Bonifacius cast Master Charge shooting towards the three men, he smashed into 'NoPissBottles', the leather armour wearing mace-wielding human, his arm went limp as they switched to the bruised texture, it was clear that arm was broken.

With almost no health, NoPissBottle was pushed back, a little dialogue-box icon with a swirling circle which meant the target was dazed.

GarlicBoi swung a large scythe which looked like it was made from pure fire, he pulled it seemingly out of nowhere catching Bonifacius off guard, it made contact with his armour and immediately lost all momentum as the blade shattered.

"Bonifacius: I am level 100, thee can't cause me any harm!"

He grinned smugly.

"GarlicBoi: What the hell are you doing in a level 1 zone?!"

That was a very reasonable question, except they were also far from level one.

"Bonifacius: tis not any of thy business!"

He didn’t want to admit he was doing level-one quests.

The swordsman of the three men charged in.

He was wielding a rapier he cast a spell the animation of which caused dozens of sword afterimages to slash at Bonifacius.

The spell was called Blade Fury.

"GarlicBoi: Now! attack!"

Runes appeared below GarlicBoi and flames appeared in his hand as the short three-second cast time past unleashing a bright red ball of fire Blazing Wave.

It moved in a zig-zag pattern towards Bonifacius who didn't even move out of the way.

The little fire explosion went off.

"Bonifacius: alloweth's see - thee did cast blazing wave a level 35 spell, as well as blade fury a level 45 spell. "

"Bonifacius: *raises an eyebrow and looks over to NoPissBottles*"

"Bonifacius: doth thee wish to continue’th this square? or doth thee value thy honour points?"

NoPissBottle didn't reply for a few seconds before he played the "/rude" emote which made him flip Bonifacius the bird.

"NoPissBottle: Fine - you re*&@ds can play your little games here - we'll get you back for this though!"

The other two proceeded to emote "/rude" and "/wave" as they ran off.

"Bonifacius: I didn't have to killeth anyone!"

He looked pretty satisfied.

"JohnWillStab: Why the hell were they after you?"

The chat went quiet for a few seconds.

"XxFoxlyxX: What do you mean? They're pvprs - they'll go after anyone :/"

Foxly shrugged.

"JohnWillStab: I can't see that being all that fun..."

"Bonifacius: in moderation, a sparring session can beest thrilling!"

"JohnWillStab: I guess?"

"XxFoxlyxX: Why does he speak like that?"

Foxly squinted in a strange mix of uncertainly and confusion.

"JohnWillStab: He's roleplaying."

"XxFoxlyxX: ...With himself?"

"JohnWillStab: ..."

John nodded.

"XxFoxlyxX: I did a fair bit of rp back in my day - why don't you join an rp guild?"

There were plenty of RP guilds on the server, a handful of which weren’t even ERP!

"Bonifacius: I hath tried - but they did refuse mine own application on account of mine own dialect"

He lowered his head in disappointment.

"XxFoxlyxX: ...you realise you're not supposed to use Shakespearian English in roleplays?"

Correction – you may use Shakespearian English in roleplays if you are roleplaying Shakespear or someone form his time.

"Bonifacius: Nay..."

XxFoxlyXx sighs.

"Bonifacius: how didst thee do that?!"

During his quest of RP discovery, Bonifacius never realised how to use custom emotes.

A wave of excitement washed over Bonifacius upon discovering the new method of playing emotes.

"XxFoxlyxX: The command is /e followed by a description of your actions..."

Bonifacius nods understanding what XxFoxlyXx is trying to explain.

"XxFoxlyxX: great, here... I'll add you to my friend's list."

A dialogue-box appeared in the centre of Bonifacius screen “XxFoxlyxX added you to their friends list - do you accept?”

In a flash he accepted.

"XxFoxlyxX: here, I'll add you while I'm at it, John."

"JohnWillStab: sure"

“Making friends already…” John thought.

The same popup appeared for John, he too accepted.

"XxFoxlyxX: Wait, aren’t you the new guy? XxFoxlyxX asked John upon noticing his name."

