Allen cleared his throat. “What am I doing here then?!” he asked, comically overexaggerating his tone and body language. By this point Allen was familiar enough with the kind of person… thing… the figure was. He had died dozens of times already, respawning after a quick word each time. He knew it was all bullshit with him.

The figure of darkness smiled back, although only with his eyes. He had no mouth, or a face at all really. “Well, I’ve got a proposition for you, m’boy,” he said.

Allen pursed his lips in silence as the figure gingerly placed a faintly glowing hand on his shoulder. The two shared another moment of awkward silence before Allen rolled his eyes. “Fine. What is it then?”

The figure smiled with his eyes again. “I’ll explain all the details and stuff later, but basically, if you do a favor for me then I’ll stick you back on Earth at the moment you died like nothing ever happened,” he said. “All you have to do is, uh… work for me for a little while.”

“Extortion?” Allen replied, his eyebrows knotted. “This is not how I wanted to spend my evening, but at least it isn’t boring,” he thought.

“Haha! Well yes, but actually no,” began the figure with a hearty laugh. “I could only offer you this deal if I had more influence, and you will help me gain that influence. It’s simply impossible for me to respawn you on Earth without more authority over what goes on there. We will help each other help ourselves.”

“Whatever, I’d take the deal even if it just meant I could move on to the afterlife without having to die from illness or old age.” Allen looked down for a moment, trying to appear deep in contemplation. “What are you by the way, and do you have a name?” he asked at last, a misdirection.

The figure of darkness laughed again, clapping Allen on the shoulder. “Your mind couldn’t handle it buddy, and even if it could, my name can’t be pronounced with, um… sound in the first place.”

Allen pursed his lips again. “What?” he scoffed.

The figure smirked with his hollow, white eyes. “Okay, so you know that old movie Scanners where the guy’s head blows up? Well, it’s like that, but you.”

"...What?" Allen repeated. “I have no idea what he’s on about. Did I grow up uncultured?” Allen thought to himself.

Apparently, the figure of darkness groaned. “Really? Wow, nothing? That’s kinda disheartening. Well, here’s the link anyhow, just in case you’re wondering what the fuck I’m talking about.”

https://youtu.be/PMY9Yq0_6pU

“The link? Where?” asked Allen, looking around in the empty space with a confused and frightened expression.

“Hah, you’re too cute,” chuckled the figure, his white outline glowing brighter with genuine amusement. “It’s a meta joke, you wouldn’t get it.” He shook his head. “Anyway, to answer your question though, I am a great terrestrial being, god of this world and the other commonwealth realms. You may call me Andy.”

Allen blinked. “Andy?... ‘The’ God, or just ‘a’ god?” he wondered.

“Now, mister Durand,” Andy began, “If you’re done stalling for word count, would you care to hear the terms of our agreement?” Andy continued after seeing Allen nod indistinctly, “Okay then. First, I will have to clear all your progress, then I’ll need you to sign a contract that binds your soul to my, erm… service…” he paused, watching Allen’s reaction.

“Well, I’ve died at higher levels than this. It’ll set me back a couple years but it’s not like that part really matters. On the other hand, I guess I’m fine with selling my soul at this point. Whatever it is, I just hope it’s more interesting than this purgatory of a world,” he told himself. “Sure,” he said aloud and nodded.

“…Alright, once you’ve signed the soul binding oath thingy, you’ll become my champion and fight in some tournament style deathmatches, fun stuff like that,” said Andy with a smile. “Nobody really dies in the matches though, it’s like a Pokémon battle, but you’re the Pokémon.”

“Huh.”

“Also, you’ll be using the same system that you’re already familiar with from this little world I created here. So, I’ll need you to power level the shit out of your class for me, got it?”

“Is that it?” Allen asked, deep in fake consideration. He’d already made his decision a minute ago.

“Yeah, and if I can get far enough in the tournament I’ll be able to use my powers to pop you back to Earth at the moment you died, no strings attached,” explained Andy, literally beaming with enthusiasm. “You got hit by a truck by the way. Classic. When I respawn you, I can even make the truck bump you a little so you can file a lawsuit or something, Haha!”

Allen watched the god through squinted eyes. He waited for the tension to reach a certain point before letting his shoulders drop with a dramatic sigh. “Alright, I’m in,” he said.

“Okay, great! Just sign here please and then I’ll reset your level,” said Andy, energetically fist bumping with Allen.

A moment later and he received a message in his head.

