for attacking and attempting to kidnap the princess.” Aaron stated ignoring me.

“Aaron what are you talking about? We have been over this Conner is not the Attacker.”

“We looked back over the video surveillance of the night someone broke into the princess’s room. The person I saw removing his mask running away from the scene was you Conner.” Aaron calmly stated more to Conner than to me.

“Is this true Conner.” I whispered my voice trembling from the pain I felt.

“No! Sasha it’s not true. I am your best friend. I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“Give it up Conner. You not only were present at the scene of every crime, but you also were one of the only people besides the royal family who could send the guards away every time she was attacked. Not to mention you were conveniently absent every time the attacker appeared.” Aaron spat hatred in his eyes.

“Sasha please you have to believe me.” Conner pleaded tears in his eyes. I turned away from him unable to meet his eyes. I couldn’t believe he would do this to me. I thought he was my friend. I flinched as I heard him screaming my name repeatedly as the guards dragged him away. Aaron glanced over at me a look of disgust in his eyes, before turning on his heels and heading back to his chambers. I stared after him pain written clearly across my face as he left me there without one single word of comfort. He never even addressed me the entire time Conner was here, not even saying my name only the princess. Falling to my knees I burst into tears, sobbing into my hands.