Bonifacius returned to the base and explained the situation to JohnWillStab.

While they waited for Curstl to finish up her review of John’s proposal all the members of the guild were hanging around outside the base.

“Anyway, I ran into this one guy, XPhax was his name,” Pedecree was telling people the tales of his journeys.

The sun was out and the sky was clear in the desert zone they lived in.

“He kept telling me these… terrible jokes… I ignored him for the rest of the journey…”

He was finishing lighting the fire in the large metal contraption he brought on his cart, it was a BBQ grill.

He specifically brought meats from all over the world, from the surprisingly violent snow rabbits of Kearudown to the sand-snakes of Ajuan.

“I’M HERE, YOU KNOW!” XPhax exclaimed standing behind him, he was holding a cup of the jGuardian cherry-apple drink.

“I think his psyche went into self-defence mode after hearing XPhax’s terrible jokes…” JohnWillStab speculated.

“Et tu, John?” XPhax cried.

“I mean, maybe you should just… consider a different career?” John offered.

“I mean, you’re probably the best blacksmith in this world, you’re a great swordsman, why not do one of those?!” John asked.

“Tch, aren’t isekais all about doing what you want!?” he demanded.

“Well, did you ever see Kir*to going around telling people crappy puns?!” John demanded.

Foxly and Crown were sitting around the pool.

“These people are just looking for an excuse to get drunk at this point…” Crown remarked with a look of undisguised disappointment.

Foxly shrugged.

“I mean, I’m not here to get drunk!” Foxly remarked.

“True, but you can’t get drunks, you’re undead…” Crown reminded him.

“Oh, that’s right, I died that one time!” Foxly exclaimed with a look of surprise.

“How’d you manage to forget?!” Crown demanded.

“Well, I mean I still get tired… just… rarely…” Foxly scratched his head.

“I guess undeath isn’t that bad…well, this is like… diet-undeath” he remarked.

Bromy was looking sleep-deprived as ever, sitting on a chair outside, no matter where he moved his chair the smoke from the BBQ flew at him specifically.

Eventually, he just gave up and sat in the smoke’s path.

Bonifacius and Alex were bringing cutlery and dishes out from the kitchen for everyone.

The Thief and Revenberry were in the middle of a game of checkers.

“HOW DO YOU KEEP WINNING!?” Revenberry demanded.

“I’m just lucky!”

Malagmus who now inhabited the storage shed as compensation for helping with the still unfinsihed skeleton issue was desperately trying to fit in in hopes of also receiving food.

Suddenly, from the sky descended a figure.

Slowly he landed on the grass in the L.F.T.O base.

In an attempt to look divine and mysterious, the man struck a dramatic pose, looking up towards the sky.

“Greetings, mortals!” he announced

“I have come to request an offering as your god!” he announced.

When nobody replied, Lorb gave up on the pose and realised he was barely even acknowledged.

“H-Hey! Guys!” Malagmus exclaimed uncertainly.

“What is it?” asked Bromy coughing up a puff of BBQ smoke.

“I-If he’s getting food, then I’m getting some too, right?!” he demanded.

“THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE CONCERNED ABOUT?!” Lorb thought.

Bromy wiped the soot from his glasses and turned to face Lorb.

“Oh, it’s you…” he yawned.

Lorb breathed a sigh.

“You know… I like hanging out with you guys because you don’t make this whole god thing into a big deal, but… now I just feel like an outcast…” he sighed.

“Indeed, thou have become… a part of the norm by now…” Bonifacius remarked handing him an empty plate.

“The food shall be done soon,”

Lorb has been appearing around the base for several days already.

Two days ago…

Foxly entered the L.F.T.O toilet, they had three bathrooms in total, however one was in Bromy’s basement.

He entered one of the three stalls and finished his business.

He looked over to the toilet paper holder and suffered a mini-heart attack when he saw there was no toilet paper.

“What do I do?!” he thought.

“There isn’t even and actual cardboard roll I could use…”

He began to sweat.

Foxly scratched his chin.

“Maybe I should call for someone? N-no… that’d be embarrassing…”

Foxly leaned back on the toilet.

“Where did I go wrong?” he thought.

“Maybe I should kill myself?” he thought.

“I’d respawn with a clean ass, right?”

His face lit up.

“That’s it, I’ll kill myself, then I’ll come back here and-…” he didn’t know what to do next.

“What then?”

“The body won’t despawn since there are always people around here… I’d have to bring it out!”

“But then I’d have to carry a dirty-assed corpse…”

“Or wipe my corpses ass! … but that’s pretty weird…”

“I could always perma-die…” he thought.

In a moment of desperation, Foxly clasped his hands together.

“Look, god… I know we’re not exactly on great terms here, I mean you’re the dickhead who let this situation happen, but if you bring me some paper, I’ll forgive you!” Foxly offered internally.

After a few seconds of silence, he breathed a sigh.

