"This is a stupid idea! You are both asking to be killed!" exclaimed the spider following the cat and dog at a considerable distance.

The dog walked in the lead and the cat followed.

"Honestly, I agree - but our feline friend doesn't seem like someone you could talk out of going..." laughed the dog.

"You hear that, cat! You're dragging Borknificus out to his death!" the spider exclaimed.

"He's going off his own free will, dumbass spider..." hissed Arachnophobia.

"That's not true, Webby... I for one wanted the bird dead for a while! I've been here for years, and I've lost more friends than I can count..." replied the dog.

"I think it might be time to end the bird!" exclaimed Borknificus.

"You two are crazy!" exclaimed the spider.

"This is why I hate spiders..." sighed Arachnophobia.

"Calm down! Webby is a very helpful member of the island!" exclaimed the dog.

The group walked a while longer in complete silence.

"Where are we going, anyway?" asked Arachnophobia.

"The nest of bones, it's a small pile of bones and other remains in which the bird stays."

"Are you seriously going to just ask the bird to fly you over to your owner?!" demanded the spider once more.

"Yes! That's the plan!" Arachnophobia yelled back.

"IF WE COULD NEGOTIATE WITH THE BIRD, WE WOULDN'T BE HIDING IN THE FUCKING FOREST, WOULD WE?!" demanded the spider.

"Both of you! Calm down!" exclaimed Borknificus.

"I don't think talking to the bird would do much, but perhaps... perhaps defeating it would let us think of another plan!" suggested the dog.

"What do you mean?" asked Arachnophobia.

"A boat!" the dog exclaimed.

"We could leave this island on a boat! An ark!" exclaimed the dog.

The spider raised all eight eyebrows.

"Seriously? A boat? We're animals, how do we make a boat?!" demanded the spider.

"Goatexperiment will chop the wood, you can stitch a sail, I can row!" exclaimed the dog.

"We don't need to make it far! The coast of Ajuan is just half a day north from here by rowboat!" he added.

"...that might work..." Arachnophobia said.

"Alright! Fine... maybe it could work, but we still can't kill the bird!" the spider argued.

"It's been years! I've been stranded here as a puppy, maybe I'll finally get to see my master again!" Borknificus exclaimed.

"Are you going to bite them to death?" asked Arachnophobia.

"Bite them? What'd I do that?" asked the dog giving Arachnophobia a weird look.

"Dogs..." both Arachnophobia and Webby sighed in unison.

And so they continued their quest, a dog, a cat and a spider, heading through the massive jungle island, on their way to the massive hill of bleached bones visible from almost everywhere on the island.

Eventually, the sun began to set and a massive cloud of rain made its way over the island.

The trio found shelter under a small wooden crate, it was empty and served as nothing more than a reminder of how the game once placed crates and barrels around the world at random.

Arachnophobia lay on the ground with her arms folded, staring off into space.

Borknificus sat looking at the pitter-patter of rain while Webby desperately clung to the underside of the crate.

"I didn't expect it to rain today..." said the dog.

"I don't mind too terribly, I guess I'll get some sleep," replied the cat.

"God I hate the rain... one drop and I'm screwed!"

Arachnophobia looked at the spider, he was about the size of a large fist... one drop would almost certainly not affect him.

"Right..."

"So, do any of you actually know what the monster's lair actually looks like?" asked Arachnophobia.

"No..." replied the spider.

"Yes." replied the dog.

Both the cat and spider looked at him, beckoning him to continue.

"Well... I only know this from one of my friends, when I first came here, a big bulldog and a tabby cat teamed up to go kill the bird,"

"I was barely able to survive the fight, my friends weren't as lucky..."

"But I was able to see the base, a deep pit of bones, inside dozens of bones forming spikes, like an antlion pit!" explained Borknificus.

"I wonder if their bones are still in the pile..." thought Arachnophobia.

"Wait, you've been here that long and you're still wearing that collar?!" asked Arachnophobia.

"It's a bit tight... but how else will my owner recognise me after so many years when he finds me?" asked the dog.

The collar was red with a small golden nametag, it read: "Borknificus"

"Right..." she replied.

"Anyway! I'm finally ready to beat the crap out of that bird!" exclaimed the dog.

"Huh... well, I do have a plan if you'd like to hear it..." Arachnophobia began.

"A plan?" asked the dog.

"Usually, my dumbass owner would take care of the planning, but I suppose I'll give it a shot..." Arachnophobia sighed.

"The dog and I will distract the bird, the spider will make a net around the hole with the bone spikes."

"Once the bird returns home it'll get tangled up on its way down and it'll fall down to its death at the hands of its own bone-spikes." she offered.

"That's... genius!" exclaimed the dog.

