JohnWillStab sat in the centre of the small town, about a dozen homes, each one inhabited by demons, three players, the rest NPCs.

"Eambr, I know we're in a tough situation... but I hoped we didn't have to resort to cannibalism just yet..." said one of the panicked villagers.

"We're not eating them! I got them to help us figure out how to get food!" Eambr clarified.

"Hey..." JohnWillStab offered an awkward greeting.

"O-oh! My apologies! We weren't going to... y'know..." the glasses-wearing demon apologised.

"Don't worry, we were going to eat your friend too." JohnWillStab shrugged.

"That's a relief.... wait, what?!"

"Anyway! Let's get straight to food-making!" JohnWillStab began.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Eambr.

"But first..." he looked around.

"I want to see these desert mounts," he said looking at the demons.

"Desert... mounts?" asked the demon in glasses.

Everyone turned to face Eambr.

"Oooohh.... yeah about that..." she began.

JohnWillStab did a one-eighty and began walking away.

"Let's go, guys, we've got a few more hours of nighttime to get somewhere to wait the day out." he sighed.

"Yeah." Jordan agreed following him.

"WAIT! DON'T LEAVE! We may not have mounts but we have..." she looked around and back to them... "We may not have mounts..."

JohnWillStab looked at her expectingly.

"..."

"..."

"But?"

"Nothing. We don't have mounts." she smiled innocently.

JohnWillStab kept walking, dragging the snivelling demon behind him.

"Come on, have a heart! We're starving!"

"I don't care!" he barked.

"We don't have food, water, we don't have enough houses..." she continued to list off problems.

"Go call the UN or something, I'm busy trying to get out of this God-forsaken sandpit!" he called out.

Suddenly Alex got an idea.

"Hey, you want a water bottle?" asked Alex.

"A water bottle? Sure every bit helps!" Alex tossed a of bottle liquid away into the sands.

"Water!" she let go of JohnWillStab and ran after the bottle.

"You gave her a water bottle?" asked John surprised by Alex's generosity.

"No, that's the piss bottle Jordan had in his pocket ever since the slime fight," Alex said picking up his pace as he started running.

"WHAT!?"

"Why'd you keep it?!" JonhWillStab demanded also breaking into a sprint after Alex.

"I thought it could come in handy!" he exclaimed in his defence before he too started running.

"Wait? What is this... it smells like..."

A loud sound of glass breaking was heard in the distance as a loud cry erupted.

"YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!"

"Sometimes, I seriously doubt if we're the good guys!" Jordan exclaimed.

"I never said we're the good guys!" John replied.

JohnWillStab looked back expecting the demon to be in pursuit, but instead saw a sad-looking girl sitting on the ground next to the wall of one of their houses covered in a large piss stain and shattered glass,

"FUCK!" JohnWillStab called out, standing still, his two companions also stopped and looked at him.

"What's up?" asked Alex.

"I kind of feel bad..." he sighed.

"I get you... but we can't do anything for them... can we?" asked Jordan.

"Yeah, it was their fault for being stupid and moving into the heart of the desert," Alex exclaimed.

"...I know... but I think I have a plan." JohnWillStab said turning back to the town where a few of the villagers started going back into their homes.

The white-haired demon remained in the same position, sitting grossly close to the piss.

"God damn my niceness... I hope I can find a potion for that too!" he said before angrily stomping his way towards the town.

As he moved towards the town, Eambr turned to look at him but didn't say anything.

"Alright, listen up you fuck-faces! I have decided to use my volume's worth of compassion on your town!" he exclaimed.

"Grab as much shit as you can carry and meet me back here in ten minutes," he demanded.

"Look! I appreciate the help! But you can't just order us around!" exclaimed one of the demons in the village.

"Alright, fair enough." JohnWillStab shrugged looking less tense instantly.

"You have no clue how much better I feel now that it's you that's responsible for the murder slash suicide of everyone in this town."

