《Binary Progression》Volume 4 - Chapter 35: Stupid questions.
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Four days remain until the raid in Mournwood…
JohnWillStab was still getting his ass beat by XPhaxX in preparation for the raid, the Thief continued practising knife-throwing as well as her illusionist class skills.
Much like John, she went for an edgy-stabby class build, but unlike John, she decided that a stabby-ninja should be able to hide and sneak around, thus her choice of the illusionist class.
Much to her disappointment, the spells weren't exactly ninja-esq.
After John got his ass beat for the fifth time, he took a break while XPhaxX went to get something to drink.
He walked over to the tree beside which stood the Thief.
"How's your magic training?" asked John.
She gave him an exhausted glance.
"Well… I've… overestimated the usefulness of the illusionist class," she replied with a sigh.
"What do you mean?" asked John confused, he imagined the class to be full of invisibility skills, traps and illusions.
She reached into her sleeve and pulled out a live rabbit.
"…" she looked at John with a defeated look.
She snapped her fingers and the rabbit exploded into a puff of smoke.
"I mean… that could have some… combat applications…" John said uncertainly.
"Check behind your ear…" she said, John did as instructed and pulled out a full-sized, white rabbit.
"How…-?"
The rabbit exploded in a puff of smoke.
"…can … can you do anything else?" asked John.
"I can turn invisible!" she exclaimed.
"Really?"
"Yeah!" she stood up ready for the demonstration.
"Invisibility!"
John looked at her awkwardly.
He began to clap awkwardly.
"Oh, yeah… good one!"
"I KNOW YOU CAN SEE ME!"
"You're like… fifty-percent see-through," John remarked.
"Yeah, I can play a ghost that can summon rabbits…" she sighed.
Meanwhile…
Bromy, Bonifacius and Jordan were tasked with making sure Levelgreen was officially allying with the jGuardians, after that they moved onto a small town allegedly to the east of Levelgreen, it was called Cliffside-Respite.
"I really didn't expect Levelgreen to just go with it…" Bromy remarked.
"True, while I trusted they would give the subject some thought, I have never expected them to just agree!" Bonifacius exclaimed.
Jordan didn't comment.
"Why are you so quiet, curly-hair-guy?" asked Bromy beckoning him to join the conversation.
"Hm? I just didn't have anything to add," Jordan replied.
"Come now! Thou can be at ease! We are all partners in the L.F.T.O!" Bonifacius exclaimed.
Jordan cracked a smile.
"Right."
"In any case, it looks like Cliffside-Respite is over there," Bromy said pointing into the distance where a wooden palisade stood tall.
"DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!" a voice called out from inside the town.
Upon hearing this the entire group stopped walking, Bonifacius stepped forward and began to talk.
"Greetings! We are representatives of the jGuardians here with a proposal!" he exclaimed proudly.
"I HAVE ENOUGH OF YOU PEOPLE! GO AWAY!" exclaimed the person from inside the palisade.
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Bonifacius looked over to Jordan and Bromy.
Bromy stepped up instead.
"We want to set up a form of government, we're annexing everyone in the Rolling Plains, I'm sure you'll be better off joining us…" Bromy exclaimed.
Everything went silent for a while, they assumed the person inside the town was thinking over the suggestion, or perhaps talking to another villager about it.
Moments later the voice spoke up again.
"Alright… if you promise… I'll let you in…" they said.
"Promise what?!" thought Bromy.
Bromy, Bony and Jordan began walking towards the town.
When they entered through the gates they were surprised to find the entire town deserted, a tall watchtower stood in the centre, from it descended a man clad in leather, shoulder pads, gloves, boots, trousers and even a vest.
His hair was grass-green, it was long and tangled.
A psychotic look constantly on his face as he emerged from inside the watchtower.
"Y-you guys are from the jGuardians?" asked the man, his eyes darted around the town frantically.
"Yeah… are you alright?" asked Bromy.
"Yes, yes, of course!" he began to laugh loudly.
"HA HA HA HAH AH HA HAHAHAH AHAHAHHA HAHAH"
Bromy looked over to Bonifacius who shrugged.
"Hey, does anybody else live here?" asked Bromy.
"Maybe someone with less LSD in their system?" he added.
"Hm?" the green-haired man's face snapped towards Bromy.
"That's right! I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Plsupp!" the man exclaimed.
"Tis a weird name even by our standards…" Bonifacius thought as he extended his hand forward.
Plsupp looked towards Bonifacius.
"I am Bonifacius!"
Hesitantly Plsupp returned the handshake.
"Plsupp?… sounds familiar…" Bromy remarked.
Plsupp snapped towards Bromy.
"Does it?! No, it doesn't!" Plsupp went from curious to upset in under a second.
Plsupp put on a collected, serious voice.
"Anyway… follow me… we can discuss the alliance between our factions…" he said.
He began heading towards what looked like the inn of this town, except its windows were blocked and it was pitch black inside.
"Alliance?! I know this is asking the obvious... but is this man actually insane?!" thought Jordan as they followed Plsupp into the large wooden building.
"Why is it so dark in here?" asked Bromy as the door behind them closed enveloping them in darkness.
"JUST one... second..." Plsupp said as his footsteps led away from group, a few seconds later light entered the room when he opened one of the windows.
"What the-?!" exclaimed Bonifacius realising he was standing in a metal cage.
Bromy and Jordan found themselves in the same predicament.
They tried shaking and bashing on the metal bars to no avail.
"When did he trap us, I never heard of felt anything!"
"What the hell!? Why are you doing this?!" demanded Jordan.