"There's no way I can make a web thick enough in such a short amount of time!" the spider argued.

"How much time do you need?" asked Arachnophobia.

"At least ten minutes!" he exclaimed.

Arachnophobia and the dog gave each other a grim look.

"I guess we might be able to pull it off..." she sighed.

"The bird is pretty stupid, right?" she asked.

"Yeah..." replied the other two.

She looked around and from a nearby bush grabbed a berry before crushing it and wiping it on Borknificus.

"It's less likely to lose interest if it thinks you're wounded!" she exclaimed, the red-berry looking surprisingly like blood.

"How do you come up with this stuff?!" exclaimed Borknificus running over to the bush and collecting more berries.

"With any luck, we'll reach the bird in two hours after it stops raining!" exclaimed Borknificus.

"If you think the bird is about to catch you, here's what you'll do..." began Arachnophobia gesturing towards the puddle.

The next morning...

The group continued walking through the quickly drying forest.

As they reached the clearing in the forest, they could see it, the towering mountain of bones, shells, dried-up insects and random junk from around the island.

"Remember the plan guys!" Arachnophobia said quietly so as to not wake the bird which she assumed slept within its nest.

"Right!" replied the dog, his tail wagging at the idea of finally defeating the bird that tormented him for years.

"I can't believe we're doing this..." said the spider, he sounded borderline hysterical.

"Go, dog!" exclaimed Arachnophobia.

Borknificus ran out barking as loud as he could.

"BARK! BARK! COME GET ME YOU IDIOT BIRD! BARK!"

A loud screech echoed as above them circled the bird.

Its appearance as fowl as ever.

It flew down at the dog as Arachnophobia dashed towards the hole with the spider on her back, she dropped him off by the pit and waited amidst the bones for a sign from the dog.

Borknificus ran, dodging every attack, the bird dived in after him but each time it landed in the dirt.

"BARK! LOOK AT ME! BARK! I'M ALL COVERED IN BLOOD! COME EAT ME!" laughed the dog.

Once more the bird went after him, this time its aim wasn't off and Borknificus couldn't dodge the hit to the side.

He fell down, the bird flew past him but immediately turned back and surprised to find him suddenly missing.

"Where did the dog go?" thought the bird.

As a matter of fact, the dog didn't go anywhere.

Last night...

"If you think the bird is about to get you, just lay flat on your left side." instructed the cat.

"What? Why?" asked the dog.

"Because your left side is going to be slathered in mud, so the bird won't be able to tell it apart from the muddy ground!" exclaimed Arachnophobia gesturing towards the puddle.

Present time...

"MEOW! MEOW! CAT NOISES!" Arachnophobia called out as she ran in the opposite direction to Borknificus.

They continued this routine until they heard it.

"IT'S DONE!" called out the spider who now hid in the forest.

Arachnophobia dashed into the forest with Borknificus.

As expected the bird flew up, circling the area in search of the dog or cat before swooping down into its nest.

As it flew it got tangled in the web and became stuck, suspended above the hole.

"SHIT! IT DIDN'T FALL INSIDE!" exclaimed Arachnophobia.

"All this work for nothing!" she thought.

"We'll try again tom-" she was cut off by the loud sound of wet splashing as Borknificus ran through the mud.

"IT'S NOT TOO LATE, YET!" he exclaimed.

"I'LL BITE THE WEB OFF!" he cried running towards the pit.

"That idiot!" Arachnophobia ran after him.

She began scratching the web, breaking it bit by bit as the bird flailed around, trying to break free from its bindings.

As Arachnophobia was finishing off clawing the last string holding the bird up she heard the spider call out from behind.

"CAT! LOOK UP!"

She looked up and saw the bird was already free, the remaining lines of string tangling around its feet but not stopping its flight.

It swooped down towards her.

"Well, shit..."

"I guess John fucks up all the time too..."

"Hey, maybe I'll respawn as a ghost cat, eh?"

From the side ran Borknificus leaping at the monster and stabbing into its neck once more, once more the bird began to thrash around in the air, as it began to tangle itself up in its own web.

Borknificus jumped away from the bird, kicking it into the hole as it slowly fell to its doom and the dog landed safely on the ground.

"We did it!" he said, looking up seeing the horrified look on both Arachnophobia and Webby.

He didn't notice it yet but he was already slipping back into the hole, he was tangled up with the bird.

Before anyone could react, Borknificus dug his claws into the muddy soil to no avail.

"Dog!" Arachnophobia called out biting onto Borknificus by his collar and trying to pull him up.

"I guess I won't be able to get on that ark after all..." he said as his collar opened and his paws slipped before both he and the bird fell down to the hole,

With one last fuck-you to the bird, Borknificus bit its throat as he fell, before both of their hearts were pierced with the same spike of bone.