"JohnWillStab: Yeah! Aren’t you the frog-mol#*ter?"

"XxFoxlyxX: …"

"JohnWillStab: …"

"Bonifacius: ..."

"XxFoxlyxX: Dude, what happens in global chat – stays in global chat…"

The awkward silence dragged on for a few more seconds.

"XxFoxlyxX: Right - I have some business to attend to by the Azure forest, so I'll be going."

JohnWillStab waves XxFoxlyxX a goodbye.

"XxFoxlyxX: Right - one last thing, 99% of all rps just use modern English with a few 19'th - 20’th century words tossed in."

"Bonifacius: Does thou mean this will suffice?"

Foxly shrugged.

"XxFoxlyxX: Sure - at least I'm confident I understand what you're saying to me."

"Bonifacius: Many thanks for your advice!"

JohnWillStab wasn’t sure how he felt about now understanding Bonifacius.

"JohnWillStab: holy crap I can understand you!"

"Bonifacius: Surely thou understood me before?"

"JohnWillStab: mostly, but the number of apostrophes and "th" sounds was... taxing... spiritually..."

John shuddered both in and out of the game.

"Bonifacius: I see, then it is good that we ran into that mysterious frogman!"

John nodded.

"JohnWillStab: Yeah - by the way, what is that honour thing you mentioned?"

"Bonifacius: Ah, that is merely a statistic within the game - should you seek death too often or act in a way unbecoming of a hero of this world you will be punished with lost honour points."

"JohnWillStab: Is that like the karma stat?"

"Bonifacius: No - the karma statistic is a new invention, twas cut short by the abandonment of the game by its developers almost a year back."

JohnWillStab lost another bit of respect for the game.

"JohnWillStab: ...so it's just an incomplete feature?"

"Bonifacius: So it would seem to me - but alas we may never know! Why would there exist a stat that is maintained between all our character... back when we could have multiple characters that is!"

"Bonifacius: Now then, JohnWillStab, I shall go return the quest, soon you may be able to enter the town!"

"JohnWillStab: that'd be nice... T_T"

A new box opened in the corner of John's screen, it was a friend request from Bonifacius, naturally he accepted.

"Bonifacius: Ha! I shall return with haste!"

"JohnWillStab: alright."

Bonifacius leaves JohnWillStab behind and enters the town...

Bonifacius began walking away from John and into and past the gates of the town, the same town as before.

It was not familiar to Bonifacius since he didn't get a chance to level properly before, not to mention being able to level in the undead zone - but the layout of the npcs was predictable, so he never struggled with it too badly.

Meanwhile outside JohnWillStab stood idly, he was reading over the flavour text of the items he got from the boars when suddenly he was approached by a figure dressed in yellow, it looked like another frogman, or rather a frogwoman, she wore a long, bright-yellow overcoat and trousers, pouches and bags covered the belt region of the character, over their head they wore a hood, two copper-colour bangs stuck out from underneath the hood, the characteristic wide mouth of the frogmen maintaining a neutral look.

"♕: Do you have my money?"

"JohnWillStab: No, sorry, I think you got the wrong person."

"♕: 9,999,999 gold, ringing any bells?"

"JohnWillStab: Wait, you're the one who sent it?"

"♕: Yes, so... do you have it?"

John opened his bags seeing that he only had three gold, the money he got from Bonifacius for the various wearable drops from the boars.

"JohnWillStab: No - sorry, I think it got wiped when I finished the tutorial."

"♕: Tutorial?... wait, you're actually a new player!?"

She was more shocked than anything.

JohnWillStab nodded.

"♕: I thought you're just fucking with everyone in global..."

That was not an uncommon event – though a player by the name of XPhax was the go-to ‘troll’ on the server, the word toll is in quotes for reasons that will become apparent in the coming chapters.

"JohnWillStab: Yeah - I got a letter telling me I'll need to make my character and some money - I took the money and I got a message saying I'll lose my stuff after the tutorial."

She pinched the bridge of her nose.

"♕: so you lost 9,999,999 gold?"