“It was worth a try…”

He opened his eyes and saw Lorb crawling under the stall door with two rolls of toilet paper in each hand, maintaining eye contact with Foxly while grinning widely.

“I HAVE HEARD YOUR PRAYERS AND CAME TO ANSWER!” Lorb cried.

A loud, high-pitched scream could be heard throughout the L.F.T.O base.

Presently…

“Yeah, alright, that was my bad… but he did ask for toilet paper,” Lorb replied.

“YOU TRAUMATISED ME, MAN!” Foxly cried.

“Yeah, yeah, but you got the toilet paper!” Lorb exclaimed, “Right?” Lorb looked around hoping to spot at least one person giving him any sign of approval.

Bromy fell out of his chair, the slight breeze knocking his smoke-filled corpse to the ground as the now respawned Bromy left the base wearing a gas mask, he used a druid spell to have the corpse buried as he sat down on his chair once more.

Malagmus stood over the BBQ now.

“Why not just… hand him the paper under the stall?” asked John.

“W-well, how do I know it’s really him, then?” asked Lorb, now blushing and averting his gaze.

“Can’t you like… see through the stall door?” asked John.

“Come now, there is no need to be embarrassed, I created these bodies you inhabit!” he exclaimed looking at all the people around him.

Everyone shot him weird looks except for Bromy who didn’t seem particularly phased by the statement.

“Why did the self-proclaimed god of this world have to be a pervert…?” Crown wondered out-loud.

“Hold on, how am I a pervert?!” Lorb demanded looking over to her.

“YOU BROKE INTO MY TOILET STALL!” Foxly cried.

“TO GIVE YOU TOILET PAPER!” Lorb retorted.

After losing her fifth game, Revenberry walked over to the table near the BBQ to get a drink.

“Can’t you appear in more normal places?” she asked glancing over to Lorb.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

Three days ago…

Revenberry stood in the kitchen holding a piece of paper in her hands.

“Let’s see…”

“Add some oil…” read the first instruction.

Revenberry grabbed a stick of butter and dropped it to the bottom of the pot.

“Two large peteroot…” she read the items out-loud.

“…”

“Also known as an onion in on earth…” Revenberry pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Then why not call it an onion?!”

She was trying to follow Pedecree’s recipe for stew, he was gone for a few days already.

She dropped two whole onions into the massive pot before reading the next part of the recipe.

“Two aberpuffs…”

Revenberry raised her eyebrows upon reading the name of the food out-loud.

“Also known as the red things!”

“…”

She glanced over to the table with all the food she could find in the pantry.

Tomatoes, no less than five different red berries, bell peppers, red apples.

“DO YOU KNOW HOW LITTLE ‘red things’ NARROW IT DOWN!?” she demanded picking a handful of items off the table and throwing them into the pot.

She wasn’t a great chef, but the instructions weren’t helping.

She read the next entry in the recipe.

“A full Cinderrod,”

In brackets, it read “Long and Christmassy~”

“A FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREE!?” Revenberry demanded.

She looked around seeing the only ‘long’ vegetable she had, a stick of celery.

She tossed the celery in the pot.

Revenberry was about read out the next entry when she realised, she couldn’t.

“Wasxvzzbyk…”

“…”

“…”

“Did Pedecree have a stroke?!”

In brackets, it read “Leaf of green in a cluster one can eat raw”

“…”

“…”

Silently, Revenberry grabbed a head of lettuce and threw it into the pot.

She looked at the next step.

“Add meat,”

“What kind?!”

She looked down into the brackets.

“Raw”

“WOW, THANKS! she threw the booklet away.

Revenberry began using magic to pour water into the pot, once it was full, she lit a fire under it and began cleaning the mess she made.

After a few hours, she checked on the soup again, it looked very watery.

“Did I forget to add something?” she though seeing the whole onion float on the surface of the soup.

She grabbed a spoon and tried some of her soup.

After tasting it let out a sigh.

“Yep… just hot water…”

She walked over to the chair in the kitchen and sat down.

With a look of defeat, she asked out-loud: “God… what did I do wrong?!”

Suddenly, she heard a loud splashing sound come from the cauldron.

Slowly, a head emerged from the bubbling liquid.

“I HAVE HEARD YOUR PRAYERS AND HAVE COME!” Lorb announced.

“…”

“…”

Lorb cupped his hands and drank some of the soup.

“I’d add some salt!”

“Get the fuck out of my soup!” she exclaimed before assaulting Lorb with a wooden spoon.

Presently…

Lorb breathed a sigh.

“Alright, I get what you mean… the soup was a strange place to appear from,” he replied.

“Ya think?!” Revenberry demanded.

“But I didn’t do it on purpose!” he said in his defence.

“You see, the coordinates at which I spawn are random, so y’know…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

Everyone went quiet.

“So... about that offering…” Lorb began.

“The burgers will be done in a few minutes, you’ll have to wait a bit longer for the steak,” Pedecree replied breaking the silence.