Managing expectations was an important part of daily life. They needed to be set in such a way that one could not be surprised if the results are high, while also not being disappointed if the results are low. It was a middle ground, where both outcomes were expected, no matter what was going on. Things always had the chance of radically shifting sides. The future was never set in stone.

The plan of guessing the mean was not always the best. Wait, no, scratch that. In almost every instance, it was the worst thing to ever do. Reality did not do in-betweens. It was not something that would agree in the middle. It was either-or. Two sides, so far from each other that the middle simply did not exist in any quantifiable manner. In the years that Troy had used this method, there had never been a single time where it had ever truly worked.

Although, in the year prior to adopting this method, the young man could not say that the consequences of his choice had been much better. They had certainly made his mind gather something other than surprise and disappointment, but calling the feeling better or worse would not be possible.

Before trying to turn himself into a better person, Troy had been a follower of apathy. To put that in simple terms, he had not expected anything from anyone, for doing that would only lead to unwanted negativity. If he had no expectations, he would not be disappointed at any time. Instead, he would plainly go with whatever happened, like he could not give a single damn if it was worth it or not.

That did solve things, in the short term. There were never any problems with him not being able to handle something because the risks were too high. When asked to do it, he would just do it. This did cause him to lose a job or two, but that was never looked at as the biggest of losses. It wasn't like his mental health suffered from it.

Such things came much later. Apathy did not give the instant results that the standardized reactions did. Keeping emotions out of his head was never destined to be a positive thing for a creature that thrived on socialisation. Never showing anything, never feeling anything, and never doing anything. How Troy had not seen what would come from it, he could not really understand. He should have seen the problems from the start. Total withdrawal from the world around him was never something that could have gone right.

It took a lot of time to realise what had been going on, the slow distancing from everything only helping the ignorance stay alive. When it all began falling down, and the apathy began to fail, it was fun to be in the midst of it all. Those months were hard, trying to reconnect with all those who had been blocked, ignored, or had been talked to just a bit too politely. Some welcomed him back. Those were few in numbers. Others faked their smiles and blocked him in the same way that he had done. The last group straight up said what was on their minds, telling him just what he needed to do with himself.

This had forced him back into it all, making him begin using the flawed method. Yet, even if it was a terrible way to hold expectations in the clear, the technique was still so much better than what it had done before. With no chance of being in between, it was destined to nearly always fail. However, being a full success was never its destiny. Troy had realised that after some time.

Its purpose was to take the brunt of the damage, to be the shield that stopped the immense response that could have come from expecting the opposite of reality. If Troy had been hoping for a massive success, having a just as massive failure would bring too much upon him, forcing a state of mind that could not have been endured. By being in the middle, half the distance was already cut in half, stopping momentum from getting up in force. Didn't stop any of it from happening outright, but it would lessen the blow good enough.

Yet if that was true, why was Troy still feeling like a plastic bag, one better to be swept up by the wind. He had been wondering if he should even start again, the plans he had set in his mind never coming over to be more than that. The visit to Charlie had strings attached, strings which should have been pulled when the young man had the chance. Nothing had been going on, the check-up being the most considerable part of the situation.

He was supposed to have requested the device which would help move his plans along. In the end, he had instead asked if they would go to the gym together. At least that had been answered with a positive. Troy only needed to mentally change the question, and he could trick himself into thinking he wasn't a massive failure.

…

Nope. Did not work. He was still as sane as ever. Ignorance really was a blessing he could not have.

After having devoured another round of treats, a couple of vitamin pills, and a way too sweet beverage, Troy had been forced to get on his way. In those last five minutes spent eating to his heart's content, Charlie had mysteriously forgotten all about explaining how the procedure had worked, using long words that did not have any reason to be used. How had the man not guessed that Troy knew exactly what silicosis was? That was pretty basic knowledge for every bored person in the current age.

Nevertheless, he had been forced to accept how little he had gotten from the exchange, the terror of being late to his work being more frightful than anything medical knowledge could offer. The young man was extraordinarily happy with his ability to navigate those halls, repeated exposure seeming to offer some form of skill. Maybe natural talent really was a myth, orchestrated by those too lazy to even try for a while.

Passing by the cafeteria had allowed him to look at the time, and had summarily given him a fine incentive to move his behind a little faster. The pace had been picked up, the man only having two minutes to complete a three-minute walk. Yet again, the effects of proper fitness was shown of, only a minor case of deep breathing springing forth from the extra movement. And by the time Dr Fidelis opened the door up, the effects should have been hard for even the most perceptive to notice.

“Did you run here or something?” Dr Fidelis instantly asked, when Troy walked inside. “Keeping track of time is important for your work. Goodness knows what would have happened if you decided a little too late to look at the time.”

“I was on time, though,” Troy just had to reply, for whatever reason that stupid brain of his decision. That tongue of his had weirdly thought itself its own master and had moved before the young man even realised it was happening. That was very bad, bordering of him beginning to stress-sweat a teeny tiny bit. Luckily, there was always the potential of settling down the eye-brow beginning to be raised on the doctor's face. “Not that it doesn't mean that I will not be making sure to check the watch better next time. I could even be here a minute earlier if you would like?”

He was never the perfect bootlicker that society wanted him to be. That could have been seen as either a bad or a good thing. It really just depended on the context of the moment. In the current seconds that Troy had the pleasure of thinking about it, he was mostly swinging towards the former, cursing himself for not practising his snake-lines. If he just sounded a bit more earnest, the response to his veil could have been so much better.