JohnWillStab scratched his head and shrugged.

"JohnWillStab: I guess, I'm sorry about that - I'm still new to this game!"

"♕: No variable type in the entire history of programming contains enough space to even get close to the amounts of shits I do not give..."

“What a likable character…” he thought.

"JohnWillStab: Uhm... I’m very sorry?"

"♕: I can't live off the money I have left! I have a large investment to make, y'know!"

"JohnWillStab: I have like 3 gold I can give you..."

"♕:…”

"♕:…”

"♕: Can't even get a decent meal with that money... much less start a slave-business..."

♕ started casting a spell, at first John thought it was a water spell but after it was cast nothing happened.

"♕: Right - I'd suggest you [email protected]!k off now, there's going to be a few people here pretty soon..."

"JohnWillStab: Hold on, start a what now?!“

Unlike ♕, John was very much concerned about the slave-trade business.

"♕: I was planning to stay low for a while, but since you lost my money, I just spawned some more In… and I’m like 99% sure the anti-cheat will detect that."

Within a few second a sound could be heard from inside of the town, it was one of the generic magic sounds accompanied by light. The local dialogue became filled with text.

"Guard: Stay back!"

"Guard: Stay back!"

"Guard: Stay back!"

"Guard: Stay back!"

"Innkeeper Jason: Get out!"

"Guard: Aghh!"

"Guard: Aghh!"

"Guard: Stay back!"

"Guard: Aghh!"

"Guard: Aghh!"

"Guard: Aghh!"

"Innkeeper Jason: Ugh-ghh..."

"♕: And here's are the royal c*@ts..."

She sighed,

"JohnWillStab: What?"

"♕: Are stupid questions like a catch-phrase of yours?!”

"♕:…”

"♕: a guild of as*@oles who think they're special because they target cheaters and stuff..."

"JohnWillStab: ...wait... you wouldn't happen to be a cheater?!"

"♕: NO S!#T SHERLOCK! MY NAME IS A FU*#ING CROWN!"

♕ imagined John’s mind as a very slow screensaver that produces a coherent thought when it hits a screen corner.

"JohnWillStab: Right, but how was I supposed to know you're a cheater?!"

"♕: OF COURSE - I JUST SEND OUT 10 MILLION GOLD TO PEOPLE FOR SH#*S AND GIGGLES!"

John crossed his arms.

"JohnWillStab: Now to be fair, I don’t really have an understanding of how much that is…"

"JohnWillStab: Like are we talking cool new bike or small island?“

He was met with silence.

"♕: Whatever, I'm out, call me if you need some money spawned in."

"JohnWillStab: You can do that?!?!" He asked not remembering she literally just did.

♕ hands JohnWillStab a business card before making a dramatic exit!

With another water-spell animation ♕ cast a spell and disappeared, in John's inventory was now a "?" icons with some flavour text, before he could read it he was distracted by several heavily armoured men and women marching out of the city.

A bolt of lightning shot towards him causing his character to fall face-first onto the ground.

In an instant, John's character was placed in the sleep animation as evident by the 'ZZZ' bubble over their head.

"Pandors_T_T: There you are you piece of crap!"

"JohnWillStab: What the hell man!?"

"Pandors_T_T: Don't play dumb - we already know you can f*@k with the client-side game details, so changing your name and player model isn't a new thing for you!"

"JohnWillStab: Wait, you mean the cheater?! He just teleported out!"

"Olivionion: Yo, boss, will I call for the cart?"

"Pandors_T_T: Yeah, that should do..."

"Olivionion: k"

Olivionion, the merman with blue-green skin and casual looking clothes used a private chat to get someone who can summon the cart mount teleported to this town.

Moments later another light appeared as a large, heavy-looking wolfkin walked out, he was wearing a chef's hat, in fact he was dressed as a chef.

Moments later most of the other armoured men disappeared, seemingly not expecting the arrest to go this smoothly.

"Pedecree: You two better have a good reason to drag me out now, I was in the middle of a cooking contest..."

"Olivionion: what's with the outfit?"