Soul Binding of Eternal Servitude Agreement

(Reviewed and Mediated by the Cosmic Fair Play Society)

PLEASE CAREFULLY READ THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT IN ITS ENTIRETY. BY ACCEPTING THE CONTENTS OF THIS AGREEMENT, YOU HEREBY AGREE TO BE BOUND BY ALL TERMS INCORPORATED HEREIN. IF YOU DO NOT EXPRESSLY AGREE TO ALL TERMS AND CONDITIONS LISTED, THEN PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED WITH THIS AGREEMENT.

1. Terms of Agreement

This Soul Binding of Eternal Servitude Agreement (“Agreement”) is entered into as of Divine Epoch 10035993 (“Effective Date”) between soul Jeremiah Allen Durand (hereinafter referred to as “Soul”) and cosmic entity ¢̴̧̧̢̣̙̬̰̦̈̽ͧ́͐͘å̻̪̗̪̔̔͞¥̹̹̈ͬ́£̷̸̧̖̮̩͇̥̈ͮ̎̀̕͠þ̢̛̦̉̕ð͔̫̻̳̻̔̋̐͗̄͡ê̶͖̾́ͭ̐ͨ (hereinafter referred to as “Cosmic Entity”). Once the Agreement is officiated, the Soul will be bound to the service of the Cosmic Entity for all eternity or until otherwise stated at the Cosmic Entity’s discretion.

By accepting the Agreement, as of the Effective Date, the Soul will be obligated to fulfill the orders made herein by the Cosmic Entity. Failure to comply will result the Soul’s immediate banishment to the bottom layer of hell where he/she/it will burn in the pits of hellfire until the end of time.

2. Details of Agreement

The Soul must agree to meet all of the following orders listed below by ¢̴̧̧̢̣̙̬̰̦̈̽ͧ́͐͘å̻̪̗̪̔̔͞¥̹̹̈ͬ́£̷̸̧̖̮̩͇̥̈ͮ̎̀̕͠þ̢̛̦̉̕ð͔̫̻̳̻̔̋̐͗̄͡ê̶͖̾́ͭ̐ͨ:

a. The Soul must continually develop his/hers/its level and skills in the Universal Cosmic Fantasy LitRPG System (“System”)_______________________________________.

b. The Soul must fight in all matches in the Cosmic Inter-realm Battle Arena Tournament (“Tournament”) required of it by the Cosmic Entity._________________________.

c. The Soul must fight admirably, honestly and with maximum effort and sportsmanship in all matches of the Tournament_______________________________________.

The Cosmic Entity must agree to meet all of the following orders listed below by ¢̴̧̧̢̣̙̬̰̦̈̽ͧ́͐͘å̻̪̗̪̔̔͞¥̹̹̈ͬ́£̷̸̧̖̮̩͇̥̈ͮ̎̀̕͠þ̢̛̦̉̕ð͔̫̻̳̻̔̋̐͗̄͡ê̶͖̾́ͭ̐ͨ:

a. The Cosmic Entity must not allow the Soul to experience any permanent harm or trauma while in service to him/her/it ___________________________________.

b. The Cosmic Entity must return the Soul to his/her/its proper place on his/her/its proper universe, planet and time at the end of the specified period___________.

3. Signatures

Cosmic Entity’s name (Print): ¢̴̧̧̢̣̙̬̰̦̈̽ͧ́͐͘å̻̪̗̪̔̔͞¥̹̹̈ͬ́£̷̸̧̖̮̩͇̥̈ͮ̎̀̕͠þ̢̛̦̉̕ð͔̫̻̳̻̔̋̐͗̄͡ê̶͖̾́ͭ̐ͨ _______________________.

Signature: Andy______________. Date: Divine Epoch 10035993__.

Soul’s name (Print): _____________________________________.

Signature: ___________________. Date: ___________________.

In all honesty, Allen didn’t read a word of the document, but to his credit, he did skim over it for a few moments. At first, he wasn’t sure of how to sign a legal document with his mind, but simply thinking about filling out his name and signature did the trick.

“Alright! Wonderful Mister Durand, thank you,” began Andy again. Then the god looked off into the distance as his form blurred a little, seemingly caught up in something only he could see. “Now if I can just reset your level… um, what was it again? …” he muttered to himself. “Down down, up up, circle left, A B B A X, left right, and then hold Y…”

After a second of silence, Allen gasped as his skills, his enhanced body and senses, and all his levels were stripped from him. Nearly three years of hard work gone in an instant. It actually felt the same as it did when he respawned, but even more disorienting. Then another message popped into vision.

Congratulations, you are now Level 0.

Requirements met: 0 XP

“Ah shit,” came Andy’s voice suddenly. “Sorry man, resetting you made it so you count as an off-worlder again. Now you gotta redo the tutorial. My bad, I’ll make it up to you somehow… Well, at least you get some starting XP though.”

Allen sighed at the message in front of him. “It’s fine I guess,” he said.