“Uh, as long as you don't do it again, then we shouldn't have any problems. Maybe it is a good thing that I have Dr Hale around to keep an eye on your schedule,” Dr Fides replied, the last sentence not sounding like something that Troy was meant to hear. Though, knowing just how that man sometimes acted, it was probable that he was specifically supposed to hear every single word said. “The next test is scheduled to start in the next five minutes. Are you ready to step into your normal role?”

Honestly, there was not a single bone in his body which was ready to do so. Troy would have much rather just stay on the outside, and see one of the two others try their best at doing what he was constantly dreading. Maybe that would give them some perspective on just what was going on. And it would allow him to possibly understand just what those two would be doing on the outside constantly.

Not that he would ever have the gall to say such a thing out loud. No, he would always be ready if they asked, no matter how little he would want to. The facade of being a perfect worker was important. A balanced work-life included doing things he did not enjoy.

“I should be ready enough to start, yes,” Troy answered with a nod, before moving to get behind the curtain, where he would be able to change his clothes. Doing it quickly was expected after all, and efficiency was key to remaining in good standing with the doctor.

Or, maybe it wasn't really that important. As Dr Fidelis moved to directly block Troy from moving over to change, it certainly did not seem like the current test was the most important thing in the world. How strange.

“Before you get on with that, there are some things I just have to be sure of,” Dr Fidelis said, those words not being appreciated in any word. Even if the tone was chipper, that man could make it all sound so dreadful, as if he was giving him a life sentence for blowing some gum a little too hard. “Purely for the documents, of course. Nothing that you need to be too worried about.”

Troy was very worried about it. Extremely so actually, in the sense that he would now be made to lie in official documents. He was aware that the doctor had not explicitly said so, but he knew exactly what would be asked about in what manner, and he knew just as precisely what he would be stating as his answer to those questions. God, he was happy that he had been working on keeping his face straight, or the man would have buckled himself to the ground by then.

“Doesn't sound too hard,” Troy stated, knowing exactly just how hard it was going to be. A loud curse was sent out in his mind about the lack of chairs in the room. Sitting down would have helped hide the tremors in his legs. He could only hope that the bagginess of his pants helped hide that fact. “I hope it won't be long.”

For if it was, he would just get increased chances of breaking up his facade that he had worked so hard on retaining. Dr Hale would not be able to butt in if something went wrong with the story. With the doctor already saying they would already have started in five minutes time, there was no way he would go back on his word, right? Of course, he would if the documents called for it. Proper transcription was the perfect excuse for anything in that damned sector they were situated inside of.

“Oh, it will not be long at all. Just a few simple questions that will help fill out some of the gaps in my work,” Dr Fidelis said, making a quick nod in Dr Hale’s direction. Seeing as she switched over to a new page in her notebook, Troy could only guess that the woman had been made to perform some note-keeping yet again. “Nothing that should impede us in any way. You don't have to look so nervous.”

With a face that was designed to show anything but nervousness, Troy could only attempt to get into a comfortable stance before readying himself for the barrage that was to come.

“You can just fire away then.”

“Who were you with yesterday?”

Right into the meat of it. No surprise there, seeing who it was that was dealing with the question. Even if Troy didn't answer immediately, Dr Hale had already begun writing something down. Their preliminary work had already been made, so what was it that she was transcribing? She should have known what would happen before Troy did.

“I was with friends the whole day.”

“What did you do with these friends?”

“I visited a few of their labs, went to the gym, and spent most of the afternoon in the shopping district. That's about it.”

“Dr Hale told me you actually visited her yesterday. Where does that fit in with what you just said?”

The first strike had been delivered. A plausible excuse took two seconds to come up with. More than enough for a suspicious silence. Dr Hale was continuing her rapid writing to the side, never stopping to even move the pencil of the paper.

“I visited her while she was resting in one of the laboratories,” Troy answered. Dr Fidelis nodded in understanding, his features not telling much of what he thought of it. The young man wasn't sure if the other had bought it, as the original idea had been to keep mention of it out of the picture.

“These friends of yours. Where do they work?”

“Augmentation, something related to plants, another that includes animals, and I, regrettably, do not remember the last one.” That was the honest truth right there. The word was on the tip of his tongue, yet the mind was unwilling to copy accordingly.

“How were you able to get inside these locations? You have not received your id-card.”

“A distinct friend of mine was kind enough to escort me throughout the day.”

“Oh, that was kind of him to do. For future reference, what is this man’s name?”

Another strike, this one of a different kind. Troy would have liked to refrain from giving such specific details.

“His name is Charlie. He has mentioned his last name, but I also can't remember it.”

“A good friend then, if you can use first names. Dr Hale, do you perchance remember this man’s name? I remember the first name popping up in your earlier documents at some point. Though… that might have been years ago, so I am not too sure if it's the same one.”

“His name is Freeman, sir,” Dr Hale dutifully informed. “He was introduced to Troy due to him regularly eating with me during break times.”

“That is absolutely good to know, in more ways than one,” Dr Fidelis said, before taking a glance at the screen. At this, the reaction was broadening. “Oh, dear. We have been using too much time on this one. Troy, I am sorry for asking, but could you possibly get ready within the next thirty seconds?”

How the young man loved the status quo.