John breathed a sigh of relief.

"...you said ten minutes?" asked the demon.

"Yeah," John nodded.

The demon scurried off and started sticking things into his bag.

Ten minutes later...

"Alright, so as far as I understand, you, demons don't need water to survive... so you completely forgot agriculture and hygiene and decided to move to a place entirely made of sand with no intentions of trade, not that you'd have anything to trade!" John continued.

"In other words, your town's food production is zero instead of the minimum of one... and your surrounding tiles are shit too..."

JohnWillStab began walking.

"Let's go! We don't have all night!" he exclaimed.

"Are you taking them to the lake?" asked Alex.

"I guess that's the only tile that produces food." John shrugged.

"...tile?" he asked.

JohnWillStab's eyes widened as he let out a sigh.

"I let my inner strategist out again..." he sighed.

"Is that bad?" asked Jordan with a raised eyebrow and a slight chuckle.

"I mean, last time I took over all of Arlepia..." John said carelessly.

"YOU WHAT!?" he demanded.

"Yeah, I wanted to keep it on the down-low, but since you and I are probably going to die in the desert I thought I'd let you know," John replied.

"...how'd you do that?!" demanded Jordan.

"I mind-controlled... a lot of players and made them serve as my army," he explained.

"I imagine a lot of players are salty about it." JohnWillStab sighed crossing his arms behind his head.

"YOU THINK!?"

Jordan lit a cigarette and let out a sigh.

"I guess we're travelling with a wanted man, right, Alex?" he asked turning to Alex wore an awkward smile on his face.

"What's the look about?" Jordan asked.

"I mean... I may have kind of... a little bit...-" Alex was stumbling over his words so JohnWillStab spoke for him "He deleted this game and made us play some other game." JohnWillStab explained.

"Well, it'd be more accurate to say I hijacked the game and changed its data to resemble the game of my dreams!" Alex explained.

"WHO EXACTLY ARE YOU PEOPLE!?" Jordan demanded.

"I'm JohnWillStab," said JohnWillStab.

"...so your girl name is... JaneWillStab... but your guy name is JohnWillStab?" asked Jordan.

"Exactly," replied John with a nod.

"Alright... and you are Alexander... but your under-cover name is Elplorr? But you go by Alex?!" demanded Jordan.

"Yup."

"So you two are like... super wanted..." Jordan asked.

"Probably." they both replied in unison.

"I have a feeling this is going to come back and bite us in the ass..." sighed Jordan.

"Probably." they both replied in unison once again.

"So, do you think you could use the mind-control ability again?" asked Jordan looking over to John.

"I don't know... I think I shouldn't... I have a bit of a track record of slight megalomaniac tendencies..." he explained.

"Man, it's so nice to be able to say John instead of Jane..." JohnWillStab breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, any more secrets you'd like to tell me?" Jordan asked jokingly.

"Hmmm... I'm undead." he finally said.

"Un-dead? Like... not-dead? I guess so."

"No, no, like... a zombie," explained JohnWillStab.

"Wait a minute! That's why you never drink water or sleep!" Jordan exclaimed.

"That's right, it wasn't the vitamins..."

"I knew that much..." Jordan replied wryly.

"So yeah, I have infinite stamina, I don't get hungry, don't need to sleep, I don't even need to piss," he explained.

"Damn..." Jordan remarked.

"It's very handy," John replied.

"I just kind of wish I got my dick back." he sighed.

"Yeah, why are you a woman anyway?" Jordan asked.

"So... long story short... I lost my dick in a real-world accident... so when I got isekaid... I guess the game assumed I'm a woman."

"Seeing as they typically are dickless," John clarified.

"Yes, I know," Jordan replied.

"I'm hoping this alchemist in the south can make a potion to cure my dicklessness..." he sighed.

"Do you think they have a dick-returning potion in this world?" asked Alex.

"Knowing this game... absolutely."