"Pandors_T_T: Are you seriously arriving at an official guild arrest in a chef's costume?"

"Pedecree: I'm just the cart guy, you're the justice bois..."

"Pandors_T_T: don't call us that..."

"Olivionion: lol"

"Pandors_T_T: don't encourage him onion!"

"Olivionion: k, sorry."

Pedecree looked over to where John was.

"Pedecree: Is this the one?"

"Pandors_T_T: Yeah, she's been on the run for ages now - finally got her! Imma get a better rank for sure now!" Pandors_T_T played the “cheer” animation.

"JohnWillStab: You've got the wrong person! I'm not the cheater!"

Pedecree started casting a spell, once it finished there was a loud whistling sound effect as a cart pulled by two horses faded into existence.

Pedecree walked over to the sleeping JohnWillStab and used the command "/pickup JohnWillStab" which resulted in John's ragdoll body being carried like a sack of potatoes onto the cart.

"JohnWillStab: Where the hell are you going?!"

"Pedecree: Sorry, karma's a b*#ch..."

"JohnWillStab: I didn't do anything!"

"Pandors_T_T: We're taking you to the JGuardian guild hall in Highfall, granted I doubt we'll need a trial but we'll probably put on a show just for fun..."

Pandors_T_T shrugged.

"Pandors_T_T: Curstl will definitely make me an officer for this!"

"JohnWillStab: I'm not a cheater! And this is just a game! Don't you have anything better to do?!"

"Pandors_T_T: Yh, a game we're trying to keep afloat even though you people just take advantage of the lack of moderators!"

"Olivionion: Yeah, I was expecting a proper boss-fight against the so-called master cheater."

The men revealed to be members of the guild JGuardian were dressed in similar, but not exactly the same armour, some wore leather others steel or iron, but they all had a crest consisting of a shield and a rook chess piece.

"JohnWillStab: How did you even know where the hacker was?!"

"Pandors_T_T: Fine, we'll entertain your little act and pretend you don't know!"

"Pandors_T_T: it's because we have people with access to the mod's chat - so we see the coordinates of suspicious activity."

"JohnWillStab: Don't you see the person's name?!"

"Pandors_T_T: we know you can change your name! And it just shows up a ???."

Meanwhile, Bonifacius walked out from the town, he turned in the quest receiving boar-hide gloves which he was eager to tell John about.

"Bonifacius: JohnWillStab, thou will not believe what I hath just seen - all the town guards are dead!"

"Bonifacius: Art thou here, JohnWillStab?"

He looked around seeing that John was nowhere to be seen, he opened a private chat window and wrote to JohnWillStab,

"Bonifacius: Have thou left the server."

Seeing the private chat window open, John replied.

"JohnWillStab: No some guys made my character pass out and are carting me off..."

"Bonifacius: What?! Have thou done anything?"

"JohnWillStab: No, they think I'm some cheater!"

"Bonifacius: That does explain the slain guards... it would appear the JGuardian guild have taken thee, I shall track thee down!"

"JohnWillStab: Nah, it's alright - these guys look pretty tough, I don't want you getting into some trouble with these big important guys..."

"Bonifacius: NONSENSE! I have been waiting for a challenging match outside of a raid or dungeon! THIS SHALL BE OUR FIRST GREAT ADVENTURE!"

"JohnWillStab: k, look out for the cheater though, she had a crown picture for a name."

"Bonifacius: Yes I shall! Press the “M” button to activate the map and enable the “party sharing” feature!"

John clicked the 'M' key, before him appeared a map of the zone he was in, a little red dot symbolised his location, he clicked the 'party sharing' button.

“Are you sure? This will allow party members to see your location and you to see their location”

He clicked yes.

Next to the image of the town from before appeared a little blue dot, when John hovered his cursor over it caused the name 'Bonifacius' to appear.

He saw his red dot moving a few pixels every second, despite this the cart was moving a lot faster than his running speed.

He looked back at the map seeing that Bonifacius was moving about four times their speed, furthermore, he was running towards them in a straight line, not following the road, not avoiding forests, nope.