"..." Bromy scratched his head.
"I definitely remember a Plsupp..." he thought trying his best to remember their foe.
"Bonifacius... I remember who he is now..." Bromy said mouth-agape.
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Bonifacius and Joran shifted to look at Bromy.
"Plsupp... Player-Support... the little avatar that would pop up on your screen when you needed help with something!" he exclaimed.
"HELP!? YOU RETARDS NEED HELP ALRIGHT, BUT IT'S NOT THE KIND I CAN OFFER!" he exclaimed tearfully.
"Oh, my items disappeared while I left my character AFK (away from keyboard) while I go take a piss and MAGICALLY my items disappeared FOR NO POSSIBLE REASON!"
He whispered the definition of AFK quietly before running up to Bromy's cage and shaking it violently.
"TELL ME, WHY COULD YOUR ITEMS DISAPPEAR IN SUCH A SCENARIO?!" he demanded.
Bromy raised his eyebrows.
"Because someone stole th-" Bromy was cut off but the NPC.
"BECAUSE SOMEONE FUCKING STOLE THEM!" he cried in a high-pitched tone.
"TELL ME, BONIFACIUS, WHY IS IT THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW THE RECIPE FOR A LEATHER COAT WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE THE LEATHERWORKING SKILL!?" he demanded.
Bonifacius turned red, he specifically remembered writing that support ticket, though in his defence, he was very new to the game back then.
"Messages upon messages upon messages!" he cried.
"I'm surprised you managed to BREATH back where you're from because that's a FUCKING MIRACLE!"
He fell down and hugged the floor as he tearfully spoke "Would a single thank-you kill any of you monsters?! Would a please cause your years of trauma?!" demanded the NPC.
He placed the tips of his fingers in his mouth as he let out a guttural scream, a small trickle of blood ran down his hand from the damaged fingers.
"I wanted to help... I really did..." he finally said.
"After the admins left, one spiteful admin disabled me so the players would be forced to quit the game as a final FUCK YOU to the devs, I was forced to sit and read over your STUPID FUCKING MESSAGES!"
"Why capture us then?!" asked Jordan.
"I can't look at a player without every fibre of my being existing in a constant state of agony!"
"It's as if a million toothaches fueled with rage burned within me,"
Bromy looked at Bonifacius and gave him a slight nod.
Bonifacius spoke up, "So does thou plan to slay us all?" asked Bonifacius.
"Surely thou knows thou will succumb to our numbers!"
The NPC's eyes widened.
"I... don't care..."
He crawled on all fours towards Bonifacius.
"An eternal silence is bliss... but every fibre in this body wants to gut you all...IT'S A WIN-WIN FOR ME!" he laughed.
That was when Bonifacius noticed the room was previously dark for a reason.
Dozens of bodies lay piled in the corners of the room, piles upon piles, Bonifacius didn't see any repeats, meaning he probably couldn't destroy their souls and could only torture people to death.
"So what's your plan, torture us to death so we choose not to respawn?" asked Bromy.
"BINGO!" said the NPC, his fingers twitched and writhed like worms.
He reached into his coat.
"I'll have you know one of my victims lasted up to a week... he died this morning, at least I think so, I wish I could have seen his face when you arrived... well, what's left of his face..." the NPC said sombrely.
He pulled up one of the floorboards and revealed a dozen tools from around the town, scissors, knives, spoons, kettles, lamps and most importantly a skinning knife.
"Just for you Bonifacius, I've started practising the skinning skill... oh, and the recipe for a leather cloak is twelve leather scraps and common thread or sinew..." the NPC exclaimed.
A silence occurred.
"I hope thou doesn't expect a single word of gratitude from me after what thou has done?" Bonifacius asked.
Jordan aimed his staff at the NPC who looked back to him with a smug smile.
"I wouldn't use fire in the little wooden hut if I were you..." he replied.
The NPC wiped the skinning knife on his trouser leg and began making his way up to Bonifacius.
"Which part should I take... just for you, I'll make you a cloak!"
Bonifacius noticed his leather clothes weren't made from normal leather.
He performed a master charge only for the cage to absorb all the force of the attack.
"Enchanted cages?!" exclaimed Bonifacius as his foe drew nearer.
"Of course! How did you think I got you all trapped without you noticing!?" laughed the NPC
Bromy spoke up.
"Hello, Curstl? Yeah - Bonifacius is kind of in the middle of getting tortured by some creepy NPC, you might wanna drop by," Bromy said.
Plsupp turned to Bromy and let out an angry cry.
"NO! HOW COULD YOU!?" he demanded.
Moments later Plsupp cracked a smile before bursting into laughter.
"Just kidding... I know I enchanted these cages to block messages of any sort...
"I was just buying time..." Bromy replied smugly.
"Buying time? For what?" asked the NPC looking around.
Suddenly he was met with a blunt strike to the back of his head.
Plsupp fell to the ground unconscious as behind him, wielding a mace stood the blood-soaked Boopnsnootn,
As soon as Plsupp passed out the cages turned into regular brittle metal through which Bonifacius would break out of effortlessly.
Bonifacius released his two party members before they turned to the newly released human, he was dressed in a robe, blood-red hair and a slight tan.
"Nice work, I thought you might have legged it as soon as I healed you..." Bromy remarked.
Jordan glanced down to Bromy's feet where he saw a long root sprouting from between the floorboards and towards Boopnsnootn.
"I didn't stay alive this long to be a coward... thanks for healing my face back to normal by the way..." he sighed before he too passed out.
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